Chapter Twelve: Till the sun breaks down
December began to draw to a close, and over the next several days, Minerva had frequent visitors. New Year's Eve day was spent sequestered away in her study with her brother and her niece. She emerged a few minutes before midnight to find Albus and wish him a happy New Year. When he kissed her, Minerva embraced him and leaned into him with a sigh.
"I love you, Albus," she whispered.
"I know, my dearest, and I love you." He kissed her hair, breathing in her scent. "When are you going to tell me what you, Murdoch, and Melina are doing?"
"When it is necessary. When you need to know." Minerva leaned back and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. "You understand that, Albus, 'need-to-know,' don't you?"
"I do not hold your secrecy against you," Albus responded. "After the secrets I kept from you, which in hindsight was perhaps unwise, I can understand that. But . . . these potions and whatever it is you have planned, you cannot expect me to continue without consulting me when I am apparently at the centre of your plans."
"You know about that, too, Albus—someone being the centre of your plans, and that person being wholly unaware of it. Or only dimly aware. And I am only being secretive; I am telling you no lies," she said, naming what had angered and hurt her most. "You will know when it is time for you to know. I will tell you the truth. And you will do as I say." Minerva stepped back out of his embrace, looking up at him seriously. "You will, Albus Dumbledore. It may be hard on you, but I assure you that it will be harder on me—and I am not simply speaking of what I will be asking of you, but what I will be demanding of myself. At the moment, I am asking very little of you. I will ask more, but I will proceed with or without your cooperation, and then . . . and then you will have to cooperate because you will have no other choice. I would rather you choose to cooperate now and do as I ask. I don't want to force you, but I will."
Albus shook his head. "I don't know what you are thinking of forcing me to do, Minerva. If Severus will not kill me, there are only two options left. Whichever one I choose, I will need to make plans for what will happen afterward. I have cooperated with you to this point because I know that I hurt you and you were—you are—upset, both with me and with the circumstances. But it is futile to fight the inevitable and it will only cause more pain for us both in the end," Albus said, trying not to allow his irritation to enter his voice. "I love you, Minerva, I do. And if there were anything I could do to spare you pain, I would do it. I tried to do just that. It was, perhaps, poorly calculated, but that was my intent."
"Then you will cooperate with me," Minerva said with a nod. "Good."
Albus closed his eyes and suppressed a sigh. He opened them and looked at her. "I did not say that, Minerva, my love. I do not want our last weeks marred by such dissension, but . . ." He shook his head again. "I do not see how you can force me to cooperate, in any case. I know that you love me, and I cannot believe that you would attempt to use an Imperio to gain my cooperation."
"If you will not choose to cooperate, I will simply make it impossible for you to refuse," Minerva said softly. "But I hope that once you see my plan, you will choose to cooperate. It would pain me to force you. And you say that it is futile to fight the inevitable, but it is not a fight I am proposing. It is . . . it is using the inevitable to our advantage, or at least what you believe to be inevitable."
Albus raised his eyebrows. "That sounds . . . interesting. I assume it does not involve me surrendering to Tom's many tender mercies," he said, remembering what Minerva had said about the prophecy being fulfilled.
"Don't be absurd—don't even think such a thing. It makes me positively ill." Minerva grimaced. "Truth be told, it all makes me ill. But we are dealt a hand, and we will play it."
"So what is your plan, this using the inevitable to our advantage?" Albus asked, even more curious.
"You will learn of it when the details are worked out, and then you may even help, if you can enter into it with the appropriate attitude, but until that time, you won't get a word from me—and don't try working on Murdoch or Melina, either. They won't tell you. Mother is coming by tomorrow with Calum," she informed him, naming Melina's oldest son who, though a talented wizard, had chosen to follow in his Muggle father's footsteps and became a chemist for a large pharmaceutical company, rarely having any contact with the wizarding world any longer, save that with his family.
"They won't know of the entire plan, nor even of the entire problem," Minerva continued, "so I ask that you not discuss anything with them other than the weather and whether your most recent sherbet lemons have enough fizz to them." She reached out and put her hands on Albus's upper arms, smiling up at him. "Now, give me another kiss. I will be up a while longer, but I would like you to go to bed now and get your sleep. I recommend your bedroom tonight, but I hope you will join us in the morning for breakfast. Don't forget your potion!"
Minerva was determined to the point of obstinance, Albus found, as over the next few days, he attempted to get her or one of her co-conspirators to tell him what they were discussing. He had even resorted to casting an eavesdropping spell, which had set off a dreadful cacophony of screeching and wailing. Minerva had opened the door to her study, cancelled the alarm with a slash of her wand, and shaken her head in disapproval.
"I suppose I would have been disappointed if you hadn't tried it," she said. "And whatever you try, I assure you that I have layers upon layers of spells and layers of alarms on the spells. No doubt you could make your way through all of them if you were determined, but I can guarantee you that it would take you a while and I would know you are doing it. I will tell you everything in a day or two." Minerva began to return to her study, then she turned and said brightly, "Oh, and Robert is arriving this afternoon. I thought you might make him comfortable and welcome. He will be staying in the Ravenclaw guest rooms—I am sure you will be happy to show him to the rooms and make certain that he gets settled in. We will expect you both back here for tea at four."
And so it went, and when one afternoon Albus saw Alroy MacAirt, the January sun glinting off his bright golden-red hair, leaving the grounds with Gareth McGonagall, neither having stopped by to see him, he knew that the younger wizards had certainly been there at Minerva's behest. He went to Gryffindor Tower and found Minerva in her sitting room with Robert and Murdoch, parchments spread everywhere. Murdoch flicked his wand, gathering them all together and sending them flying into the study; Robert closed the door behind them with a wave of his own wand.
"I just saw Alroy and Gareth leaving the grounds," Albus said.
"Yes, they were here visiting us," Minerva said. "Alroy was . . . consulted. His participation is not yet required, but we needed to speak with him so that he could make certain preparations. And Robert and I wished to see Gareth, send a message to Gertrude with him."
"They didn't come to see me."
"They thought that best. You can't charm them into revealing anything if you don't see them. Melina will be here in a while. As long as you promise not to try Legilimency on her," Minerva said, only half-joking, "you are welcome to stay until dinner, since we are done for the time being. They will all be taking dinner here in my rooms while you and I eat with the students, few though they are. I believe they are tiring of Slughorn's story of how things were when he was a boy, and I think we should encourage other topics of conversation. I thought we could discuss wizarding careers this evening."
"May I speak with you alone a moment, Minerva?" Albus asked, ignoring her own change of topic.
"Excuse us," Minerva said with a smile. "If Melina gets here, be sure that she knows that Albus is with me."
Minerva took Albus's left hand and brought him into the bedroom and closed the door behind them.
"You told me that you would inform me of what this is all about before the students return for classes. They return Sunday evening; classes begin on Monday. Today is Friday," Albus said.
"I am aware of that," Minerva said impatiently. "You really can be irritating sometimes, Albus, much as I love you. I will tell you this now: after dinner, Melina will be giving you a thorough examination. Very thorough. I know you will not like it, but you will allow it. I will stay with you or leave the two of you alone, whichever you prefer. You may have it here in the bedroom or in my study—or up in your suite, if you prefer that. But that is the only choice you have in the matter."
"Minerva, I have never known you to be this way." Albus frowned. "I do not need to submit to an examination. Even if I didn't know the state of my own health, it is moot. I will soon cease taking the potions, and we know what will ensue from that. I have been taking the potions to please you over the holiday, and I have humoured you with this plan of yours—and I am sorry if you have dragged your family into it and had Robert come all this way for nothing, but time is flying, and I cannot continue to humour you."
Minerva's jaw was tight. "Humour me? Humour me! Your life is at stake, Albus! Your life, Severus's life, Draco's, Harry's—even the future of the wizarding world! You speak of humouring me as though I were planning a surprise party that you are pretending to know nothing about. I think I am more angry with you in this moment than I have been in our entire relationship. I told you that you would do as I asked—or as I direct, if I must do that—and you will. If you do not cooperate at this stage, then I will begin to set my plans in motion without your knowledge and tell you about them only after the point at which you can do nothing but cooperate. I do not wish to do that," Minerva said, trying to carefully control her displeasure with him. "You may think about it over dinner. Choose to cooperate with Melina this evening or force my hand, Albus. But in the end, whatever you do this evening, Melina will be giving you that examination before the students return. And after she gives you the examination, I will consult with her and then I will share my plan with you." Minerva stepped toward the door, then she turned back to him. "I take no pleasure in giving you this ultimatum, Albus, but I had hoped that you would trust me."
"I do," Albus said quietly, "but I am aware of the situation. I know what must happen. Anything that you and your cohorts are planning is superfluous. And if by some peculiar chance, it is not, you would have benefited from having me participate—particularly as your plans pertain to me."
"No, we would not. And precisely because the plans pertain to you. You have tunnel vision at the moment, Albus. I don't blame you for that. I understand it. And I know that it makes it easier for you to resign yourself to what you believe must happen, but it would only interfere with our ability to entertain ideas and work on solutions to the various problems that will arise over the next months." Minerva opened the door. "You have a couple hours to think about it. I hope you do not make this harder for me than it already is."
After dinner, Albus reluctantly entered Minerva's study with Melina. Less than ten minutes after that, the three waiting in the sitting room could hear clear sounds of dissension coming from the study. Minerva didn't even knock; she simply opened the door and walked in to find Albus backed against the edge of the desk and clutching the front of his robe to him with his one good hand.
Melina turned to her. "Min, he just will not cooperate. He let me cast a few diagnostic spells on him and his hand, but I asked him to disrobe and he refuses."
Minerva closed the door. "Albus. Get undressed, man."
"She can determine all she needs to from the spells she just cast. Or others, if she wishes. I do not need to undress," Albus insisted.
"Melina, give us a minute, please." When they were alone, Minerva said, "I know that you dislike physical examinations, but unless you want my mother to do it—which I would not prefer because it would require her to have greater knowledge and involvement than I believe to be wise—you will allow Melina to proceed."
"A Healer can perform a perfectly adequate examination without having the patient disrobe," Albus replied.
"Normally, yes. But this is not a normal situation and Melina is doing more than assessing your magical and physical health. You need to cooperate with her unless you want to strip down for my mother," Minerva said.
"You gave me a choice. I have tried to cooperate. But she can cast her diagnostics and that is that," Albus replied, just as stubborn as Minerva at that moment.
"My mother—"
"Egeria can stay at home. I know the curse that afflicts me. I know that these new potions are helping more than the old one. I can feel it. If I persisted in taking them, they would likely extend my life another decade. But I will not continue taking them. The longer that I take them, the more difficult it will be for me to stop." Albus looked at Minerva with anguish on his face. "Do you think that I enjoy the way the curse creeps its way through my body? Do you think that I relish the prospect of allowing it to invade my internal organs until they can no longer function? Or that having my magic weaken appeals to me? Within a month, I doubt I will be able to do the simplest wandless magic, and from there, it will be a rapid downhill race to see whether my magic or my body fails me first, but I know that within two months, possibly less, I won't be able to manage a simple Accio without feeling exhausted. And during all that time, I will have to watch you watching me die, taking my leave of you slowly. Can you imagine that I wish to do this? Do not make it harder. I will take these potions two more days for you, Minerva, and that is all. I had hoped that we could spend these days, these last days before my health begins to fail, together. That we could enjoy being together before every bit of me begins to fall apart."
"Please let Melina examine you thoroughly," Minerva said softly. "Please. Do not force me to set my plans in motion without that examination. If you cannot do this, this one very small thing, how can I know that you will listen to my plan, hear it out fairly, that you will cooperate with the first step in it? I do not wish to do anything to you against your will. There will come a time when you will stop taking these potions, that is true, but not yet. And there are certain variables that I would rather be assured of first, before I do anything. Please. I would like your cooperation. I do not want to proceed without that. I don't want to force anything on you."
"Then send Melina home. And Murdoch, as well. Robert can leave tomorrow. I will create a Portkey for him."
Minerva shook her head. "No, they are my guests, and they are staying." She sighed. "I will ask them to give us some privacy for the rest of the evening, however, as soon as I've spoken with Melina. We can try to forget our . . . our disagreement for a short time, at least, and have a quiet evening together. Stay with me tonight?"
Albus nodded. He was in no mood to try to forget their disagreement, but he was in no mood to prolong it, either. He waited in the study until Minerva came back.
"They're gone," Minerva said.
"Not to their own homes, I presume," Albus said wearily.
"They said something about hot grog with Hagrid. But they won't be back tonight. Game of chess? Or backgammon?" Minerva asked.
Albus nodded. "Whichever you prefer."
"Chess with Dad's old set, then," Minerva said.
They sat across from each other in her sitting room, moving the Muggle chessmen with flicks of their fingers. Finally, they each had only a King, a Knight, and two pawns remaining. Albus suggested a draw. Minerva shook her head. It took her a while, but she took his last remaining pawn, then manoeuvred one of her pawns all the way to his first row, making it a Queen. Albus let out a quick laugh and tipped over his King.
He smiled at her. "I still think it is a draw, but you managed that, so you deserve to win."
"I could have won," Minerva replied, putting the chessmen back in their case. "Your mind is not on the game."
"I am surprised that yours is," Albus said.
"I am remarkably concentrated these days, Albus," she said. "At the peak of my game."
"You don't want to play another?"
"No, I would prefer just to sit, have a cognac, listen to some music, and cuddle up on the sofa with you." She stood and took Albus's good hand. "How does that sound to you?" she asked softly.
"Good. Very good."
Minerva opened their Charmed musical box and set it to play a selection of Romantic pieces by Liszt, Chopin, Ravel, Debussy, and Saint-Saëns, then she poured Albus a small snifter of brandy and a larger one for herself. Albus raised an eyebrow when he saw the amount in his glass.
"What is this, loser gets less?" he asked.
"No. You really shouldn't drink anything. You have another dose of potion waiting for you. The red one this time, I believe."
"Mmm. The cognac tastes better," Albus said, but he didn't make any other comment.
Minerva sipped her cognac, then set it down on the table and rested her head against Albus. He nuzzled her hair, then sent his glass to join hers. He took her hand in his left and raised it to his lips before pulling her closer.
"I love you, you know, Minerva. I truly do. I hate arguing with you like this," he said.
They rarely argued seriously. They had disagreements, sometimes strong ones, but they were rarely at loggerheads, and it had been years, decades, in fact, since they had had any argument that put them at odds for days on end.
"I am sure you know that I don't enjoy it," Minerva replied. "But I told you before, Albus, I will have my way in this, whatever it takes. I do not impose myself and my will upon you lightly, and you must know that, too. It is not my habit to order you about or to make demands upon you."
"No, no, it is not," he said softly. "And that is one reason why I wish that I could comply with every one of them."
"In the morning, will you submit to an examination by Melina, then?"
Albus took a deep breath and let it out. "Let us leave this until the morning, Minerva."
Minerva nodded. "That is fine. I do so very much enjoy just sitting with you like this. Mmm, you feel so solid and warm."
Albus closed his eyes and rested his head against hers. He tried not to think of what the curse would do to his body, how it would invade his very bones, waste his muscles, fill his lungs with all manner of fluid, drowning him slowly, and shut down his kidneys and liver, poisoning his blood. He would not be warm and solid at the end of it all, and even his cold corpse would be a pathetic sight. And all of this with Minerva beside him to the very end. He would be grateful for her presence, but it pained him to know how she would suffer seeing him so.
"You are my beloved, my sweet one, always my sweet, sweet delight, always. I am so sorry, so very sorry for everything."
"I know, Albus," she replied softly. "I know. And we must each do what we believe best." She turned her head and looked up at him. "But in the end, my darling wizard, I will gain the upper hand and you will capitulate. I know this." She stretched to kiss him, her lips meeting his. She caressed his cheek and drew back to look into his eyes. "But tonight, tonight, make love to me, make love to me, Albus."
Later, lying in bed, drowsy and relaxed from making love, Minerva heard Albus moving about in the bathroom. He apparently had decided to take a quick shower, because she heard the water come on, then his voice echoing against the tile walls as he sang. Tears rose in Minerva's eyes as she listened. She loved his voice, to hear him speak or to hear him sing. Tonight once again, as so often in the last months, he was singing the Agnus Dei set to Barber's Adagio. Sometimes, if the mood took him, he would cast a charm that would bring other voices to blend with his, but tonight, it was just him, just his voice, and she wept to hear it.
"Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.
"Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.
"Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, dona nobis pacem."
Misere nobis, have mercy upon us . . . dona nobis pacem, grant us peace. Albus felt burdened by the weight of his errors, by his responsibilities, by his frailties, and by his inability to fix everything and save everyone despite his great power and many talents. His mistakes caused him pain, he suffered when trying to mend them, and now he anticipated much greater pain to come.
Minerva knew that Albus would do whatever he believed right in order to bring an end to Voldemort, including die a horrific, anguished death, but she knew that it was not something he found easy, despite his willingness. Who would want that pain? Who would walk easily toward it, even if they found the strength to do so? She would spare him that. She would not allow him to suffer if she could keep him from it. It might be that they were all fated to die in this fight against Voldemort—Albus, Severus, herself, perhaps even young Harry—but she was sure that even if they did have to die in order to ensure Voldemort's defeat, there were nonetheless better strategies than what Albus had settled on, and Minerva believed she had found one.
Minerva sighed, rolled over, and waited for Albus to rejoin her. In the morning, she would give him one more opportunity to cooperate with Melina's examination. If he would not, she would take the first step in her plan without the examination and without consulting with him about it. And knowing Albus as she did, she knew that he would cooperate with that step. He would feel he had no other choice. Knowing that caused her gut to clench. She was not made for deception or domination, and particularly not where it concerned Albus.
When Albus settled next to her in bed, his comforting weight behind her, Minerva moved back into his waiting embrace, his right arm coming around her, his hand coming to rest on the small pillow she held in front of her.
"Good night, Albus. I love you," she whispered.
"I love you. Sleep well. Sweet dreams." He kissed the back of her head. "Thank you."
"For . . . ?"
"For this evening. It was lovely. Lovely and normal." Or as normal as possible, he thought.
"We will have more evenings like that, I promise, my darling Albus. I promise."
The next morning, Minerva rose early, taking care not to wake Albus. She entered her study and took a large sheaf of parchments from a well-warded drawer. She sighed. She had never warded anything against Albus before, never seriously. Only birthday gifts and such—although one time, in a fit of pique, she had set booby-traps on his sweets drawer. But that had been very different. And they had been amusing booby-traps, even Albus had agreed on that.
Minerva flipped through the first parchments, which all contained copies of Robert and Murdoch's Potions notes. She was going to leave the Potions end of things completely in their hands, only directing the two in terms of what was needed and when. She knew that they planned on returning to Murdoch's laboratory that morning to continue their practical work and experimentation. That would leave her and Melina to try to persuade Albus to cooperate.
Minerva closed her eyes for a moment, focussing her mind. She could not afford the time to worry about Albus's cooperation at that moment and she could not afford the energy to be upset with him. She redirected her attention to the parchments in front of her and began to scan the time-lines she had mapped out. There were several versions, each slightly different from the previous one. Some of them varied because she was not entirely sure of the best course of action at certain points, and so she had variations based on different choices; others varied based on alternative anticipated results. One couldn't predict with absolute accuracy precisely what would happen at any particular point, and Minerva wanted to account for the different possible outcomes. It was quite obvious once she had begun her branching time-lines why Albus hadn't simply intervened and stopped Draco early on. The consequences of that seemed among the worst of them—and not just for Severus, but for the Order and, by extension, for the wizarding world. It also was clearly unacceptable to allow Severus to die, however one approached it. Nonetheless, despite her well-ordered mind and her systematic creation of the time-lines, it was harder for her to keep track of the variables, their impacts, and the resulting options.
That was part of the message she had sent off with Gareth. She could use Gertrude's Arithmantic expertise. The older witch had done almost nothing over the last fifteen years but eat, sleep, and wander the island, but she was an extremely talented Arithmancer, and Minerva thought it would take more than fifteen years spent in emotional numbness to completely erase her talent and her many decades of experience. She had told Gareth only enough to help him to entice Gertrude to help.
Gareth himself was a talented and canny Arithmancer, but he was still quite young yet, with limited experience, and Minerva believed that if she could enlist the assistance of both mother and son, the accuracy of their calculations would benefit. If Gertrude agreed to help, she would have to visit Eilean Tèarmunn with Gareth and explain the entire situation to them both, sharing all of her notes with them. Gareth could stay on the island to do his work with Gertrude. He could even stay there if he were working on the problems alone; it would probably be wise to have him in a secure location. Minerva also thought it would be good for them both, although Gertrude would no doubt chafe at having someone else on the island with her. But if Gareth stayed in the other cottage, perhaps she would not mind as much. It would be good for her to have something productive to do, Minerva was sure of that, but she had no idea whether Gertrude would even allow Gareth to relay the full message, let alone agree to help.
There were members of the Order who were skilled with Arithmancy, but Minerva felt that for this project, the fewer who knew of it, the better, and beyond that, she preferred to keep it in the family and with people whom she trusted completely and whom she knew better than she did most members of the Order. There were ways she could use the Order later, but without them being aware of all that she had done to set things in motion, particularly her more questionable actions. Minerva thought that Nymphadora might be especially useful at a particular point. In the end, however, other than herself, Robert, Murdoch, and Melina, only the person who worked on the Arithmantic calculations would know the full extent of the plan. And even there, she hoped to be able to keep Murdoch out of the . . . out of the stickiest part of it, though he would have to know of it, of course. And Albus. He would know the entire plan. When she would tell him all of it, though, was up to him and how receptive he was. At the moment, it seemed that today, she would only be able to reveal parts of it to him.
Minerva took out a goose quill and started a new time-line, this one based on Albus's potential refusal to allow anyone to examine him that morning. She wished again that she were an Arithmancer, but even when she was younger, her skills in that had not been particularly strong, and so she could only go by her reason and her gut in creating branching lines, imagining results, successes, failures, and new choices. Minerva considered telling Albus at least a little about her plan in her attempt to persuade him to cooperate with Melina, but she was too worried that if she did tell him and he didn't agree, he would take measures against the first step in her plan, and she couldn't risk that.
An hour later, she heard Albus get up, and she folded the parchments away and was just putting them in their drawer when he appeared in the doorway.
"You are up early," he commented.
"I had work to do, and I was awake, so I decided to do it," Minerva replied, sliding the drawer shut. "Now that you're up, perhaps you could call for some breakfast for us."
Albus nodded, apparently in agreement, but he did not move from the doorway.
"Did you need something, Albus?"
"A good-morning kiss might be nice," he said with a smile.
Minerva stood as he came over to her. As he put an arm around her, his right arm, and bent to kiss her, Minerva said, "Don't even think about trying to remove anything from that drawer, Albus. I can feel you are getting ready to cast a spell, and I don't think it's just your minty-kiss charm."
Albus pulled back slightly, his eyebrows raised. "Remove something from your drawer, my dear? I would not—"
"Just kiss me, you silly wizard. You will know everything in good time—sooner, if you cooperate."
Minerva relaxed as he kissed her, the sensation of his lips on hers still bringing both emotional warmth and pleasurable physical thrills, even after so many years together. She leaned against him and rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart with her eyes closed, its familiar beat still strong and steady.
"Thank you, Albus."
She felt him shrug, then he kissed the top of her head.
"Go call for our breakfast while I finish here," she said, pulling reluctantly out of his arms.
"So that you can re-ward that drawer and then ward the door to the study," Albus said quietly.
"Yes. And I would ward them even if you knew all the contents of the drawer, and if you did know its contents, you would agree that it is wise to do so. Go get us our breakfast, Albus," she directed gently.
Albus left Minerva to ward her drawer and closed the door behind him. Minerva sighed and reset all three passwords on the drawer using words from three different languages and reflecting interests that she did not have, just in case Albus thought he might try to guess them. He could probably break the wards without the passwords if he wanted to, but Minerva didn't think he would try anything more than ordinary methods to sneak a peek at them. Still, it bothered her that she was warding the drawer against Albus as well as against any other prying eyes.
Over breakfast, they discussed mundane school matters, then Albus asked, "How is Gareth? I haven't seen him in at least a year. I didn't even know he had returned to the country."
"I had Calum send him an electric letter thing. They do that all of the time. I asked him to return," Minerva said, taking a sip of tea. "He's fine. I think he's unhappy to be back in the cold weather, but he was looking forward to seeing his mother."
"No romantic interests yet?"
"None that he mentioned. He is a bit like his father, I think. It may take him a while to settle down with one person."
"And one gender," Albus said wryly. "I think he's a confused boy."
"He's hardly a boy any longer, Albus, though he is still young," Minerva replied, spreading lemon curd on her toast. "I don't think he's confused, I think he . . . he just has eclectic taste. He has a lot of life in him."
"Hmmph. He doesn't have to go about sharing it with anyone over the age of consent, though."
"You are getting old, Albus. You normally have such a flexible spirit. And I really don't think it's as extreme as you paint it," Minerva said. "I hope you don't intend to lecture him about your own misspent youth again. The circumstances are entirely different, and all it does is make him less willing to talk to you about personal matters."
"No, I have no intention of bringing up the values of moderation, chastity, and constancy," he said. "And you're right. He is a good lad, and he has many admirable qualities. I just wish he were more like his father."
"I think he is a great deal like his father was at his age. You knew Malcolm only superficially when he was a younger man; by the time that you got to know him well, he was middle-aged—fifty, at least, if I remember right—and Gareth's only thirty-two," Minerva reminded him. "At least Gareth's not as adventurous as his father was. In the current climate, that would make it more difficult for him to keep his promise to his mother not to become involved with the Order or the fight against Voldemort."
"Isn't that what you're trying to get him to do, though? Become involved?" Albus asked, fishing for clues.
"I told you, I had a message for Gertrude and I wanted to see Gareth myself, anyway, as did Robert. As you say, he has been away for more than a year this time," Minerva said, not satisfying Albus's curiosity.
"Perhaps we could go see Gertrude tomorrow," Albus suggested. "We haven't been out there since August."
"And have her see your hand again? And have us both lying to her about your health on this visit? I do not think that would be a very kind thing. Robert says she is doing well, and I don't want to upset her unnecessarily."
"As opposed to upsetting her necessarily?" Albus asked.
"Mmm." Minerva finished her cup of tea and ignored his comment. "I may go visit her in a few days, and I can give her your love then. You could write her a letter."
Albus nodded. "Is she doing better, then?"
"Robert says that Gluffy hasn't had to hide her wand from her in months, so I'd say that was good." Minerva sighed, frowning. "She does still say she sees it all of the time, though. At least she isn't talking anymore about trying to Apparate there. I have no confidence that she would do anything but drown herself or Splinch if she tried that."
"Is she still seeing the . . . the other things?"
Minerva shook her head. "Either she isn't or she has decided not to mention it because it upsets everyone. I am hoping that Gareth will agree to stay with her for a while. It would do her good. I thought he could stay in our cottage."
Albus nodded. "If he wishes."
"Now, back to the more pressing matters," Minerva said. "Melina will be here shortly. I need to know what to tell her."
"If you would tell me why she needs to do such an extensive examination, I might agree."
Minerva thought a moment. "She needs to do the examination in order to have more data to work with, as she puts it."
"Toward what end?"
"Once the project is underway, I will reveal all to you. After you have had the examination and I have had an opportunity to discuss the results with Melina, I will tell you much of it, but not all, not until . . . until things have progressed and you are receptive."
"Until we have passed some point that you consider the point-of-no-return, I imagine," Albus said. "I need to know your plans now, Minerva. If this involves some crackpot cure—"
"Albus, I resent your tone," Minerva said, interrupting. "Melina is one of the most highly regarded specialists in curse- and spell-damage in all of Europe. Murdoch, you have said many times yourself, is an inventive and skilled Potions master, as is Robert. Between Robert and Murdoch, the two wizards have over one hundred years combined experience."
"I am sorry, let me rephrase it. If this involves some ill-advised cure or treatment for the curse on my hand, I cannot agree to it. You know what the options are, and you told me yourself that the prophecy would be fulfilled." Albus swallowed. "Allowing the curse to run its course is the way that I would prefer the prophecy to be met, Minerva. I know you don't like it—I don't particularly like it, myself—but it is my life, and I can ensure the safety of others by choosing this course. We both know what must be done."
"I am not going to argue with you about it. You do not have sufficient information to argue with me." Minerva took in a calming breath and let it out slowly. "Now, will I be able to tell Melina that you will cooperate in this one small thing? Or, if you prefer, I will have my mother come. Melina can tell her what needs to be done and why. I know that Mother would be very willing to do it for us if you would be more comfortable with that."
"No." Albus shook his head. "I am sorry, Minerva, to disappoint you. Let us enjoy these two days before the students return and before I stop taking any potion. Let's do that and forget for a little while what lies ahead of us. We could even make it a little holiday, pop over to the island. I wouldn't have to see Gertrude. You could go see her for both of us, warn her that we're there until Sunday evening. Wouldn't that be nice?" Albus reached across the table to take her hand, but Minerva stood, pulling away from him.
"Some other time, it would be nice," Minerva said. She closed her eyes and counted to ten. When she opened them, she said, "Albus, we want to do what is best for you and for Severus, Draco, and Harry. And once more details are worked out, I will share the entire plan with you. I think you will approve of it. Until then, I know that you will simply find argument after argument against it without even completely hearing me out. I can see that clearly now. Wait here a moment, please."
Minerva left the room, and when she returned, she had an old parchment that Albus immediately recognised.
"Do you remember these words that you wrote so many years ago? I believed them, all of them. Have things changed so much over the years that they are no longer true?" Minerva handed the parchment to him.
He scanned the poem he had written for her almost forty years before. "It's still true, Minerva," he said softly. "We just have different interpretations of what they might mean in practice, given what we face now."
"And what of 'strength and will and hope,' Albus? Have I lost those so utterly that you no longer see them in me? Can you not share my hope? Can't you have faith that I am not on a fool's odyssey?"
"I don't know, Minerva," Albus said with a deep sigh, not wanting to hurt her. "This is hard enough . . . to think there might be another way . . . that is temptation only, my love. I have considered this problem from every conceivable angle for the last six months. There is no way out other than this—unless you wish to allow Draco to proceed as he is, let the Death Eaters into the school, and have me killed or captured—possibly bitten. Do you know that Tom finds it very amusing to turn his captives into werewolves and present them with the results of their attacks when they have regained their human form? And then during the remainder of the month, he has other various tortures for them. Severus has told me terrible stories of what he does to wizards and witches who have only opposed him in the most mild way. Can you imagine what he would do to me?"
Minerva tried not to imagine that, instead answering his first declaration. "You lacked my perspective, Albus. You couldn't have considered it from certain angles simply because, regardless of your genius, you were lacking that perspective. What I could offer is something that would never occur to you." Minerva bent and kissed his forehead, taking the old poem from him as she did so. "Can I tell Melina that you will cooperate, despite your discomfort with it?"
Albus shook his head. "I am going for a walk. You can tell her whatever you like, but I cannot entertain any false hopes. I have hope for you, and for Severus, for Harry, for the wizarding world, and I have faith that all will work out so that Tom will be defeated, but the best I can hope for for myself . . . is that my death is of some use and that I am able to enter it with some grace. I am sorry that we are at such an impasse, Minerva. I hope . . . I hope that you will still . . ." Tears welled in his eyes. "Will you still be with me? Stay by my side through it?"
"Albus, I will never leave your side or abandon you. Never. I will do what I must when I must, but I will stay with you." She kissed his cheek. She smiled at him. "You really are still a silly wizard, my darling Albus, if you would think that I would not stay by your side." She stepped back away from him. "You go on your walk, then, Albus. I will be here when you return, I promise, and when you return, I will send Melina away."
Albus smiled and seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Twenty minutes later, he had donned his favourite burgundy and gold winter robes with their matching cloak and hat, and was leaving for his stroll about the grounds, blowing Minerva a warm and gentle kiss as he stepped through the door.
"I love you, Albus. Enjoy your walk," Minerva called after him with a smile. "And try not to get into any snowball fights!"
Albus chuckled and closed the door behind him. He didn't encounter anyone on his way down to the great front doors, which he opened with a flick of his wand. The air was crisp and cold, the sky, a most perfect blue, and there was a slight breeze ruffling the winter-grey surface of the lake. It would have been good to have had Minerva come with him, but she had to wait for Melina, and he was just as happy to wander about on his own, greeting some of the few students who had remained behind for the holiday and who were also out on that beautiful morning. He found Hagrid, who encouraged him to come in for a hot cuppa, fortunately with nothing more exotic than cinnamon added to it, and when he made his way back up to the castle two hours after having left for his walk, Albus was feeling more at ease than he had since leaving Aberforth on Boxing Day.
A small voice in the back of his head reminded Albus that Minerva was a determined witch, and that she had said something about forcing him, about him being left with no choice but to cooperate, but he ignored it. Minerva loved him. He could not see her using force on him, and certainly not the Unforgivable Imperio, which she could probably cast if she were motivated, but which he could also easily shrug off. No, she had said that when he returned, she would send Melina away. She must have seen that further argument would only sour what little time they had left with him still in good health. She was a reasonable witch, after all, quite sensible. Always had been the sensible one, even as a girl, he thought as he climbed the stairs to rejoin her in Gryffindor Tower.
He stepped into Minerva's sitting room and smiled at the two witches. Melina had on her cloak and seemed ready to leave.
"Good morning, Melina, my dear! On your way out?" Albus asked as though it were a mere social pleasantry.
"Yes, we saw you walking back from Hagrid's," Melina said, then added with a laugh, "We were beginning to wonder if you'd become lost in a snow drift!"
"No, no, just some hot tea and friendly conversation with Rubeus," Albus said, taking off his cloak.
Melina crossed the room, stopping on the way to give Albus a kiss on his cold, pink cheek. She looked up at him with her soft dark brown eyes and said gently, "We all love you, you know, Albus."
"And I love you," he replied with a warm smile.
Melina reached the door and looked back at Minerva. Minerva nodded and said, "Thank you, Melina."
Melina turned, then drew and raised her wand. Albus stepped back, slowly reaching for his own wand, unsure what she was doing. But Melina was not aiming at him, instead slashing her wand toward her aunt, as in a firm, strong voice, she incanted, "Celebrare Adfectus Amor Ultimus!"
She barely blinked at the arc of colour that surrounded Minerva and was now reaching out toward Albus, but quickly opened the door and left, closing it firmly behind her.
A/N: If you would like to read the poem that Minerva and Albus look at in this chapter, Beyond death's frail caul, it's located on the website of the Petulant Poetess. You can find links on my author's page here on ffnet.
NEXT: Chapter Thirteen, And the west moon
Severus has an unpleasant encounter in the Headmistress's Office. Gareth, Gertrude's other son, expresses himself. Hermione learns something about Severus that she hadn't known, and Severus is surprised by her reaction to it. (4 April 1998.)
Characters: Hermione Granger, Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape.