Chapter Eighteen: Strapped to a wheel

Albus reclined on the sofa in Minerva's sitting room in Gryffindor Tower, sipping a cup of chamomile and kava tea and trying to get comfortable while he waited for her. He was concerned about Minerva. Since she had unveiled her plan to him after Melina had cast the Celebrare Adfectus Amor Ultimus and the results had played themselves out the week before, Minerva had scarcely had more than five hours of sleep a night and was barely eating. She was driving herself night and day, and the strain, he believed, was becoming evident. Her usual teaching duties were sufficient to tire anyone, and although he had not left the castle since the students had returned, she did still have significant responsibilities as Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor.

Albus stretched out his right hand and looked at it, turning it over, examining the wrist, then letting his sleeve fall back so he could see his forearm. Black and shrivelled, fading to grey and wasted. He nodded in approval, then shook his sleeve back down and reached for his teacup with his left hand. He paused as the door opened and Minerva stepped through.

"My dear! What is it?" Albus sat up and gestured to the space beside him on the couch. "Come here, my love."

Minerva's eyes were bloodshot and her face, pale. She lowered herself wearily to the cushion beside Albus and blinked.

"What is it, Minerva?"

Minerva blinked again and a few tears escaped her eyes. "Melina . . ." she began, her voice cracking. "Oh, Albus!" She turned into his waiting embrace and rested her head against his shoulder, silent tears falling on his robes.

"Yes, my dear?" Albus asked in a whisper.

"Melina made me . . . she brought a cat this time. Oh, Albus!" The silent tears became sobs. "How can I do this? I have to do this, but how?"

"Shh, shh, shh, my sweet one," Albus murmured. "Tell me. Tell me about it, my dear, brave Gryffindor, my love."

Minerva shook her head slightly. "I killed it. I killed it, Albus. It was dreadful. How can I do what I must when this . . . I have failed, Albus, I have failed," she said, weeping uncontrollably.

Albus held her and rubbed her back as she wept, murmuring soothing sounds in her ear.

"We buried it near the Forest," Minerva finally said. "I couldn't even manage to make its little grave. I was too upset. Melina had to do it. A simple charm like that, and I couldn't do it. How can I continue?"

"You will continue because you must, my love. Your plan is clever and it has every chance of success. Your role is the most difficult, for all that you may claim is demanded of me, but I have faith in you." He kissed her hot forehead. "I have complete faith in you, my love. I know you will succeed; all is dependent upon you, and my faith in you is unwavering. We will succeed and all your goals will be met. I am sure of it."

Minerva nodded and fumbled for her handkerchief, finding only a wadded up one in her pocket. Albus reached into his own pocket and gave her his. She wiped her face and blew her nose.

"The poor little thing was sick and would have been dead within days, Melina told me, which is why she chose it, to make it easier for me if . . . if . . ."

"Shh, no need to talk about it. You will succeed. But in order to succeed, you need rest and you need food. You will go to bed, I will order a tray for you, and you will sleep until at least six."

Minerva shook her head and sat up. "I have too much to do, Albus. I can't sleep."

"You will sleep. And if you cannot, you will take a potion to help you. And you will have something to eat."

"Dinner—"

"The Great Hall will do without us tonight. You will have something now, then go to bed. You are exhausted."

"You should go, though, Albus. We cannot both be gone. Not yet."

Albus took a deep breath and let it out. "All right. I will go for a little while." He looked at Minerva's clock. "I will leave in a few minutes, but I will draw you a bath before I go. When I get back, we will get you some light supper—which you will eat; don't think I haven't noticed that you are banishing your food—and then I will tuck you into bed."

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked, leaning into his solid warmth.

"Yes, my darling Minerva, I will stay with you tonight." He kissed her forehead. "I will stay with you, my love."

Two days later, Tuesday evening, Minerva ate her dinner with little appetite but with some determination as Albus kept a discreet watch on every mouthful. Still, she finished as quickly as possible, and when the pudding arrived on the tables, she rose and excused herself. As she left, Severus stood and followed her out.

"Minerva," he said, catching up with her in the front hall. "Minerva . . . I have not seen you since Boxing Day."

"You have seen me almost daily, Professor Snape," Minerva said stiffly, bearing in mind all that she must do and why.

"We have not spoken—"

"We spoke just yesterday at the meeting of the Heads of House, Professor. Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do."

Severus reached for her, but dropped his arm as a small group of students emerged from the Great Hall.

Minerva turned and began to walk at a good clip down the hallway past the staff room.

"Minerva, Professor McGonagall—" Severus said, following her, determined to speak with her.

"I have five minutes for you, Professor," Minerva said, turning and facing him. She walked back, opened the door to the staff room, and Severus followed her in.

"You spoke with the Headmaster. Were you able to persuade him?"

"I persuaded him to reexamine his decision," Minerva replied coolly.

"And?"

"And he reexamined his decision. If you wish to know more, I suggest you speak with him."

"I have seen your niece here recently. Is she treating him? Is he taking the new potions?"

"Dumbledore is a stubborn man, as you know, Professor. Melina is attempting to assist me. I have also been . . . under something of a strain. Her presence has been a comfort to me."

"But the potions—"

"Speak with Dumbledore, Professor," Minerva said briskly. "I suggest tomorrow afternoon. I will tell him to expect you after your last class. Good evening, Professor Snape!"

Minerva quickly left the staff room and an unappeased Severus Snape.

The next afternoon, following Minerva's advice, Severus went directly to the Headmaster's Office after the final class of the day. There, he found another wizard already waiting for the Headmaster: a tall, lanky man, the lamplight glinting off his greying auburn hair. Severus had seen him from a distance a few weeks before, but had not recognised him then and still did not at closer proximity.

The older wizard turned and nodded in greeting, his words tinged with a peculiar accent. "Professor Snape. The Headmaster said that he will be with us shortly."

"You have the advantage of me, sir," Severus replied.

"Crouch. Robert Crouch," the wizard said, introducing himself but not offering his hand.

"Crouch?" Severus asked. "I thought that the Crouches . . . that young Bartimus Crouch was the last of them."

"My cousin, a somewhat distant cousin," Crouch said softly. "I did not grow up in England. Perhaps I am the last of the Crouches. I do not know." The wizard shrugged and gave a peculiar half-smile.

"I see . . ."

"Do you?" Crouch asked, sitting down in one of the armchairs near the fireplace, neatly smoothing his dark brown robes as he sat. "Perhaps you do. Perhaps you would see better if you knew of my father, my father Reginald Crouch."

Severus sat and listened in horror and dread as this foreign Crouch described to him his father's end and then his mother's fate, a fate in which Severus had played a part. Crouch never accused, but it was clear that he knew who Snape was, beyond his role as an instructor at Hogwarts.

After Albus had arrived and Robert had greeted him with a warm embrace, Albus told him that Minerva was waiting for him in his sitting room and to go up to see her.

"So, my boy, Minerva said you wished to see me," Albus said, lowering himself slowly into the chair opposite Severus, which Robert had just vacated.

"Yes. I want to know what you have decided. Whether you have reconsidered. I know that Minerva spoke with you. She told you . . . I will not do it. I will not."

"I know that, Severus," Albus said mildly, "and as I told you that night, as it is so important to you, I will bear that in mind. I appreciate that you have given me time to find a different course, if there is one to be found."

"But—"

"If you are abdicating the role that you were to play, Severus, there is no need for you to be involved any further. Continue as you have done. Bring me word of Tom's activities, let me know if there is any genuine information that you need to mingle with the lies you feed him, and I will tell you what you may safely divulge. Watch over Harry and Draco, and, if you are able, over Minerva. She is unhappy with us both at the moment, but she will come around in time. I believe that she will need your assistance in the future."

"And the Vow?"

"Follow your conscience, my boy." Albus smiled. "I am very glad that you have one, despite the inconvenience of it! And do not concern yourself about me. Now, dinner will be served soon and I need to speak with Robert, so I must excuse myself. Was there anything else?"

"Crouch."

"Yes?"

"He told me who he is. Who his mother was. Who she is."

"Did he," Albus said softly.

"Is it true?"

"You know the answer to that, Severus."

"Why is he here?"

"Robert is a relative and a friend," Albus explained. "He has been here as a support to Minerva. He is also a Potions master, and Minerva hopes that his presence will . . . be useful."

Severus felt a sense of relief. Albus would try the new potions, then, even if he didn't want Severus to brew them.

"I am sorry if I disappointed you, Albus."

"You exceeded my expectations, my dear boy. Any fault lies with me." Albus stood. "Now, go to dinner. I will see you there shortly."

It was a very cold first day of February, sleet turning to ice as it hit the ground, and Minerva wished she had been able to prevail upon Melina to stay overnight, but her niece insisted on returning home, saying she had been spending too much time away from Brennan as it was. Although her husband was very understanding about it, and their daughter, Rosemary, had temporarily moved back home, so he wasn't alone all day, Melina still felt neglectful.

Minerva returned first to her rooms, and when Albus was not there, she Flooed through to Albus's bedroom. She entered his sitting room to find him lying on his sofa with a book open on his lap, but seemingly asleep. As she bent to kiss him, though, his eyes opened and he smiled.

Minerva pressed her lips to his forehead, then she looked at him appraisingly. He had appeared so much better after the Celebrare, strong and solid, much as he had before the curse had struck him, or perhaps even better. Now that healthy glow had faded completely.

"How do you feel?"

Albus gave a wan grin. "Better than I look, I am sure."

Albus was pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. He also appeared to have lost weight, and his cheekbones seemed more prominent. He sat up more fully, having to take some genuine effort to do so. Minerva winced.

"Those potions of Robert and Murdoch's seem to be doing what they are intended to," Albus said as Minerva sat down beside him.

She lay a hand on his forehead. "You feel feverish."

"I think that's the yellow potion," Albus said, "but I am not certain."

"I thought you weren't to begin taking that until next week," Minerva said with a frown.

"Robert and Melina had me take a dose this morning. They needed to adjust something. I didn't work on the formula for that potion, but they are concerned about its interaction with one of the others, and it seemed reasonable to test it today."

"You didn't eat very much at lunch. Did you have anything later?" Minerva asked.

"No. I couldn't seem to keep much down today, and I don't want to take any nausea potions," Albus replied. "But don't worry. I am fine. Melina says I am doing quite well, and the nausea is much better in the evening. I will have some supper after dinner in the Great Hall."

Minerva laughed shortly at that. "Very well. But I hope you do. You need to maintain your strength, and, as you keep reminding me, you can't do that if you don't eat." She reached out and pulled back his right sleeve. "It doesn't look any different."

"It shouldn't. Melina said this is fine."

"You're certain?" Minerva stopped herself, shaking her head. "Of course you are. Is it very uncomfortable?"

Albus shrugged. "It could be better, but I won't complain." He sighed. "I do wish it were only a Glamour, though."

Minerva lightly touched his blackened hand. "I am sorry, Albus," she said softly.

He pulled his hand away and put his arms around her, drawing her close. "Do not be. You are doing what you must, and so am I. Now, tell me how your day was. You seem happier, more relaxed."

"It went well. We are still back with mice, as I told you. Melina was pleased with my progress. She will be returning again tomorrow—and she is bringing both Murdoch and Robert with her to see you this time."

Albus smiled. "I am glad that Robert and Murdoch are getting along so well. They always were friendly, but it's quite a different thing to be working with someone."

"And living with them. Fortunately, Estelle is happy to have the company, too."

"Yes, well, soon enough, she'll have her husband to herself again. I thought we could move Robert into the castle in two or three weeks. He can begin taking some of your easier classes."

"I don't know, Albus. I have never thought that Transfiguration was Robert's strong suit," Minerva said with a slight frown.

"He will be fine. It will make the later transition easier and more seamless. And he needs to have more reason to be here at the castle than simply looking after me."

"You are right, of course. And Gertrude's calculations indicate that there is greater opportunity for problems to arise if he does not move in soon."

"Have you seen Gareth recently?" Albus asked hesitantly.

"No, but he will be visiting again Friday evening," Minerva replied. "You know that he has come to see you every time he has visited, Albus. The only time he didn't was when it was better for our early planning that he not."

Albus nodded. "I tried to thank him last time I saw him, and he became irritated with me. I do not understand him, Minerva. I love him, but I do not understand him. I never know whether I am about to say or do the wrong thing."

"Don't worry so much about it, then," Minerva said sensibly. "You know that he loves you. He is just somewhat mercurial. Just do or say whatever you think best without worrying too much beforehand."

"You are right, of course. And sometimes, I forget that he is a grown wizard, I think, and still treat him like the boy he was. I wish I could go back and change everything, but I don't know what I could have done, unless I could have prevented what happened to Malcolm or to Gertrude, and that wasn't possible. The rest . . . I made the decisions I had to, not because I wanted to. It wasn't easy. Even apart from what it did to him, it wasn't easy."

"Gareth knows that, Albus, and he understands. But as you say, he was just a boy at the time and now he is a man. He understands hard choices. And he is his parents' son. He will do what is right even when it is difficult."

"His participation . . . I know you have faith in it, and I will rely on that. But I was concerned about it when you initially told me."

"Yes, and you saw that his calculations, done with a different approach from Gertrude's, also showed that Severus's death would be disastrous for the Order if it were to occur as a result of the Unbreakable Vow. Gareth is an honest wizard, Albus. We can rely on him."

"You are right. And he is his parents' son. He is a credit to them, and to Robert and Thea."

"Yes, he is. Malcolm would be very proud of him." Tears welled in Minerva's eyes. "He would be very proud, indeed."

Late the next afternoon, Albus stepped out of his study when he heard Minerva come into the sitting room. He smiled. Minerva was glowing.

"I did it, I did it! I did it, Albus!" Minerva threw her arms around him and squeezed. "Melina said I just hadn't been properly prepared before. She brought me a cat again, I did it, and I'm fine!"

Albus hugged her and whirled her around. "You see! I knew you could, my dear!"

"Albus, your hand—"

"Oh, don't worry about that—and no one will be coming up here today but Melina, Murdoch, and Robert," he said, but he paused and stretched out his right arm to look at it. "It looks fine, I think."

"But you might have other visitors, Albus." Minerva looked closely at his arm. Blackened skin fading to grey part way up his arm. She poked it, then shook her head.

Albus withdrew his arm. "I am hardly going to begin to allow any unexpected visitors to poke and prod me, Minerva," he said slightly impatiently. "And besides, my sleeves are quite long. They reach my knuckles."

"All right, fine. I am in too good a mood to have that bother me right now," Minerva said. She looked around. "Where are Robert and Murdoch? I thought they were staying."

"They are in the laboratory."

"I thought they were doing all their work at Murdoch's now."

Albus shrugged. "They had an idea they wanted to try. Something they thought of when discussing the time-limit problem with Calum yesterday. I wanted to wait for you, though."

"Thank you, Albus." Minerva kissed his cheek. "Melina will be joining us in a few minutes. She just wanted to clean up our workroom then stop and say hello to Poppy. After we go to dinner and you don't eat, we can come back up here and have some supper with them. How does that sound?"

"Lovely, my dear. I feel much better today. I think I would enjoy supper with family tonight." Albus bent and kissed her cheek. "I am supposed to go into the Ministry tomorrow, but I think I am not well enough."

Minerva nodded. "Very well. I will come by in the afternoon after my last class and see how you are doing. Do you think you will come to dinner tomorrow?"

"Yes—and I have a meeting with Harry tomorrow evening."

"More breadcrumbs?" Minerva asked.

"A few breadcrumbs, yes, but also more information about the Horcruxes. I had hoped to be able to help him to locate the locket and destroy it with him, but I am afraid that the best I can do is set him on its track. We have not enough time left to do much else, and I can't continue seeking it, given . . . given the events we have to set into motion in the next few weeks."

Minerva nodded, suddenly very serious. She looked up to him. "What if I fail, Albus? What if I fail?"

"You will not fail. But if something intervenes and the outcome is not what we expect, you must still carry on, just the same. The prophecy will be fulfilled one way or the other, and Severus will survive, Draco will be saved, and finally, Harry will prevail. And you must not spend another thought on me."

"Albus! How can you say such a thing?!"

"I know . . . I simply mean that you must know that I did what was necessary, as did you, and you have to carry on," Albus replied, caressing her cheek.

"I don't want to carry on without you, Albus."

"I know, my darling, but we will get through it, you will get through it. Whatever happens. And I have faith in you."

Minerva leaned against Albus. "That means more to me than any of Gertrude and Gareth's Arithmantic calculations." She raised her face and looked up at him. "But you have to help me, Albus. You cannot give up."

"I will not give up, Minerva. I promise you. I believe in you and your plan and will do my part for you."

"I love you, Albus," Minerva whispered, resting her head against him again.

"And I, you."

After Albus had spent the dinner hour pushing his food around on his plate, and Minerva only ate half of her own meal, the two rejoined Melina, Murdoch, and Robert in the Headmaster's suite for a late supper. Despite the reason for their gathering, the meal was convivial, Albus felt well, and Melina even allowed him to have a small glass of wine, though she did say that it had to be his last one, so he savoured every drop.

Finally, Melina said, "I need to speak with Albus alone for a while, Aunt Minerva."

"I should be there," Minerva said.

"No, no, you and I have discussed what we must," Melina said. "I need to speak with Uncle Albus. Please."

"Why don't we go into my study—unless the bedroom would be more suitable," Albus said.

"Your study is fine," Melina replied. "I will only cast a few spells tonight, nothing more."

Murdoch drew a deck of cards from his pocket. "Skat?"

Minerva, somewhat distracted, agreed, and Robert cleared the table for their game as Albus and Melina went into the Headmaster's study.

After Melina closed the door, she cast an Imperturbable.

"Is that necessary?" Albus asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yes, it is. I have told Minerva all she needs to know, but we need to have a frank talk, you and I, Albus. I told Minerva that I believed the trouble the first time was that she was not properly prepared, but I also believe that the state of the creature's health played a role. You must understand that you will be quite ill at the end. You will feel wretched. You will likely minimise your discomfort when you speak with Minerva, but you must not do that with me. We need to be able to strike a careful balance."

Albus nodded. "I understand. I am quite prepared, I believe, both for the progression of my illness and for the possibility that things will not work out as we plan. I do not doubt Minerva; however, I will not speak with her about that possibility any more than necessary. I know that she needs to be strong and maintain her confidence and sense of purpose."

"Yes, she does. I do not, however. I have been a Healer for a good many years. Do not hide anything from me, Albus. Fluid accumulation could place a significant strain on your organs, particularly your heart, but we must minimise that. It is vital that you let me know exactly how you are feeling. I have learned that a diagnostic spell is only useful when cast—you will need to let me know if something changes that I need to be aware of." Melina reached out and rubbed Albus's upper arm. "Aside from all of that, none of us wants to see you suffer needlessly. I will be quite cross with you if you maintain a stiff upper lip with me."

"I promise that I will let you know if there are any unexpected changes or if I feel more ill than we had anticipated at any point," Albus said.

Melina looked away for a moment. "This is the hardest thing I have ever done, Albus," she said softly.

"I know, my dear, I know. And Minerva and I are grateful to you." Albus stood and pulled Melina to her feet, grimacing slightly at the pressure on his right hand as he did so, but he put his arms around her. "Everything will be fine."

"As long as the Ministry doesn't prevent me from ever practising Healing again," Melina said with a sigh, returning his embrace. "I don't think that the secrecy of my research will hold up after this if we are successful."

"Yes, well, I may have something to say about that; no one will know all the details, anyway. And I believe the Ministry was wrong in not supporting your research in the first place."

Melina withdrew. "You never said anything at the time."

"I . . . I had my own reservations about its misuse," Albus admitted.

"And now?"

"And now I believe it is better if it isn't secret—though not at the moment, of course," Albus hastily added. "I was wrong."

"If you had known that I was continuing with it without the Ministry's approval and travelling to the Continent to do much of it, you would have stopped me?"

"No, I would not have. And I did know. Well, that is inaccurate. I surmised you were doing that. You are a McGonagall. It would not have been in keeping with your character to simply go away quietly as you apparently did."

"Good thing, too," Melina replied. "The sooner we all realise how much we have to learn from Muggles, the better, as far as I'm concerned. And I think if we had done that long ago, Voldemort would not have had as much appeal."

"He may have had more. There are those who are threatened by any change, particularly any that seem Muggle in origin, and then there are others who see any magic to do with life and death as automatically being a Dark Art," Albus said. He took in a deep breath and let it out. "You were going to cast some diagnostics."

"Mm, just on your arm. I didn't like the way it looked this afternoon. It didn't feel right, though it seems better now."

"Oh, that was my fault. I'm sorry. Just a little cheating in private. I am sorry, my dear," Albus said, apologising again.

"Still . . . I would like to check it. And you shouldn't become complacent. I am quite surprised at you, Albus!" Melina chided.

Albus chuckled. "I suppose I need to have Alastor nearby to remind me of 'constant vigilance!'"

"Yes, but you should remember that on your own," Melina said. "But let me check you out and then we can return to the others."

Two weeks later, on Valentine's Day, the students enjoying special Valentine's treats and looking forward toward their Hogsmeade weekend the next day, Albus leaned over and whispered to Minerva that he wasn't feeling particularly well and he thought he would return to his office. He stood, took three steps, then keeled over. Minerva gasped, leapt to her feet, and was at his side immediately. Poppy hurried over to see him just as Albus's eyes were opening.

Poppy took out her wand to examine Albus, but he sat up.

"No, no, Poppy, no need for that. I merely stood too quickly," Albus said, trying to deflect the matron's wand.

"You don't fall over in a faint from standing up too quickly, not unless there's something wrong with you," Poppy said, trying to get him to let go of her wand arm.

"Here, Albus," Minerva said, putting a hand under one arm. "Let's get you up off the floor."

"We shouldn't move him," Poppy protested.

Minerva and Albus ignored her. He regained his feet and swayed, but Minerva didn't let go, and Severus had come around to his other side to steady him. Albus looked out over the Great Hall at the worried and astounded faces of the students. A peculiar feeling passed over him as he looked at them, and he shook off Severus and Minerva's hands.

"I am quite fine, now," he said. "I just need to get up to my office."

"You are coming to the Hospital Wing!" Poppy exclaimed.

"No, I am not, Poppy," Albus said quietly. "I know what is wrong with me. There is nothing you can do." He turned to Minerva. "You may owl Melina."

Minerva nodded.

"Headmaster—" Severus began.

"You may accompany me if you wish, my boy. It might reassure Madam Pomfrey to know you will be there to catch me if I'm a bit unsteady."

"Albus!" Poppy protested, but in vain.

Albus shook off Severus's hand at his elbow as they started down the length of the table. "Not in front of the students, please, Severus," Albus said softly. "I will be fine."

"I am coming too," Poppy said.

"I don't need an entourage, but if you insist," Albus said.

The four left the Great Hall under the stares of the students and staff. When they reached Albus's office, Minerva went directly to his desk and penned a few quick lines. Albus sat in his favourite armchair, and Poppy pulled out her wand again.

"Severus, please escort Madam Pomfrey to the Hospital Wing." Albus looked up at Poppy and cringed inwardly to see the injured expression on her face. "We will call you, I am sure. I am fine, Poppy. Really."

Severus himself seemed torn between obeying Albus and staying to question him.

"Albus?" he said tentatively.

"I will speak with you later, Severus," the Headmaster said tiredly. "Please, go. Minerva will stay with me."

"Your owl—" Poppy began.

"We will manage," Albus said, dismissing them finally.

When they were gone, Minerva rushed to his side and put her hand to his forehead. "You feel cool, not feverish. Next time you plan to do something like that, please let me know. It was alarming."

"I am most sorry, my dear, but I didn't plan it," Albus said. "You go send the note to Melina. I will be fine. I think it is time for Robert to begin staying at the castle now."

Minerva nodded. "I asked Melina to have him come, too. I can have Wilspy owl the note, and I will stay with you until they arrive."

"No, no, my dear. Please. I would like to be alone for a few moments. That was . . . that was very uncomfortable for me. I need some time to think quietly."

Minerva nodded in understanding, kissed his cheek, and promised to return as quickly as possible.

When she was gone, Albus sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back. He had known the day would come when he would become more obviously ill, though his weight loss and pallor had already become noticeable, but he had not wanted to make a public spectacle of himself, either. It was one thing to exhibit weakness in front of family and quite another to collapse in front of the entire assembled Hogwarts population. And poor Poppy. She must believe that he had no faith in her abilities at all, or that he did not trust her. The trouble was, he did have faith in her abilities, and he could not risk having her involved. As for Severus . . . he had not wanted to let the younger wizard know anything of the plan quite this early. He would have to consider not only what to tell him, but what to tell Tom, as well. Clearly, Tom could not learn that Albus was dying, and Severus . . . he would not appreciate such news, but perhaps it was time to tell him.

He felt the tingle that indicated someone had entered the stair below. He thought that Minerva would Floo back to save time, so he assumed it was either a new busybody—no, that was unfair—someone entirely new who was worried about him, or it was Severus returned from his errand to deliver Poppy to the infirmary.

Albus was unsure whether he felt relief or not when Severus opened the door. He must have walked up the moving stair, since he had arrived very quickly.

"Come in, sit down. Minerva went to owl her niece. You may keep me company until she returns, Severus."

Severus didn't sit, though he moved closer. "You told Madam Pomfrey that you knew what was wrong. What is it, Albus?"

"Please, sit. I cannot look up at you like this," Albus said, gesturing to the chair beside him.

Severus sat in the indicated chair and waited.

"I told you that I would find another solution to the problem, one that did not involve your fulfilling the final requirement of the Vow, Severus, and I have." Albus looked over at him, and with genuine regret, he said, "I am very sorry, Severus. There was only one other course I could take. It will free you, my boy." He smiled slightly. "It will free us both in different ways."

Severus blanched. "What do you mean?"

"You see me, Severus. I am old. I am ill. I haven't very much longer, in any case, and therefore, it seemed most sensible to simply let nature take its course . . . perhaps assist it along a bit."

"What? You can't mean—" Severus's gaze fixed on the shrivelled fingers that emerged from the end of Albus's right sleeve. "No, you wouldn't."

"It is most sensible, Severus. I will be quite comfortable for a bit longer."

"That is why you are telling me all you are about the . . . the items, about Potter and what he must do," Severus said. "I thought you were merely . . . I don't know . . ."

"It is so that you will have sufficient knowledge to carry on after I am gone, although Minerva now knows all I know, and she will be here to help you, to tell you more of those objects, what I might not have time to impart before the end—there will be others here for you, as well. And there is more that I will share with you in the coming weeks," Albus said, letting out a weary sigh. "We cannot allow Tom to know what is actually happening, of course; you will tell him that I have an inner ear infection, that Poppy informed you of that, but that you think that I am actually more ill than you are being told and that I am 'losing my grip,' as they say. Tell him that you believe that it is Minerva who is beginning to direct everything, both at school and in the Order. You can make me sound quite gaga, if you wish, but do not say anything that would indicate that I am in any danger of dying. There will be an Order meeting next week, and we will orchestrate that to make it evident that Minerva is my voice now. I do not plan for her to lead the Order when I am gone, but she will be in charge of your activities, and this will set the stage for Tom to find that credible when it happens."

"Albus! She and I are barely speaking! Not to mention that she has no experience in such things," Severus protested.

"She understands the necessity, Severus. And she is angry with you because she . . . because of the Vow and the decision I have made."

"You cannot do this."

"You do not tell me what I can and cannot do. This is my decision alone. I am entrusting its secret to you. If you cannot keep it secret, I am still perfectly capable of Obliviating you," Albus said, sitting up straighter and looking sternly at the younger wizard.

"Minerva—she cannot agree with this!"

"She does not wish it, but she understands that in this, our personal wishes are not paramount. She would never sacrifice the world in order to save me. Nor should you be prepared to do so, my boy. You may sacrifice yourself, if you wish, but no other."

"But you are—you cannot!"

"I am. You will live, Severus, and you will continue in your mission. You will not commit suicide on my behalf. If you were to do that, I would only die, anyway. You know that. This is the only sensible course."

"No, no! It is not!"

"There are things that you do not know, things that I cannot tell you, but there are other factors at work. Believe me, this is best."

"What about Crouch? I thought he was brewing the improved potions for you. Why is he visiting all of the time if not to brew for you?"

"He is brewing me potions, yes. They will . . . they will keep me relatively comfortable. He knows what he is doing, as do I."

"You should at least take the standard potion, Albus. It would give you more time, more time to think about it, consider your options."

Albus closed his eyes and gathered his patience, then he opened them and looked at Severus. "I have considered my options. They were significantly narrowed. I have made my decision. More time would simply lead to folly."

"But Minerva—"

"You must learn to accept this, Severus. It is my choice. It has been made. There is nothing to discuss."

Flames flared green in the fireplace and Minerva stepped through. She glanced briefly at Severus, then turned to Albus. "I owled Melina and I also stopped by to see Poppy for a moment. I told her that Melina would certainly speak to her after she examined you."

"Yes, and I told Severus just now that I have an inner ear infection, combined with the general decrepitude of my old age," Albus said with a smile.

"Hmmph. I do not believe it will take long for Melina and Robert to arrive. We should go up and get you into your bed."

Severus recognised that as a dismissal and stood. "I will tell the Dark Lord whatever you wish, Headmaster, as there is little doubt that he will learn of this incident quickly and want details, but you have not heard the last from me on the subject." He looked over at Minerva, who was studiously ignoring him. "I will not have you die for nothing. We will speak again."

With that, Severus turned and left, disturbed by what he had witnessed and what Albus had revealed to him. He would dissuade him from this course of action. This was not at all what he had intended when he had declared he would not kill Albus and fulfill the Vow. He had thought that he would die and Albus would live. He would finally be free.

But his efforts were for naught, and five weeks later, Robert Crouch emerged from the Headmaster's bedroom and announced that there was no Headmaster at Hogwarts.

NEXT: Chapter 19, Waves break loud on the seashores
Severus continues to recuperate, though his despondency remains with only brief respites. Hermione visits while Gareth is there. (19 April 1998.)
Characters: Hermione Granger, Minerva McGongall, Severus Snape.