Kind of short chapter, but I've been busy dealing with exams, and last minute projects and coursework. Plus I think I'm coming down with something...I have a splitting headache. Gah.
Anyway, kind of lame chapter, in addition to its shortness, but I hope you guys can get some pleasure from it. Hopefully next chapter will be better, and I'm out of school now, so I might update sooner. No promises, though.
Warning: un-proof read...I'll get to it maybe...I just want it up, at the moment.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of it's characters. Or either of the two movies mentioned and their respective characters.
When I finally drag myself out of bed and stumble into the living room, hair mussed and a frumpy t-shirt pulled on to complement my sleep pants, it's to find Edward lying on the couch, curled slightly on one side, staring blankly at the TV screen. He appears to be watching some sort of sitcom or something, and, as amusing a fact as that is, I barely register it as I flop down on the adjacent seating.
He nods vaguely to me in acknowledgement, seemingly caught up in whatever ridiculous drama he's watching. It is then that I notice it: a bag, the corner between his lips, a pale hand holding the rest of it steady. Clear, roughly the size of my two hands lined up beside each other, half drained of a dark reddish liquid.
Blood, I realize with a cringe, my stomach churning with the beginnings of slight nausea.
Evidently becoming aware of my unease, Edward glances down at the bag in his hand absently. "Oh, this," even if he's turned away from me, I can hear the wry smile in his voice. "Apparently I am still too…unstable to be allowed out to hunt. And it was becoming quite the…necessity."
He looks up at me then, and I freeze, a sharp intake of breath passing my lips. The dark black of his eyes is mixing with another, lighter color. But it's not the golden hue I'm familiar with. Rather a deep red wine, swirling into the dark depths. Blood red, a sign of…human blood.
"That bad?" he intends the words as a joke, but his face shows the pain, the hurt, such a common emotion for him these days. Sighing, he pulls himself into a sitting position, loosely cross-legged. "It will go away again…once I start…once I'm back to normal…it will go away…"
He seems to be talking more to himself than to me, his face still turned away. His hair is disheveled as usual, his skin a normal pallor now. From this angle he looks normal, usual…nothing like he has the past few weeks.
I simply nod and get up, making my way into the kitchen. It's too early to deal with this, not even past breakfast.
Esme is making something, mouth-watering as always. Eggs of some sort I guess, as the tantalizing aroma reaches my nose. I hate to impose on her but she says it's no trouble. Being vampires and all, the Cullens don't eat normal human food, and so it's not often that she can put her talent to use. So, whatever, as long as she doesn't mind. The food is amazing.
"Good morning, Jacob," she smiles, pale flesh dimpling slightly at the corners. Sometimes it's hard to remember that she's actually a vampire, she seems so kind and normal and human. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, thanks," I mumble out, still foggy. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet I look through the refrigerator lethargically, pulling out a carton of orange juice and filling the cup before returning the container. The glass is cold in my hand, as I take it to the table sitting silently, a yawn escaping my lips.
"Don't be too hard on him," Esme whispers softly, placing a plate in front of me. Scrambled eggs with various spices mixed in—they smell delicious, to put it mildly. "It's not his fault. He wanted to go hunting himself but…Carlisle thought it best to give him sometime before he's allowed out of our sight."
I nod in vague agreement, forking the food into my mouth. The taste is impossible to put into words…something past wonderful and on the road towards perfect.
"I think Alice was planning on taking him with her and Jasper to the movies or something today," she states, running the pan under the faucet. Is she implying what I think she is?
"You're welcome to go if you want to…the more the merrier."
As I thought. Finishing off the last of my eggs, I join Esme at the sink. I move to rinse the plate off myself, but she waves a sudsy hand, that same motherly smile back in place. "I'll take care of it, Jacob. Why don't you go along with them? It will be fun."
"Why not?" I mutter more to myself than to her, placing my dishes on the counter. "Thanks for breakfast, Mrs. Cullen. Delicious as always."
"You're quite welcome, Jacob," Esme applies soap to the pan, scrubbing with an oversized green sponge. "Have fun at the movies."
She seems oddly insistent. I wonder why? But whatever, might as well go along with it.
When I reenter the living room, Alice is perched on the couch next to Edward, Jasper on her right. She's chirping excitedly about something or other, and it takes me a minute to realize it's the movie. Star Trek from the sound of it.
"The special effects are supposed to be amazing!" her golden eyes glitter with excitement as she babbles at Edward, who's blandly staring at the television screen, not really paying attention to either his adoptive sister or the sitcom.
I can tell she's trying her hardest to cheer him up, that the excitement is obviously faked. Is it really worth trying to fake enthusiasm in front of him, when he can read thoughts and tell whether you really mean it or not? Seems rather useless, really, but it's the effort that counts, right?
"Hey, shortie," I greet, lifting my hand in a half wave.
Pausing mid-rant, she glances over, the grin on her face overly cheerful and edging towards manic. "Hi, Jacob. Are you coming with us?"
"Sure I guess. Star Trek, right?"
"Yep," she confirms, taking Jasper's hand in her right, Edward's in her left, and gleefully making her way towards the door. The latter allows himself to be dragged aimlessly, just taking enough care not to trip over anything. His face remains carefully blank as he slips on his shoes. If only I were the mind reader—there's no way to tell what he's thinking.
It's then I realize I'm still in my sleepwear. "Be right back," I call over my shoulder, sprinting up the stairs to get dressed. Two minutes later, I return, now in jeans and a selectively random t-shirt, a simple dark red.
The three of them are outside, waiting in Edward's silver Volvo, Jasper in the driver's seat. Slipping into the back next to Edward, I slam the door and we drive off.
The movie is amazing. I've never really been one for science fiction, but the special effects are flawless, and what's not to love about an action packed battle between two giant space ships, with all the shooting? And the girl, whatever her name was—Uhura, I think Alice later said—was pretty hot. Fighting and hot chicks…great combo.
I glanced over at Edward a couple times during the film. He seemed pretty ok, looking up at the screen, eyes animated with actual interest for once. The bags are gone from beneath his eyes, and the red isn't distinguishable as color in the darkness.
It's been so long since the last time he actually looked alive, not like some dead, possessed zombie. Though I suppose he really is dead…but that's beside the point.
When the credits finally role, amid the clapping and cheering of the audience—I never really got why exactly people clap after a movie, it's not like the cast can hear them—he actually looks happy. Not forced, mandatory, trying-not-to-make-others worry happy, but actually smiling, semi-relaxed happy. It might not last, but it's a big improvement, very big. A step, finally, in the right direction.
We arrive home at around five or so. On Alice's whim we had stayed to watch another movie, The Proposal, a silly little romantic comedy. Fairly amusing, good for the laughs we all definitely need.
But towards the end, when the humor had been left behind and replaced with the sappy, cheesy romance bit, Edward had gotten a bit of his former sadness back. I could see it in the way he watched the events, so carefully, so closely, with such a sense of knowing in his gaze, of nostalgia. Like he was remembering what it felt like to love and be loved, and being filled with pain all over again, because Bella, the one he had cared so much for was gone, and was never coming back. Never again would he kiss her as the unlikely pair in the movie kissed, never again would he even have a chance to screw it up, and make a mess of things, before rushing back to her with an apology, hushing her tears, and letting her know everything would be ok. She was gone, really, truly gone. Forever...
When did I get so sappy and junk? Honestly, I sound like an idiot.
At the end, his face was carefully composed again, just a hint of his previous light-hearted countenance remaining, mixed with simply a dash of his returning sadness.
There we go again…sappiness galore…
But back to the present. Seth is sitting in the kitchen, eating something that Esme, no doubt, made. Another plate sits beside him, and Esme gestures, indicating it's for me.
Edward looks longingly at the food, and then walks away, out of the kitchen, presumably up to his room. I wonder if he misses being able to eat, being human. Being able to die a after a normal lifespan when he no longer has a reason to live, more like. How dull does life get, when you can live forever? How much does it hurt to see people you care about die and die…right before your eyes, leaving you all alone?
And now Bella's gone, the one true love he had found after all these years.
I bet he's never felt lonelier.