Circus

Chapter 10

"Jimena!" the squeal brought back a million happy memories to Jimena as she walked into Johnny Rocket's; the old haunt of the last five Daughters. Vanessa jumped into a hug and the women laughed and hug like they were teens again, completely ignoring the indignant looks from the other patrons.

"God, look at you! You look fantastic!"

"You look ten times better, as always," Jimena assured her.

Vanessa squealed and hugged her again. "I'm so glad you called!"

"I am too." The two women took their seats at a booth. When she began looking up Vanessa in the phonebook, she hadn't been expecting to actually find her, but when she had, Jimena knew that they had to get together again. She had run from their friendship, though Vanessa didn't know it, and she knew she had to make it right.

"I can't believe you're back in LA. That's so perfect! You said you're working for People magazine, what's that like?" Vanessa leaned in, sipping her coke from a straw.

Jimena smiled broadly. How could she have possibly thought she was happy back in New York, away from sweets-and-sunshine Vanessa?

Jimena told Vanessa everything. About her job, to which Vanessa gasped excitedly and predictably at the celebrity names. About Sarah, to which Vanessa laid an understanding hand on her arm, knowing what it was like to try to move on and make new friends after losing the most important person in your life. About Nick, to which Vanessa asked all the suggestive questions Jimena had never felt comfortable answering to Sarah about but happily shared with Vanessa. They giggled and laughed loudly and whispered and shouted all about men and relationships and being thirty-something and single and celebrities and what New York's like and how LA has changed.

Finally, they began talking about Vanessa job, and Jimena listened, barely keeping herself from tearing up, as Vanessa described how she fought for girls – girls like Tianna and Catty – to live better lives, stay at home, stay in school. Jimena smiled at her friend, who could have been anyone with her looks and brains but instead chose to try to stop what happened to the two of them from happening to other friends of girls who just one day disappeared.

"… And Eve," Vanessa was saying, "I'm not supposed to have favorites, but I can't help but love her – you would too. She's just so… alive. She's smart and wise beyond her years and just wants to break free of everything. She reminds me so much of Serena. I was actually going to see her today, but she and Lillian Killingsworth just – " She stopped suddenly and looked guiltily at Jimena. "I'm sorry; you're back a week and … well that's probably the last name you wanna hear."

"No, it's fine," Jimena said tightly. And it was fine, right? She left him, didn't she? "So… you're still friends with Collin?"

"Yeah… I mean…"

"So, he's doing well? Still… surfing?"

"Surfs, like, every day. He was living in Seattle for a while; I don't know how he survived. But Lillian's a doll. She's really sweet; I think this friendship could be really great for Eve."

"That's… great."

"Okay, we're not talking about this anymore. At all. Ever."

Jimena smiled again. "Thanks, Vanessa."

"So, anyway…" Vanessa began prattling on again, and it didn't take long for Jimena to once again join the conversation.

After four hours of almost non-stop talk and a promise for dinner and drinks the following Monday night, Jimena and Vanessa finally parted ways.

Jimena sighed as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. She could have afforded a much better apartment, with an elevator, but living in her old neighborhood made her feel strangely alive again.

She unlocked the apartment, with much less difficulty as her last, slipped into the dark front hallway. The door was barely closed before she broke. Tears poured from her eyes, as shuddering sobs brought her to the floor. Collin… hadn't she come back for Collin? Hadn't she been terrified he was in danger? And what? He was married? He had a family? A perfect family with a darling little girl…

Jimena reached up to the hall table and grabbed the first thing she could find. She threw it as hard as she could down the hall until it hit the wall with the shattering of glass. "¡Joder!"

And there, on the floor, she sobbed herself to sleep.

A/n: Joder = fuck (it)