I'm really supposed to be studying for finals...but instead I give you this new chapter! :D

Happy OMGI'MSCREWED Day!

"Sir, you really need to calm down and relax. This is why I threw this party in the first place," Alfred sighed as he rested a hand on Bruce's shoulder to stop him from pacing.

Bruce looked around nervously in his tuxedo, the guests giving him weird looks as they whispered to each other. "How am I supposed to relax? The Joker, Harvey, and Crane know who I am now. And you make me throw a fucking party? Alfred, this is just asking for some butt rape."

Alfred chuckled and leaned in to whisper in Bruce's ear, "You're saying that as if it's a bad thing." He laughed and patted Bruce's shoulder before walking off into the bustling crowd.

Bruce gave his butler the most bewildered and appalled look he had ever given. Great. Now even his own butler was setting him up from some gay sex. He would have to remember to pay that man his revenge later.

The billionaire gazed around the room at all the guests, saying hi to some flirty women nearby. It was nearly 3 hours into the party and no sign of trouble. Maybe Joker thought this bait was just too easy and decided to just wait until some other time. Bruce took in a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders, walking briskly to the bar and grabbing a beer to help ease the anxiety. He took a huge swig, feeling the alcohol slither down his esophagus coldly. He was exhausted from the pressure of reluctant preparation and waiting. His mind was never taken away from last week's dilemma at Joker's apartment, the pain still scarred into his brain, leaving a permanent wound.

Bruce's hands gripped the glass to the point of breaking as anger resurfaced. But he was suddenly intervened from acting upon it when he heard screams from the section near the elevator. He jerked his head in that direction, witnessing two familiar men with peculiar guns that emitted a gaseous substance. Harvey and Crane. And this time, not drunk. They aimed their guns at everyone, intimidating the party guests.

"Where's Bruce Wayne?" Harvey yelled out with a smirk.

Bruce started to run off into the direction of his panic room, but froze once he heard Crane's voice yell, "Oh, why there he is! Get over here, Bruce, or we'll spread this Joker gas around the whole joint! …heheh…joint."

Bruce felt everyone's frightened eyes on him, dependent on his next move. He turned around to face the two, calling back, "What do you want?"

"We just wanna have some fun. Let us join this little shindig or we'll gas 'em!" Crane hollered.

Bruce looked at his guests as if to ask for their opinion, noticing that most gave him a stern look and shook their heads. But just one quick suit up and Batman could pummel these two into a pulp. They wouldn't be too much to handle. It was the Joker that worried Bruce. But he was in no sight at the moment.

"…Alright. Just as long as you don't terrorize the guests," Bruce answered back. The people looked at him in shock, whispering things like 'Is he crazy?' and 'They're going to murder us!' Most guests just quickly left right on the spot, hurrying to the elevator. Less people to worry about. At least Harvey and Crane helped with that. Plus, it slightly relieved Bruce's anxiety.

Harvey tried to walk over to a group of ladies to flirt, but they were quick to scurry away, disgusted at the burnt half of his face. Two-Face made a sad face as he took out an eyedropper to pour practically the whole thing over his bad eye. Bruce was unsure of whether to laugh or feel bad. He turned his head to Crane, who was smoking up a storm at the bar.

Bruce suddenly felt a sharp nudge. He whirled around, immediately getting into Batman character and growling, "Joker!"

A man with a lady clinging to his arm stared at Bruce with an awkward frown. "Thanks for the party, Wayne. We'll be sure to visit again," he spoke with obvious sarcasm in his tone. They quickly walked off, and Bruce heard the woman whisper, "What the hell is wrong with him? That Wayne is a complete freak."

This made the night feel even worse for the billionaire. He sighed deeply as he began to walk off into a narrow hallway. He paused for a quick check up on Harvey and Crane, but they were still just trying to enjoy themselves. Bruce stormed off to the stairs to his room, deciding that he didn't care if Harvey and Crane released the gas. The guests were assholes, and he could just beat the crap out of them later anyways.

As Bruce stepped into his bedroom, he heard splashing and the shower running from his bathroom. He sighed, a sick feeling curdling in his stomach as he thought about what he was about to witness. Bruce coughed loudly and knocked onto the wall of the doorframe to inform the person that he was there. But no reaction came. Bruce sighed deeply, rubbing his temples before stepping towards his shower. The steam hid the person occupying it, revealing only a silhouette. But the body structure and occasional grunts made it most likely to be a man on the other side.

Bruce knocked once more, but this time on the glass door itself, causing the person inside to flinch and turn his head. A hand was placed onto the glass and slid it open smoothly; the steam and drips of hot water making Bruce's irritated feelings lessen for a moment. But when it cleared up and the person was revealed, Bruce was all but calm.

"Why hello, Brucey! The water's fine. Care to join me?" spoke the all too familiar voice of the Joker.

But it didn't seem like Bruce was staring at the Joker at all. The scruffy green hair was replaced by tangled brown hair matted to the man's head and shoulders. His face looked almost normal if it wasn't for the scars protruding around his lips and the dark brown eyes that always had a glint of evil hidden in them. It was fascinating to Bruce to see the Joker in the most normal state as humanly possible. Bruce's observant gaze slid down the figure's light body like the shower's water droplets until he saw the erection staring back at him. Bruce immediately snapped out of his daze once he realized how hard he was himself, staggering back a bit as he stared back up at the Joker's smiling face.

"Thought you'd like to see me like this," the madman said proudly, shutting off the water. He slowly stepped out, not even bothering to notice the towel hanging on the rack to his left. He just kept staring coldly into Bruce's eyes as if it would show him the answers to every question in the world. Each step the Joker took closer, Bruce stepped ten feet back. Once Bruce was in his room, he quickly took a glance at the door, plotting a simple runaway solution. But the consequences of a naked Joker running after him in a full house were tremendous.

So he just decided to delay Joker's attacking position until he could find another way out. "…Why are you here, Joker?" he said in the low Batman voice. He was so used to talking like that to the Joker that it was just automatic now.

Joker stopped for a moment to laugh. "Why would I not be here? Front page in the newspaper: Bruce Wayne Throws Party of the Year on Saturday. Honestly, Batsy, I thought you'd be smarter and wittier after I found you out. But you just became even more helpless than you were last week in my apartment." He paused for a gasp and moment of faked shock. "Un…Unless you wanted this! Why, Batsy, I'm flattered. All this trouble just to have me in your room."

That threw Bruce off the edge, his temper causing him to lunge at the other man. They fell to the carpeted floor in a heap, causing a nearby lamp to shake. They scratched and clawed at each other, and it wasn't long before Bruce's tuxedo became quite loose in the struggle. Joker gazed up at the man pinning him to the floor, Bruce's previously gelled back hair now untidy and his clothing just waiting to be pulled off. Joker growled and rolled them over with sudden great force, now being the one overpowering the other.

"Sorry, I call tops tonight, Toots," Joker breathed into Bruce's ear, his lusty breath turning into nibbling teeth as his hands began to undo the billionaire's belt and zipper.

The more Bruce tried to struggle away, the more Jokers' smooth hands coaxed him into arousal. Bruce unwillingly let a moan escape his lips as the Joker tugged his erection free of his jeans. With a grunt, Joker pulled them both off the floor and shoved Bruce mercilessly against the edge of the bed. He threw off the rest of Bruce's clothes and pinned him down, leaning over his ear.

"That's better." He held tightly onto Bruce's wrists, holding him down and keeping him immobilized to his bidding.

By then, Bruce just sighed and gave up, eagerly wanting it in the back of his mind. He lay there, limp and at the Joker's mercy once more, but willingly ready to be taken this time. He was having a horrible day, and he wanted to fuck the bad feelings away. It didn't matter who he did it with at that moment, just as long as he could feel the sweet pleasure just for that night.

"Quiet now, are we? What's wrong Brucey? Did I make you a softie?" Joker purred in between breaths, slowly sliding into him.

Bruce groaned and arched back, feeling the blood pulsing into his cock as their bodies created friction. Knowing fully well that Bruce wasn't going to try to escape now, Joker released his hands, now slithering his own hands around Bruce's chest. He suddenly lurched forward to ram their lips together in a lust-filled kiss. Their tongues danced for dominance in each other's mouth, until Joker suddenly pulled back and lunged forward again, but this time attacking Bruce's neck. The pain mixed in with the pleasure was different, something only the Joker delivered. Bruce returned the favor by digging his nails into the Joker's back to pull him closer, which caused the madman to pause and gasp, tilting his head upwards as he stared at Bruce with a satisfactory grin.

"…S…See? You're…just like me…" Joker breathed, picking up the thrusting pace as a reward.

The faster rate made Bruce claw deeper into the Joker's skin, making Joker moan in pure pleasure. In one big thrust, Joker cried out as he came so hard, Bruce coming shortly afterwards.

They lay there, catching their breaths in each other's warmth. The rest of the night went on peacefully in fluffiness for the two as they were lulled into a deep sleep.

The next morning, Bruce was wakened calmly by the sunlight warming up his body. He slowly opened his eyes with a smile, but then saw the sleeping face directly in front of him. As soon as he saw the scars, flashes of the previous night added to the section of 'mentally scarring' in his brain.

"Shit, not again!" Bruce wept as he crept off the bed, careful not to wake the madman.

Once again, he shamefully went on a scavenger hunt for his clothing, though it was an expensive tux instead of the Bat armor. And now the whole shebang happened in his own room. It just seemed to be getting worse with every meeting.

"Where are we gonna do it next, Batty poo?" a groggy voice chirped back from the bed.

"NOWHERE!" Bruce bellowed angrily, covering his dick with the pieces of cloth.

"Ohhh sounds mystical! Let's go!" Joker teased, wanting to yank those clothes out of his hands so he could enjoy the view much more.

"STFU AND GTFO!!"

"What, sorry? I don't speak such nonsense," Joker egged on with a dumb grin plastered on his face. "Try 'sex me up'. Those kinds of words can work wonders with me."

Bruce's short temper was well passed the boiling point by now, and he was ready to erupt. "Get out or I'll fucking murder your ass!"

Joker casually looked around in contemplation. "Good try, but mix the words around a bit and modify some of it... How about 'Get on your knees, and I'll fuck your murdering ass!'" Joker rolled back in a fit of laughter.

"I'm not going to ass…ask you again! Get. Out!" Bruce hissed as he chucked the clothes in his fists at the clown.

Still laughing, the Joker seemed to enjoy the clothes colliding against his face. "Oh, no. I'm staying. This is my new room."

"No, this is mine."

"I know. I never said you had to move out." Joker crossed his arms, giving Bruce a you're-a-dumbass look. "…Unless Mr. Billionaire wants to let everyone find out who the Batman is."

Bruce threw his arms down, letting out the most frustrated sigh. "I…Goddammit, you fucking bitch…"

After more obscenities being blurted and some pacing, Bruce finally closed his eyes and grumbled, "Fine."

"Great!" Joker jumped off the bed in sudden hyperness, no shame in nakedness.

He almost knocked down the angry Bruce as he hugged him, ruffling up his already-messy hair. Bruce was about to give Joker the punch of a lifetime when the clown suddenly darted out the bedroom door, still no clothes attached.

"Shit!" Bruce sprinted after the other man, but paused for a moment as his mind wandered momentarily. "Wait…did he even bring clothes here?"

As the two ran around the house, Bruce noticed that the place was a mess. But at least everyone had left the previous night. Catching up to Joker, Bruce pounced like a leopard, tackling him to the carpet.

"Gotcha!" Bruce exclaimed smugly as he clung to Joker's legs. But his victory was short lived as he looked up and saw Alfred staring down at them with arms on his hips.

"Ahem." The old man gave Bruce the explain-yourself look.

"Alfred!" Bruce's voice cracked as he quickly stood up straight. "This…this...Joker! How could you steal my clothes? I demand you to tell me where you stashed them, or I'll--"

Joker immediately played along. "Me? You stole my clothes! That's why I stole yours! And you'll never get them back!"

"Damn you!" Bruce punched him in the jaw harder than necessary, smirking smugly.

Irritated, Joker tackled Bruce to the floor, throwing manic punches. Alfred rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Ahem," he interrupted once more. "What do you suppose we do with these two?"

Joker and Bruce froze to pay attention, looking at the direction Alfred was gesturing to. Crane and Harvey lay asleep, tied securely and looking as if they had more than a rough night.

"Oh, them? Yeah, they're a must on staying here with me." Joker replied with a smirk. "…That is…unless Brucey thinks that we can't stay, and his secret identity is blown as all the hard work gets wasted. Why…I think you might be ruined for…let's see…life!" He snickered, giving Bruce his sly victory grin.

As no one else responded, Joker stood up and looked at Alfred, frowning sternly. "Don't just stand there, Jeeves, go get me some Cheerios or something!"

Alfred glared defiantly at Joker, and then stuck his chin up in the air as he briskly turned and walked off, not bothering to say something.

Bruce glared daggers at the Joker, shaking in fury. "I. Hate. You. So fucking much," he hissed.

Joker smiled at Bruce's response, then cuddled into him, nuzzling his chest. "I know."

Guess who's thinking about sex...hint: It's Joker! Frickin slut.

...Alright, alright. It's me.