Short chappie for the simple fact that...there is no sex! -gasp-

And warning: If you are very sensitive and don't like being made fun of, GTFO!

Written at around 1am. I got bored with all the fail.

The next morning, Bruce was abruptly awakened by a hyper Joker bouncing on top of his bed, yanking the blankets off to reveal Bruce's hot bod.

"Dammit, why are you always fucking horny?" Bruce growled as he rolled to his side and curled up, keeping his eyes closed.

"Relax your dirty little perverted mind, Batsy." Joker smiled as he eyed him. "I'm only here to ask a simple question."

"You're not the Riddler. And it's…" Bruce peeked to take a glance at his alarm clock. "…6:24 in the morning…Saturday morning…"

"Oh yes, an early start to make the day longer!" The Joker clapped in excitement, and then suddenly went into a serious posture. "…So… do you know what BJ stands for?" Joker said with a smirk across his face, eyeing Bruce with a hint of lust.

Bruce rolled his eyes and sighed. "…No. No. I'm not going to do it."

"Aww, come on! It's destiny! B…J… Batman and Joker! Blowjob time!" Joker practically whined, hopping up and down and flailing his arms in a childlike manner.

Bruce rubbed his temples, irritated at the annoying start of the day. "You are not my alarm clock…and neither is a blowjob from you…" Bruce rolled his eyes and threw himself off his bed, not in the mood to deal with the Joker's antics.

"Don't make me kick your ass!" Joker spat vehemently, crouching on the bed like he was a leopard ready to pounce.

"Don't make me suck your dick!" Bruce retorted with the same tone.

"Don't make me cuddle you like a baby!" Joker threw back at him.

"Don't make me suck your dick!" Bruce repeated with a more fervent tone.

"Don't make me comically interrupt the sexual tension!" yelled a voice from the doorway.

Harvey and Crane stepped into the room on cue, causing an awkward feeling in the air. The four stared at each other, eyes darting from one person to the next, not making another movement besides that. Eyes mostly loomed onto Bruce, who was the main target, being only in boxers at the moment.

Finally, Joker was the first to break the quiet tension with a boast full of eagerness. "Well I must say that it is a perfect, beautiful Saturday day! We should go on the computer!"

"I need to check my email!" Crane exclaimed.

Harvey took out his coin and flipped it, landing tails. "What the hell are we going to do on the computer all day?" Harvey shook his head in disagreement.

"What's wrong with a little harmless internet fighting and porn?" Joker grinned, faking an innocent voice.

Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes, then tossed some thoughts around. "Well…I'd rather have you all inside on the internet than outside reeking havoc…So…I guess you can… But I don't want any porn or viruses on my business computer!"

"Alright, yeah, yeah. Got it, Chief." Joker saluted with a devious grin.

"If I find any porn or viruses, I'll give you a virus to hell!" Bruce threatened in his raspy Batman tone.

"Someone's not a morning person." Joker sighed, resting his arm around Bruce's shoulder. "Let's see what Jeeves has prepared for breakfast!"

Bruce shrugged off Joker's arm, pulling on a light T-shirt and pants. As he walked into the hallway, he led the other three pajama men on the long journey to the kitchen. Joker couldn't help but open one of the doors in the hallway out of curiosity, revealing some severed women nailed to the blood-stained walls.

"Mmm, I like that," Joker commented before closing the door and running to catch back up with the others.

As they entered the kitchen, they each took a seat by the glass table, the cutlery already carefully aligned perfectly with a creatively folded napkin on each plate. Joker slyly scooted his chair close to Bruce, causing a domino effect of everyone scooting away from each other. Alfred was feverishly working on all of their meals, angry all the while as he flipped the pancakes. Once the butler had finished and reluctantly served their meals, the men began to eat.

Joker quickly scarfed down the food in front of him, never really having a decent meal lately. Crane just munched quietly in a daze while Harvey flipped a coin to decide which foods to eat. Bruce ate eloquently like the billionaire he was, trying to be a good role model to the others.

"Do people take classes to learn how to set tables?" Crane randomly blurted as he stared blankly at the many different forks and spoons aligned in front of him.

Bruce facepalmed. "Just eat the goddamned food."

Once they finished their meals, Bruce led the guys to his study room where there were plenty of bookshelves crammed with interesting books. In the corner, there was a wooden desk with a laptop just waiting to be violated. Joker squealed and hopped into the chair in front of the desk, but was tackled by Crane.

"I need to check my fucking email!" the crack addict yelled as he aimed a bottle of fear toxin at the Joker.

"Relax, hun. Save that fear toxin for later," Joker teased as he sat on the carpet floor. "Now just hurry up so we can get to the…good stuff."

"Alright, alright," Crane succumbed happily as he quickly logged into his account. "Wha…Hey check out this email Bane sent me."

Everyone peered into the screen, reading the text. "hey check out these links. They're fucking hilarious if you type your name in the search bar" Harvey read aloud.

"Alright, let's try this out. Click the first link," Joker demanded.

Crane did as told, revealing a grayish page full of art. Mostly anime. Joker immediately laughed. "Ah…deviantart. Penguin told me about this site awhile ago, but I was too scared to actually check it out."

"Why?" Bruce gave the Joker a curious look.

"Well…let's find out. Put the setting on 'newest art' and type Joker Batman," Joker said with a hint of hesitation, but still smiling.

Once the page loaded, Joker was all but smiling. "OHH GOD, WHY??" he screamed as he jumped back. Everyone else had a look of shock, as if they didn't know whether to laugh, be angry or vomit.

"Why…why would people draw animal versions of us?" Crane whispered as he cringed.

"Why are people associating me with bacon?" Harvey said with a puzzled look.

"And who the fuck are all these emo girls hugging us? Why would I agree to something like this and be happy?" Joker said from the back, hiding behind Bruce.

"I think you and uhh…Dani would be perfect together," Bruce chuckled.

"Fuck you!" Joker was entering rage-mode. "Click the next page before I hurl the breakfast I just ate!"

There was more badly drawn art on the next page, but also fat chicks with Joker shirts from Hot Topic and cosplayers that apparently didn't see the movie.

"The fuck is this shit? Taking a picture of yourself isn't art! This shit belongs on myspace where all the rejects go!" Joker bellowed. He was beginning to shake from anger.

"Looks like you even got the Naruto fans on you," Harvey commented as he pointed to one of the chibi Jokers. "You look very kawaii, Joker-kun!" Harvey bursted into laughter.

This was probably the first time Bruce had ever seen Joker so infuriated. The madman pounced onto the burn victim, clawing at his good face. "Don't make me burn your other half!" he yelled. "Crane, if you don't get out of that site I will cut off your crotch and use the blood as lubricant as I fuck your dead corpse!"

Crane whelped and shrunk in his seat as he closed the tab. Bruce grabbed a hold of Joker's waist and pulled him off of Harvey, keeping his grip tight until he would calm down.

"Go ahead and click the other link," Bruce suggested softly to Crane.

Crane hesitantly did so, taking them to a plain site that didn't have any pictures, just categories.

Harvey slowly got up and stared at the screen. "Oh, click our movie!"

Once they were in 'The Dark Knight' category, they glanced at the descriptions of some of the stories listed.

"Hehe…Joker Cum and Gone…" Joker said with a laugh, calming down.

Bruce shook his head. "Some of these don't even have correct grammar."

"Hahah! Hey look, Joker! Your fangirls have invaded this place too!" Crane sneered.

They skimmed some of the story summaries, Joker shaking his head all the while. "Here's the plot of all these stories," Joker stated. "Chapter 1, Joker meets some chick that is 'different than all the other girls'. Chapter 2, the girl develops a crush on Joker, but doesn't want to show her feelings. Chapter 3, the girl becomes a slut and flirts around Joker. Chapter 4, Joker doesn't kill the chick, but instead falls in love with her. Chapter 5-10, they go through a bunch of teen-angst and the chick gets knocked up. Chapter 11, someone dies. THE END!"

Bruce shrugged. "I guess that pretty much sums it up."

Joker looked down and sighed. "…I'm getting too old for all this…You know what? I'm just gonna go back to bed…I don't even feel like having sex with you, Bruce. Goodbye." With that, the clown prince stood up off the floor and began to sulk over to the door, walking back to his room.

Way to go internet. You made the Joker depressed. Now he's gonna take sleeping pills.

Don't like it? I warned you!