I would say "sorry for the wait" but I'm just not that nice.

Instead, I say "read and review!!" So do it faggot! Oh that's right...reverse psychology...

Enjoy this nice long chapter!

Joker clung onto Bruce's pants, shaking him back and forth. "Come on! HAWAIIII!!!"

Bruce grasped the Joker's forearms to get him to stop shaking him. "No. That's final. If you want to go out, tough luck. If I'm seen anywhere with you 3, it's over for Bruce Wayne and Batman."

"Uhh DURRR!!!" the three amigos spat.

"Well then I'm not doing it!" Bruce raised his chin in defiance.

Ideas and plans spun around in the Joker's mind as he tried to think up of a solution. "Well what if people don't know it's us? We can wear disguises!"

"Hmm..." Bruce could already imagine all of the horrible mishaps of that happening. "No."

"What? That's a perfect idea!" Crane exclaimed. "Surely, a person of your status has enough money to get a few more tuxedos."

Bruce could feel himself getting trapped into doing their biddings again. "Yeah...but...What about Joker's scars? How can we cover that up?"

"I don't know, look up some scar concealing cream on Google or something," Crane stated as he took out a joint.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Alright!" He would succumb, but not completely. He needed to have some control in this. "But Hawaii is out of the question. We're not going. And that's final."

"Whaaaaat?" the other men whined in unison.

"We're staying in Gotham," Bruce demanded. "But...if you guys really wanna go out, we can...go to I don't know…Dorsia or something."

"Ohhhh, nice choice!" Joker cooed. "Let's do it tonight!"

"Yeah, I love Dorsia," Harvey agreed.

"I'm in!" Crane squealed. "Best place ever!"

So Bruce ended up buying some expensive make-up that would cover the scars efficiently, called Dermablend. He was nervous and hating himself for agreeing, but in the back of his mind, he was actually enthusiastic about going to Dorsia. After all, it is his favourite restaurant. Knowing the three villains pretty well, he knew that they wouldn't do anything there that would ruin their idea of fun, so it all worked out. At least, that's how Bruce was trying to picture the scenario. He was feeling surprisingly optimistic about this one.

"We should be ready to go in about 5 minutes," Bruce stated placidly as he walked into his room to find the others trying on some of the tuxedos.

The Joker actually looked pretty high class, besides the glaring eyes with dark circles underneath. The Dermacolor used to cover the scars worked wonders, leaving smooth skin as if there was nothing to conceal. His brown hair was slicked back with gel, and Bruce's tux was a little bigger than his skinny figure, making him look hilarious to try the suit on.

"Wow..." Bruce was in awe. There wasn't much to say except that.

"Pftt...I hate this!" Joker growled in disgust as he scratched at his cheeks like a mangy dog.

Bruce couldn't help but sneer at Joker's misery. "Well you asked for all this. You can't always get everything you want to be perfect."

"Trust me, I know," the crazed clown retaliated. "You should know that as well." He grinned, hinting at something Bruce didn't quite understand.

Bruce threw away the conversation, turning to face the other two. Crane fitted the outfit even less than Joker, but Harvey fit the suit perfectly. Harvey adjusted the tie and grinned at Bruce. "Well...How do I look?"

Bruce gazed up his body slowly, causing a jealous glare from Joker at the side. "Horrible, except for my tux," he finally said with a smirk.

Joker grinned at Bruce's offensive words, jealousy leaving his body through a sigh of relief. If those other two even think about getting to Bruce, then they would pay more dearly than a hobo.

"Go borrow some of Joker's Dermablend cream," Bruce suggested to Harvey.

Harvey scowled and headed to the bathroom, while Joker stood at Bruce's side, laughing. "Niiice, Batsy. Ever since I moved in, you're becoming more like me than before!"

"Shut up! I'm nothing like you! You're a fucking CLOWN!"

"Well you're a fucking BAT!"

"...Touche."

"Heh..." Joker sneered.

Suddenly a voice was heard from the doorway, an old old old voice. "Master Bruce, your limousine has arrived. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, just give us a moment, Alfred. Thanks," Bruce smiled genuinely at his father figure.

"Yes, Sir," Alfred nodded and walked out.

A few minutes later, Harvey walked out of the bathroom. The cream couldn't cover up his eye, and his head basically looked like someone used a vacuum on just his left side. Harvey frowned at the result, but it was the best he could do.

"Ooookay, you are not going out like that, Harv," Joker commented as he laughed heartily.

"Shut up, asshole!" Harvey yelled.

"Sorry, Harvey, but I don't think you can go out in Gotham, anyways," Bruce said calmly, agreeing with Joker. "Everyone thinks you're dead, remember?"

Harvey threw up his hands in anger, "Fuck everyone! I haven't been in public in a year! I don't give a flying shit if people find out!" He clawed off the cream in his rage.

Bruce sighed, shrugging his shoulders as he began to walk out the door. "Alright, that's your choice. Now let's go. We're going to be late."

The other three adjusted their clothes to make sure they were perfect before following the playboy. They all climbed into the limousine, Joker squeezing his way next to Bruce while Harvey and Crane sat across from them. At this point, Bruce was used to all the flirting. He ignored the madman's constant touches and stared at all of them in seriousness.

"Okay, so let's decide what we're all doing together like this…" Bruce had to think of a good alibi. "Crane, you and I could be discussing…"

"Drugs!" Crane exclaimed.

"…No. Discussing about Arkham or something. Joker, your name will be…Joe. And you're an old college friend from Chicago staying with me. Got it?"

"Oooh, Joe! Clever," Joker spat in sarcasm. "I like the name Steve."

Bruce sighed. "Alright, Steve. Now, Harvey…How are we going to get you in without being noticed? I mean, come on. Look at your face…No offense."

Harvey snarled at his remark. "I told you! I don't give a fuck what everyone will say! I just want my old life back!"

"Alright, so be it." Bruce shrugged nonchalantly.

The driver slowed to a stop in front of Dorsia and opened the door for them to get the fuck out.

"Thank you," Bruce said with a smile. "We'll call when we need you to pick us up."

The driver nodded and got back into the limo, speeding off. The men didn't even get a chance to take a step when suddenly someone cried out, "Holy shit, it's Harvey Dent!!!" Heads turned, gasps were heard, and some other retarded noises in the background as well as an orgasm. Harvey was immediately drowning in a pool of people, reaching out for help. Bruce and Joker just laughed.

"Sorry, but you had this coming!" Bruce hollered.

"Yeah, tough luck, dumbass!" Joker chided as they walked inside.

Crane looked kind of pissed and paranoid, jerking his head to try and see Harvey.

"Relaaax, muchacho!" Joker slapped Crane flat on the back. "Your boyfriend will be fine!"

"No, it's not that!" Crane suddenly burst out. "I can't let that Two-Assed-Face take all the spotlight of tomorrow's newspaper!" And then he just took off into the crowd.

"Heh, well I guess that takes care of those two…" Joker muttered.

Bruce gave him a weird look. "Dammit, I'm stuck with you again? Jesus, did you pay those two to leave or something?"

"Nope, it was just fate!" Joker snickered as he latched onto his arm.

Bruce pushed him away, feeling eyes staring at him already. "Don't make a scene, Steve."

"Ah, Mr. Bruce Wayne," the hostess called out with a big grin. "Your table for four?"

"Actually, it's just two now," Joker answered for the billionaire.

"Alright, Sirs, this way please," she stated as she grabbed some menus and led them to a private room on the second floor.

"Wow! I didn't even know this place was available!" Joker exclaimed as he stared at the fancy surroundings in awe.

"Yes, this is Bruce Wayne's private dinner room he asked to be added," the hostess informed. "I'm guessing he never showed this to many people." She giggled.

"Yeah, well I didn't have this room built just for anyone to use," Bruce said as he laughed along.

"Heheh, alright, your waitress shall be with you soon," she added before putting down the menus and walking away.

"Well I must say that this place is very nice," Joker commented, proceeding to look at the decorations. "And also romantic," he added.

Bruce could see his eyes lighting up brighter than the chandelier above. Uh-oh… "Yeah, well it's not supposed to be. It's just a quiet place to talk with other businessmen about company issues while eating a fancy dinner. Not for dates." Bruce's eyes narrowed as a warning.

"Getting all worked up again, Brucey? This relationship is not going to work out if you keep acting this way!" Joker crossed his arms in distaste.

"Hilarious." Bruce scowled. "Now will you just stop with the jokes for one night so I can at least enjoy my meal?"

"There you go again! Ugh, this is so typical!" Joker rolled his eyes.

Footsteps were heard as another young lady walked up to their table. "Hello, I am Stacey, and I will be your server this evening, Mr. Wayne and um…"

"My friend Steve," Bruce blurted. "He's an old colleague visiting from Chicago."

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you Steve," she said kindly. "Now may I offer you gentlemen some drinks?"

"Just leave a bottle of red wine," Bruce replied.

"Yes, Sir. I will right on that," the waitress assured as she walked back out.

"God, I hate how fake those people are," Joker commented as he watched her leave. "May I take your order? Would you like something to drink?" he imitated in a high-pitched voice. "And that God-awful fake smile! At least smile like you mean it!"

Bruce grinned. "Now who's getting all worked up? Besides, it's their job to do that. They get paid for putting on smiles and serving people."

"How come I don't get paid then?" Joker crossed his arms again as he pouted.

"Because your idea of smiles and service are different than that of everyone else in the world." Bruce shook his head.

"Not yours," Joker hinted with a smirk.

The waitress came back with a bottle of wine, carefully pouring the red liquid into their clear glasses. "Now are you ready to order?"

"Uh, yes. I'll just have my usual order," Bruce answered.

"Alright." She scribbled down into her little notepad. "And you, Sir?"

"Hm…" Batboy didn't even give me a chance to look at the menu. "Rib-eye steak. Rare," Joker demanded. Hopefully it would be vague enough.

"Okay, and would you like the mashed potatoes on the side and gravy?" the waitress filled in the blanks of the rest of the order.

"Yeah, sure, thanks," Joker uttered quickly. Hurry up, Lady! Get out so me and Brucey can spend some quality time!

Joker didn't really care for the meal. In fact, he wasn't really that hungry. His only focus was Bruce once again. The waitress gave Joker an offensive look before walking off, wondering what the guy's problem was.

Bruce eyed the Joker angrily. "What was that all about? Can't you just try not to act like your crazy self for one hour?"

"Nope." Joker stuck out his chin. "It's what defines me. I'm iconic when it comes to crazy! You're iconic when it comes to angry moodiness." He laughed.

"Well…" Bruce rubbed his temples in thought. He knew he was right, despite the way he put it. "How about if you don't act like yourself for just tonight, I won't act all angry. But this is just for tonight. Deal?"

Joker shrugged with a smirk. "I can't see why not."

"Alright," Bruce put on his best smile. "Toast."

They lifted up their wine glasses and toasted, drinking half of the cup. Just then, the waitress came back with their food.

"Enjoy," she said, setting down the plates of steaming hot food and walking away happily.

Bruce had some sea urchin ceviche with pork loin. He cut his meat so perfectly, making Joker want to be that piece of pork going into Bruce's mouth. Bruce noticed Joker's look while wiping his mouth sexily.

"What?" Bruce questioned after swallowing.

"Nothing, just enjoying the view," Joker laughed.

"Well aren't you going to eat your meal?" Bruce pointed his dinner fork at Joker's steak.

"Alright, fine." Joker was tempted to tear at the meat like a mangy wolf, but remembered Bruce's words. He didn't want to ruin the night for either of them.

Bruce was surprised to see the Joker actually attempting to eat in a civilized manner. Although he had quite a bit of trouble cutting the meat and ended up stabbing it instead. Joker growled in disappointment and looked up at Bruce. "What?" he snapped. "Now look who's staring."

Bruce laughed. "Here." He leaned over and cut the meat. "Better?"

"Eh…" Joker averted his eyes. "So…" He had to find something to talk about that wasn't implying anything evil or sex-related…which was hard for him. "Obama, huh? What do you think of him?"

Bruce chuckled. "I think he's what our country needs. But it's going to take a lot to stabilize the economy fully, and he can't do it all in one term. He's in for a lot of heat in the next few years."

"Really?" God, this is so boring. "I think he's a dictator just waiting to emerge, plunging the United States into chaos and self-destruction!"

"…So you like him, huh?" Bruce spoke after eating another piece of pork.

"Yeah, I think he's great," Joker said, imitating Bruce by eating a piece of his own steak.

The rest of the night went alright, aside from the awkward conversations. Bruce paid the check, and they walked out of the restaurant, full and satisfied.

"I thought that was really nice," Joker whispered as he clung onto Bruce.

"I thought that was really cliché," Bruce said as he pushed him away. "And you're not adhering to the deal, Jo---Steve."

"Deal's off, Hot Pants," Joker declared, clinging onto him once again.

Bruce sighed as he led them down into an emptier street where the feeling of paranoia lessened. "Alright, so that means I still get to be ol' angry Bruce."

"And I get to be ambiguously crazy, gay Joker!" Joker exclaimed as he leaped up into the air.

"Yeah…" Bruce sighed, shaking his head.

Without warning, Joker practically pounced into Bruce, kissing his lips hungrily, as if the dinner wasn't sufficient for him. Bruce saw this coming, but returned the kiss as a thank you. Bruce survived the night without any threats or revelations of identities. Well, besides Harvey and Crane.

"Wha…Wait…" Bruce breathed after breaking the kiss. "What about Harvey and Crane?"

Joker looked up angrily. "Oh screw them! It's just you and me now, Brucey."

And with that, Joker kissed him once again, causing Bruce not to notice the Bat signal glowing dimly in the cloudy sky.

Idk if this chapter was boring to you, but that depends on your attention span.

Points if you catch the Slipping into Entropy references! :D

Points for what, you say? Bragging points, that's what!