I'm still alive??? Holy crap, I haven't updated this thing for yeaarz!

Hahah, well here's a short crappy chapter for you to eat up and review.

The next morning, Bruce woke to find Joker crying at his bedside.

Bruce rubbed his eyes, not sure if this was reality or fanfiction. "Joker? What's wrong?"

Joker looked up at his partner, mucus and tears smeared all over his pretty face. "It's…It's just…Well…Oh, God! I can't deal with all this crap anymore!" (Emphasis on vulgar language adds drama FYI)

"What crap? Did you clog the toilet again, lulz?" Bruce said as he sat up.

"…No, it's not that! …I think the fandom's fallen!" Joker finally burst out. "We are last year's news! Now there's only the shitfests of Twilight: New Moon and Watchmen, while our fandom is just a bucket of piss left over from a drunken old man five years ago! I mean, all the really awesome artists just stopped with the Batman art."

Bruce rubbed Joker's back for comfort. "Relax. You're just overreacting. Besides, I'm sure the Batman: Arkham Asylum video game will do us justice. Now stop being such a fag."

"Heheh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Joker wiped some of the excess fluids off his face and sniffed. "…But it's just. We don't get anymore fanmail! I probably won't even be in the next Batman movie! Stupid Heath! I bet he's laughing his ass off in heaven. He's probably all like 'Hahaha, good luck living without your Heathus muther f*ckers!!'"

"Okay, okay. Calm down. How about a…nice…big…breakfast to make you feel better," Bruce said sympathetically.

"Well…I was hoping for make-up sex, but okay."

Meanwhilez…

Two stunning ladies strolled along the streets of Gotham. They were identical twins, both with long, silky blonde hair.

"Come on, Mary. Let's give our cousin Brucey a nice family visit," one of them said in a voluptuous voice.

"You got it, sis," the other replied with a smirk.

Back at Wayne Manorrrrr…

"So…about that make-up sex…" Bruce whispered with a devilish grin.

"Finally, took you long enough…" Joker complained, eyes showing he was ready.

Joker sauntered slowly towards Bruce's room. "Lemme go get that dress you bought."

He opened the door to find two women leaning against the doorframe.

"Ah! What the hell?" Joker yelped as he jumped back in shock.

"You don't remember us, Brucey?" the girls said in unison.

Bruce stared back at them in confusion. "Remember? I have never seen you two ladies before!"

"How could you forget your twin cousins? We're Mary and Sue!"

Joker's eyes widened in realization. "My God...Bruce! We gotta get out of here! It's attack of the fangirls!"

The two men began to run down the hallway as fast as they could, opening the door to one of the main living rooms. But the two girls just stood waiting there.

"I can heal your scars, Jokeyyy!!" Sue said in a loving voice.

"No, fuck you!" Joker spat as he threw a knife at her.

Sue reached over at the knife, completely unaware of the blood gushing out of her arm. "ZOMFG I got the Joker's knife!!!1"

As Joker and Bruce proceeded to run, Joker looked back at the girls with a puzzled look.

"How come that knife isn't slowing that stupid chick down?"

"They're fangirls, remember? Nothing can slow them down. Come on, let's just get the Batmobile."

When they reached the Batcave and opened up the Batmobile, the girls were already inside.

"Holy fucking shit, why does this keep happening?" Joker cried out, ready to blow their heads off.

"You asked for us, Joker," Mary said simply. "Our fangirl senses felt that you were calling for us."

"FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUU-" Joker took out his gun, aiming it at the two.

Bruce grabbed onto Joker's arm. "Joker, don't! I can't let you kill."

"Oh please? It's for the good of the world out of the kindness of my heart!" Joker said with a smile.

"Ooohhh, yay! He does have a soul! I told ya, Mary!!" Sue screeched.

Bruce sighed. "On second though, go ahead."

Joker stopped before pulling the trigger. "Hold the phone…I have another idea…"

The next morning…

Bruce read the paper with delight. "Hey Joker, check this out from the headlines this morning: Two girls committed suicide because of claim that Joker would not kill them."

Joker grinned with pure satisfaction. "I knew not killing them would be more advantageous. They really provide a good laugh once dead."

BTW, Watchmen is awesome. Nuff sed. Mary Sues, however suck. And yet they are EVERYWHERE!!! Watch your back.