I Who Should Not Be

Chapter 26

Onika was alone.

In the dark, she sat alone and cold, with her arms wrapped around herself. Before her were two mirrors. One had a bright gold frame that sparkled in the black, the oval of silvery glass winking happily at her. The other was framed in dark tarnished silver, the glass spotted and dark. She was afraid to look into the mirrors, not sure what they would show her.

When she thought she heard Arya speak, she looked up at the bright mirror and edged in front of it. When she looked, she saw a room with little light. On a bed was her own pale body, covered by many blankets. Sitting nearby was Arya and Murtagh. The elf stood and said something to the dark haired Rider, and Onika was irritated when she couldn't understand it. She heard the sounds, but not actual words, like the elf was behind a thick wall.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Onika."

Onika jumped. Those words she had heard clearly. What had been different? Was it because she had been listening so hard this time? Or maybe…

When the elf stepped out, Murtagh reached out and pulled her arm out from under the blankets and held her hand, looking carefully at her skin. Onika followed his eyes and saw that her skin was starting to turn that sickly grey color that her arm had when her brother had cut it off…

'What's happening to me?'

"I wish I knew if you could even hear me when I say something. Is there… Is there a way to get you back here? Is there a way to guide you back to us? To me?"

She heard his sigh and watched as he looked from her hand to her motionless face. His own face was so very pale, and the skin under his eyes was dark. He wasn't taking care of himself, choosing to stay with her instead…

She looked away for a moment toward a doorframe that she had seen when she had first opened her eyes in this strange place. It was big and heavy looking, carved with runes that she couldn't read and pictures of many things she didn't know. It smelled like her family had, and of Murtagh. Where the door should be there was a black and grey swirling fog that seemed to be always pulling at her. It scared her, and she hadn't gone near the door at all these past days.

"Onika, if you… If you're dying, please… don't fight because of us. I don't know what it is like to die, but… I have heard that it's a long road to wherever you are going. And where the journey may lead you, let this prayer be your guide. Though it may take you so far away, always remember your pride…"

He edged closer to her body, his free hand touching her face.

"Take this prayer… Take it with you and let it guide you back to me. I'll wait forever if I have to."

Onika gripped the mirror's frame and pressed her face against the glass, shouting as loud as she could to try to get him to hear her.

"I'm right here, Murtagh! I'm here! I haven't left! I'm still here with you, just like always! I'll return! I will return!"

Onika jumped when she heard another voice. She released the mirror in front of her and turned to look at the dark mirror, her eyes wide with shock.

There in the spotted and old glass stood her family. All of them. Her father, mother, brothers and sisters… And at the front was her Grandfather Bull Chaser. The old Wolfborn was smiling and holding out a hand. She stumbled a step toward them before her voice came free.

:Father Male Father? How? How are you here?:

The old man smiled and sat, his joints creaking as they had in his life.

:Pup has to choose.:

:Choose? What do you mean?:

:Will you choose your past, or the future that you could have? Or will you give up and let yourself drift away into the realms of Nothing?:

Onika looked at her family, many of them smiling or wagging tails, eager to see her again. Part of her wanted to turn away from all that had happened and run into her grandfather's arms. She would never be parted from them again. But then…

She looked to the image of Murtagh sitting with her still body, his eyes growing panicked as he felt her neck. He shouted something and she heard other voices.

:Am I dying?:

Bull Chaser smiled and nodded, looking over toward the door.

:You have to choose, and quickly. If you don't, you will fade and it will be as if you never were.:

Onika looked at the family she had lost and the new one she had found, her heart torn.

:I know how hard this is. Know this, pup. No matter where you go, we will always be with you.:

Onika looked at her grandfather and smiled. Suddenly she turned away from both mirrors and spoke a short verse, trying to keep to a tune that Arya had taught her.

And where the journey may lead me
Let your prayers be my guide
I cannot stay here, my family
But I'll remember my pride

With that, she ran to the door and ran into the swirling fog. If she had looked back again, she would have seen her grandfather looking at the door she had gone through, a pleased smile on his old face. He knew her choice, and he knew that she would have a long road ahead of her.

And where the journey may lead me
Let your prayers be my guide
Though it may take me so far away
I will remember your my pride

AN

The lyrics that are in this chapter are a small piece of the song Shadowlands, from Lion King. I love that musical. One of my favorites.