I Who Should Not Be

Chapter 27

"Somebody! Get in here! Eragon! Arya!"

In his head, Thorn's voice rang out in fear and anger.

What is happening to the Rider?!

'She's dying! I can feel it! No! She can't! I won't let her!'

He had allowed Thorn to hear him even as he thought, clambering up onto the bed and raising one fist and bringing it down on the Wolfborn's still chest. He had felt for her pulse when he had noticed her face was cold, and had felt nothing. She may have already been dead, and he didn't know until now.

He heard the shrieking of the youngest dragon outside and his chest constricted in panic. No! He wasn't going to lose her, not like this! Not ever!

He opened his fist and put it over her heart and thought for a moment. He could easily put more strength into his hand, then push down. He would make her heart beat that way…

'But if I do it too hard or for too long, I'll hurt her…'

Eragon burst into the room and saw Murtagh and Onika, then saw Onika's dead looking face.

"Murtagh…"

Outside, Mishee's shrieks gained volume. They could hear the young dragon thrashing in physical and mental pain. The walls shook every time her tail struck the building.

Eragon grabbed his brother's shoulder and was thrown roughly into a wall with a single shouted word. When Murtagh's eyes met Eragon's, the younger man felt a shiver of fear.

Murtagh's face was twisted into a mask of grief, madness and desperation. The black eyes that glared at him glittered with an almost fevered light. Eragon wondered briefly if the dark haired Rider had lost his mind even while Mishee was in the process of losing hers.

"Brother, she's dead. She's been gone for while it looks like."

"No! She was fine a minute ago! She was fine! I heard her breathing!"

Eragon watched as his brother concentrated a shot of pure energy in his hand and forced it into Onika's chest. Her back arched and her arms flung themselves out violently, making her head jerk awkwardly to one side. A grunt was forced out of her, then she was still again. Murtagh uttered a wordless cry and tried a second, third, and fourth time. By then, Arya and Orik had come with Angela. The strange woman took a slow step forward.

"Murtagh. You need to stop now."

Murtagh went still, staring down at the motionless Wolfborn. His voice was even when he spoke.

"But… But I was… I thought she wouldn't leave. Not really…"

Angela took hold of the dark haired man's shoulder and steered him out of the room, speaking in a gentle mother's voice.

"It was going to happen, Murtagh."

"But… The dream. She said that she would be back."

Angela heard the faint note of desperation in his voice. She had known, as had the others, that she had been dead for the past five days. She had lost her battle while Murtagh had been sleeping. When they had told him of her death, he had gotten angry at them, and gone into the room that held her body. He had spoken to the corpse, held it's hand, brushed it's hair… Arya decided that he needed to work this out in whatever way his mind was doing it, and had placed a spell on Onika's corpse so that it would not decay. Even with that, the color was going bad in her skin.

Angela had been rather touched by Murtagh's actions. He had not left Onika for more than a moment since he had heard of her death… He hadn't slept, barely ate, barely spoke to another living person.

Angela got him to his room and sat him on the bed. The sheets and blankets were clean, as was the nightshirt that lay on the pillow. Hot water stood ready for him to wash in. In her best 'I am now Mother and you will listen to me, young man' voice, she addressed the still mute Rider.

"Now, wash up and put that on. Get some rest. I'll see to Onika. Nothing will be done without you."

He nodded slowly, then stood and walked to the basin, his gait like a sleepwalker. Angela made sure that her feline companion stayed at the door to keep the Rider inside, then swept down the hall to see to the fallen Rider.

………………………….

:Pack Female?:

Murtagh called out softly, as if she was hiding under the bed or in the closet. He sighed and stripped, bathing quickly and putting on the soft linen sleepshirt. It smelled nice. Clean. Onika was always very careful to keep herself clean. And her things. Always neat and clean. He had once teased her by making a wonderful mess of her things, and she hadn't spoken to him for a week…

He let out a weak laugh.

Had she really been gone for that long? She couldn't have been. He had heard her breath and felt her heartbeat.

The silence in his room was deafening. He needed something to make some kind of noise. Anything! Even Angela's infernal cat!

He started to hum to himself as he lay in the dark, trying not to think of any words to go with his tune, but they came to him anyway.

Where has the starlight gone?
Dark is the day
How can I find my way home?

Home is an empty dream
Lost to the night
Onika, I feel so alone

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare

When will the dawning break
Oh endless night
Sleepless I dream of the day

When you were by my side
Guiding my path
Onika, I can't find the way

You promised you'd be there
Whenever I needed you
Whenever I call your name
You're not anywhere

I'm trying to hold on
Just waiting to hear your voice
One word, just a word will do
To end this nightmare…

Murtagh felt a burning rage in his heart, but not toward Onika. It was for the ones who had lied to him. The ones that had let her die without him. The ones that made her be alone all this time! He smiled slightly as Onika's face came to his mind, like she was laying next to him in the dark. She was angry too. She had to be.

How did he know?

Because she smiled at him.

She smiled…

A/N

Wow, writing this really depressed me. I had something similar happen (a breakdown, I mean) and I drew on that for this… The piece of song is Where Has The Starlight Gone? from The Lion King. I exchanged the word 'Father' for 'Onika' though.

Please read and review. The end is coming soon, I think. But don't assume you know what is to come, for you may be sorely mistaken!

Hugs! Have a cookie!

~Deception'sChosen