-next day-

Eci and Alex: -dressed up as SS Officers-

SS Lieutenant: "Right, you two, take the contents of hut 4 to the chambers" *in German*

Eci: -whispers to Alex- "Where's the German dictionary?!"

Alex: -whispers back- "I have no idea!"

SS Lieutenant: -clears throat- "Officers?" *In German*

Eci: "Uh, Ja, Sir!"

SS Lieutenant: "Right.. Off you go then.." *in German*

Eci and Alex: -walk off-

Alex: "Eci, can women even become SS Officers?"

Eci: -thinks- "Shit. Oh well, it worked. You got the spare uniforms?"

Alex: "Yeah, but I still don't think this is going to work."

Eci: -stops dead- "Shit. Alex, I now think you're right and that we should run away."

Alex: "Why, we been caught?"

Eci: "Worse. Much, much worse."

Alex: "What can be worse than getting caught and put in the gas chambers?"

Eci: "uh.. I don't know, something!" –trying to drag him off-

Alex: "Eci? What's up?"

Eci: "JUST COME ON!" –panicing-

SS Officer: -walks up behind Eci and Alex- "What's going on here?"

Eci: "GAH!" –jumps onto Alex-

Alex: "Wha-" -manages to stay upright-

SS Officer: "wait.. Eci?!"

Eci: -looks at him- "Ehhehe.. Brett.." –bright red-

Alex: -immensely confused-

Brett: -staring-

Alex: -glaring at him-

Eci: -attempting to kill herself without being noticed-

SS Lieutenant: "What's going on here?" *in German*

Brett: "Uh… she.. he.. um.. saw a mouse?" *In German*

SS Lieutenant: -suspicious- "hmm…. Right…" *In German*

Eci: -clears throat- "Hum.. he means.. I saw.. a Jew?" *In Very bad German*

SS Lieutenant: "Oh dear god! Are you ok?!" *In German*

Eci: "uh.. Ja?" *In..German?*

Alex: "Anyone else hear that banging noise?"

Everyone: -turns round-

Robin: -streaking- "FREEEEEEDOOOOOMMMM!!!!!"

Monica: -chasing Robin, also nude- "ROBIN! YOU STUPID COW! FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!! DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING!!"

6 very strong SS Officers: -chasing both of them, fully clothed-

SS Lieutenant: "What.. the hell…" –turns back round- *In German*

Eci, Brett and Alex: -are gone-

Kateri: -spotted smuggling weapons- "Ah. Shit." –runs away dropping the guns-

SS Lieutenant: -staring- "I need a fucking drink... A bloody strong one at that…" *In German*

-Later, after they managed to round up Robin-

Brett: "So.. why are you here? And you wanna go save Robin?"

Eci: "Not with you I don't." –arms crossed-

Alex: "Is anyone going to explain anything?"

Eci: "I would, but that would involve acknowledging that guy" –pointing at Brett-

Brett: "You'll have to acknowledge me sometime, Eci."

Eci: "NEVER!" –walks away and sits down a little further from Brett-

Brett: "You just acknowledged meeee"

Eci: -throws a brick at him-

Brett: "oww.."

Eci: "Anyway, Alex, how are we gonna rescue those two?"

Robin: "Rescue who?" –sat next to Eci-

Eci: "Wha- How-" –extremely confused- "WHAT THE DUCK!?"

Alex: "eh…"

Monica: "YAAAAY! ALEX!!" –glomps Alex-

Alex: "aah! What the fuck!? What are you on?!"

Brett: "How the hell did you get out?!"

Eci: "DON'T ANSWER THE BASTARD!"

Robin: "weeeell…"

-flashback-

Robin: -pissed off at being caught and clothed-

Monica: "so then boys" –addressing officers- "fancy a party that will be fun of lesbian porn?"

SS officers: -drueling- "yes please" *in german*

Robin: "just put on these blindfolds while we get ready…"

-end flashback-

Robin: "..And we just walked out!"

Eci: -shellshocked-

Brett: "uhh….."

Alex: "Monica.. Get off…"

Monica: "NO!"

Eci: "anyway….. How about we get back to.. Hogwarts or something." –starts drawing a circle-

Brett: "I'll help!" –starts helping draw the circle-

Eci: "NO! NO! STOP INFRINGING ON MY CIRCLE!" –throwing bits of chalk at him-

Brett: "LOVE ME!"

Eci: "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU SIDWAYS TILL YOU CAN'T FUCKING WALK!"

Brett: "As long as you do it!"

Eci: -recoils- "UGH!"

Alex: "Let me mash his brains and feed them to Furfur" –still held down by an over loving Monica-

Eci: "If you've forgotten, you fucking cheated on me with fucking Parkinson! FUCK OFF!"

Robin: "Woooah, no-one ever told me that!"

Eci: "FUCK OFF ROBIN! MY ARGUMENT!"

Brett: "I didn't mean to! I was drunk!"

Eci: "No-one can be so drunk they get off with a fucking slug-pig-bitch!"

Robin: "Yeah. Even I wouldn't go there."

Eci: "PROVES MY POINT!"

Hitler: -walks round the corner- "THERE THEY ARE! GET THEM!" *In German*

Eci: "FUCK! YOUR FAULT!" –pointing at Brett while finishing the circle-

Everyone: -dives into the circle-

Hitler: "FUCKING JEW BATS!" *In German*

-Back at Hogwarts-

Brett: -attempting to grope Eci-

Alex: -kicking Brett in the face-

Robin: -passes out-

Monica: "ROBIN!"

Eci: -glaring at Brett- "Monica.. What's up with Robin.. Normally it's me who passes out"

Monica: -shaking Robin- "Wake up. Wake up! WAKE UP, ROBIN, please…" –crying-

Eci: "Fuck…" –half picks Robin up and puts an arm over her shoulder, then half drags her off to the hospital wing-

Monica: -crying uncontrollably-

Alex: "come on, Monni. She'll be fine."

Monica: "I'm not so sure, Alex."

Alex: "She will, whatever's up. Come on, you need to lie down or something.."

-in the morning-

Draco: -in the headmasters seat- "Why on earth is the school so quiet?" –looks towards Kateri's seat, which is empty- "huh…" –notices the empty seats at the Slytherin table- "Ah. That Explains it."

Shizuma: "What explains what? Oh, and stop talking to yourself" –eating-

-in the Hospital wing-

Monica: -is asleep on Robin's bed-

Madam Granger: "hmmm…." –goes to wake Monica up-

Eci: -running through the doors- "Move, first years! I'm bigger, I get to go first!"

Madam Granger: "Quiet please!" –shaking Monica-

Monica: "Ugh." –hitting Hermione's arms-

Hermione: "Wake up! For gods sake!"

Robin: -half awake- "Don't… speak like that to Monni…" –starts choking-

Hermione: "eeep!" –running around in little circles-

Eci: -patting Robin on the back to try and help-

Monica: -slips off the bed and wakes up- "Huh?"

Robin: "food…"

Monica: "ROBIN! YOU'RE AWAKE!" –hugging-

Hermione: "OF COURSE!" –points at Eci- "Go get some food!"

Eci: "What?! HELL NO! You do it, missis healer-person! Savvy!"

Hermione: -glares and runs off-

Brett: -in a bed next to Robin- "Eeeeciiiiii…."

Eci: "FUCK OFF!!"

Robin: "be quiet…"

Monica: "You heard her! Shut up!"

Alex: -pops head round door- "Eci? You coming to breakfast?" –spots Brett and glares at him as if a dog shit on the carpet-

Eci: "YES!" –walks off, hitting Brett on the head as she goes- "Hope you get concussion, bitch face!"

Monica: -kisses robin- "I'll be back in a bit" –smiles-

-In The Great Hall-

Monica: "I'm worried about Robin…"

Eci: "Calm down, she'll be fine… I mean, Miss Uppity will force feed her if nothing else.."

Kateri: -rounds the corner at high speed looking rather wild, carrying way too many weapons of mass destruction-

Eci: "Ehh…"

Alex: "Oh bugger"

Kateri: "YOU BASTARDS LEFT ME IN NAZI FUCKING GERMANY!"

Eci: "Shit"

Kateri: "I've had to sit tight for fucking YEARS! Jesus CHRIST!"

Eci: "Uhm.. Sorry?"

Kateri: "BETTER FUCKING BE! Though I did get some awesome weapons out of it…"

Alex: "And on that note…" –walking into the Hall-

Kateri: "I'mma go torture Draco with these…" –grinning-

-Later, in Potions with Draco-

Draco: -has various severe injuries- "Sit down, shut up and fucking listen.."

Eci: "To what? You? Ha."

Draco: "FUCK YOU!"

Eci: "NO THANKS! I.. uh.." –falls asleep-

Draco: "Now the lesson will be quieter.."

Monica: "Don't count on it!" –walking in supporting Robin-

Draco: "For fucks sake. No wonder Dumbledore let Snape kill him. Fucking nutty school."

Alex: "Right… I'll take Eci up to the dorms" –half carrying her-

Robin: "We got a free period next, yeah?"

Monica: "Yep!"

Draco: "You have no free period till you've finished this lesson. Make something non-dangerous. A giggling potion or something."

Robin: "I'm sick. I can be let off, yeah?"

Monica: "And I'm a carer right now!"

Draco: "UGH! Fine! Go away!"

Robin: -limping away- "OWNED!" –tries to run and falls flat on her face-

Monica: -sweatdrop- "Rooobin…"

-in the dorms-

Monica: "Robin, help me get Alex and Eci together."

Robin: "Eh? Why?"

Monica: "Cause they're too dense to do it themselves."

Robin: "Fair enough. To the Room of Requirement!"

-outside the RoR-

Robin: "Make the squariest room possible! Shit! I mean Scariest!"

Monica: "AHAH! You suck!"

Robin: -D:-

Monica: "Just kidding, lovely!" –hugs-

Robin: "Awww" –hugs back-

Monica: "You want me to go get Eci and Alex?"

Robin: "You get Eci.. I'll go find your brother"

-5 minutes later-

Monica: -pushing Eci along- "You have to help! It's like the ungodly love child of Davy Jones, Satan, Hitler and Tinkerbell! You have to do something!"

Eci: "ehh.. Come on.. my brain's not working right yet…"

Monica: "In there! It's in there!" –pushes Eci into the RoR and locks it-

Robin: -dragging Alex- "Quick! Brett's making a move on Eci!" –shoves him in the room-

Eci: -banging on the door- "I HATE THE DARK, BITCHES!!"

-next Day-

Robin: "you think it went well last night? For them I mean?"

Monica: "I hope so" –smiles- "You've changed since hospital, Robin"

Brett: -storming down the corridor-

Robin: "Who ripped you knickers off this morning?"

Brett: "FUCK YOU!" –pissed off-

Monica: "well, Lah-de-dah!" –excessive hand movements-

Brett: -throws something at Monica-

Robin: -now in crutches, wobbles after him- "Damn you people!! Insulting Monni while I'm lame and can't do anything about it!!"

Eci: -holding hands with Alex- "What's up with Robin?"

Monica: "AWW! You two are so cute together!"

Eci: -puts a pair of nerd glasses on-

Monica: "Kay, now you just killed it and spat on it's grave" –smile-

Eci: "Screeeew you! I've just set up half a ton of fireworks to go off outside the Gryffindor dorm. And I did it properly. No accidents."

Alex: "You left Furfur near them"

Eci: "SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!" –drags Alex off to a safe distance-

Monica: "Eh?"

Eci: -from behind a barrier- "HIDE! HIDE IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING LIVE!"

Monica: "OH! Right!" –grabs Robin and runs to shelter-

Draco: -in his office- "Why do I get the feeling something terrible is going to happen?"

Dumbledore's portrait: "Because you have worse students than I did!"

Draco: -looks out of the window and sees the huge amount of fireworks- "Oh. Oh. Oh."

Furfur: -is gnawing the fuses-

Draco: "Fuck."

The Gryffindor tower and half the school: -explodes in multi-colour glory like some kind of exploding sparklepire-

Robin: -rubbing her head- "I think we may have overdone it a little…"

Eci: "that. That was not supposed to happen. I swear to whoever religion's right's god, I only put half that many fireworks there. If that."

Draco: -slightly charred- "How'd I guess? Fucking fantastic! The school's a fucking ruin! Great! Most the students are dead! Brilliant!"

Eci: "uhh… I.. You know what, screw it."

Draco: "Do me a favour. Get the fuck out, and don't come back for a LONG time. Okay? Give us time to recuperate. You're sending me fucking nuts. 4 kids are sending me madder than the whole fucking school did to what's-his-name."

Eci: "I'll just be leaving. Can't be arsed."

Robin: "Accio Belongings"

All their stuff: -is there-

Draco: "Thank you, Robin. Now, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SCHOOL!"

-outside the grounds-

Robin: "Well. That went about as well as can be expected."

Eci: "I swear, I didn't mean for that to happen. I only put a box at the most outside."

Furfur: -almost burned to a crisp- "Graah.."

Eci: "Oh. Of course."

Robin: "Bad demon?"

Eci: "FUCK THAT!" –drawing a circle round Furfur- "He's going back to wherever the fuck he came from."

Furfur: -dragged back to hell-

Alex: "Where are we going to go? I mean, we sort of lived there…"

Eci: "LOOK, I'M SORRY!"

Robin: "No worries we can all go back to mine, my mum won't mind at all" –smiles- "Just be prepared when we get there"

Alex: -hugs Eci- "Don't worry Eci it's all fine"

Eci: "Robin, what do you mean by be ready?"

Robin: "Just be, okay?"

Again, sorry.
We'll make fun of something not so offensive next time.
Hermionie belongs to JK