AN: SEVEREST apologies for the delay!! The Man discovered that I still
had script-style stories up and suspended my ability to upload until
today. Damn The Man.
Thank you to everyone who has left such kind reviews- you all kick ass.
Sally was wrapping up her paperwork to do with the Hammerstein case when they entered the building. She was exhausted, drained physically and emotionally. She had had to run down to Ourbucks to get coffee several times, and was quite sure she couldn't handle another damn thing before she got some sleep. Unfortunately, she had forgotten about her impending houseguest.
She turned from her monitor to stretch, and found herself looking into the eyes of a grubby child who looked far too much like Wufei. For a moment, she scolded herself for being away from China for too long- the people must be starting to 'all look the same,' like she was some ignorant tourist. But the defiant set of the girl's jaw told her otherwise. Slowly, her gaze rose to Wufei's tired face.
"Sally, this is Wumei."
"Hello, Wumei," Sally smiled as best she could. She knew she had agreed to do something, but couldn't quite remember what at the moment.
Wufei looked down at the girl, and began to speak in Chinese.
"I am not...stupid," said the girl angrily, in stunted English. She turned to Sally and nodded politely. "Hello. It is...a joy."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, too," Sally smiled, but she could see Wufei frowning.
He turned to Sally, "Thanks for taking her for tonight. I'll find other accommodations soon."
"It's ok, Wufei..." Even though it wasn't. Now she remembered that she had promised to take on a girl- this girl- for the night. Who the hell was she, some cousin of Wufei's? But that was no reason to take it out on- WuMEI? An odd coincidence... Then again, in some families, prefixes or suffixes of names were passed through generations. She smiled at her again and dredged her memory for the Chinese she had spoken as a girl. "My name is Po Sally. Wufei asked if you could stay with me tonight. I have a spare room you can stay in."
Wumei blinked, her confused gaze going from Sally's blond hair to her blue eyes, and finally back to her genuine expression of kindness. At last, she looked at Wufei, who was gathering paper that had gathered on his desk during his absence. It would be rude to say what she wanted to say to him in Chinese if Sally could understand... "Thank you, that's very kind of you," she said at last, giving a small bow.
Sally smiled. Wufei returned, looking more uncomfortable than he had when they'd walked in. "Yes. Thank you, Sally. I... She has all her things. I'll come get her in the morning?"
"Why bother? We'll meet you here."
"Er..." Wufei switched back to English, hoping to thwart Wumei's attempts to understand at least a little. "She... isn't enrolled in a school or anything..."
"Well, how long is she going to be here?" Sally asked. "You could get her enrolled in a day or two..."
Wufei shook his head, cutting her off. "We'll work something out in the morning." He looked down at the distrustful teenager at his hip. "You'll be ok with Sally?"
"I'm not a child," she said with ill-concealed impatience.
Irritation flared on his face. "Very well. Thank you, again, Po. You know where to reach me." Sally blinked as he fled the cubicle. Whatever dynamic was at work here, it was a more complicated one than she could figure out. She looked at the girl in her messy school uniform, her eyes like tired hollows and her lips thin.
With a sigh, Sally stood and grabbed her bag. "Lets go home."
Riding 'home' in her car was unlike any other ride of my life. City buses were noisy and slow, and they smelled like shit. The only noise in her car was Colony Public Radio chatting quietly away to itself, and with the windows securely rolled up, I couldn't tell that it was almost winter.
She didn't say much, and I didn't try to either, although there were certainly things I wanted to know. Like, who was she? And why would another person be kind to me, without any compensation? That cemented an idea in my mind: If I could make myself into a good houseguest, maybe she wouldn't give me back to Wufei. The thought of him and his unreadable thoughts made my skin prickle. I shivered as she turned off the engine, and she gave me a sympathetic smile that I tried to return.
Every building in the colony was made of light materials- aluminum, synthetic glass, sheetrock. Logically, it made sense- they didn't have unpredictable weather or a moving planet beneath their feet, and all their resources had to be transported from far away. Still, I couldn't help expecting every step to send me through the building's floors. We went inside an apartment building, styled to look as though someone had put actual thought into the architecture. To my eyes, it was just gaudy. Already I missed the simple stone walls of the town where Genji Ma and I had lived. I boxed my own ears, making it look like I was just rubbing them to keep them warm. Genji Ma was dead to me, as I was to her.
Sally didn't notice, and lead the way up to her apartment. Apologetically, she said, "I wasn't expecting company. It may be a little messy," and opened the door.
Cautiously, I stepped inside, and looked around. The walls were a cheap, chalky white, but the floor was wood planking, or something like it. Thin carpets gave the large room a sense of division, a red mat tying together a wooden bench with a television set and a couch with red cushions into a living room. Under the dining room table, what looked like a carpet from home neatly kept all six chairs in line. Even the kitchen had its own hand woven rug. I turned slowly, taking note of the antique lamps, the shelves with photographs and other knickknacks, and the simple but elegant sheer curtains- also red.
Behind me, Sally removed her coat and opened a small closet beside the door to hang it in. "Do you want me to take that?" she asked.
And then I realized I was still wearing Wufei's jacket. With the faintest of blushes, I quickly slid it off and handed it to her. Though her face remained impassive, I knew she could see the path that marked it as his. Self-consciously, wondering what she thought, I lifted my pack up again and moved further into the room. Now I could see that the couch was rumpled, its cushions not aligned. A pile of magazines under the coffee table looked ready to topple. Her dining room table had a few clean napkins left on it. This was messy? It could have been worse. My own room often was.
"Here, I'll show you your room," she said, walking past me to a small hallway leading away between the living and dining rooms. I followed, and she flipped on a light to show four doors. "This is the bathroom," she said of a room to my right, turning on the light to show a room that was equally white, but with blue features. The soap dish matched the shower curtain, and I wondered who bothered to make sure they did. "This is the linen closet," she said, tapping the door beside it. "You can get clean towels, extra blankets, whatever you need. Don't worry about asking- just make sure they go in the laundry basket in the bathroom." Then turned to the door at the end of the hallway, half open. "That's my room, and this is yours." She pushed the door open, but even before she turned on the light, I could see the 'sun' setting, casting orange reflections off the building next door. At a nod from her, I went inside, clutching my bag.
Pale green bedding demurely gave a daybed a welcoming feel. Simple prints of flowers on the walls matched the coverlet, and a small television sat in one corner beside the closed closet. A messy desk with a computer on it stood along the wall with the door, and I looked at her questioningly.
"This is my office, when I'm here," she said wryly. "The room's all yours for tonight, though." She looked me up and down, and made her face a polite mask. "Would you like to shower while I make dinner? I have clean clothes if you need some..."
I didn't want to take more charity, but there was barely anything in my bag that hadn't been there the day I came home from 'school' and had my argument with Genji Ma. Reluctantly, I bowed. "Please..."
Sally nodded. "Alright. And dinner?"
My mouth watered involuntarily and I swallowed. The woman spoke Chinese. She didn't look Chinese, but she had slipped her shoes off at the door, and her eyes had the faintest of tilts... "Pork buns and water chestnut," I blurted out. "With shrimp rolls, and soy sauce." I smacked a hand over my mouth, horrified. Greedy, ungrateful girl!
Sally blinked, and then smiled. "I think I have some of that..." She smiled kindly, trying to reassure me. "I know- Western food can be strange. I'll see what good old-fashioned traditional stuff I can put together. I'll get you some clean clothes and you can leave what you're wearing in the hamper." I watched go, my hand still clamped over my mouth. At home, I would have been yelled at and scolded, told I couldn't have the food I had demanded. What was wrong with this woman? How long had she been away from the culture? Shaking my head, I hugged myself and went into the bathroom, emptying my bag onto the counter. Eyeliner, lip gloss, a flimsy plastic comb, my wallet with my school ID, a phone card, and the bus pass that had allowed me to ride to and from school at a discount. My eyes filled with tears yet again, and I realized that so many of these things were now useless. Angrily, I shoved them back in the bag, and jumped when a knock came at the surprisingly solid door.
"Here are the clothes," said Sally, smiling gently. I took the pile she offered, holding them away from my chest so they wouldn't be soiled by my filthy clothing. "I've left more on your bed for tomorrow."
Mutely, I nodded, and she left. Almost reverently, I set the clothes on the counter, not daring to look at them too closely. A sharp click locked the door, and I turned to the shower itself. It looked fairly average... but I was old enough to know that the taps in every house were unique. Taking a deep breath, I took a chance and turned one. Water plummeted out of the large faucet extending over the bath, and I waited a moment to test its temperature. Still cold. I turned it off and tried the other one. After a moment, that felt warmer, so I let it run, and then toyed with adding cold water until it was just right. It splashed into the tub, escaping down the drain, and hurriedly I jammed the plug into it. Immediately the sounds changed to those of a filling bath. With a sigh, I sat back on my heels and looked around again. A row of bottles stood on the edge of the bath, and I studied them for a moment before selecting one.
In a whisper, I sounded out the brand, then the words beneath it. Body lather? What did that mean? I put it back and picked up the next. Revitalizing hair... shampoo! That was what I wanted! Relieved, I put it where I could reach it and stood. Now came the part I dreaded, every single day. It was the reason I had removed the mirrors from my bedroom. Now, I turned away from the glass that covered nearly the entire wall, and unbuttoned my uniform.
My hands shook, but the bath was filling quickly and I didn't have time to waste on insecurities. Sealing off my thoughts, I pulled the blouse over my head and let the skirt fall to the plush bath mat. Without facing the mirror, I stepped into the bath and sank below my reflection's view.
At last I could relax, and I leaned back to dunk all of my hair under the water. I stuck my head under the running water before shutting it off, and reached for the shampoo. Already I felt a thousand times better than I had since before leaving home. The sweat and the dirt melted off, leaving my skin feeling fresh again. And the shampoo! It smelled like ginseng, and I closed my eyes while I worked it through my hair. It was tangled and dry... I washed and rinsed it three times before I was satisfied, and then, not knowing what else to try, used the foam to wash the rest of myself. After playing with the various knobs on the tap, I got the water to come out of the shower head, and, after yelping and leaping away from the first jets of icy water, stood under it and just let the water cascade over me. It was better than crying, better than being a child in Genji Ma's arms. The water didn't ask me for anything, it simply existed and offered its comfort.
When I began to feel guilty for taking so long, I turned the water off and opened the blue curtain. Only to come face to face with... myself. The happy smile fled, and I stared at my reflection, pale and dripping on the far wall. There were my ugly, wide hips; there were my minuscule breasts. There were the scars from my childhood: needle marks and archaic vaccine scratches. I shivered, feeling like a science experiment- a limpid, paralyzed frog like the kind the advanced Biology classes took apart.
Hurriedly, I wrapped the towel around myself, cursing my own foolishness. Why torture myself with what I would never be? It wasn't enough that my nose was a button when it should have been long and thin, or that no matter how much I weighed, my face remained round. No, I had been cursed to not only be less than beautiful, but to be downright repulsive to men and boys alike. ...except that one man who had landed me in jail, and, hence, here. That was it, I decided, toweling my hair dry. I simply was not meant to be loved by men. Not in this lifetime.