a/n: thanks for all the reviews last chapter! this chapter felt like it took forever to get figured out. hope ya'll like it.

i don't own twilight- well i've got a copy of the book and the movie, but the story isn't mine :(

The room was spinning. Bile was rising in my throat. My head was throbbing. The sunlight was burning my eyes before I could even open them. I wanted more than anything to cover my head and not move for the rest of eternity, but my rolling stomach wasn't going to allow that.

I forced one eye open. Ugh, not a good idea. I cringed, closing my eyes tightly and shaking my head slightly. Oh God, that was worse. Fuck. Wait a second where the fuck am I. I opened both eyes this time. Shit, this was not my room. But I didn't have much time to dwell on that as my stomach lurched. I spotted a trash can near the bed, grabbing it the excess alcohol from last night exited my system.

I flopped back on the bed and looked around me. Fuck. Seriously, this was not my room and the only thing I had on were some dude's boxer briefs. I had way, way too much to drink last night. I could hear a shower running behind the closed bathroom door. I needed to get the fuck out of here. Now.

I sat up slowly, my head pounding and stomach still unsettled, scouring the room for my clothes. I quickly spotted my dress laying across the top of the dresser. I jumped up to grab it. Fuck another bad idea, my head fucking hurt plus I guess I was still pretty drunk. I stumbled forward catching the side of an chair and righting myself quickly but without any grace. I grabbed my dress and pulled it on, dropping random hook-ups boxer briefs. I did not need any mementos of last night.

Mentally I readied myself for the walk of shame, looking around the room once more for my panties. No luck. This would not be the first time I'd done the walk of shame. Nope, not this girl's first rodeo. Though typically, I hadn't actually done anything to be ashamed of. I often crashed on my buddy Jacob's couch after a night of drinking. There was something magical about that couch, I never woke with a hangover when I slept there. Of course his roommates thought there was more going on. They nicknamed the walk of shame the Bella stroll, it seemed I drug myself out of their apartment at least one morning every weekend. In reality Jake and I had sex once and were were both sober at the time. It was bad. We tried dating. It was bad. So friends it was.

Damn, I wished I had woke up on Jake's couch. There's something comforting about knowing where the hell you are when you wake up.

There had to be something worse than "walk of shame". Something that said, I have no idea where I am and I don't have my fucking underwear either. Maybe something like "hike of remorse" or "promenade of ill repute". No, I got it "amble of degradation". That's what I was going to do.

Fuck, I'm a fucking moron.

I put my hand on the door knob. Shit. Shoes. I'd worn a pair of Rose's Jimmy Choo's. I needed those shoes if I came back without them Rose would fucking kill me. I looked back over my shoulder quickly. Oh, there, under the bed. I scurried over quickly grabbing the shoes and running back for the door.

My hand was on the handle of the door when a velvety smooth voice came from behind me, "Don't you need these?" I hadn't even noticed that the shower had stopped. I turned, my fucking stomach fell to my feet when I saw his emerald green eyes. Oh Shit. This did not fucking happen. His bronze hair was still dripping from his shower, he reached his hand up and shoved his wet hair back as he extended his other toward me, hooked over his long index finger my bra and panties dangled.

I grabbed them, tore the door open and bolted.

"Bella, wait," he yelled after me. Coming out into the hall, in a pair of boxer briefs like the ones I'd woken up in and wife beater. Fucking sexy as all hell.

I ran into the elevator, slamming my finger on the L button repeatedly.

Once the doors closed I leaned against the wall of the elevator, tipping my head back and breathing deeply. After a moment I pulled my panties back on. Fuck. It occurred to me that at least I knew where I was now. Since I knew he was with Emmett and Emmett was at the Hard Rock, like us. When I the elevator stopped, I hit the button for Rose and my floor.

Holy fuck, I slept with Edward Cullen last night.

Not that sleeping with Edward hadn't been something I wanted. Years ago I would have given anything to have sex with Edward. He was never willing to take it that far though. It just was never "right" in his words. Fuck, apparently I was just never drunk enough before.

The elevator stopped and a couple in their early thirties got on, I felt their eyes roving over me. I was looking my Saturday night worst. I was a fucking mess, shoes and bra still hanging from my hand, hair everywhere and matted with feathers, which I really didn't understand. Luckily they got off one floor later I'm sure trash talking me as soon as the doors shut, hell it's what I would have done.

Something seriously fucked up had happened the night before, but the details were hazy at best. With some of the low-lights of the night before coming through clearer. Rose and I's very loud, off key and slightly inappropriate performance of Jason Mraz's Geek in the Pink on the streets of Vegas, was one of those. OK, probably more than slightly inappropriate, but if there's an appropriate way to sing the line "she can get her toys out of the drawer" I'd be impressed. Besides it was Rose and I and that choreographed little number is one of our drunken night trademarks. And if I am remembering that clearly Emmett loved it.

Right, Emmett had been there. When did that happen? For the life of me I couldn't remember calling Emmett or running into him, just him being there and his friend from the pool too. I shook my head slightly trying to jog my memory. No luck. I guess that's what having like five shots before five o'clock and continuing to drink well into the night gets you. I hadn't been that drunk in a good long while and part of me wanted to vow not to do it again, of course the devil on my shoulder was telling me what a good time I am when I'm drinking. Damn you little devil, you did this.

As the elevator reached my floor an unsettling feeling fell over me. It dawned on me that Alice would be here soon. Did Alice know Edward would be here this weekend? Lately it seemed like Alice might try and engineer something just like this. When she'd moved in with Rosalie and I she started mentioning Edward at every opportunity, always trying to remind me of the wonderful times Edward and I had spent together. It was odd, since Alice had been nearly as upset and hurt as I was when Edward left. None of us knew, not even Emmett knew what he was planning.

I had an early morning practice the day he left and had drove my rusty old pickup straight over to the Cullen's afterwards, parking in their long driveway and letting myself in. His mom, Elizabeth, wasn't home, I thought that was odd. His dad, Carlisle was the head doctor at the hospital in town and worked a lot, but Elizabeth was a teacher like Alice's and my moms, so she was off for the summer. I found Edward in his room, his largest camping pack out and clothing strewn across his usually spotless room. His back was to me, as I flopped myself onto his bed, laying on my stomach my head propped on my elbows, "You and Emmett going camping this week?"

"Bella." He turned quickly, startled by me. Edward's eyes closed and he reached up and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, when his eyes opened they were full of sadness. "We should talk."

I was instantly anxious, that was not a good start to a conversation. He put down the shirt he was holding and I followed him down the two flights of stairs in his parents large Victorian home. He continued walking out the front door till he was standing beside my truck. "I'm going to Europe," he stated, his voice was off, his tone was almost cheerful but it just wasn't some how.

"Your what?"

"I'm gonna backpack through Europe for a few months," he shrugged like it was no big deal.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. Well, my parents are taking me to the airport in Seattle this afternoon."

I felt like someone who had hit me in the chest. "How long have you been planning this?" Edward never did anything spur of the moment, it took him 5 minutes to decide what to eat at McDonald's, a half an hour to decide to buy a pair of jeans, there was no way he just up and decided to go to Europe for a few months.

He shrugged again, "I've been thinking about it for awhile, I guess."

I couldn't decide whether to be hurt that he was leaving or angry at his nonchalance, his next response would decide that. "Why?" I asked.

"Bella we've been together since junior high. I don't really think it's fair to either of us to go off to college feeling tied to each other. You know?" He paused as if he expected me to agree, I felt my lower lip quiver and my eyes sting with the forming tears, but I couldn't say anything. Hurt it was. "It will be better if this is it. I'll leave now, you'll be in California by the time I get back, then I'll head to New York," he shrugged again. It was a gesture that I'd never really thought much about, I hated it now, it seemed too casual to be tied to this conversation. He pulled open the door of my truck, "I need to finish packing."

"What?" I breathed.

"I need to move forward, and I can't if this," he extended his index fingers and waved his hands between the two of us, "is still holding me."

I could hardly breath, I was couldn't think, I heard the words he had said but they really didn't make any since. I climbed into my truck, he leaned in and brushed his lips softly against mine, which were still gaped open slightly in shock. I should have argued him, questioned him, something, but I didn't. He shut the truck door once my body was clear, then turned back toward his house. I turned the key in the ignition, my trucks engine roaring loudly to life as I stared straight ahead in a daze.

"Bella," I heard him yell, I turned my head looking in the direction he'd gone. He was standing midway to doorway, his eyes still sad but the corners of his mouth forced up into a half smile. "Be safe," he called, as he always did when parted company. Then he turned and ran the last few yards to his door, disappearing into the house, I threw my truck in gear and drove straight to Alice.

After hours of confusion and attempts to console, Alice sent Emmett over to the Cullen's to try and see what the hell was going on, but no one was home. Alice was nearly as crushed as me then, but I knew that she and Edward had been back in touch several months after I'd left for school. He'd ended up at UW the second semester of his freshman year and often spent weekends in Forks, so him and Alice had sometime together and were now friends again. I was pretty sure they were in contact on a regular basis since she'd moved to Palo Alto with me, but she never said anything about it.

I swear if Alice had known anything about this she was going to burn in one of the circles of hell, the one reserved for traitors. I wish I could remember which one it was, hell I wished I could remember a lot right now.

When I got to the door of our suite I realized I didn't have my key card, or my cell phone or my wallet. I mentally wrote it all off as a loss, there was no way I was going to ask Edward for any of it back. I knocked on the door hoping that Rosalie was awake, it was nearly 11, so there was a chance.

On the second knock the door flew open, my hand still hanging in the air. "Oh my God, Bella!" Rose gasped out, grabbing me and pulling me into a tight embrace.

"Ugh, Rose. Too fast, too tight." I extricated myself from her hold and ran for the bathroom, barely making it as my stomach was still protesting about the vast amount of alcohol I had consumed the night before.

"Where the hell have you been?" Rosalie asked from the doorway. "I was so fucking worried."

I groaned, and stumbled toward the sink. "What the fuck happened last night?" I turned on the cold water, cupping my hands and tossing water on to my face. Taking several sips of it I swished it around in mouth, then spit it out.

"You got fucked up."

"No shit."

I brushed my teeth before we walked back out the the lounge area. I dropped myself on to the couch, laying my head back and closing my eyes, while Rosalie, ever graceful, lowered herself to a chair. "Bella I was seriously about to call you dad. You left your phone in the limo so I couldn't call you."

"Limo?"

"Yeah, we went with Emmett, Jasper and the Edward in the limo to downtown?"

"I slept with Edward."

"What?" Rosalie shouted. I winced at her volume.

"Well I'm assuming. I woke up in his underwear."

"Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have let you go with him. How dare he?" Rosalie was seething, her low hiss dripped with malice. Edward had better watch out cause a pissed off Rose was not pleasant. She could hold a grudge like no one else and already hated Edward from how hurt I was when she first met me. She'd never even met him, but she was a truly loyal friend.

Rose would do anything to pull me away from thoughts of Edward, to make me whole and happy again. Eventually I was happy again. It took time but it happened. And if Rose ever caught me being too introspective and she figured thoughts of Edward were to blame, she'd call me out. "The Edward again?" she'd ask, before pulling me out to do something, anything, un-Bella like. Usually involving vast amounts of alcohol, choreographed dancing and crazy dares.

The Edward, was like an unwanted disease as far as she was concerned. Something I had caught and she was helping me to get rid of. And it got to the point where, The Edward, while not gone was something I could ignore. I was happy, not quite whole, but happy.

"I feel sick," I groaned.

"Is it the alcohol or The Edward your hungover from?" I growled at her. "Let's go get something to eat, Alice will be here soon."

"I should probably get dressed." Rose eyed me up and down, cocking one eyebrow at me she nodded. Hurrying into the bathroom I showered quickly, and dressed in the denim skirt and tank that Rosalie had placed in the bathroom. "Am I going to dress myself at all this trip?" I asked when I came out of the bathroom.

"Not a chance," Rose replied.

The two of us headed down to the casino level and found a place to eat. I ordered a huge plate of pancakes and hash browns, hopeful that all the starch would help get my stomach back in order, with Alice arriving soon, I knew we'd have an busy day ahead of us. As we waited for our food, I decided to risk the subject of what had happened last night, asking Rosalie, "What the fuck happened?"

"Bella, I am so sorry," she started.

I shrugged, "Worse things have happened I guess." I laughed loudly, "I can remember a few failures of the buddy system that were my fault."

Rose blanched, "Let's not go there." She paused, collecting her thoughts, then she let out a sigh, "We were totally fucked up."

"That much I've figured out," my head was lolled to the side, resting on my hand as I leaned my elbow on the table.

"Yeah, well. I don't really remember everything, but, Emmett and Jasper were playing poker and we were hanging out. Then Edward came back from the bar and wanted to talk to you. And I said no, you were drunk and I thought you might regret something in the morning." Rose's eyes had been glued to the table, now she looked up at me sheepishly attempting to smile slightly. "Understatement?" I let out a short laugh. "I yelled at him, told him to stay the fuck away from you, but then Emmett was telling me it was OK, and you seemed OK with it. Then it was like way later and Emmett called Edward and he told me you were OK that you'd gone back to the hotel. Bella I'm so sorry."

I laid my head back on the seat, "I fucked Edward Cullen." I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face and the heat that flowed through my body.

a/n: so glad bella seems a little happy about the fact she slept with edward, i would be :)

starofthenight819 i tried to get into a little more of what happened between edward and bella, but i think anymore of that will have to come from edward, his pov should be back next.