*Author's Note*: I do not own the 'Twilight:Saga' nor the wonderful Characters in it! XD All of them belong to The talented Stephanie Meyer. Enjoy.

I was too late…to stop him…to tell him I was still here… to late to let him know…that I will never forgive him for the horrible choice he made…even though it was my fault he did it…Too late…

Chapter one: …Pictures, pain and memories…

It had been four long and cruel months since the day he left. Just when you would think the pain and guilt would fade away bit by bit , it only seemed to grow, making it harder each day. Odd? Tell me about it. Charlie bugged me about going back to Renee, seeing how depressed I was, but I refused to every time. Even if I was to go, it would make no difference, now would it. The dark and empty whole I had when he first left, was now twice as big and twice as hurtful eating me from the inside out. And the worst part about it all, was that my sun wasn't around to stop it. Not only did I loose the reason for exciting but I lost my hope, my warmth…my healer. I had nothing now, giving me nothing else to worry about…

I woke up screaming, as I dreamt of the same nightmare over and over. Poor Charlie gave up and ignored the terrifying cries, knowing that it would most defiantly happen again. The bright sun made its way into the room, as well as the cold. Shaking the horrible thoughts of not waking up the next morning, I got up. Goose bumps immediately covered my exposed skin making them paler then it already was. While searching for a pair of sweats and a sweater in the small room, I noticed a dusty old shoe box hiding itself perfectly underneath my bed. An old pair of shoe's? No. after all I've been using the same shoe's for the past year and a half. Picking it up I took my seat back on the bad, placing it gently in my lap. It was sort of heavy, so it could have been a pair of shoe's or something. I waited for a good long moment, still trying to figure out what could possibly be in it, but nothing came to mind. Slowly with caution, I lifted the top and placing it to the side. They were nothing but pictures. Pictures of me and Jacob that is. I couldn't breath then. My tears slowly coming to a break as they filled my eyes. My hands shook once I reached in to grab the stack of photo's, not sure if this was the smartest thing to do at the time. Smiles. Nothing but smiles. And as much as I tried to remember the feelings that filled the picture, it was nothing but pure pain. Pain and guilt, with a bit of hatred. Not for my friend, but for myself. The shaking of my hands made it harder to concentrate on the memories in front of me. Charlie then knocked on my door starling me for the moment. The photo's in my hand and the box that was in my lap, all fell to the ground in front of me. Scattering over my bedroom floor, while my tears broke free.

"Bella…Bella? You alright?" He asked from the other side of the door. I couldn't answer at the moment, because if I did, I would break down completely. Quickly I began wiping my salty tears from my face, leaving stain on my cheek.

"Listen…Its been four months now, and I don't think you should keep yourself locked in this house, especially your room. Don't you want to get into some trouble or hang out with some friends while doing it? I know Jacob is pretty upset with you, but maybe he's just waiting for you to talk to him…" As Charlie continued his speech I got dressed throwing on a pair of dark blue jeans and a grey turtle neck sweater.

" You guy's used to be joined at the hip, what happened? Bella I really think you should talk to the boy…or at least try." Taking a deep breath in, I released and spoke up.

"dad I-" Just when I was about to say something like it not my fault or when he's ready to talk he can return a call. the pictures that were lying on the ground, caught my eyes. My hatred for Charlie began to kick in when I realized that what he was saying would probably be the answer to most of my problems. I sighed and continued my unfinished sentence.

"Uh…I will, soon, just not now." My voice cracked a bit, but it was barely noticeably for people who were really paying much attention. "…I'll drive up there sometime next week"

Opening the door with a slight smile, it faded. Charlie's I don't trust you look chased it away of coarse.

"Okay Bella…Well I have to get to work, I'll be home a bit late so if I'm late for dinner, just place it in the microwave." He waited for some sort of response and I nodded, giving him the 'okay' to leave. I watched as he made his way down the stair case, and listed as the door slammed behind him. I was relieved a bit, but worried at the same time knowing that me confronting Jacob face to face was soon to come. Making my way back into my room I sighed. Asking myself questions like 'will I be ready then' and 'will I even have the guts to do it?' made me feel like a complete fool. Like a worm, crawling its way back underneath a rock. I bent down toward the pictures that lied on the ground, pushing a stand of hair behind my ear. How ironic was it that every single one was face up. I remembered every moment, every memory, every smile…Every word. but the one that caught my attention, was the one that caused me the most pain. I looked away for a moment, trying to catch my breath before looking back at it. Slowly picking it up I smiled.

It was a picture of me and my best friend covered in oil.

Memory…

"Bella what are you doing?" My sun chuckled. I made my way inside the so called 'garage' stumbling a bit as I pushed away tools here and there.

"I'm trying to get to where you are" I said, pushing things around as I continued. "But its such a me-". Slipping on something, black I was cut off while getting the wind knocked out of me. Barely opening my eyes I noticed Jacob dropping the tool in his hand and making his way toward me.

"Bella are you-" before we knew it, he was lying next to me, with a stupid look planted on his face. "…okay?

I chuckled not in the mood to get up. Jacob laughed along as we looked at each other.

"…What are we lying on?" I asked feeling the slime in between my fingers.

"That…That would be oil, though I'm not sure how that got there." He chuckled. I gave him a 'Are-You-Serious look' before glancing at my hand. He laughed even more.

"That's not funny…" I mumbled watching him as he struggled to sit up. The back of his faded red T was covered with oil I couldn't help but laugh once again. Jacob looked over his shoulder, lifting a brow as he watched me.

"What?"

"Your shirt Jake! Its covered in oil!"

"Oh yeah, well lets see yours" Standing up, he held out his hand, offering me some help. With a smile I took it.

"well how do I look?" I asked doing a 360 with a bright smiled planted on my face.

"Very…dirty" he chuckled. We continued to laugh for a while, enjoying the moment with as much fun as we could.

"C'mon Bells, lets get you cleaned up". With that we both made our way toward the house, with The thought of Edward, completely gone and out of the way.

End of memory…

I felt the tears welling up inside as I placed the last photo in the box before closing it off and placing it back under the bed. A weak smile appeared on my face, yet no matter how much I tried to think of it as something good, it continued to hurt....

This is my first fanfiction so please dont blame me for the bad grammer or what ever mistakes i made. If you have any questions or requests on what you want to read in the future, fill free to send me a message, email me or post it in your Review! i hope you enjoyed and thanks 4 reading, bye luvs!-Tynee