Okay, before we get started, anyone thinking that this story is slamming Yuki Kure, or me being a regular bitch and being angry, or me giving up on La Corda, don't. I love La Corda, I really do, and this is a PARODY. Which means joke.
As in supposed to be funny.
Anyone who doesn't think it's funny, please let me know why but be nice about it, I don't want to hear "I don't like it cause it sucks!" because 1, that's mean, who wants to hear that? And 2, it's useless, what I'm I supposed to learn from "you suck!!" except that some people think I suck?
Which I already know, I was informed not two weeks on this site.
ANYHOW, enjoy, I hopes it makes ya laugh.
Also, Acerbus, props, not me, Acerbus came up with the idea, I just decided to write it down.
Title: Coming to a Conclusion; A Parody About Ending La Corda d'Oro, Once and for all.
Pairing: Oh we will see… ho ho… (aka, it's a surprise hon.)
Rating: K, because aside from fan girls using fan-made curse words, nothing bad happens. With perhaps the declared murder of one manga-ka.
Warnings: um, barely any cursing, maybe some inside publishing jokes I'm hoping other people are going to get, and perhaps the mentioned murder of a manga-ka.
Disclaimer: Nopes, I don't own La Corda. And neither does Yuki Kure, some gal who wrote the various plotlines for the game owns it. Unless she sold it, in which case Kodansha owns it or somtin…
Rant: Lol, that is all.
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Somewhere in the Western Mountains of North Carolina.
--
"Acerbus, I think Kure-sensei has a problem…" a tall, somewhat lanky red head spoke, holding the tenth and sequentially most recent volume of La Corda d'Oro he had come into contact with, in one hand and a fudgecicle in the other.
"Whatcha mean Infernum?" a girl, younger and sitting on the large sectional couch asked inquisitively, lowering her copy of Necrotaholic. The man called Infernum frowned as he responded.
"The amount of suckitude in this volume is ASTOUNDING, wouldn't you agree?" he inquired and the girl put her feet up, pink high heeled books clanking on the coffee table.
"Hmm, you're right, after the concourse her story line has sort of petered out hasn't it?" she added and he smiled.
"Suckitude." he stated plainly and she sighed.
"Fine, suckitude…" she grumbled.
"So what do you think we could do about it? I mean, there really is no way out of this and no mater what she writes someone is going to get angry at her, cause if she doesn't do Len--" Infernum started, Acerbus getting a dark cast to her features.
"If she does Len I will kill her." she hissed.
"Eh heh…" Infernum chuckled lightly then frowned severely at the girl. "darling, I was speaking."
"Apologies." Acerbus stated, nodding in deference.
"Forgiven." he stated quickly. "but the point is, if she doesn't, the multitudes of Len fans will be appalled and if she doesn't do Ryotaro--"
"If she does Ryotaro I will eat her soul…" Acerbus interrupted again, hissing her words like an angry cat.
"I was speaking." Infernum stated sternly, glaring at her. She flushed.
"Apologies." she stated weakly.
"Forgiven." Infernum declared, a little firmer than before. "but if she doesn't the fan girls for Ryotaro will be mad. And if she doesn't do Kazuki--"
"If she doesn't--" Acerbus started and Infernum shot to his feet.
"I'M SPEAKING!!!" he bellowed and her eyes went wide.
"Sorry…" she squeaked.
"Thank you!!!" he yelled and settled down in the couch. Then he frowned. "shit, what was I talking about?"
"Yuki Kure's plot development?" Acerbus suggested, used to Infernum's drastic explosion at interruption.
"Ah, yes. I just think that either way she goes she's going to make someone unhappy." he finished and Acerbus considered his words then sighed.
"She should just pair Kahoko with Shoko and be done with it…" she sighed and Infernum blinked then burst out laughing.
"Ha! Wouldn't that be great! They slept together you know!" he nodded wildly, laughing like a maniac as Acerbus chuckled gently to herself and lifted her book again.
"Indeed, it'd be downright hilarious." she declared.
--
Meanwhile, Somewhere in Tokyo…
--
"Um, Kure-san, are you sure this is what you want to do?" Yuki Kure's editor, an anxious, timid little man, stated to the small woman, her looking tired and morose, her unwashed hair hanging limply in her face.
"Yes, just release it, I'm sure to be dead meat no matter what I do, I might as well…" she mumbled, chewing worriedly on a fingernail.
"Okaaaay, if you say so. It's your work." he sighed and set the finished manuscript in her file to be sent to the printers next day. Yuki stood, hugging herself, and pushed the chair in.
"Fine, I'm going home to barricade myself in my apartment. No calls." she stated and he nodded, getting steadily more worried for her. Then he snapped, trying to put a happy spin on her situation.
"Oh, one good thing though Kure-san, you might actually get some sleep!" he suggested and she looked at him with an utterly blank expression.
"Sleep? What's that?" she asked and he deadpanned.
"Um, never mind, why don't you just head home…" he said weakly and she nodded, turning around to head towards the door.
"Right, sayonara…" she said with a wave over her shoulder as she left. Her editor sighed a little and shook his head.
"Poor woman. It's hard being a manga-ka…" he muttered then frowned the abruptly laughed. "well, at least she's not as crazy as Hiromu yet!!"
--
Later, In the La Corda Universe at Seiso Academy…
--
"Kahoko… I've… I've been blind, completely… I thought I knew how I felt but I had no clue…" Len Tsukimori said gently, Kahoko frowning and her mouth moving soundlessly.
"L-Len? What are you talking--" she started and he stopped her, grabbing her hand.
"Kahoko Hino, I love you." Len said sincerely and Kazuki slammed a book onto the table.
"WHAAAAT?!" he yelled, Ryotaro shooting to his feet.
"No way you jerk, I love Kahoko!" he declared, Kahoko eeping from her place inching towards the corner.
"WHAT?! Ryotaro?! But, but you all know how I've felt about her this whole--" Kazuki objected, Yunoki interrupting from the table with a delicate clearing of the throat.
"I have to admit, I'm in love with Hino too." he stated in a voice that was no nonsense and so different that his usual tone.
"Yunoki?!" Kazuki whined.
"Guys!!! Stop it!!!" Kahoko yelled over the shock and awe goi9ng around the room. Her face was red and her arms crossed over her chest as if trying to cover herself, as if completely self-conscious. "I hate to tell you but… I'm already seeing someone."
"What?" they all asked in unison, completely shocked. Kahoko blushed and twisted a strand of hair around one finger.
"Um, yeah, actually, I've been seeing someone a while now. I hope that doesn't hurt my friendship with any of you because I really like her and I hope we can be together, but I still want to be friends, with all of you!" she declared and nodded brightly at them.
Kazuki looked like he was about to implode, jaw dropped and expression completely heartbroken. Len simply picked up his bag and left, without another word while Ryotaro puzzled something out.
"Wait, wait, yeah, I can still be friends with you, I really like you Kahoko, but um, I must have misheard, it sounded like you said 'her' when you--"
"Oh well, yeah! Me and Shoko have been going out since we went on that trip together." Kahoko answered, the boy's jaw dropping. Then Kahoko got this moony, absolutely love struck look on her face. "She's really very smart and passionate and I love talking to her. We both enjoy so many of the same things and I was actually very surprised when I found out, I mean, she even likes all the same action movies I do, can you believe it? My shy little Shoko?"
Ryotaro's forehead hit the table with a loud thunk, in a dead faint, and Yunoki stood, walking over to her.
"I wish you the best of luck in your relationship and lots of happiness." he stated with a smirk then leaned closer. "but if you two ever wonder what it's like to have a man around, you know where I live."
"Um, yeah, I'll keep that in mind…" she stammered and he wandered of towards the door, whistling. Kazuki was gaping at her still, tears in his eyes. Kahoko looked at him then shifted nervously.
"Kazuki? I um… I hope it's okay with you, I really think you're a very good friend and um… if you hated me--"
"No!! Kahoko, I could never hate you! You're my best girl friend! One of the best friends I have! I couldn't hate you if I tried! I… I hope Shoko is good to you!" he declared adamantly and she smiled, lunging at him and hugging him.
"I'm so glad! Thank you Kazuki!!" she squealed and he sighed sadly.
"No problem Kaho-chan…" he muttered and the door opened behind them, the shy girl poking her head in, trademark blush in place.
"Um… Kahoko? Are you ready to go?" she asked softly and Kahoko smiled.
"Oh, hi Shoko, um, I'll be there in a second." she stated with a smile, gathering up her stuff as she did, smiling the whole while. "see ya Kazuki!"
And Kahoko rushed out to meet her girlfriend to go for after school coffee.
--
Meanwhile In the Abode of Infernum and Acerbus.
--
Acerbus, a boy today, stood and rushed to the other room at the crash of breaking glass, long black trench coat fluttering in the speed generated wind.
"Infernum, what's wrong?!" he yelled, Infernum leaning heavily on the desk his computer rested on.
"She did it…" he gasped, feeling, and looking, somewhat asphyxiated.
"Who did what?" Acerbus asked, worriedly helping Infernum sit in the chair as the older writer pointed to the screen. Acerbus frowned and looked to the page of manga displayed on the screen. He started to read.
"A friend sent it to me, said she couldn't believe her eyes that she'd do something like this…" Infernum croaked out and Acerbus sat back on his heels, somewhat shocked himself.
"Premonition…" he muttered.
"Premonition indeed." Infernum agreed and they were both silent.
"Well, I'll go get the celebration handcuffs." Acerbus stated with a wide smile.
"Awesome!" Infernum declared and stood up, newly emboldened. "I'll call Mortanym and drag Chitose Yagami out of the closet."
"Oh, call Sakkaro too, she'll appreciate this." Acerbus added and Infernum laughed.
"Oh-ho! Indeed, being our yuri girl I'm sure she can appreciate it!!!" he stated, ending the statement with an evil chuckle as he picked up the phone.
--
Same time at the house of a Len Fangirl.
--
"NOOO!!!! Why?! How cald you Kure-shan?! I'llz kill you!!!!" she screamed, writhing in torment on the floor. She clawed at the carpet and spewed badly spelled expletives until she was foaming at the mouth and her mother scolded her for ripping the carpet and grounded her, thus keeping her from writing on her horribly written LenXKahoko fan fiction and thus bettering the world of the internet for it.
The End.
I would like to be the first to say that I'm not bashing fans of Len or the LenXKahoko pairing, just the ones that don't bother to so much as use spell check.
Which I'm pretty sure annoys even other fan girls of Len who don't use spell check so…
No offense intended to anyone.
Thank you and good night!
P.S. anyone who knows both who Chitose Yagami is and why she would be imprisoned in our closet, gets a special fic of their choosing. And no Acerbus, you don't get to play.
P.P.S. I took certain liberties with this, especially the parts involving Acerbus at my place or implying we live together, we do not and it is rare for Acerbus to even set foot in my house, let alone stay for hours at a time, as for the way I portrayed Acerbus' gender… I'm going to let you puzzle that one out. Enjoy!