a/n- so i was thinking maybe my problem isn't so much writer's block as it is my freaking addiction to sorority life, it's sucking my life away!!! i also decided that i really need to go back and restructure some things, holy crap there are some places where everything is a freaking mess, with all the pov's and i'm writing as i go with no real hard fast storyline. anyhow it's becoming a challenge for me to go back and try and find if i already mentioned something, so i'm gonna do that and hopefully it won't slow updates anymore than they already are.

also i'm hecka tired, and not sure of any of this a/n is making any sense. hopefully the chapter does though.

the twilight universe isn't mine *sigh* :(

EDWARD

I stood again walking to the door, placing my hand on the knob. It was about the fifteenth time I'd done that since Alice and Rosalie had left.

I really wasn't sure what to do next. Yet again, I walked back over to the bed, running my fingers down the sheets Bella had been tangled up in this morning. Sighing, I slowly lowered myself to lay where she had once been burying my face in the pillow and inhaling deeply the lingering scents of sex and Bella.

A muffled groan escaped me as I pushed myself back off the bed. I had to get out of this fucking room. What I'd do once I left it, I had no idea but sitting her going back and forth in my head was getting me nowhere.

Turning down the hall, I stopped at the first door pounding on it heavily in case Emmett was asleep, Emmett loved his naps and he sleeps like the fucking dead. He knew I'd left with Bella and he'd obviously seen his sister already this morning, yet by some miracle of God he hadn't turned up at my door. My fist dropped to my side as it occurred to me that maybe he was as pissed at me as his sister was.

Standing there, my head fell back and I closed my eyes, I stood like that for several seconds before knocking again; softer this time. My head was still pounding and I hadn't had anything to eat yet, that would probably help the rolling of my stomach. Finally I decide Emmett wasn't there or wasn't awake or just wasn't answering.

"Fuck." I breathed out slowly.

Fuck it, there was no fucking way I was going back to my room, there had to be something I could find to do, I was in fucking Vegas. I started toward the elevator slowly, passing another door. Jasper's room, I decided to try it; hell the guy was probably moving in with me in a couple months, he should get used to my shit now.

The knock I gave to Jasper's door was much less forceful than the one for Emmett and a moment later he was pulling open the door.

"You eat yet dude?" I asked, toeing the carpet as I pulled my shoulders up in a shrug. It was a fucking girl move and I half expected him to shut the door in my face.

"Rough morning?" he asked with a slight breathy laugh. He stepped back from the door and I heard rummaging from in the room while stood in the hallway. Shutting the door behind him, he started down the hallway and I followed behind.

We ended up at Pink Taco with me ordering way more food than I needed or usually ate. I was feeling terrible this morning, and I thought that maybe the food would help settle my stomach at least. Though really I knew that it wouldn't, nothing today was going to be that easy; that I was fucking sure of.

Jasper seemed to be a pretty quiet guy, which I was thankful for; it would make him easier to live with. The slience between us seemed comfortable, at least it did to me.

"So…" he drawled after the waitress had left with our orders. He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair as he slouched back into the booth seat stretching his legs out, he left his hands locked behind his head and his elbows out.

My elbows were on the table and I dropped my head to my hands, letting out a breath. "So…"

Talking with Jasper was easier than the slience had been, we'd talked about Emmett mostly; sharing humorous anicdotes, until the food came. I dug into mine like I hadn't eaten in weeks, while Jasper wasn't showing the same enthuisasum.

"You not hungry, dude?" I asked through a mouthful of carne asada.

Shrugging he answered, "Emmett and I had breakfast a few hours ago, but I'm from the south, nothing can keep me from Mexican." He pointed his fork at his plate and laughed, "Or what passes as 'close enough.'"

I shoveled another huge bite in my mouth. Still hoping that if I could just fill my stomach the uneasiness would pass, though my hope was fading quickly. It wasn't my hangover causing the knot in the pit of my stomach to grow or the muscles in my shoulders to tense.

One corner of Jasper's mouth slowly pulled up in a half grin before he went where I knew he eventually would.

"Where'd you run off to last night?"

There was nearly a repeat of events from the shower this morning as my stomach heaved. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. On the last exhale a slow, "Fuck," escaped me.

"That bad?" he asked, as he scratched casually at the stubble on his chin.

"Not till this morning." Again my stomach rolled. "Well, that wasn't even bad," I continued lamely, "until she left."

Jasper was slouched down in his seat again, arms folded lightly across his chest; he nodded at me ever so slightly, willing me to tell him more. Part of me didn't want to tell him anything, I didn't know this kid; but more of me was grateful to have someone to talk to, so I did.

"I… I guess… well, I know that I really fucked shit up with Bella. I just didn't think it matter so much now, or that it would hurt so much for so long. I just didn't think, you know?" I had stammered and stumbled and said too much, and when I finished Jasper was still sitting, relaxed waiting for more. And I gave him more.

"I love her. I told her that before, back then, but we were kids and I didn't even know what it meant then. But when I didn't have her, when I couldn't turn to her- not just for the bad stuff, but the good stuff too, ya know? I just, I realized what it was like to not have her and I knew that I really, really did love her. But it was too late, I thought maybe it wasn't, but I guess it really is." My head dropped back and my hands pulled at my hair.

We sat quietly for a minute while our waitress refilled our glasses and hovered long enough to make me uncomfortable. I began to fidget, drumming my fingertips on the tabletop while staring blankly at the plate in front of me.

"Why is it too late?" Jasper finally asked.

I splayed my hands out flat on the table before looking up. A soft snort escaped me, "You didn't see her face this morning."

"I saw it last night," he stated, eyebrows raised; almost as if he knew something I didn't and he was going to let me in on the secret.

I tipped my head to the side and shrugged.

"She loves you, man." He nodded as he spoke, like he was stating the most fucking obvious thing on earth.

And maybe it was.

I'd come to the conclusion myself, right. Bella loved me. But obviously it wasn't enough, something wasn't enough. She loved me and knew that I loved her, but she'd still ran away this morning. So I couldn't help but doubt everything I thought I knew and everything anyone tried to convince me of. Emmett and now Jasper, and what the hell difference did any of this make to Jasper anyway.

I shook my head, I was getting nowhere in my internal debate.

"Dude, I read people pretty well." Jasper must have thought my head shake was in response to him. "I can practically feel the love between the two of you; it rolls of each of you in waves."

"It's not that. It's just… I don't know." I paused heaving a huge breath. "So, she loves me. She loves Emmett and Alice too. We've known each other forever and maybe she's just not in love with me."

Jasper shoulders pulled up slightly as he shook his head once, pursing his lips in thought.

"I just…" I breathed out slowly, pushing my plate away and burying my face in my hands.

"You just what?"

"I just want her, I can't do it without her anymore," I whispered, my face still in my hands.

"Do what?"

"Live."

The two of us sat for awhile; Jasper slouched back against the seat, me with my elbows on the table palms covering my eyes. When the waitress approached again, Jasper asked her to box up the rest of our food. I paid for both of our meals since I'd dragged the poor guy out with me, I hoped I wasn't giving him the idea that I'd be a needy roommate, who felt the need to hang out with him all the time.

"Where's Emmett at?" I asked in the elevator.

Jasper coughed, caught off guard.

I couldn't believe I didn't think to ask earlier and by Jasper's reaction, and I wasn't sure I really should want to know. I probably should have let it go, but I'd already started down the road.

"What?" I demanded.

Jasper drew his eyebrows together. "Nothing, dude. Uh… I don't know where Emmett is." His statement was unconvincing.

"Where is he?"

Jasper shrugged, shaking his head with a dopey look on his face.

"Fine," I sighed and pinched at the bridge of my nose. "When did you see him last?"

One corner of Jasper's mouth pulled up as he smirked at me and shook his head.

As he opened his mouth to speak, the elevator doors opened. Jasper chuckled, "Saved by the bell."

I couldn't help but laugh too and I didn't get a chance to ask him again, because when we walked out of the elevator we couldn't miss Emmett's hulking form pacing the hall.

"I hope you haven't been doing that long, you've gotta be scaring other guests," I called out.

Jasper laughed, "Ah, he must not have been at it too long, security would have been called."

"Ha, you two are funny." Emmett deadpanned. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Jeez, mom didn't know I had a curfew."

"Fuck you, Edward. We need to talk."

BELLA

Alice and Rosalie were waiting for me when Emmett pulled open the door to the hotel spa.

"I'll talk to you later okay?" He said softly from the doorway, then he nodded in the direction of his sister. "Hey Al. Rose," he greeted with a cocky grin plastered on his face.

Rosalie shot him that wicked grin that she reserved for boys she was trying to get into her pants. Emmett's grin faultered slightly before he turned walking out of the door.

"Ew," I said, laughing as the door closed.

"Look who's talking."

"Hey Al, how was your flight babe?" I pulled Alice into a quick hug which she barely reciporated. "You okay?"

Alice looked off, the corners of her lips barely curling in a brief smile. "I'm fine," she answered flatly. "The flight was fine."

Something was up with her, I wasn't sure what, but assumed she'd heard what happened last night. Honestly, though I would have figured she'd be excited about something, anything, happening between Edward and I.

"Alice what's up?"

Her tiny body hurled toward me and she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. "You know I love you, right Bella? You can tell me anything?"

My eyebrows raised as she pulled back as suddenly as she had embraced me.

"Um… I think I had sex last night?"

Rosalie burst into laughter, and the receptionist at the spa's front desk dropped her head pretending like she hadn't heard anything.

Alice frowned slightly, before answering. "I heard," her voice dull and flat again.

"Al, what's up?"

"Nothing," she all but barked at me. "I'm gonna go get us all checked in."

Once her back was turned and she was quietly talking with the woman behind the desk, I whipped around to Rose. "What the hell?" I whispered.

She shrugged.

"You so know what's going on."

Rosalie examined her nails while biting lightly on the corner of her lip, refusing to look at me.

I glanced between Rosalie overtly ignoring me and Alice's back, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. A sharp breath escaped me when Alice turned and the receptionist stood to lead us.

Five minutes later I was laying face down on a table completely nude with a towel over my ass, sure there was no way I'd be able to relax enough to enjoy my massage. Not when Alice was pissed at me and Rosalie was keeping secrets, and then of course there was Edward. The massuse came in an introduced herself as Kate, I sighed as she drizzled warm oil over me and began working out the knots my left from my swim and my stress.

I was so wrong about not being able to relax.

An hour later I was sitting in a hot tub completely blissed out.

I felt the water move beside me and opened my eyes to see Rosalie climbing in beside me.

"What the hell? You've got a fucking swimsuit on!"

Rose laughed.

"When the hell did you change? That girl just rushed me out here from the massage," I pouted.

"I wore my bottom into the room and carried my top with me," she giggled. "Bella did you go in there naked?"

"Yeah, that's how it's done."

Shaking her head, Rosalie laughed again. "It's not how I do it."

"Whatever."

We sat quietly for a moment, Rosalie still snickering at me.

"Rose, what's up with Al?"

Her head fell backward and she huffed lightly. "She talked to Edward. Well, we talked to Edward."

"I'm not even going to ask why." It was my turn to huff.

There was another quiet moment between us, as we both stared straight ahead.

"What happened at Christmas?"

"Fuck." I turned to face Rosalie. "Alice didn't know about that?"

"No. You didn't tell her, or me."

"I would have thought he would have told her, and I just didn't feel like getting into it then."

"Which is why you…" Rose started slowly. "Where did you go to Bella?"

I covered my face with my hands. "Texas."

"So that's how Emmett knew?" came Alice's soft voice, sadly from behind me.

I nodded as Alice climbed into the hot tub on my other side.

"See, bitch. Naked."

Rosalie laughed. "Whatever, backwoods freaks."

Rose and I giggled, but Alice didn't fall for my attempts at distraction. A weak smile crossed her face for the briefest of seconds, before she settle into her signature pout and slouch. A posture that got her pretty much anything she asked for. Alice's brow was furrowed, and her lower lip stuck out ever so slightly; she'd draw one corner in between her teeth, then release it to chew slightly on the other. Her tiny shoulders were pulled up as she stared at me with sad eyes.

"Alice, you seriously didn't know?" I asked softly.

"How would I know?" Her voice was high, as she battled back emotion. I knew I had hurt her.

"You and him talk." I hoped my repentance was obvious as I cast my eyes downward, and offered a slight smile.

"Why Emmett?" she asked in a soft voice.

I shrugged and ran my fingers through my hair. "I don't know."

As I looked at Alice's face I noticed the way her eyes shifted away, the way she refused to make eye contact and in that moment something occurred to me. She wasn't asking, why Emmett, she was asking, why not her.

"I'm sorry Al, I really wasn't trying to keep this from you. I just figured you knew." Alice and Edward had been so close, and she was always trying to convince me to reconcile; forgive and not forget. Honestly, I figured she'd pushed him to do it, but I'd never say that to her.

"I… I wouldn't… Well I guess I might, but…" Alice stammered out. Her eyes were moist and she was actually trying to make eye contact now, it was me struggling.

I hated the fact that I had hurt her.

"I didn't," she finally blurted out.

"Didn't what?" I mumbled, staring down at the water swirling.

"I didn't tell him to do that. And I'm so sorry that you ever could think that I would. I screwed up-"

Fuck, did I say that out loud.

"Al…" I attempted to cut her off, but she wasn't havinging it.

Her hand shot up from the water. "No, Bella, let me say this?" she pleaded.

I nodded slightly, giving her my blessing to proceed.

"I screwed up. I'm supposed to be your best friend, and I don't think I have been." Her lower lip was still intermittently being pulled between her teeth as she spoke slowly, thinking carefully about her words. Finally she looked down before breathing out, "I'm sorry Bella."

I opened my arms and Alice fell into to me, tear finally falling from her eyes as she whispered apologies again.

"Al, I should have talk to you about it anyway, not assumed, I was just kinda… I don't know."

There was a snort from the other side of the hot tub.

"Are you rethinking the whole 'spas in the buff' thing now?" Rosalie asked when we turned to look at her.

I flung my naked body across the hot tub, wrapping my arms tightly around her neck and grinding my boobs into her as I gave her a big kiss on the cheek. "Is someone feeling left out?"

a/n- so, yay for chapter 10? no? *shugs* let me know.