Imagine yourself having raunchy sex with Bella
Sit at his piano and hit random keys and say your are composing
Think backwards
Imagine yourself taking a ride on his 'disco stick' (thx Lady Gaga)
Think randomly such as randomly shouting out swears in your mind
Watch 'Wizard Swears' on YouTube and try and work out what all the beeps in the last swear mean
Imagine him wearing flare jeans
Make comments on the status of his Bella sex life
Tell Renesmee to ask him where babies come from
Make your ringtone that stupid Gummy Bear song
Change his ringtone to that stupid Gummy Bear song
Change his ringtone, period
'Accidently' have a documentary on animal mating on when he walks in
Tell him his shirt is wrinkled
Force feed him Fruit Loops
Video tape him coughing up said Fruit Loops
Talk his daughter into wearing a string bikini
Then blame Bella
Steal his IPod
Steal Bella's IPod
Plant birth control on Renesmee
Push him over the treaty line
Give Renesmee a motorbike for Christmas
Hide a tape in his bedroom and record him and Bella having hot vampire sex
And post said video on YouTube