Chapter 18

"Come in!"

Alicia went inside. She found herself in a large and beautiful circular room, full of funny little noises. Sitting on a shelf at her right, Alicia spotted the Sorting Hat. She was reminded of her first day at Hogwarts. She had chosen Slytherin. For the first time Alicia wondered what would have happened if she had been put into Gryffindor. Maybe she would have grown into a different person.

McGonagall was sitting behind her desk. She was resting her chin on the tip of her fine fingers.

"Sit down." She ordered.

Alicia had the strange impression of being watched, and not just by Professor McGonagall. It was then that she realised that hundred of portraits were staring at her.

"Now, I don't usually do this kind of thing." McGonagall hesitated. She looked behind her at the portrait of a man with a long beard. "But there is someone who wants to speak to you."

"Who?"

Alicia looked around at the room. Apart from herself and the headmistress she was sure there was nobody else. And then McGonagall stood up and took of one of the portraits of the wall.

"Now, remember, Alicia, this is only a picture. The memory of what this man used to be. Don't get too attached to him." McGonagall said. She looked extremely sad as she put the portrait on her desk so that the old man from the picture was staring straight at Alicia.

"I don't understand …" Alicia said. Maybe she still had a chance. Maybe McGonagall hadn't called to expel her at all.

"I will leave you some privacy." McGonagall said. She cast one last look at Alicia and at the portrait and then she left.

Alicia sighed. She turned back to the man in the portrait.

"Hello, Alicia." The man said.

"Eh, hello." Alicia said uncomfortably.

"I'm professor Dumbledore, but you can call me Albus."

Alicia had heard a lot about Albus Dumbledore but she had never seen a picture of him. Harry spoke very highly of the greatest headmaster Hogwarts has ever had.

"Harry told me about you." Alicia said because she couldn't find anything else to say. She had the odd impression that Dumbledore already knew a lot about her.

"Yes, I suppose he did." Albus smiled.

There was silence. Albus' blue eyes were twinkling behind his glasses.

"Eh, professor, why am I here?" Alicia asked at last.

"Isn't there something you have to tell me?"

Again nobody spoke. Alicia was frowning slightly. She wondered what the old man was expecting from her. Did he know what she had done? Alicia felt uncomfortable, she felt like Dumbledore was playing tricks on her.

"I don't think so."

"Alicia, tell me, what is it like to feel miserable all the time?" Dumbledore asked seriously.

"I don't know."

"What is it like to feel scared all the time?"

"I don't know." Alicia wondered why he was asking questions like that.

"What is it like to have a broken heart?"

"I don't know."

"What is it like to regret? Dumbledore didn't stop questioning Alicia. His blue eyes were staring in her eyes and it was getting harder to lie.

"I don't know."

"What is it like to be incapable to stop?"

"I don't know." Alicia kept repeating.

"What is it like to make yourself suffer?"

"I don't know."

"What is it like to be lying to Albus Dumbledore?"

Alicia didn't answer. She bit her lip as if she had been caught. What was he playing at? She felt scared. He knew it. It was obvious.

Dumbledore sighed.

"Alicia, why don't just tell me what you have done? Get if off your chest, it will do you good." Albus said.

"You're just a picture." Alicia retorted. She didn't know why she had said that. She was only making it worse. 'I should be down on my knees begging not to get expelled' Alicia thought and smirked. She would never get on her knees for anyone in the world.

"I know I am just a shadow of the real Dumbledore. But I'm still here, Alicia. I can see everything that happens in this castle, and I can hear as well. Do you see what I mean?" Dumbledore said.

"No …"

"I have a voice, Alicia. Do you know how easy it would be for me to call for Minerva and tell her who exactly attacked the students?"

Alicia gasped. So she had been right. He did know. She felt like a rabbit caught in a trap. Dumbledore was smiling at her shocked face. He was perfectly calm.

"And why aren't you calling her right now?" Alicia asked her voice trembling.

Dumbledore laughed.

"I believe expelling you is not the solution. If we expel you, you will be out in the world, alone and angry. It will only increase your hate for muggles. It will do you more harm than we can all imagine!"

Alicia frowned.

"So if I understand you well, you're only guarding me out of pity?"

"Exactly."

Dumbledore smiled at Alicia's horrified face. Alicia tried to make sense of Dumbledore's logic. Even if she tried to hide it, she couldn't help admiring Dumbledore. He had guessed correctly. In only one sentence he had shown Alicia how much he knew her. And, without even trying, Dumbledore immediately gained Alicia's confidence.

"It's a strange feeling, isn't it? I believe you have never been pitied once in your whole life." Dumbledore popped the picture of a muggle sweet into his mouth.

"Well, there's a matter of fact you're right."

"Now, Alicia, I'm not telling anyone about your attacks, but you have to promise me something."

"Of course." Alicia said.

"You have to get rid of your serpent. That snake is thirsty for more blood and it will attack again with or without your help. It will find itself another person."

Alicia said nothing. She couldn't bare the thought of separating herself from Morla.

"I can't." she said at last.

Dumbledore sighed. The students saw Alicia as a great witch, with a lot of talent and beauty. Dumbledore saw her completely differently. In Alicia, he saw a stubborn child whose toy has gotten out of control.

"You will have to." Dumbledore said simply.

Alicia struggled with her feelings. She knew Albus was right. But on the other side, she loved her pet. It seemed cruel to get rid of Morla.

And then Alicia thought of her last conversation with the snake. Morla was getting more and more difficult to control. Alicia knew Morla was going to do anything to taste blood again.

"I will do it." Alicia agreed feeling sick.

"There is something you have to explain to me." Dumbledore said.

"What's that?" she was ready to do anything for Dumbledore. After all, he only had to call McGonagall and then her life would be ruined for ever.

"What was the point of your attacks?"

Elisabeth had often asked Alicia the same question, over and over again. Alicia had never been able to explain herself. But now she had no choice.

"It's complicated." Alicia said shrugging. She avoided the word 'silly'.

"No, it's not." Dumbledore answered. "There is a muggle boy living in your street. That muggle was very important to you. You had a fight with him that separated you from him. You came to Hogwarts with an intense hate for muggles. But what do you really have against them? The only reason why you hate them is because the boy who broke your heart was one of them."

Dumbledore finished his speech and looked at Alicia with a stern look. Alicia said nothing. She didn't try to defend herself. She didn't try to deny it. She just sat staring into thin air.

"You have blamed the muggles for something that doesn't exist. You are the one who broke the friendship between Mr. Perkins and you."

"But he said he didn't want to see me anymore!" Alicia cried desperately.

"There was a simple way to fix that and you know it!" Dumbledore retorted. "You just had to apologize. That was all Mr. Perkins wanted."

Alicia felt her head ache. Everything suddenly blurred before her.

"I don't feel well." She said feebly.

Dumbledore watched as Alicia covered her face with her hands. He knew she was crying.

"I have to go." Alicia mumbled and stood up. She left the room staggering.

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Elisabeth was pacing up and down in the dormitory wondering what she had to do. Andrea and Ramona were with her.

"I only wanted her to stop! I didn't mean it when I said I was going to go see McGonagall!" Elisabeth cried.

Ramona and Andrea looked at each other and said nothing. What could they say? If Alicia was caught then they would be expelled as well.

But from the three of them Elisabeth was the most worried. She didn't care about getting expelled, but she was scared for Alicia. She knew what the girl was capable of when she was angry.

Suddenly the door opened with a loud bam. Elisabeth looked up.

"Alicia!" She cried in relief and ran over her friend.

Alicia smiled feebly and hugged Elisabeth back. At least this was one friendship she had not lost. Whatever she did Alicia knew she could always count on Elisabeth.

"Elisabeth, I have to do something very important." Alicia said. She opened her wardrobe and took her heaviest coat.

"Where are you going?" Elisabeth asked worried.

"Home. I'm going home."

"Did they expel you?"

"No, I'm going on my own accord. But don't worry; I'll come back in a few days. I already have McGonagall's permission."

"But why?" Elisabeth asked confused. She looked at Ramona and Andrea but they were as perplexed as she was.

"There are a few things I have to do." Alicia said simply without giving further details. She bent down and grabbed Morla from under the bed.

"Alicia, tell me what is happening!" Elisabeth cried.

"I can't, Elisa." Alicia answered. "But I promise the attacks will stop from now on."

And then she left, with the snake in her arms. Elisabeth leaned against the window. There was a storm and it was raining hard. And there was Alicia running as fast as she probably could.

"Good luck." Elisabeth whispered as if Alicia could hear her.

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Alicia sat down on the grass. She was sitting in the middle of the Quidditch pitch. At least it was raining. That way she was sure she was going to have some privacy.

She took Morla out from under the coat and stroked her silently.

"What's happening?" Morla hissed. She didn't like the rain.

Alicia didn't answer. She looked into Morla's eyes and continued to stroke the snake.

"Alicia, what are you doing?" The serpent asked impatiently.

"If I let you go you will find someone else to hurt. You will find people to bit and the venom I gave you will kill them on the spot. You won't be afraid to use it, will you?" Alicia said softly.

"Of course not. But, Alicia, I don't understand. What are you planning?"

Alicia ignored the snake's questions.

"If I leave you, you won't stop attacking people. Even if I order you not to, you will disobey me."

"If you leave me, I will no longer obey you." Morla said.

Alicia looked as if she was in a lot of pain.

"Then you're not giving me a lot of choice." She said and got out her wand from her right pocket.

She pointed the wand at the snake. Her hand was shaking and she wondered if she was crazy. This was Morla, the snake she loved. Yes, but Morla was far too dangerous to live now.

Alicia whispered the spell.

Morla's eyes widened in horror as her whole body froze. And then her head fell delicately on Alicia's knees.

Alicia held the immobile snake in her arms. She couldn't believe what she had just done.

She had killed Morla. Alicia tightened her grip and kissed the dead serpent. Her lower lip was trembling.

She began to sob.

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Alicia arrived in front of the Perkins' house. She held her broom tightly in her arms as if it would protect her.

She shivered. It didn't stop raining. Alicia knew she probably looked a sight but she didn't care. She watched the silent house in front of her.

She could go back to Hogwarts and miss a second chance.

Or she could just go and knock on the door.

Alicia wondered if Mitch even remembered her. They hadn't spoken in three years. Alicia had only been twelve the last time she had spoken to Mitch. She was very aware of the fact that she had changed a lot physically. She was no longer a kid. But then Mitch probably had grown as well. He was seventeen now, Alicia calculated.

What if they didn't recognize each other?

Alicia struggled with her feelings. Maybe Mitch would think she was crazy to come back so many years later. Maybe he would laugh at her. After all it had taken her three years to find the courage to come back to his house.

What if Mitch didn't want to do anything with her anymore? It was a horrible thought but it was possible.

Alicia bit her lip to stop herself from thinking like that. She had to think positive or she would never find the courage to knock on that door.

It was harder than she had imagined.

Maybe Mitch had never liked her much at all. Maybe she had just been the kid from next door.

Alicia tortured herself non stop.

Maybe one day we will be friends again.

Mitch's words suddenly came into Alicia's mind. Mitch had used the word friends.

Alicia took a step forward.

Maybe one day you will be able to swallow your silly pride and apologize to me

Every single word of her fight with Mitch rang in her head like a bell.

Courage suddenly came to her.

She walked towards the door. Her hand was shaking as she held it in front of her eyes. All she had to do was knock on the door.

Alicia knocked.

The door opened. A young man appeared. Alicia didn't even stop to think.

"I'm sorry." She said.

It stopped raining.