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So, Jane has quit! What will Edward do now? Will he give up or will he try to get her back where she belongs, with him?

Chapter 4(a): The Visit

Nearly a full week passed before Edward Rochester arrived at Gateshead.

Once he had sufficiently recovered from his shock at reading Jane's letter of resignation, Edward impulsively decided to take the very next coach heading towards Gateshead, see Jane and demand that she return to Thornfield and marry him. He shot out of the library and ran up the stairs to his bedroom, taking the steps two at a time, all the while shouting for Mrs. Fairfax. Bursting into his bedroom Edward ran to the wardrobe, pulled out the suitcase and then rushed around the room collecting what he needed for his journey. But as he was indiscriminately stuffing clothing into his bag, he began once again to think of what he would say to Jane, how he would ask her to return to him. Edward slowly stopped packing and sat on the bed, frowning, lost in thought. Since he had never been open about his feelings for Jane how could he now suddenly appear on her doorstep and order her to return to him? What would he say to her? But he also could not let her just walk out of his life either ... yes, he would go to Gateshead, tell Jane he loved her beyond all reason, and if necessary get down on his knees and beg her to return to him.

Mrs. Fairfax appeared in the doorway, flushed and breathless from hurrying up the stairs from the kitchen, and stared, astonished, at the mess in the room. "Sir! What's wrong?"

Looking up, Edward sharply replied, "I'm leaving for several days, Mrs. Fairfax. Tell John I need the coach to take me to Millcote immediately."

"But sir, have you forgotten? You have important company arriving in a few hours: Mr. Eshton, the local member of Parliament and his wife, and several others ..."

"Deuce take it, Mrs. Fairfax! Simply tell them I had to leave immediately!"

"But sir … excuse me … but sir, you specifically requested that we prepare a special dinner for your guests because of their importance ... forgive me for being forward, but.…" Afraid to continue, Mrs. Fairfax paused and waited for him to speak.

Edward closed his eyes, dropped his head and slowly sighed.

"You're right, Mrs. Fairfax. I can't leave today. Continue with your preparations. Please forgive my outburst." He looked up at her and continued, "Oh, and by the way, Miss Eyre has resigned by letter. On my desk there are goodbye notes to you, Sophie and Adele."

"Miss Eyre?! Resigned?! But why, sir?"

"Mrs. Fairfax, please …" Edward paused, rubbed his forehead with his left hand and slowly exhaled in an attempt to control his temper. "Please just go and read her letter to you and give Sophie and Adele their letters. Please leave me now."

Without another word Mrs. Fairfax quickly left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

The dinner party was interminable. Edward began to believe he had died and been condemned to an eternity of an endless evening of meaningless chitchat. Somehow Dante had neglected to mention this special circle of hell. It took all of his self-control to play the role of the charming host and not throw everyone out so he could go to Jane. When the dinner was finally over and his guests had been shown their rooms, he locked himself in his study. At first he restlessly paced backwards and forwards, rubbing his temples and his face and then, calmer, sat staring unseeing at the fire as he slowly drank his well-deserved brandy. He consoled himself by remembering that although his guests had delayed his departure they were to leave in the morning. Then he would be free to go to Jane.

At least that was his plan.

Just as his guests were leaving both his solicitor and his estate agent showed up. Edward had completely forgotten that the men were due to arrive that day. There was urgent business regarding several of his far-flung properties that had to be dealt with immediately, as well as much correspondence from his bankers that needed to be answered. So, instead of sitting in the coach to Gateshead, Edward found himself sitting at his desk, working. By the time night had fallen Edward found himself still at Thornfield, angry and frustrated and nowhere near finished. It took almost all of the next two days for the work to be completed. Edward thought he would go mad at the delay.

Finally, very early on the fourth day after receiving Jane's letter, Edward boarded the coach to Gateshead. The journey would have been tedious under any circumstances – fifty miles the first day, a night at an inn, then another fifty miles – but with all the anger, frustration and fear he had been dealing with since receiving Jane's letter, it was all he could do to sit still in the coach. The perpetual scowl on his face kept the other passengers from speaking to him so he was free to dwell on his thoughts without interruption. He mentally replayed all the hours of conversation he had enjoyed with Jane and when he allowed himself to think of how he might be deprived of her company forever the fear which gripped his heart made it difficult to breathe.

The coach arrived at Gateshead in the early evening. Leaving his luggage at the inn, he asked for directions to Swallows Cottage. The cottage was easy to find, a quiet 15 minute walk from the inn. Edward began to rehearse, for the umpteenth time, what he would say to Jane when he finally saw her. When he reached the cottage he hesitated before the door for several long moments, took a deep breath and then knocked. When there was no response he knocked again, louder. Again, no response. Just as was about to knock for a third time, a little girl skipping by sang out, "Miss Eyre's not home. She's gone far, far away." Astonished, Edward spun around, glared at the child and exclaimed "Gone! Where has she gone to?" Frightened by his rough tone of voice and scowling face, the little girl yelled "Ask Mr. Wilson, he knows!" and ran off. Since the little girl disappeared before Edward could ask her where Wilson lived, he had no choice but to walk back to the inn, even more exasperated than before, to ask for directions.