Hey Mr. President
A JONAS fanfic by phoebenpiper
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PART THREE
"P – R – E – Z – K – E – V!
Kevin! Kevin! O – M – G!
Gooooooooooooo, Kevin!"
As Kevin reached the top of the pyramid of cheerleaders, he raised his megaphone and yelled, "Vote for Kevin!"
There was a smattering of applause throughout the gym as the Pep Squad dismantled their pyramid, kicking and yelling on Kevin's behalf before sitting back down. From her spot in the bleachers, Macy gave Kevin an enthusiastic thumbs-up, which he returned with a pleased grin before taking his seat with the other candidates.
"Thank you, Mr. Lucas," Vice Principal Metzler said as he returned to the microphone. "For our next speaker we have sophomore candidate Nicholas Lucas."
As Metzler sat down, Nick stood up and walked to the microphone, carrying his guitar. "Good afternoon, my fellow students. Instead of a speech, I wrote a little song I like to call 'S.O.S. (Election Remix)'. I hope you enjoy it."
Nick began to play the familiar chords as he sang:
"Ooh, this is an S.O.S.
Don't want the second best,
Check on the bottom line.
It's true I'll give my all for you,
So don't pick those two
'Cuz I'm better than them by half.
It's like I'm smarter than the senior class,
better believe I'm best.
After all, I'm better dressed."
"Thank you," Nick said, acknowledging the enthusiastic applause with a smug smile before sitting back down, ignoring the glares from his brothers.
"Thank you, Mr. Lucas," Vice Principal Metzler said, clearly not amused by Nick's musical speech. "Next up we have a candidate from the junior class, Joseph Lucas."
Joe simply sat in his chair, staring out at the crowd in the bleachers and gulping nervously.
Stella put her hand on Joe's shoulder and gently nudged him. "C'mon, Joe," she whispered. "It's your turn."
Joe took a deep breath before reluctantly standing up and making his way to the microphone. Once there, he awkwardly shuffled the index cards Stella had prepared for him before clearing his throat and starting to read in a monotone: "'My fellow students ask not what your Student Council can do for you ask what you point at the audience can do for...'huh?" Joe stared nervously at the cards, taking a moment to understand. "Oh, I get it. 'Ask not what your Student Council can do for you; ask what YOU,'" this time Joe correctly pointed at the audience instead of saying Stella's stage directions aloud, "'can do for your Student Council.'"
Joe smiled, pleased that he'd made it through the entire first sentence. Unfortunately, in doing so, he looked up, and, seeing the audience, froze, overcome once again by stage fright.
After several minutes of Joe simply standing there in silence, Stella couldn't just sit there any longer. She hurried to Joe's side, whispering, "What is your problem?"
"I can't do this. There's too many people watching."
"Joe, you perform in front of tens of thousands of screaming girls all the time."
"But that's SINGING! This is talking."
"But don't you talk during your concerts?"
Joe shrugged. "Well, sure, in between songs. But...."
"But nothing. Nick just sang. For all you know, Van Dyke is going to sing. I certainly hope not, since he's completely tone-deaf, but you never know. So just pretend that you're on stage, talking to the audience. Imagine," she said, gesturing to the collection of students on the bleachers, "that these are all screaming fans, and they love you."
Stella looked out at the audience at her best friend, signaling her with her eyes. Macy knew just want to do – she stood and yelled, "I love you, Joe." Then, seeing Kevin's disappointed face, Macy added, "And you, too, Kevin. Go, JONAS!" She waved her arms like a crazed fan, which came naturally to her since she WAS a crazed fan, as she tried to make Joe feel more at home.
"See?" Stella said. "It's just like a concert." She grabbed Joe's hand, which still held the index cards, and raised it up so he could see them. "Now simply read the speech I wrote, and NOT the stage directions, and you'll be fine."
Stella started to walk away, but Joe called her back. "But Stella, it's NOT like a concert! Kevin should be over there, and Nick should be behind me."
Stella sighed with frustration. She turned to the Vice Principal and asked, "Mr. Metzler, may Joe have permission to move some things around?"
Metzler did not look amused, but he answered, "If it'll get him to finish quicker, go ahead."
Stella turned, gave Joe a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and then returned to her seat as Joe went about setting up the stage properly. First he walked over to his younger brother and took away his guitar; taking it over to Kevin before moving his older brother into the position where he would normally stand during a performance. Joe then ran over to Stella, who removed the chopsticks from the bun in her hair and handed them to him. Joe took the chopsticks over to Nick, handed them to his brother as if they were drumsticks, and then made his little brother stand so he could move Nick's chair back to an imaginary drum set. Nick, like the Vice Principal, was clearly not amused, but he sat down all the same and raised the chopsticks as if he were about to start drumming.
Joe returned to the microphone, glancing to his left and behind him as if he were checking with his bandmates, before returning to his speech, which now flowed easily out of him like concert banter.
"My fellow students," Joe said, taking the mic off the stand and confidently striding across the gym. "Ask not what Student Council can do for you; ask what YOU can do for Student Council. 'But what can I do?' you may ask. Well, first of all, you can vote for the best Student Council president: me. Because I, Joe Lucas, care about Horace Mantis Academy...'"
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"...Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers built this school," Joe continued with his enthusiastic speech. "And today, you're being giving a choice. Choose progress. Choose hope. Choose me! Because together, we can make a difference. Yes we can!"
Joe grinned, pleased with himself that he'd made it through Stella's entire speech without any more stage fright, despite Nick's attempts to distract him by periodically punctuating his speech with a sarcastic rimshot on the metal folding chair.
As the audience applauded, and Macy yelled out, "We love you, Joe!" like a good fan, Joe returned to Stella's side. She gave him a quick congratulatory hug, which almost immediately turned awkward when they realized they were actually touching each other, so they finished with a reluctant handshake instead.
As Metzler returned to the microphone, he gave a long sigh before noticing that Kevin was still standing nearby holding Nick's guitar, bowing to the audience. "You may sit down now, Mr. Lucas."
"Oh, right!" Kevin said, realizing he was no longer needed to help his brother and quickly sat down.
"All right, students," Metzler continued. "FINALLY, we have our last presidential candidate: Van Dyke Tosh."
As Van Dyke stood, the gym grew silent with anticipation. So far they'd witnessed a cheerleading routine, a song, and a rousing speech with more political metaphors than CNN's The Situation Room, so they were eager to see what was in store for them next.
Van Dyke reached the microphone and smiled his goofy athlete grin. "As you know, I'm Van Dyke Tosh." He paused for a moment before simply stating, "And I am NOT a Lucas brother."
That was it. That was his entire speech. But all the backstabbing and name-calling and political shenanigans the student body had had to endure over the past few days from the three Lucas brothers had obviously taken their toll, for the entire crowd jumped to their feet, giving Van Dyke a standing ovation.
As the cheering continued, the three Lucas brothers looked at each other, dejectedly realizing who the final winner of the vote was going to be.
- - -
"This is a travesty!" Macy declared as she gathered with the Lucas brothers and Stella at their lockers after school. "I can't believe that all three of you lost! The fans demand a recount."
"Speak to Frankie," Nick said dryly. "It sounds like he's an expert."
"But it's not a mistake, Macy," Stella said, clearly upset with herself. "WE'RE the mistake. We all got so focused on winning that we forgot what was important, why we were really doing this."
"To get girls?" Kevin asked.
"No," Stella answered.
"To annoy Nick?" Joe asked.
"No!" Stella was getting annoyed.
Nick shut his locker door before saying matter-of-factly, "To make Horace Mantis Academy a better place."
"Yes," Stella said, pleased that at least ONE brother knew the correct answer. "And instead, we made things worse. Just look around this place. The halls are filled with posters of you guys saying TERRIBLE things about each other. That's not what brothers do. Brothers should support each other, not try to tear each down and humiliate them."
Macy nodded, pulling down a poster from Joe's locker. "Yeah, like how humiliating is this? A photo of young Joe naked in a bathtub with his rubber duckies."
"Let me see that!" Stella said, yanking the photo away from Macy.
"Hey!" Macy said, grabbing it back. "I saw it first."
Stella stole it again. "But Joe was MY candidate."
Macy ripped it out of her best friend's hands, leaving only a small corner of it behind in Stella's fingers. "But I need to post it on the fan website. After all, JONAS may have lost the election, I'm still president of their fan club."
And with that, Macy ran off down the hall, with Stella running after her yelling, "I want the original after you've scanned it!"
With the girls gone, the three brothers looked at each other.
"We're sorry you ruined your chances, Nick," Kevin said, putting a comforting hand on Nick's shoulder. "We know how much this meant to you."
"And how much JESSIE meant to you," Joe said, putting his hand on Nick's other shoulder. "I'm sorry I stole her away. You know, she obviously didn't switch campaigns because she thought I'd make a better president -- everyone knows YOU would've." Nick nodded, clearly agreeing with his brother's statement, before Joe finished with, "She obviously just switched campaigns because I'm hotter."
Nick turned and glared.
"And remember, little brother," Kevin said cheerfully, trying to avoid brotherly bloodshed. "No matter what, you'll always be 'Mr. President' to us."
Nick smiled. "And I've got an entire year to write a campaign song for next year's election. You know, I was thinking something along the lines of 'A little bit longer, this school will be fine.'"
Kevin and Joe both laughed and shut their locker doors before the three losing Lucases headed home.
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THE END