Personal affection is a luxury you can have only after all your enemies are eliminated. Until then, everyone you love is a hostage, sapping your courage and corrupting your judgment.

When Ziva's eyes fluttered opened, she immediately registered the fact that she was very sore, very dirty and that her head was buried into a warm chest she knew very well.

"Mmmm…" She moved her head slightly, shifting in Tony's embrace. "If you tell McGee or Abby about this Tony I swear I will…" She looked up, smiling teasingly.

And then felt her stomach drop out as she looked at Tony's stiff, frozen face.

"Tony?" She said frantically, getting up and looking for a pulse. As she touched his neck, she pushed back the urge to recoil from his blue skin. When she didn't, she flipped him on his back and began to pump on his chest, breathing air into his lungs. He didn't move, blink or breathe.

No no no no no no… "TONY!" He would wake up soon and flash her a classic DiNozzo smirk because that's what he did, make her freak out and then laugh…

Suddenly, he moved. Relieved tears fell out of Ziva's eyes. She had almost lost him. There would have been no more arguments, no more warm smiles, no more….anything. A life without Tony.

Tony's neck turned and he stared directly into Ziva's eyes. She felt her smile slid off her face, and she swallowed hard. Something was different, wrong about Tony. He smirked, and Ziva drew back. This wasn't Tony's smirk, this was one that she had seen on the face of torturers, of killers… It was of pure callousness, of getting pleasure out of cruelty…

"You killed me Ziva."

"No…" She felt the whisper brush past her lips before she could even think about it.

"If you hadn't fallen over the cliff, I would still be alive."

"No, no Tony that's not true! I…" Fuzzy memories were starting to come back about her "accident." "I was pushed!"

"So what?" The possessed Tony spat the words in her face. "So I had to give up my life because, for all her bragging, big bad Mossad Agent Ziva David, couldn't defend herself?"

"I – I didn't want you to jump into the river with me!" Ziva said, her face worried screwed up in horror. Tony never talked to her like this, so cruel and unkind. Who was this strange creature that had taken over him? She tried to push him away, to escape, but Tony grabbed her, pinning her arms to her sides. And suddenly it wasn't Tony anymore, but someone more horrible, more evil than she could imagine. Was it some monster Tony, coming from hell to pay for her mistake of letting him die. She didn't know how she knew this with an absolute certainty, but she was certain she was right. And suddenly, his hands were on her shoulders, and he caught her eyes with his. She saw death, destruction, horror. Tony was gone and he had been taken over by this demon because of her…

"NO! Tony!" She screamed out for him, the real him, but he didn't come and the hands dragged her down…

"Ziva! Ziva!" Someone had violently shaken her from her dream, and Ziva opened her eyes to find Tony staring at her, a look of concern on his face.

"Tony?" She sat up, panting heavily. She looked around and saw that they were lying side by side on the cabin floor. It was completely empty except for them, everyone else had left. Ziva turned back to Tony, seeing the raw worry in his eyes. Worry. Worry meant caring. And caring was… Tony. She reached out, and touched his face. She needed to know he was real, that she wasn't having another dream, and that she wouldn't wake up to a cold, stiff Tony… She couldn't handle facing another dream world again.

Slowly, she ran her hand down Tony's face. Tony was silent as she touched his checks and ran a finger down the long bruise he had obtained. He flinched, and this caused her pain. She touched her forehead to his, to show him he wasn't alone, she was right her, and she knew what he had done for her. They looked into each others eyes for a minute. His eyes were filled with concern for her, hers were filled with an odd, childlike fancy. Then, finally satisfied with the reality she had been presented with, she sank down into the blankets, still looking up at a mystified Tony.

Gibbs sighed and tossed his seventh cup of coffee in the trash. He couldn't do anything about this case until he got a call from DiNozzo and David, and considering they were only going to call if anything important happened…

He was thinking about telling McGee, who was pretending to look at a map of the forest really closely, but was really just sleeping, to go home, when something heavy landed on his desk. He looked up to see Abby standing in front of him with a huge book on his desk. "Abs?" He questioned, just as if he were in her lab.

"You're not going to like this, Gibbs." But, in contrast to her words, Abby looked excited. Her eyes gleamed, her cheeks were flushed and an exhilarated smile shone on her face.

"I take it you found a match on our odd writing?" They glanced over to McGee who had finally woken up and was now listening attentively.

"Yep, something which your computers have yet to do." Abby gestured at the computer, which was, for the fifth time, comparing the unknown symbols to all known types of writing.

"And?" Gibbs asked after the typical pause, in which Abby relished withholding information from him.

"And, looking at this, I've been beginning to think…" Abby cut herself off, staring off into space and chewing on her lip. Theatrics, Gibbs knew. She was trying to go for the most dramatic effect possible. He played along well.

"Beginning?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"That this case has suddenly become a lot more complicated."

"Why? What's in the info, Abs?" He gently grabbed her wrist and removed it from the pigtail she had been twisting around. She seemed to ignore him, and continued staring off into space.

"You need someone on the inside of this case Gibbs, someone who knows what's going on. Because let me tell you right now, this isn't your ordinary case. This isn't like one you've ever seen before. So for this one, you need someone who's smart, someone who's resourceful, someone who knows the ins and outs of all the important clues and background information of this case. Someone…like me."

No. The though burst out of him before he even had a chance to think about what she had asked of him. Abby in danger. Abby in the midst of blood and filth, exposed to the darkness of the world. Abby was meant to sit in her lab, protected and safe. Someone for him to come back to when the mission was hard, or when he needed a break. And now she wanted to break all those rules and put herself in cold, cruel danger?

Not while he was breathing.

Abby was still staring at him hopefully, which meant he hadn't broken anything or shouted yet, which he considered a huge accomplishment. He managed to move his lips an inch to say, "No."

Her smile slid off faster than butter. "But Gibbs! What you need for this mission, I can do better than anyone in this agency! I know how to handle a case like this!"

"You're not qualified to do something like this." He stood up now, trying to pretend it was someone he could intimate, like his team.

But Abby simply jumped up, unafraid, ready to take whatever he gave to her.

That was his girl. And that was the reason he couldn't lose her.

"I said 'NO' Abby. What part of that don't you understand?" He roared the words, trying his hardest to scare her. But that didn't work with Abby.

"If it was Ducky or Palmer who was trying to pull this you wouldn't be like this!"

"I damn well would!"

"Ziva and Tony need me, you have to trust me on this one Gibbs! I'm the only one that can help them with this mission."

"Ziva and Tony are qualified agents who can deal with what is thrown at them. The same goes for McGee and I, who are their backup."

"This isn't fair! It's because I'm a girl, isn't it? You think a girl couldn't handle this…or, or it's because I can't shoot, is that it? Because who's fault is that? I talked about getting a gun and who talked me out of it? Oh, that right, YOU!" Abby's eyes were sharp and slightly wet. She wasn't going to give up easily. He knew he had to pull out the heavy guns. He would be hurting her, and she was going to hate him for it, but he was willing to take it if it kept her safe. He couldn't lose Abby…

"Now listen here, Scuito. You are under my command and you will obey my orders. Is that understood?"

Abby's eyes went wide with shock. He had never used her last name except for her first day on the job. He had never, ever shouted like that at her. This was a low blow, he knew, but he hoped it would drive the point across.

"Fine." She spat out the words with suck venom that he had to stop himself from stepping back, backing down. She grabbed her book, turned and stomped her way back to the elevator, shoving McGee into his desk when he tried to talk to her.

"You haven't given me the evidence yet!" He shouted after her.

"You'll get it when I can go undercover!" Abby screamed over her shoulder.

Gibbs opened his mouth, then closed it. Abby needed to be alone right now, to calm down and cool off. He would go back to her later, give her a Caf-Pow and comfort her. She would forgive him in time.

She had to.

Abby managed to keep the tears inside until she was safely in the elevator. Once there, she slammed the button to stop it, and slid down to her knees. This brought back memories from an even darker time, one where the links she and Gibbs had constructed had been permanently bonded.

"Nobody's going to hurt you Abby."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Is it working?"

"Yeah. Can you say it again?"

"No one's going to hurt you Abs."

She had depended on him for too long. Long enough to be made the sniveling damsel in distress that Gibbs could always protect. But he wasn't going to be able to do that, not anymore.

She knew that this would hurt him, and for that she was truly sorry. But she wouldn't let Tony and Ziva come back in a body bags. She could change that future, and she would. Besides, if Tony and Ziva died, Abby would still be lost to Gibbs, lost in her own grief and uselessness. There was no way out of this problem except to do something so hurtful to Gibbs that she didn't want to consider it. But there wasn't any choice. She only could hope that he might forgive her.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she took out her cell phone and dialed a number she knew, but had never used.

"Director Vance? I've got something I think that would interest you."