*crawls in groveling and scraping* I apologize soooo much for not updating for *counts on fingers* five months!! If it makes you all feel better, I was totally stuck later on but I think I know what to do now.
'My Fair Lady' went off without a hitch, by the way…and my brother and I even did 'Footloose' during my impromptu hiatus. They were both amazing…
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Deputy Chief Rousseau, the officer on duty, rubbed a hand across his pudgy face and stretched with boredom and inactivity. The only bad part about slow days, despite the lack of work that 'needed' to be done, was that he had to challenge attackers of the coffee pot. That lovely drink kept the Parisian workforce going--and, being rather superior to a good number of the men in the building, he needed the stuff more than the next man. How was he to keep the wheels of brilliance in his mind turning without steady applications of caffeine grease?
Despite precautions (i.e., naming the coffee off-limits to all save himself), Captain Rousseau found the remains of a coffee spree in the form of grounds scattered on the floor and an all-too-empty pot conspicuously on the floor. After inquiring as to the nature of this (and receiving no answer) Rousseau took it upon himself to start a new pot. Unfortunately, this involved going outside to fetch water which he as an officer was obviously not required to do.
As he debated whether to do the job himself or 'recruit' another person to do it, Sergeant Reginald Prideux approached him.
"Has Inspector Javert come in today?" the sergeant asked. If Rousseau had been the observant type, he might have noticed the worried look on Prideux's face. Not being very observant, he overlooked the concern in the sergeant's voice and only saw Prideux as an opportunity.
"No, he has not. But I'm glad you came to me, sergeant." Rousseau pointed at the coffee pot. "The pot is empty. Go make another."
A blank confusion crossed Prideux's face. "But…I have work to do…"
"It can wait--go make another pot." Rousseau made shooing gestures with his hands. "Go, go."
Prideux reluctantly shuffled out the door. Rousseau then turned to his own work and began writing furiously--he had nearly mastered this crossword puzzle, and damned if he was going to lose.
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Sergeant Reginald Prideux couldn't help fuming a bit as he made his way down the corridor in search of the back door. Sure, Rousseau was a superior, but that didn't make him the overseer and all the little workers his go-fers whenever he felt like it. And being brushed off concerning the Inspector was even more infuriating. He seemed to be the only person anxious about Javert's whereabouts--everyone else in the office seemed mildly surprised but all too accepting of the man's present disappearance. There was a good chance that he was only concerned because he knew about the transformation--but when a man comes in to work every day of his life and then suddenly vanishes, even for one day, without an excuse, he saw that as reason for concern.
He banged out the backdoor as he continued to fume--the cool air didn't help his heated temper at all. Since Prideux was of the mind that needs a lot of different factors to make angry, he jumped to another subject that tended to be a thorn in his side: Rousseau's holier-than-thou position. It didn't seem to matter whether one was competent or even hard-working: if you had money and a family that could trace its lineage all the way back to Adam you could buy yourself any title in the world. Rousseau's commission was a well-known subject: the man had bought his way to the top, ignoring the chain of command and perching himself in a spot where he could order about those with less monetary means. Prideux couldn't help wishing that he was deputy chief instead of a measly sergeant--it'd be nice to have a crack at fixing the system, maybe do a little ordering about himself--
"Prideux!"
The sergeant froze, looking around wildly. No sign of anyone, and yet he HAD heard a voice--
"Over here, you dingbat!"
Ah. Well, now he didn't have to worry about Javert any more. A quick glance to an alley some distance away revealed the self-same inspector's head and upper body as he peered around the corner of a building. Prideux shed his former anxiety and made a good attempt at appearing relaxed and unconcerned.
"No need to call names," he called, leaning backwards to slump against the building. Well, he was going to lean against the building--he misjudged the distance, fell flat on his back, and clipped the top of his head against the stone.
As Prideux popped back up to his feet, Javert snorted in derision. "Perhaps I was a little too lenient in my accusation," the inspector snapped. Prideux decided not to answer and busied himself with brushing bits of dust and grass off his coat.
"Why didn't you come to work today?" Prideux called. "I found something about 'spontaneous transformation' that you'd be interested in."
"I'm sure," Javert replied, sounding completely the opposite. "Get over here."
"Pushy, pushy," Prideux said while obeying. "Anyway, there was something about a person being randomly changed, usually due to outside influences, and--HOLY BLEEP!!" Having caught sight of Javert's current state, Prideux uttered a completely unprintable word and stood gaping.
Javert darted out, grabbed Prideux by the forearm, and unceremoniously dragged him back to the relative safety of the alleyway. "Shut up! Yes, this is what happened last night. I'm in a bit of a spot and you're the only person I can trust at the moment."
"What about your landlady?" Prideux asked, still staring.
"Madame Gillette?? Good Lord, no! She's the biggest blabbermouth in Paris--I'd never be safe around her. And stop staring! I'm already getting sick of being stared at!"
"Sorry," Prideux said, ripping his gape away with a sheepish air. "Of course…well, you could stay with me for a while, but I don't know if that would work. I have an apartment--my landlady probably wouldn't like it if I showed up with a horse--"
"I am NOT a horse!" Javert snapped.
"Pretty darned close," Prideux muttered. "Anyway, that probably won't work. But I have a better idea."
"Before you divulge your plans," Javert interrupted, "I'm going to send you to buy some food. I haven't eaten yet today, and I am starving."
"Can't you eat grass?"
"No." The look Javert shot at Prideux very nearly scorched his already flame-red hair. "I may have the body of a horse, but my teeth and tastes are very much human. Here, take this," he pulled some money out of his pack, "and buy as much food as it'll pay for."
"Five louis??" Prideux stared at the money shoved into his hand.
"As trite as it may sound, I am very, VERY hungry, and you would do best to obey and not stand idly about when given a direct order from a superior!"
"Sir yes sir!" Prideux mock-saluted and scurried off. Javert heaved a sigh and leaned his left side against the brick alleyway. The odd thing about his hunger was that it didn't seem to come from his human belly anymore--the grumblings and hunger pangs came from the horse section. Very odd, he thought, but dwelling upon it proved impossible because the back door to the Prefecture banged open. Javert backed up, feeling foolishly criminal as his heart leaped in fear. By the sounds of it the footsteps were staying around the door, and he peered around the edge of the alleyway.
Rousseau… Javert narrowed his eyes as he recognized the pudgy figure looking around. Rousseau was a lazy man who had sailed easily to his current status by shelling money out to any who were willing to give him a boost. Due to this completely legal yet generally despised practice coupled with a distinct 'aren't I smart' attitude, Rousseau wasn't exactly a favorite person in the Prefecture. The last person Javert wanted to see him like this wasn't Rousseau, but the man ranked fairly close to the top of the list, so Javert backed farther into the alley and tried to ignore the man's grumblings.
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Damn that sergeant! He vanished right out the backdoor--where could he have gone in such a short amount of time?
Such were the thoughts of Deputy Chief Rousseau as he searched for Sergeant Prideux. He had just finished the crossword puzzle, and when Prideux didn't come back with the coffee he began to wonder (a strange thing because he usually didn't wonder about subordinates). As he didn't find Prideux as soon as he wanted, he began calling out for the man.
"Prideux! Sergeant! Come back here! You haven't finished your job!" Rousseau stumbled against a bit of gravel. "Damn! Who puts those there, anyway?" he muttered, shoving the gravel off to the side with his foot. After a couple minutes of pacing back and forth, Rousseau glanced up to see a figure in the alleyway. "Hey! You! You see a red-haired guy run out of here?"
The figure jumped upon being hailed, and shook his head wildly.
Rousseau walked closer. "Wait a second…Inspector? Why didn't you show up for work this morning?" I lost a couple of bets that you wouldn't come in one day, he added mentally.
"Uh…" The inspector backed away. "Had some personal problems!" He spun and fled in a clattering of horse hooves.
"Hm." Rousseau halted at the sound of hooves…he didn't recall seeing the inspector on a horse. But that was the least of matters on his mind at the moment: between losing his human coffee-maker, losing a bet, and becoming chilled in the November wind he retreated back inside in a most foul temper.
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Javert slunk back to the alleyway behind the Prefecture feeling quite ridiculous. B.T. (before the transformation) he could make people obey him with a word, a single command. He wasn't afraid of death itself and would go quietly when the time came. Now, a subordinate for whom he had nothing but disdain could make him flee in an undignified fear of being caught.
"Why don't I want to be caught?" Javert mused aloud. "Perhaps if I let more people than Prideux (annoying as he is) know of this, I could get out of Paris easier…"
To what extent? Logic snapped. You're probably the only person in the world who has a horse stuck to their derriere. You'd be a freak sideshow before any decent money-grubber would let you go free.
"Yes…but on the other hand I can't rely on Prideux all the time--"
Why not?
"Because he's an annoying subordinate who has less means than a--a ferret to help me."
A ferret? Why not an ant? Or a mouse? They're resourceful and so is he--
"Back to the question."
Right, right. He's helping you now, isn't he? And he's a resourceful kid. He probably knows someone who isn't associated with the government, won't try to make a killing, and can actually help. He's got family too, doesn't he? Somewhere on the line he was talking about them.
"Don't even go there. The last thing I need is a flock of grubby children swarming around me wherever I go--"
"Inspector?"
Javert looked up from his mumblings to see Prideux standing in front of him. Several paper sacks clutched in his arms held all sorts of food, and Javert pounced. Apparently
Prideux both thought it fascinating to watch the alarming rate of speed with which the food vanished down Javert's throat.
"Might I say that the phrase 'eat like a horse' can apply here?" Prideux commented after a little while of this pastime had elapsed.
"You've never been attached to a horse before," Javert growled.
"Of course, the way you snarl at everyone maybe a dog would have suited you better…" Prideux mused.
"Oh shut up," Javert grumbled. But he did slow down a little. After eating his fill he began brushing some crumbs from his hide; Prideux made a 'hmm'ing noise.
"Yes, what?"
"I was just thinking, Inspector…you'll be needing a place to stay, at least until you find a way to change back."
"Hmm," Javert said noncommittally.
"Or…" Prideux glanced sidelong at his superior, wondering why he didn't want anyone to know about him. Of course, having the back end of a horse attached to oneself was slightly embarrassing, but it couldn't be that big of a deal to keep in the force in that condition. "Perhaps you could come back in tomorrow," he mused outwardly. "That is, unless you'd be too embarrassed. I would completely understand--it's not easy being unlike your peers--"
"What the hell makes you think being different from my peers would make me embarrassed?" Javert snarled, making Prideux jump back despite himself. He didn't expect Javert to get quite that irritated, but looking at the flattened ears and aggressive posture of the inspector he wished that he could snatch those words back before they were stuffed down his throat.
"Sorry," he spluttered, waving his hands defensively. "I didn't mean to make you mad."
Javert stepped back, giving his subordinate one last deadly glare. "I suppose you think that by egging me on you'll get me to go back, hmm?"
"Well…" Prideux tried to grin disarmingly. "That was sort of the idea, anyway." He winced a little, waiting for the explosion, but to his surprise Javert's expression changed from suspicious normality to that of the cold, hard inspector. "I see," he said quietly. "Let's go, then."
"What?" Prideux yelled, then clapped a hand across his mouth. Javert ignored his subordinates choked gurgles and walked calmly towards the front of the Prefecture. Suddenly he paused, and glanced back. "Didn't you have a job to do, Sergeant?" he said. "I believe Deputy Chief Rousseau sent you to get coffee earlier."
"But--but--" Prideux gurgled again as Javert disappeared around the corner of the Prefecture and darted after the inspector in a flurry of limbs.
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Dun dun dun!!! Mwahahaha! I love cliff-hangers!