AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well crikey it's been awhile. And I had never intended it to be, but dang, life has caught up in a big way. Still, I'm back and the wheels are spinning again so hopefully updates will be more regular. I hope y'all still dig this and thank you so much for sticking with me. For those interested in THE BIG EMPTY, that will be updated by the end of the week.

And to J - Tag, you're it.


Feb, 2007.

It was late, close to the dinner hour and the tiny airport was mostly empty, just a few stray stragglers moving around. As her flight let out, only a handful of fellow passengers moving beside her, she took a deep breath.

She'd chosen to fly into this half-assed airport just to avoid people.

People who had no idea who she was.

No idea of the nightmares she'd seen.

And supposedly survived.

Normally she wouldn't have cared, but for tonight, for this one night, all of those blissfully ignorant people, well they were just too much for her.

"Jen," he called out, his brown eyes lighting up as he strode towards her. She met him in the middle of terminal and her arms encircled his much larger chest. He kissed her cheek, held her tight. "It's been too damn long."

"It's only been six weeks," Jennifer Jareau replied, trying to keep her voice light and airy. She even through in a dry chuckle, just for effect.

But he knew she was just pretending. Of course he knew.

It was his job. He was a prosecutor. And a damn good one at that.

But it was more than that. He'd always been able to see right through her.

He pulled back and away from her and studied her, his jaw setting. Finally he said, "You don't look okay."

"But I am," she replied, touching his arm, offering up his best smile.

"No, you're not," he said, shaking his head.

"David…"

"You're not okay. I knew that when you called and said you were coming."

"What? Are you saying I can't just come to visit my big brother?"

David laughed loudly. "No, I'm saying you can't just do it on the fly. It's not you. You're a lot of things, Jen, but on the fly ain't one of them."

She smirked. "I can fly."

"Uh huh, if you're on a soccer field."

"Maybe I just wanted to see the old field, remind myself of what it feels like to…fly." There was something sad and wistful in her tone, something that sounded a little bit like a desperate plea.

"Jen, what's going on?" David asked, frowning. He'd never been good at hiding his emotions, at least not around the women in his life. He was hell on wheels in the courtroom, unflappable and always in control.

Control ran in the Jareau family.

But when it came to his wife or his baby sister, well sometimes staying calm and cool was easier said than done.

"Nothing. I just…I wanted to get away for a few days. That's all."

"Away from what? The bad guys? The BAU? The job?" Then, with a smirk. "Or the mountains of paperwork?"

She smiled slightly. "All of it?"

"Jen…"

"I'll tell you everything, I promise, but can we…can we just get out here…I just…I want quiet."

"Okay," he said. "But I'm not sure how much quiet I can offer. Noah never stops moving these days and Nat's going to freak when she sees you."

"That kind of noise," JJ said with a much larger smile, "I can deal with."

David had been right about Nat, who had just about body-slammed her aunt when she'd seen her. But now, regretfully, all was quiet again. The little girl was in the kitchen with her mother, cooking dinner.

She walked around her brother's house slowly, her eyes taking in all of the pictures on the walls. His wife – Kelly – was insistent upon having both sides of their family heritage always on display. She'd wanted the kids to always know where they had come from.

Her nails scratching the glass just a bit, JJ traced her fingers over a color photo of her parents on their wedding day. They'd been married in the seventies so the clothes were gaudy and overly, but still, the picture brought a smile to her face.

And not for the first time, JJ wondered who she would have ended up being had her parents not been butchered.

She wondered if she'd have grown up to be the on-air anchor that she'd always thought she was going to be.

She wondered if she'd had ended up a professional soccer player.

But those days were gone, erased by the knowledge of what a madman had done, decimated by the truth.

The truth was kind of like that.

It took no prisoners.

It accepted no excuses.

It always cut right through to your soul.

The truth of what might have been, the truth of what actions should have been taken, the truth of ones mistakes…

"Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes," David said softly as she approached from just behind her. Just the same, she jumped a little.

And he noticed.

But said nothing. Just waited.

Finally, just as quietly, she queried, "Does your neighbor still own that Irish Sutter?"

"Gilly?" David asked, with a slight frown. She nodded, lips pursed, her eyes focused on a spot just above the picture on the wall, like she was intentionally trying not to let him connect with her. "No, she died two weeks ago. Cancer, I hear. They buried her in their backyard."

"Oh," JJ replied, a small pang of guilt. Gilly had been a good dog, a sweet dog. JJ had been dreading seeing her.

And it was stupid and foolish. And weak.

And God if she didn't hate that.

"Jen…"

"I uh…I haven't seen Noah," she said quickly, turning away from him. "I figured he'd come to meet me. Nat did."

"He's out back playing in the sandbox."

"Sounds nice," she murmured.

David lifted an eyebrow. "You want to play in the sandbox, Jen? Because I kind of remember you throwing a few tantrums in there."

And she couldn't help but laugh then. "Well you always took my toys and you know, they were my toys," she replied.

He snorted. "You thought all the toys were yours."

She shrugged but didn't reply, the mirth fading from her eyes again. And this time, well this time it was too much for David.

He stepped towards her and clutched her shoulders, turning her to face him. "Jen, what's going on? Did someone hurt you? If they did, you know you can tell me. You know that, right?"

"I'm…not…"

Much more firmly this time he asked, "Jennifer, are you hurt?"

Absently, even as she shook her head no, her hand went up and began to scratch at her forearm. He saw and reached down, pulling up the sleeve of her shirt, seeing the bandage there.

"What is this?"

"A dog bite," she said simply.

"A dog bite?" And she nodded but offered nothing further.

Before he could push further, knowing that he had to, seeing something in his sisters eyes that he'd only seen once before, there was a scream. Delirious and youthful, loud and energetic.

"JJ!"

Screaming hysterically, Noah soared towards her, all limbs. She caught him in her arms and lifted him up, hugging him fiercely.

"Hey, baby boy," she gushed, her eyes sparkling. David smiled, thankful for the momentary reprieve, but more worried than he cared to admit.

"Good beer?" he asked as he dropped down next to her. She was sitting on the back porch, sipping from a long neck bottle of pale ale.

"Very good," she replied with a small smile. "You drink good beer."

"No, my wife drinks good beer. I drink Coors."

"Rocky Mountain piss water," she smirked, before leaning against him.

"You got it." Then, "So, how'd you get that dogbite?"

There was a beat and then, "I've told you about Spence, right?"

"The genius?"

"Yeah." Another beat as she took a deep swig from the bottle.. "There was a case. We were on a case, my team, I mean. On the night of the Superbowl."

"So last weekend," David murmured.

She nodded. "Our Unsub was a religious killer. Called himself the angel of death - Raphael. The guy ended up having multiple personalities."

"Real multiple personalities?" David asked with a hint of surprise. He'd been involved in a few trials where defendants had tried to use MPD as a defense but it had always been an obvious hoax.

"Yeah. Three of them. His dad, himself and Raphael."

"Creepy."

"Yeah," JJ nodded. She took another sip.

And for a moment, she said nothing else. So gently, David prodded. "What happened?"

"Spence and I, we got sent to his house. We didn't know he was the killer. We thought he was just a witness. But Spence figured it out. And then we split up…"

David couldn't help but frown. "Oh, Jen…"

She gave him a rather sickly look, one full of guilt and anguish. "Yeah. And then they attacked me. I killed them."

"Them?" he asked thickly, afraid of the answer.

She scratched her arm. "The dogs. He'd been using them to kill his victims. Jezebel, you know?" She looked up at him, a bit of a wild desperation in her eyes. "They attacked me. I thought I was going to die."

"But you didn't," he said, not bothering to hide his relief that it was just dogs that had attacked her. The alternative, well it was too ghastly too imagine.

"But he could have."

David blinked, trying to keep up with her. "He…oh, you mean Spence?"

She nodded. "We separated. I went into the barn, where the dogs were…""

"And Spence? Where did he go?" David asked gently, feeling a bit like he was leading a witness along.

"Into the cornfield. That's where Tobias…or Raphael or whoever got him."

"Got him?" David asked with alarm. It had always been clear to him that his sister had a great deal of fondness for the youngest member of the BAU and if something had happened to him, something that it sounded like she wanted to blame herself for, well that certainly explained a lot.

She nodded and he thought he saw dampness in her big blue eyes. He resisted the urge to reach over and hug her, knowing that it was important for her to tell her whole tale. "He got kidnapped and tortured. God, David…" She inhaled sharply. "They made him decide who had to live and who had to die. And Tobias fired at him…and he stopped breathing…"

"Jen," David said, his voice tight. "Is he dead?"

She swallowed and shook her head. "No, he's at home now."

"So he's okay?"

She nodded. David exhaled.

Then, "David, I nearly got him killed and all of them, they know that. They know that I let him down…"

"I'm not sure I understand. You split up, right?"

She nodded.

"So how is it your fault?"

"Because if we had stayed together, then it wouldn't have happened."

"You don't know that. Maybe if you had stayed together, maybe both of you would have been hurt. You just don't know what would have happened."

"But…"

"No, look. Look at me, Jen." He slipped his finger beneath her jaw and lifted her face up so that their eyes connected. Blue on brown. And then he smiled, just a little bit impishly. "You're in a dangerous job. I told you that when you decided to go into the FBI. I told you it again when you went and got yourself assigned to the BAU. You know it. You know, what you do, I couldn't do it."

"But you do…"

"No, I get to put away the guys that people like you and your team hunt down. I get into their minds after they're no longer a threat. It's easier that way. I'm freaked out by what they've done, but I'm not afraid of them. I'm not…I'm not in danger. You, Jen, what you do is crazy."

"You told me not to do it."

"And I was wrong. It's you, my girl. It's always been you."

She sniffled. "I don't know what I would have done if he…if he hadn't…"

"But he didn't. He's alive. So forgive yourself because I'm guessing that after what he's been through, he's gonna need that smile of yours. After all, it is the best smile ever."

She laughed. "You're a little bit biased, don't you think?"

"Yeah," he admitted. And then he kissed her on the top of her hair.

Her hands trembled as she held the picture. Her mind spun circles, shooting her violently back in time.

"Sit still, Jennifer," her mother called out, reaching out to try to place a hand on her daughter's lace clad shoulder.

"Squirm," her father whispered into her ear. And then he winked and she giggled, immediately alerting her mother to their plan.

But before Kate Jareau could react, before she could do anything to stop her wayward husband and daughter, her young son leapt across her, dropping into her arms. And then there was a brilliant flash of light.

"Perfect," the photographer said with a wide smile. "Just perfect."

After a few seconds, she realized that she was crushing the delicate aged paper, turning it damn near into mulch. She gulped and then, without bothering to stop to pull on her shoes, she exited the room.

She made her way down the hallway, to a door three away from her own. Fist balled tightly, she knocked.

The door opened to reveal Hotch, his hair wet, wearing sweatpants and a tee-shirt. He started to ask her a question, but then, seeing the expression on her face, stopped and instead opened the door to allow her entry.

As he closed it, he saw Reid step into the hallway. Saw the worried look on the young profiler's face.

And then he shut the door and turned to face the trembling barefoot blonde who was standing in the middle of his hotel room, a crumpled picture clutched tight in her hands. "JJ," he started softly. "What's going on?"

Slowly, she held the picture out to him. Before he could take it from her, she whispered, "I need to know where this came from."

He took the photo from her and only his many years of practice kept his face from blanching as he stared down at the picture of a very young Jennifer Jareau, flanked by her mother, father and brother.

They were all smiling, Kate's expression showing astonishment as her son lay in her arms, grinning at the camera, his front two teeth missing.

"Did you have this in your house?" Hotch finally managed.

She shook her head. "No, he took it. Hotch, he took it. The police report, it said that an empty frame was found. I had forgotten, but I remember now, my dad had that in his office. On his desk."

"Oh," Hotch said, looking back down at the photo, staring into familiar blue eyes. Knowing those eyes too well.

"Hotch," JJ said, stepping towards him. "There's only one person who could have had this picture." A breath and then raggedly, "Him."

Hotch pursed his lips for a moment. Finally, "JJ, can I bring in Gideon?"

She initially seemed startled by the question, but then nodded.

"Okay," he said. "Just stay here."

He didn't wait for her to reply, seeming to know that she was to numb to really do so. He glanced at her once more and then turned and exited.

When he stepped into the hallway, he saw Reid and Morgan there, both of them sharing identical looks of concern.

"Is she okay?" Reid asked quickly, approaching him.

"Not yet," Hotch instructed, using his best parent voice.

It was lost on Reid. "Hotch, is she okay?"

He turned to Reid. "It's not for me to say."

Reid's mouth fell open. Seeing this, Morgan stepped forward. "Hotch…"

"Wait," Hotch sighed, then turned and knocked on Gideon's door. Gideon answered it almost immediately. "I need to see you in my room."

Gideon lifted an eyebrow but said nothing as he closed the door behind him and followed Hotch back across the hallway, into Hotch's room. They were closely followed by Reid and Morgan. Prentiss, who had just come from her own room, trailed closely behind.

JJ reacted with surprise when she saw the group. "Hotch?" she stammered. And he saw that she was once again clutching the photograph tight.

"JJ," he said. "They should…they should know."

She shook her head, her blue eyes wide, almost like she was in shock.

"I know, I understand," Hotch said softly, moving to sit next to her. He could see that Reid was itching to go to her side and it took all of his mental concentration not to let his mind wander. Not to wonder once again what was going on with these two.

After all, Reid looked like it was physically hurting him not to go to her.

"But if this man is somehow involved with what we're dealing with-"

Her head shot up then and he saw horror in her eyes, like she'd just realized what he'd been thinking ever since she'd put the picture in his hands. "One seven year old boy, one five year old girl."

"We don't know," he insisted.

"Know what?" Gideon asked, stepping between them.

"JJ?" Hotch asked, putting out his hand. Fingers trembling, she handed over the picture. Hotch took it and then showed it to the others. He pointed. "Kate. Matthew. David. Jennifer." He paused and then added, "Jareau."

The others cocked their heads, not understanding. Hotch saw that Reid was still watching JJ. Still studying her, frowning as she fidgeted, as she shook.

"Kate and Matthew were murdered twenty-three years ago. This photograph, which was sitting on Matthew's desk in his office, disappeared on that night."

And then suddenly, it hit them all.

"Oh my God," Prentiss gasped, her hand going to her mouth.

Once again, Hotch insisted, "We don't know that this has anything to do with the man we're chasing."

"But the cases are similar?" Gideon pressed.

Hotch nodded. "Physically, the victims are identical. The profiles are near to exact. And this picture…it was left in JJ's room..."

"Suggesting a connection," Gideon finished.

"We should have the photo dusted for prints," Morgan said.

Hotch nodded. "Good. Call over to the station. Tell Detective Palmer that we believe that the killer might have made contact."

Morgan nodded and started for the door. He held back for a moment and looked over at JJ. He tried to find her eyes, but she'd lifted them away from him, away from everyone.

She had moved back into strong mode, her posture straightening.

He turned and left the room, pulling his cell from his pocket as he went.

"Prentiss, head down to the front desk, ask them who would have been cleaning the rooms up here, try to find out if anyone saw anyone around JJ's room."

She nodded and exited.

"Reid…"

"I'm staying," he said softly.

"Actually I was hoping you'd take JJ back into her room, let her get into something a little more comfortable. I think it's going to be a long night."

"Sure," Reid said, showing visible relief.

"I can do it myself," she said softly.

"I know you can," Hotch replied before nodding to Reid to accompany her anyway.

Reid didn't quite touch her, just stood beside her as she moved shakily to her feet. They exited the room together, the door shutting softly behind them,

Gideon turned to Hotch. "You knew?"

"About her family?"

He nodded.

"Yes. It was her story to tell."

Again, Gideon nodded, seeming to understand that all too well.

"Do you think she can deal with this?"

"We don't know what this is yet."

Gideon smiled just a bit, a sad thing really. "Yes, we do."

Hotch rubbed his eyes and sighed. "It just seems…well it seems a little bit amazing, don't you think? Why our BAU unit? Why not Cooper's? Why did we have to get this case?"

"Fate's funny," Gideon shrugged. "And everything comes full circle."

"We need to take her off the case, send her home."

"You'll insult her if you do."

Hotch looked up at his old friend. "Jason, what if he wants to finish what he started? He's killing these children, horribly. Especially the girl. JJ might be in terrible danger. And after what happened to Reid…"

"We're always in terrible danger. Every case we have," Gideon replied. "And you and I both know that you couldn't pull her off this case if you tried."

Hotch didn't like the answer.

But he didn't deny it either.

He waited until they were back in her room, waited until they were alone. And then he turned to speak to her but before he could, she lunged towards him and kissed him hard on the mouth.

He gasped and fell backwards, his knees buckling as he nearly collapsed beneath her force. Beneath her frantic desperation. But then, just a little bit reluctantly, he pushed her away. "JJ," he stammered out. "Wait…"

She turned away from him and said rather breathlessly, "Sorry. I shouldn't have –"

"No," he replied, perhaps a bit too quickly. "It's okay. I…tell me what's going on. Tell me how to help." Then, taking her hand. "Please, let me help."

"My father," she said as she started to pace back and forth. "He was a good man. My mom was a housewife. He killed them. Butchered them. Reid, my mom, he ra…"

And suddenly she couldn't finish the word.

Reid stepped forward and touched her face, "JJ, it's okay, we're here, no one is going to hurt you."

"I'm not worried about me," she said, looking up at him. "He won't hurt me. But those kids…"

"We'll protect them. We'll get him." He knew he shouldn't make that kind of promise but the fear and panic he saw in his eyes, he couldn't quite stop himself.

She'd been there for him. She'd pulled him through the worst time of his life. She'd held him when he had wanted to die. Protected him against all the demons, both internally and externally.

And if lying meant that he could even begin to repay a little of that, well then he was just fine with that.

A few moments of silence passed as they both considered his words. Then, softly, "I'm sorry I kissed you…I just…I don't know what came over me."

He smiled a bit wistfully and again said, "It's okay."

He found himself suddenly glad that she wasn't looking at him. Wasn't quite sure he could have convinced her with his eyes as well as he thought he could with his voice.

He wasn't all that sure that he was being terribly successful with his voice either.

Because that line between friends and more, well for awhile, he'd rather wished that it would go away.

But now, he realized, was probably not the time to go there.

"Spence," she said. "My parents, what happened to them, they're why I joined the FBI. I wanted…I needed to catch people like him. I didn't…I told myself that maybe one day I'd get him, but I didn't really ever think I would. I thought it was just something I was telling myself."

"Maybe you should take yourself off the case."

"It might be my last case," she said quietly.

He blinked. "What?"

"I got…I got offered a promotion. The Director of the FBI…" she laughed, sounding almost hysterical, sounding like she thought her own words were absurd. "He wants me to be his press secretary."

"So…you'd leave the BAU." Her voice was suddenly very dull and empty.

She nodded.

"Oh."

And once again, there was silence. This time more deafening.

For a moment they stood like that, both just gazing at each other. A knock on the door broke their emotional staring match and Reid, feeling just a bit grateful for the reprieve, turned to open it. Prentiss was standing there.

"Were they able to tell you if anyone was up here?" Reid asked Prentiss.

She shook her head. "No, no one saw anything, but they're checking their records and they're going to ask around for us."

"Hey, " Morgan said, entering the room. "Detective Palmer wants to see us down at the station right away."

"Why?" JJ asked, moving towards him.

"There's been another killing."

"But it's too soon," she insisted.

"There's something else," Hotch added, stepping behind Morgan. Gideon was next to him, a grim expression on his face.

"Hotch," Reid said, moving back to stand next to JJ, instinctively knowing that what his boss was about to say was going to hurt like hell.

"The little girl, she wasn't there."

"Wasn't there," JJ repeated.

"He took her," Hotch elaborated. "He left a note behind her, saying…saying that he took…took Jennifer." A pause and then, "Her name was Anna."

JJ staggered against Reid, who slid his arms around her and held her tight. As he did so, his eyes met Hotch's and suddenly it didn't matter what was going on between his two youngest agents.

It only mattered that they could both stay strong.

And judging by the expressions on their faces, he wasn't sure that they could.

TBC...