A/N: Sorry this took so long! I apologize a head of time for the italics overload in this chapter. Please don't forget to review :)
Chapter Five – Self-pity is left in the ladies room
She hated Chuck. She hated the way she felt about him. She hated how she was not in control. She hated that he hadn't felt the same way. She hated how bad she wished he had.
Blair closed her eyes, forcing the tears back down, "Fuck." She finally whispered to herself. This had been torture for her. Hadn't Chuck known how much it hurt her to have to pretend?
The entire night had been a mistake but she had to get through it. Because as much as it pained her, at the end of the night, no matter how much she wanted it, there was no Blair and Chuck.
She looked at herself in the mirror; skin flushed, eyes slightly red and glazed. Blair sighed and forced a smile.
---
The food had just been serve when Blair returned. The three ate in relative silence. Occasionally making a comment about their dinner.
"Chuck tells me you're planning to go to Yale, Blair. A great choice." Bart finally started, his attention steered towards his son. "If only Charles here had the same ambitions as you. Have you even applied to any colleges yet?"
Chuck adjusted himself in his chair, suddenly uncomfortable. "Yes father, I have."
"I hope your grades match your ambition, son." Bart continued, heartlessly. "Or, should I get the cheque book ready?" Bart set his dinner fork down, awaiting an answer.
Chuck stayed silent, his brown eyes purposely avoided Blair's own set.
Blair felt the tension stiffen in the air around them, she couldn't bare seeing Chuck look so helpless. "Chuck tells me you're planning to invest in Victrola, Mr. Bass." She blurted out much thought. "Is that true?" Despite how Blair wished Chuck would understand how much he hurt her, and how she wished she could get back at him, she knew there was a time and place for everything.
"The thought crossed my mind." Bart offered a thin smile to Blair.
"Chuck was telling me about all the great things Victrola has to offer earlier today," Blair added with a giggle, "he even mentioned the fire eater in the ladies room." She quickly glanced at Chuck, who looked at her in wonderment, "I think Victrola is exactly what the Upper East Side needs."
"A fire eater, you say?" Bart's eyes widened in amusement.
Chuck took Bart's moment of curiosity to begin rehashing his plans for the burlesque club.
Blair noticed the confidence Chuck ensued when he talked about the potential in Victrola. He had Bart wrapped around his finger in a matter of seconds and Blair felt the excitement that radiated off Chuck. She smiled to herself as she listened to Chuck's speech; she was truly proud of him.
Still deep in conversation with his father, Chuck began to trace small circles with his finger on Blair's bare shoulder; a reminder that he hadn't forgotten about her. His touch instantly made Blair's eyes blur.
Bart stopped a waiter passing by and ordered another bottle of wine. Chuck took that moment to kiss Blair's shoulder.
"You're doing great," She whispered.
Chuck leaned towards Blair, his mouth inches away from her ear, "Do you remember the last time it rained, Blair?" He offered Blair a slight smile. There was no manipulation or wickedness in his expression.
She mirrored his face, his hot breath lingered around her ear. She had remembered. She remembered because it hadn't been one of their many lies of the night. "Yes." she whispered back. They fought in the limo that night it rained and they both said things they instantly regretted. Blair was certain they were over.
"Patrick, can you please stop the limo." Blair looked straight ahead, ignoring Chuck's smug smile. "I'm going to walk home."
The limo came to a smooth halt and Blair got out with a sigh. She struggled to maintain her composure as the bullets of rain fell violently on her. With the door still open, Blair glared at the handsome boy in the limo. "Have a good night, Chuck. Alone." Her perfectly curled hair had already been pulled down by the weight of the rain.
"It's raining, Waldorf." Chuck titled his head, amused. Blair Waldorf and rain mixed very well, he thought. "Can you just get in? I'm not letting you walk in the rain."
"Stop pretending like you actually care," her clothes were soaked in a matter of seconds and she felt the rain wash away all the beauty she had left. "Just leave me alone."
The smug look on Chuck's face had vanished. "I care about you."
"I don't care." She shot back, coldly. A spark of pain shot up to her heart as she watched Chuck's door close. He had finally given up, she thought. Blair began to walk hurriedly; her high heeled oxfords clicked along the sidewalk with great determination.
"Can you please slow down?" A set of familiar lips brushed along her ear.
She turned to Chuck. "What are you doing?" Her had been face painted with anger.
"Well, since you have no intention in allowing me to give you a ride home," Chuck spoke slowly as he shrugged off his beige coat and placed it on top Blair's shoulders, "I'll walk with you instead."
She watched as the droplets of water fall adoringly on his lips, which left her momentarily breathless. "I can walk myself home, Chuck. I don't need you." Her harsh tone left even herself unconvinced.
Chuck stayed silent, his cleanly swept hair had fallen across his forehead. He looked down at his shoes as if they were going to give him the right words to say.
Blair huffed in frustration but said nothing as well.
The two walked in silence with only the sounds of the wet city streets filling their quiet void. Blair shivered under Chuck's jacket, she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist not wanting any heat to escape from her body. The rain seemed to not bother Chuck at all; he walked proudly with his eyes focused straight ahead. His yellow sweater soaked through him perfectly, outlining his strong yet slender shoulders. Night eventually bloomed and the street lamps flickered on along the concrete path. With building lights sparkling magically against the dull grey sky it had felt like they were on a set of an old musical.
They reached the Palace first, the warmth oozed from the golden framed hotel doors. A couple hurriedly walked past them, giggling under their black umbrella. The two stood in front of the opened ironed gates, teasing them to enter. They both watched the couple enter the hotel laughing in between kisses.
"Can we go inside?" She was tired.
He was tired. Chuck stayed silent as he took Blair's hand and walked into the illuminated building.
-
Blair sat quietly at the edge of Chuck's bed drying her hair. Her beautiful lavender dress had been replaced with one of Chuck's white t-shirt. His scent engulfed her senses and it took all her might to steady her dizzy mind. She sighed and allowed her eyes to fall on Chuck, who had been standing by the fireplace, scotch at hand.
"I never meant what I said back in the limo." He suddenly began; the mirror that adorned the fireplace mantel allowed their eyes to lock together.
She forced both the butterflies and her words back down her throat.
"You're the only one, Blair."
Under the table, Chuck placed his hand on top of hers. The gesture was not for show, it was just for them. Blair glanced up at him admiringly; letting his fingers intertwine with hers.