~*~
…eleven…
~*~
Afterward, Clark could recall every instant… every touch, every breath, every glance. But in the moment, all he knew was the perfume of her hair, the light of her soul behind her hazel eyes, and the fleeting memory of a dream. His passion had flared, his mind alive with colours until they exploded in his mind and he fell into the abyss.
When they were done, he held her to him, wishing he could stretch the moment to eternity.
He found his mind wandering, and he recalled a sheet of instructions his mom had tacked to the refrigerator – with a magnet of a bunny, if he recalled – at the behest of Clark's school. It was fact sheet about fire safety. And the principles of the physics and chemistry involved in creating a fire. Clark had a photographic memory, and could picture it clearly: "Smouldering occurs when burning is slow, without flames. When burning is extremely fast, an explosion could occur. Fire that is burning faster than smouldering, but slower than an explosion, is a flaming fire."
To Clark's mind, that was him and Lois all over.
Only they'd skipped the last part and went from smouldering to explosion in an instant.
Clark hoped that, after this, they could find a flaming fire… a fire that lasts.
Lois stirred in his arms.
"I thought you were asleep," he said, planting a soft kiss in her hair.
Lois mumbled a reply, but her face was buried in the crook of his arm and he couldn't hear what she said.
"What?"
"I said…" she lifted her head, laying it to rest on his shoulder, "I don't want to go to sleep. We need to figure this out."
"Well," said Clark, "I don't remember too much about high school biology, but what happens is a man and a woman…"
"Not that, you idiot!" she slapped his chest, "I mean this situation. We have to get out of here."
"I checked, Lois," he told her, "That trapdoor's the only way out. Those sketches over there… one of Lex's… patients… left them here. He must have been here for months. If there was a way to escape…"
"So… what? We just wait here until Chloe decides to let us out?"
"Or until someone realises we're missing and comes looking for us."
"That won't be until Monday, at the earliest."
Clark sighed. He didn't know how to reassure her, and that stung him worse that the bullet wound.
"Why did she do this, Clark?" she asked, her voice tinged with pain, "Why did she abandon you here?"
"Well…"
"Wait!"
Clark was thrown for a second. Now she didn't want to hear the story?
"I'm going to need food for this," said Lois, "What's in the fridge?"
"The basics," he said, "Some soup… canned something or other, a tub of ice-cream…"
"Ice-cream?" Lois glared at him with total incredulity, "And you mention this now? Go get it!"
Clark chuckled. He swung himself out of the bed and padded, naked, across to the fridge. A wicked smile played across Lois' lips as she watched him. Clark grimaced as the cold air from the fridge hit his bare skin and he grabbed the tub quickly, shutting the door. There were utensils on top of the fridge, and he grabbed a spoon. He hurried back to bed. Lois held the sheet open for him, and he jumped in.
"What took you so long?" she demanded.
"I'm sorry," his voice dripped with sarcasm, "I didn't realise fifteen seconds was too long to wait for dairy products!"
"It was too long to wait for you!"
Clark's heart didn't skip a beat. It skipped the entire Great American Songbook.
Lois flashed him a smile, grabbed the ice-cream and whipped off the lid before he could respond. Digging the spoon into the creamy mix inside, she ladled a large spoonful into her mouth and moaned.
"Keep making sounds like that and you're never gonna get the story," Clark threatened.
Lois laughed, and a blob of ice cream escaped her lips, landing with a splat on his chest.
"Oops, sorry…" said Lois, and licked it off.
Clark shut his eyes.
"Baseball… baseball… baseball…" he muttered, under his breath.
"Okay," said Lois, trying to be serious, but the effect was ruined because she couldn't stop smiling, "Tell me!"
Clark took a breath, "You're not gonna like it," he said.
"I'm not doubting that."
"Oh, man…" Clark gritted his teeth, "I should have told you this before we… you know?"
"Jumped each other?"
"I would have said made love, but anyway…"
"Smallville," she smiled at him, pinching her fingers on either side of his mouth, like a mother playing with a baby, "It was beautiful, and wonderful, and a lot of other things, but that was not making love! That was straight out of the director's cut of Nine and a Half Weeks!"
Clark rolled his eyes.
"Fine, just… just know that the only reason I didn't tell you is because… well, because I couldn't have stopped myself if I wanted to. A tank couldn't have stopped me. A nuclear weapon couldn't have stopped me. An asteroid destined for earth, and threatening to destroy life as we know it couldn't have…"
"Okay!" Lois cut him off, "I get it! Now what's this terrible thing?"
"I'm the reason for everything," he said.
He saw her steel herself for another tirade, and hurriedly carried on.
"I'm not saying that because I'm trying to take the blame!" he said, "I'm just trying to explain. I didn't… I didn't come to Smallville before or after the meteor shower."
"Huh?" Lois scrunched up her face, trying to disentangle that weird statement, "Is this like… a puzzle I'm supposed to figure out? A man rides into town on Friday, stays two days and leaves on Friday, kinda thing?"
"What? No… I mean… I didn't come before or after. I came…"
"During?" the light went off in her eyes again, "You mean…?"
"I'm from a planet called Krypton," he said, deciding to just lay it all out there – the naked truth, so to speak, "The meteor shower was actually the result of my planet exploding. My parents… my biological parents… they put me in a ship and sent me here – to save me. That's where my powers come from. Under the earth's sun… I'm different. Faster, stronger, and there are… other things, but they're not that important right now."
Through the whole explanation, Lois just stared at him. Clark couldn't decipher the look on her face. It was like she was struggling with something.
"Lois? Lois, are you okay? What is it?"
"I hate myself…" she said.
"What?"
That was the last thing he'd expected.
"Lois, how can you say something like that?"
"Because!" she attacked the ice cream, taking another three big spoonfuls, before she continued, "I shouldn't be thinking what I'm thinking! It's wrong!"
Clark's blood turned to ice. His breathing just… stopped.
He knew it. She was freaked out. She'd slept with an alien and it was tearing her up inside. How could he be so stupid? So inconsiderate? Of course it made a difference! It would always make a difference! He'd violated her, and now…
"You lost your whole family!" Lois' voice dragged him back from the spiral of self-recrimination, "A whole planet was destroyed and I'm so, so sorry, Clark! But at the same time…"
Clark couldn't start breathing yet.
"At the same time… I'm glad. Because you're here. With me."
Now he could.
He leaned over, his hand moving to the back of her head as he drew her in for the softest kiss. She tasted like cherry ice-cream. Wild Cherry. Clark smiled, but didn't break the kiss.
"You don't hate me for thinking that?" she mumbled into his lips.
For the first time since he'd met her, Lois sounded like a scared little girl. Clark found it adorable.
"Are you kidding?" he said, "If it's even possible, I only love you more."
She finally returned his smile, and rewarded him with another kiss.
"There's more, though," said Clark, "I'm not… completely alone. There's Kara… she really is my cousin, and… Davis."
"Davis?"
"He's Kryptonian. Not the same as me, he's… genetically engineered. A monster. His whole purpose, his reason for being… is to destroy me."
"And Chloe knows all this?" Clark nodded, "Then what the hell is she doing with him?"
"She thinks she's protecting me."
"Well, she's doing a bang-up job!" Lois snarled, "Stripping you of your powers and leaving you defenceless?"
Again. The blood to ice. The lack of breath. And a voice… echoing…
"Tomorrow is the day you die…"
Lois must have noticed the sudden shift in him, because she actually put down the ice-cream and leaned over him, filled with concern.
"Clark? What is it? What's wrong?"
Choking back the fear he felt, Clark found a smile for her.
"Nothing," he said, running a hand down her arm, relishing the velvet of her skin, "Right now… at this moment… nothing could possibly be wrong."
"I don't believe you," she said, "Talk to me."
Clark shook his head.
"Can we…? Can we just drop it? Please?" he couldn't keep the note of desperation out of his voice, "Can we just lay here tonight? Together? Tomorrow's problems can wait for tomorrow, but… tonight… Can you just be with me?"
Lois read the fear that prompted the plea and her heart swelled… with equal measures of grief and a terrible love.
"Okay…"
She rested her head against his chest, over the steady beat of his heart. Clark wound an arm around her, drawing her as close as he could. Cherishing each touch, each lingering moment…as the last.
"I don't want to go to sleep…" Lois breathed, "I don't want this day to end…"
Clark grimaced, fighting a battle against the tears. Threading his fingers through the locks of her hair, he found a lie for her. It came easily. Because she needed it.
"It's okay," he said, "You can sleep. We'll make another like it tomorrow."
And so, they drifted off, at peace in each other's arms. Where Clark realised they were always meant to be, and now… would never be again.