It had been a great day. Cestro had a breakthrough with the power converters and they'd finished the latest project in record time. Billy was already laughing to himself in anticipation of telling Cestria as he stepped onto the porch of their small house. Aquitar being a water planet they'd had to build a special cabin on an island just outside the central city. Cestria always said she didn't mind, but he knew she missed the underwater dwellings that most Aquitians called home.

The door was open, not an unusual thing. She usually left it open for him when she got home first. He stepped in anticipating the smells of dinner cooking, tasting the salty tang of her skin when she came to kiss him hello. But instead of spices and roasting meat the house was filled with sour rotten smell that reminded him of dead fish and rusted metal. Blood.

"Cestria?" he called walking through the pristine living room toward the kitchen. "Sweetheart what are you-"

The words caught in his throat as he entered the kitchen. There wasn't a single surface that wasn't splattered with blood. His mouth went dry and he could barely breathe as he stepped around the counter and looked down to the floor.

That's when he screamed.

*****

Billy jumped in bed, the scream caught in his throat. He sat up in panic not recognizing where he was. It was too dark to be his bedroom. A soft moan from beside him caught his attention and then he remembered.

Hayley.

He turned and could just make out her form in the darkness. She had rolled away from him and was fast asleep with the covers pulled around her naked body. He hadn't woken her up with his dream. Good. Billy took a deep breath and bit back the wave of nausea that was all too familiar most mornings, both from the bad dreams and from the overuse of alcohol the night before. He rested his head on his knees and forced himself to breathe.

When he was sure he wasn't going to throw up he slowly stepped out of bed, his head spinning with thoughts. What was doing here? It wasn't just the waking up in a stranger's bed that bothered him, it was his whole life. As he groped through the dark for his clothes he tried to remember where it all went wrong. It hadn't happened all at once. He'd come back to earth a few months after Cestria's death. He wanted a fresh start, to get away from everything that reminded him of her, and how she died. Things had been good for awhile in school, until the nightmares started. He'd thrown himself into his work and gotten through school quickly. His work on Aquitar had helped him move up in the ranks and the work gave him something else to think about besides his dead wife. But the nightmares didn't stop.

At first the drinking was just to help him sleep. A few shots before bed to take the edge off, one more in the morning to relax. For awhile he was able to clean up long enough to get some project done for work or class, then he'd have another nightmare and everything would spiral out of control again. But now he could barely even manage that. Even with Kim on his ass every day he could barely pull it together to keep up. He'd had to give up his chance at a professorship at MIT because he couldn't stay straight long enough to complete the paperwork. If it weren't for Dave paying him for research on the side he would have lost his house months ago.

But last night, last night had been different. Hayley had been different. It hadn't just been sex. They'd talked. She was easy to talk to, and smart. They talked about his work, her work, his days with the Rangers. She knew everything already so there was no need to hide or make up lies to cover the time he'd been away or strange things that had happened in his past. He was actually impressed how much she knew; apparently she'd studied the old archives from the Command Center thoroughly. For the first time he could remember he'd fallen asleep without thinking about the nightmares, without fearing the blood and the smell, god why did he remember that smell, and the screaming.

Obviously, nothing was good enough to change that. He'd never be beyond it. With a sigh he started pulling on his clothes, hoping Hailey wouldn't be too disappointed with him when she woke up.

*****

Hayley woke to see the soft light of pre-dawn coming through the curtains. She snuggled deeper into the pillow then remembered she wasn't alone. She wondered if Billy was an early riser. Well, there was one way to find out.

She rolled over and reached across the bed only to find the space was empty. She sat up and looked around finally seeing the former Blue Ranger lacing up his shoes.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

He looked up in surprise. He obviously hadn't intended to wake her up before leaving. "I, uh, I wasn't sure if you'd want me here so…"

Hayley almost laughed. He may have let his dark side come out a little last night, but he was still the same shy Billy she knew from Zordon's archives.

"Of course I want you here, you can stay with me all week if you want. Give me a minute, we'll go to breakfast." She shifted out of the bed and rushed to her suitcase against the wall. She pulled out the first t-shirt she could find and pulled it over her head.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Billy said from behind her.

Hayley turned to look at him. He was only steps from the door and looked ready to bolt. His eyes were surrounded by dark circles and he was sweating. He didn't look much like the Billy she'd watched and learned from for so many years in Tommy's underground base. But last night he'd been that Billy. They way he'd talked to her, things he said. It was like she'd always known him. Every since she'd met Tommy her life had been a series of lies and manipulations. Tommy may have borne that burden with grace but such stoicism didn't come to everyone so easily. If it weren't for the coffee shop and the students she tutored and helped there she knew she'd have gone insane years ago. All she ever wanted was someone to share that part of her life with, just one person she could be herself with.

Well, okay, she did have Tommy, but, well…Tommy was Tommy. Tommy was not the kind of guy you got involved with beyond friendship. He had his own issues in the "relationship" department and bearing that burden was not something she was interested in.

When she'd been walking into the mixer that evening and recognized Billy it was like something just came alive for her. Here was someone who would understand better than anyone what it was like to live a life not even your closest family can know about. Billy had lived a life most people couldn't imagine, couldn't believe possible. Even Tommy's experience paled in comparison.

"What are you talking about?" she said in response to Billy's statement. "I just need a minute."

"I'm sure you're busy with the convention-"

"I told you, I'm here all week," she said. "There will be plenty of interesting lectures to attend."

She finished dressing and walked up to him, but when she reached out to take his hand Billy took a step back.

"Look," he said. "You're a really nice girl, Hayley, and I don't know what you think of me, but I'm not the guy from those archives anymore. You don't want to get mixed up with me, believe me."

Hailey narrowed her eyes at him, a burning anger suddenly rising in her chest. "I didn't invite you up here as some lovesick fangirl. I'm not like that."

"I know," Billy said. "Which is even more reason you should stay away from me. Trust me on that."

With that he turned and left the room. Hayley called after him but the only response was the door slamming shut behind him. She sank down on the edge of the bed, her chest aching.

God, what did I just do?

*****

Some fun trivia: Hayley's last name, Ziktor, is from Karl Ziktor, the bad guy on VR Troopers, which is coincidentally the show that Jason Frank (Tommy) was supposed to be the star of before he was called back to be the White Ranger. Just thought you all would love to know that! Don't forget to review!