A/N: Hey all… here we go… don't kill me…quick (Really QUICK) Little update… Read. Enjoy (Probably not). Review…

Trip Around the Sun

Chapter Nineteen – What's Survivable

My immediate response to Carlisle's suddenly tense and rigid form was to rotate around in his arms, and put my arms around him. I tried to bury my face into his chest, scared. I was terrified of whatever was going on as I squeezed my eyes shut. I heard Jasper growl angrily faintly in the background but just pushed myself into Carlisle more. Carlisle loosened a little and leaned down to kiss my head.

"I won't let them hurt you again," said Carlisle softly in my ear and I heard an angry scoff.

I pulled my head out of Carlisle's chest and rotated back around, keeping as close as possible to him. He held me tight from behind as I looked around at the circle of people around us. Jake was directly in front of us, with Sam on one side and Embry on the other. They weren't the only ones though. I noticed three more of the kids from the reservation around us, all much taller and more muscular than I remembered them. Paul, Quil, and Jared I recalled Jake introducing them a few weeks ago.

"I never meant to hurt her," Jake spat as I cowered in Carlisle's arms, "It's your own fault, Doc. I wouldn't have had to show up last night if you knew your proper place."

"He does know his proper place," I said leaning back into him, "And don't you dare blame him."

Jake glared at us for a few seconds as I shifted in Carlisle's arms, trying to get more comfort. As soon as my back was pressed into his chest I felt a little safer, but all the other wolves' eyes didn't leave us. Jasper and Alice were pacing in a perimeter, trying to cover Carlisle and I from all sides, but there was only two of them. Carlisle was still holding me tightly.

"We have you stupid leeches outnumbered," said Jake angrily, "You will hand Bella over to us."

"We don't want death," said Sam, cutting across him with authority, "On either side, but we will take Bella by force if need be. We'll go, let you decide if you would like to fight or hand her over. We'll be back in a half hour, at which time we will either attack, or take Bella home. The choice is yours, Cullens."

Jake growled menacingly at Carlisle as he led everyone away, but Sam remained for a few minutes. I knew what was to happen if they fought, either Jake or Carlisle would not survive, no matter what. Jake would want Carlisle dead, and Carlisle wouldn't take it lying down. Then again, Jake had a lot more backup.

"Sam," I pleaded, tears starting to fall, coming from my feeling of helplessness, "Please."

"Sorry, Bella," He said, "Pack's counting on me, Jake's miserable, I have to do what's best for the pack."

"What about me?" I said, pleading with him, "Emily can't like this."

"Sorry, Bella," He said again and he truly looked sorry, "But the pack's family. Emily understands what an imprint means. She knows how it's supposed to be."

Sam disappeared with the rest of the pack as I turned and balled into Carlisle's shirt. My brain barely registered that Carlisle had picked me up and I was still crying into him as he sat us on the couch. I buried my face into his shirt as I heard Alice and Jasper rushing around us. Carlisle was holding my head gently into his shoulder, leaving kisses all over my face.

"Bella, Babe, please," He pleaded, "Stop crying, my love, please?"

"What are we gonna do?" I said through tears as I pulled away just enough to look into his face, "You guys are outnumbered two to one."

His eyes were all glossed over, like he was crying, only the tears couldn't fall. It looked as though tears were stuck in his eyes and they wouldn't fall. I knew they couldn't, but seeing him like that didn't do anything to reassure me.

"Bella," He breathed, kissing my forehead lovingly, "We'll figure it out, it'll be ok. Jasper, call Denali, that will give us a two person advantage."

"They won't be here in time," said Jasper, "They wouldn't be here til eleven, and even then we don't know if they'll come. Kate always had a thing for you, she might not allow them to come to Bella's aid."

"Then I'll take Bella to the island," said Carlisle and Alice shook her head.

"Jake's determined, and even if you can manage to get there, he'll find you," said Alice and I cried harder as I realized what I had to do, "No! Bella!"

"Alice," I breathed as Carlisle helped me wipe off my tears, "Take Jasper into the other room."

"No!" said Alice, "You can't do that Bella, it's not fair."

"Nothing about this is fair, Alice!" I said, did she really think this was something I wanted?

"We can figure something out," said Alice angrily and I shook my head.

"Please, Alice, let me talk to Carlisle alone," I said and she screamed as she and Jasper left.

I knew what I had to do. I didn't want to, but it was something I could live with, and the alternative wasn't. I knew that if they fought, Jake would not allow Carlisle to walk away from it. I knew that Jake would make it so even if the Cullens managed to win, Carlisle would be dead anyways. I couldn't let that happen, I had no doubt that if it was just Carlisle versus Jake, Carlisle would win, but it wasn't. Jake would have them gang up on him, and there wouldn't be much Alice and Jasper would be able to do about it. A dead Carlisle wasn't something that I could take. That wasn't something I would be able to live with.

"What is it, Babe?" said Carlisle concernedly as he looked into my eyes, so innocent, so beautiful.

"Carlisle, you are so amazing," I said, tears starting to fall, "I love you so much. But I have to go, with Jake."

"Bella, no," He said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Carlisle, I can't…"

"Bella, please," He begged as his head dropped into my hands, and I kissed the back of his head.

"I love you so much, Carlisle," I said, "Please, don't make me watch them kill you. Let me do what I can."

"It's not an option, Bella," He said, "They're reckless, careless, they'll hurt you."

"So let them hurt me," I said, "What do you think they'll do when they kill you anyways? They'll take me."

"How are you so sure?" He said, "So sure I won't survive?"

"Because they'll target you," I said, in hysterics as he pulled me tight.

"Let me try," He said, "Don't make me give up the best thing that ever happened to me without a fight. I love you way too much to let that happen."

"Carlisle, it's not survivable," I said, "If you die, I won't be able to survive it. I can survive going with them, that I can do. Losing you permanently isn't something that is survivable."

"Bella," He breathed, looking on the edge of tears, "I'll change you."

His words twisted my stomach in ways I didn't know was possible. My already sinking and broken heart plummeted. I felt my whole body go cold as I realized just how desperate Carlisle was to keep me. I understood, but all I wanted was to keep him alive.

"That's just going to make them mad," I said, tears flowing faster than ever, "I would like nothing more than that, but they'll still kill you."

I ran my fingers through his hair as I pressed my forehead to his. I angled my face down and kissed him. It was sweet, slow and beautiful. He picked his head up a little to kiss me back. His mouth was moving perfectly with mine as his hands came up to cup my face gently. My hands went through his hair softly, massaging his scalp.

"Bella," He whined as I pulled away, laying a few extra kisses to his lips, "Please don't do this."

"Carlisle, I don't see another option," I said, feeling his shoulder muscles through his shirt, "I love you so much I can't let this happen. I can't let them kill you, or Alice or Jasper. I know if I let you, you'd die for me, and I love you for that. I just love you too much to let you."

"My beautiful Isabella," He said, kissing me sweetly his hands holding my hips as he watched me lovingly, "I love you, forever."

"I will always love you, Carlisle Cullen," I said and he nodded, "My heart, mind, and soul will always belong to you. You're on my pedestal."

"This isn't the end," He said, "We'll get back up and I will come for you."

"Please don't," I said, "Any fight would give Jake an excuse to hurt you, and I can't live with that Carlisle, I just can't."

"Bella," He said breathlessly as he took me back up into his arms.

I tried to etch this scene in my mind. The way his arms formed perfectly around me. His perfect, comforting, antique smell, and the way my chin rested perfectly on his shoulder. I pressed my lips to the nearby skin of his neck, relishing in the cool and perfect feel of it under my lips. I whined as he pulled away a slight inch and then moaned into his mouth as it attached to mine. I let the euphoria of his kiss overtake me and literally felt like I was drifting upward, floating on air.

We stopped a few seconds later, him wanting me to be able to catch my breath. I stripped his shirt off as I rested my head near his neck. I pulled it off, letting my hands trail down his cold muscle before he let me push him over. I then carefully laid myself to his side, and he cuddled me there with my head on his chest as I traced his muscles.

"Make love to me?" I requested and he shook his head.

"It will only make it worse, Babe," He said, "When we have to be separated."

"I want you to be my first," I replied and he nodded.

"Me too," He said, "I'll get you back, just wait for me."

"Forever," I said, snuggling into him further, "I need you. How am I going to live without seeing you?"

"You can do it," He said, "Just know that I love you, forever."

We cuddled like that for a few minutes before Jasper and Alice came back in. Alice still looked angry, despite all the reassurance and strength Jasper was filling the room with. I curled myself to Carlisle's side as I realized I hadn't taken my snow suit off. Carlisle kept my close as we walked out of the house.

I clung to him, not wanting to let go as we reached the driveway and Jake and his friends reappeared. I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed Carlisle with everything that I had, knowing that he was my true love, and my heart breaking as I pulled away, and looked into his beautiful eyes.

"I will always love you, Carlisle," I said, kissing him again quickly before letting go of him, and walking across the invisible line on the driveway over to Jake and his pack.