A/N: Hey, sorry for the wait… sad little chapter… but on another note… as this story is winding down (Rocky next few chapters) I have my next one lined up (AU human)… the only thing is I would like to find a Beta for that one… so if you're interested… leave it in a review or pm me… Read. Enjoy. Review…

Trip Around the Sun

Chapter Twenty – The Reservation

The day after Christmas I sat gloomily on Jake's couch down in La Push. Emily was keeping a worried eye on me while Sam and Jake spoke animatedly. I nodded and smiled when Jake looked back to me, and as soon as he looked away I returned to my pout and self loathing. I missed Carlisle so much, all I wanted was to get in my car and go back to him. I longed to feel his arms around me again, and I looked at my phone, hoping he would call, but knowing he wouldn't.

"Bella," said Emily after a few minutes, "Would you mind coming for a walk with me?"

"Sure," I said absent mindedly as I stood up and Jake stood up too.

"Do you want me to come too, Bella?" He asked and a creepy shiver went down my spine.

"I'll be fine," I said as I tried to cross the room, but I was too slow and Jake kissed my cheek.

I immediately felt nauseous, like I literally felt like I was going to throw up all over the place. Emily took my arm and steadied me a little before leading me out of Jake's house towards the road. She kept her hand on my back until we reached the beach, and I felt better the minute the sea breeze hit my face.

"You ok, Bella?" asked Emily, she really was a good friend.

"No," I said as I sat down in the sand, and Emily plopped down beside me.

"You miss him, huh?" She said, putting an arm around me.

"So much," I said, rubbing my eye to make sure the tears weren't going to start falling again, they would just make Jake mad, and I didn't want him mad, he might take it out on Carlisle, "He loves me so much…"

"Jake?"

"Carlisle," I said and Emily nodded, but she didn't look as if she understood.

"Bella, if Carlisle just gave you up like that…"

"He didn't," I corrected her, throwing her arm off me, and she looked concerned, "He was going to fight, I just couldn't let him. The pack is so much bigger than the Coven, they would have killed him, Emily. I made him let me go."

"Oh," she said, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," I said, sniffling a little and she shook her head.

"Sam's the pack leader, I could have made him…"

"Emily," I said, "You can't make him do anything,"

"I could have."

"It's ok, Emily," I said tears starting to slow, "Just don't tell Sam that I took the dive so Carlisle wouldn't die. I have a feeling it would piss Jake off and it would end in a dead Carlisle anyways."

"I won't," said Emily, "You love Carlisle, a lot."

"More than anything," I said as a grabbed a fistful of sand, and letting it slip through my fingers.

"Bella," said Emily a few minutes after I zoned out looking over the ocean, fingering my necklace.

"Yeah," I said, playing with the locket, I had convinced Jake that it was from my grandmother and wore it everywhere.

"Where did you get that necklace?" Emily asked curiously and I simply opened it, and let her look inside.

"He gave it to me for Christmas," I said, as she looked it over, "It's his family crest."

"That's so sweet," said Emily as I closed it, I couldn't handle looking at that picture of us right now.

"Yeah," I said as I looked back over the water, "He's a sweetheart."

"Does your stomach hurt?"

"No, why?"

"Oh, I would have brought you to the doctor," She said and I smiled, chuckled at her attempt.

"Don't think that will make Jake mad at all," I said sarcastically.

"He can't expect you to switch doctors," said Emily and I nodded.

"He's already working on it," I said and she shook her head, "Besides, Alice isn't speaking to me, but I was texting Jasper earlier and he said that Carlisle hadn't come out of his office since I left, he didn't go to work."

"Why don't you text him?" said Emily, "It's not like you didn't text Jake while you were with Carlisle."

"Jake's not as understanding as Carlisle," I said, "And Carlisle knew that I had no feelings for Jake, while Jake knows that I love Carlisle."

"Rough spot," said Emily and I nodded.

"Besides, he looked so hurt while I was leaving," I said, "I just want him to heal."

"Will he?"

"Probably not," I said, sniffing a little.

"Sorry," said Emily, rubbing my back soothingly.

"You ok, Bella?" Jake called as he and Sam headed down the beach to meet us.

"Fine," I said, trying to pull it together before he got there, "I think I'm going to head home soon."

"Ok," said Jake, "As long as your actually going to be home."

"Jake, Alice and Jasper are my friends," I said, "I can't promise I won't go over there. It's not like I want to see Carlisle right now anyways, not with you threatening to kill him if I do."

"I have no problems with them coming to your house, minus the doc," said Jake, "I just don't want him around, Bella."

"And my dad doesn't want you around," I said, rolling up my sleeves so Jake could see the bruises, the minute I did it I knew it was a low blow, "He's friends with Charlie too Jake, he'll be over."

"Whatever, I just don't want you with him," said Jake and I rolled my eyes.

"I think you have made that abundantly clear," I said annoyed and Jake rolled his eyes.

"Bella," said Jake threateningly and in that second I missed Carlisle's added protection.

"I'm here," I said, "As you requested, and I am going home. You leave him alone. You'd need your pack anyways."

"Excuse me?" said Jake.

"You would never take him one on one, and only because you know he'd win, if the teams were even," I said, "But I'm here, and I'm with you now, so you leave him the hell alone, Jake. He's going to have to see me with you, and that's enough torture."

It is for me anyways…

"Fine," said Jake as I got up and Jake forcefully kissed me.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine I was kissing Carlisle, but it wasn't working. Jake was just to opposite of my perfect Carlisle. Jake's body was burning and Carlisle's was cold, they were opposites right down their physical appearances to their temperaments. I couldn't wait to get away from Jake, and I just about ran away as I pulled away from him.

I hopped into my truck and shot right back to Forks, pulling into my driveway and noticing, while Charlie wasn't home yet, Jasper was waiting for me in the driveway. I got out and I still had a few tears in my eyes. He came right over and hugged me quickly before reflecting exactly what I felt on his face.

"I'm doing to go nuts and jump off something with all the misery coming off you and Carlisle," He said sending me happier waves with a lot of concentration.

"Please help make him feel better," I said and Jasper nodded as he gave me another hug.

"Just telling him that Jake didn't totally trash that necklace of yours will help him," said Jasper, "That and you're still wearing it."

"Thanks Jasper," I said and he nodded, wow just talking to Jasper I felt so much better, "Alice still pissed at me?"

"Not so much," He said as we headed towards the house, "She's just angry in general, she can't see hardly anything with you anymore because that guy."

"Sorry," I said and Jasper shrugged as we walked into the living room.

"Not your fault," said Jasper.

"Tell him I miss him?"

"Was already planning on it," said Jasper as he sank onto the couch, and I sat next to him.

"Where is Alice?"

"Pissed off at you," said Jasper, "Or so she thinks, really she's just pissed off that it all went this bad."

"Oh, hey Jasper," said Charlie as he walked in, "Where's the other half, you have a fight?"

"No," said Jasper.

"We did," I said and Charlie nodded.

"She mad your hanging around with Jake again too?" said Charlie, a little red in the face, "Can't imagine what your dad thinks, Jasper."

"Yeah, he's pissed," said Jasper casually and Charlie nodded.

"Me too," said Charlie, "I don't want him in the house, Bells."

"I won't bring him here," I said and Jasper nodded in agreement.

"If I see that kid without his stupid possy," said Jasper, trailing off and Charlie nodded.

"I could arrange that," He said, and I shook my head.

"Enough," I said, not wanting to imagine who Jake's rage would land on if Jasper beat him up.

"I wouldn't let him walk away, Bella," said Jasper as Charlie walked into the kitchen, "The only aftermath would be the missing posters."

"Shut up Jasper," I said.

"Hey, Carlisle sent me to cheer you up," said Jasper quietly so Charlie wouldn't hear him.

"Well go back and cheer him up, I'm more worried about him," I said and Jasper rolled his eyes.

"I will never understand either of you," He said, and he disappeared, presumably running back to do as I requested.