a/n: I appologize for the outburst of the previous chapter. To all my other fantastic reviewers-thanks SO much. You guys rock my socks, and I hope I don't loose you over it!
Well, so much for her being anything but a ghost.
I'm fully awake almost instantly, sitting up as her distressed form flickers between Edith and her natural apperance, like a bad connection.
"Stop that," I bark, as she does it again, hand over her mouth. "Look, you don't have to-"
She blinks. "But you-this human is-"
I grab, shake her gently. "Edith was very special, yes. That doesn't mean I'm not going to listen, or help you, because you're not her. Same for Bones, and Spock."
She blinks. "But the way you look when I am her-so soft, and tender-" She seems to jerk out of it. "I miss seeing such a look."
She had a lover, then. No wonder she came to me as the woman I loved. Not only yo get the attention- she used everyone close to us for that- but for me, specifically, because she-because-she…..is standing very close.
I push her away again gently.
"Who is trying to kill me?" I ask gently, trying to figure out not only how a murderer would get through Starfleet but past Bones, Spock, and myself. I feel-contaminated, suddenly. This is the Enterprise, it is home and safety no matter what is out there in the darkness of space, and now there is something sinister creeping unnoticed inside her.
And it's not the first time.
"Him," She whispers pathetically, still as Edith, still with her hand on my cheek. "He loved me, but not-me, he loved her, like you do this person, but I'm not this person and I wasn't her and I can't be not really I can't be!"
I try to sort that rambling mess out in my head, stroking her back soothingly. "You could take on other forms…..before?" I ask cautiously, and she nods, pressing her face into my chest. "And you….pretended to be someone else for a man."
"He loved her so." She whispers. "I just wanted-that."
But he didn't love you, I think. And when you couldn't really be the woman he did love…..
"He killed you over it."
She whimpers and nods into my chest again. And when she pulls back, her form ripples and blurrs, and when she I clear and I can focuse on her again I recognize, with a jolt, who I am staring at.
A pretty little black-haired yeoman I'd seen once or twice- her name was Lilisa Monroe, I remember her because she'd been so incredibly tiny. Black haired and blue eyed, with fair skin and a nearly constant smile.
But Lilisa isn't dead. Which means she wasn't pretending to be a member of my crew.
"….He kept you secret?" I ask. She flickers forms again, taking on Edith's once more.
"Yes," She whispers, turning away from me.
"How?"
"I could be unseen even alive." She says. "Change shape, be unseen, much I can do now, in death. I came with him as such. He brought me because he knew he could not have her. And when he killed me intead of her-I was glad." She turns, tears in her eyes again. "That poor girl would have died. Will still die, if you don't stop him."
"And why did you say 'wants to kill me'?" I ask, eyebrow raised. I am no beautiful young girl. I'm used to people wanting me dead. I'm used to people wanting me dead for any number of reasons, but they all, eventually, end up being about Enterprise, or because of something from my academy years-only once or twice is it ever actually about me. And in this case, I can't really see how I come into play here.
Her smile is gentle, sympathetic, but it is edged with that expresion that means you're missing something painfully obvious, and she reaches for my face.
"He wants her. She wants you. I want you. You want this person. This person is dead." She says quietly, hand shaking. "He hates you because she wants you. Because I wanted you."
I feel…..a little flattered and a little stalked at the same time. I brush a hand over hers, tip my head to kiss her palm softly, shivering as her other hand runs down my chest. "I need to know who this person is." I say, wanting to pull her hand away from my chest, knowing I should do that,unable to make myself. "I can't get him off my ship if you don't give me a name, or a face-"
She leans up with her mouth inches from my ear, lips moving soundlessly against my flesh. She says a name, her voice low, whimpering, and then presses her lips to mine. Her tears are wet on my skin.
When she pulls away again, she is herself, in all her beauty, and I press a thumb to her lips. She trembles and closes her eyes. "I loved you, James Kirk." She whispers. "The more I knew you, even though I knew you'd never see me, never know me, I did love you."
I kiss her gently, tipping her head up. She is not Edith. She does not even smell, or taste, or feel, or kiss like Edith did. It's like drinking champagne, kissing her; my lips tingle, then my whole body. I feel warm and a little light headed. Her hands are on my face, and her smell-of spring and nature-fills my nose. She's cold, and soft, and her skin erupts in sparks where it brushes over mine, and our lips make similar sparks, but they are less brillant. Silver, instead of gold. She presses closer to me, the swell of her breasts against my chest, her beautiful eyes closed, leg between mine, rubbing along me like a cat begging for attention. Her tounge finds it's way into my mouth and for one, wild moment, I think I'm kissing a dead woman I'm kissing a dead women I had sex with- and then there is no more coherent thought, because she bites my lower lip and draws blood that she laps at gently, and I can't think at that precise moment.
She pulls away, her fingers on my wounded lip. She's glowing. Literally. She's beaming at me, this slow, soft smile, and she is just stunning. I reach for her wings, touching my fingers to one and setting off more gold glitters. She gives it a flutter and the glitters surround both of us, spirling around like they're caught in a wind. Golden and glowing, and her eyes are filled with tears and when I lean in to kiss her again- her, this beautiful woman who's name I don't even know, this beautiful ghost who gives everything to the men she loves- she gasps and gives a little, broken sob. "Oh," She whimpers, "that's what it's like."
And she bursts. Golden explosive sparks around me, around the room, everywhere. I can't see or breath or smell or hear, I can't do anything but try to keep my balance desperately as the sparks twirl dizzying circles around me frantically until she suddenly goes up, and out, and then there is yelling and phaser fire from just outside my door, and everything happens at once.
_____________________________________________________________________________________