Neji had never noticed before the look in the taller man's eyes when he looked at him, never noticed before how shy he got around him nor did he ever notice directly how the younger man made him feel warm with his presence until he heard what Tenten said. Yes he'd heard her and the look on Shikamaru's face told him that he shouldn't have. He wasn't going to say anything until the younger man brought it up but he wish he knew how he felt in return. He didn't know how long he sat there but soon he got sleepy and lay down next to the deer man not aware of what he was doing at that moment.
Shikamaru didn't notice when he woke up and shifted toward the warmth at his side but he knew he was content once he wrapped the warmth in his arms. Neji was having a dream, a bad one, his usual one but when he was wrapped in Shikamaru's arms his dreams disappeared and s small smile made its way onto his sleeping face. Hours later the sun rose and threatened to blind them in its intensity. They both opened their eyes and look at each other, their reactions completely different. Shikamaru smiled and wanted to kiss the other man but when Neji realized what position he was in he pulled away from the Nara.
The look Neji got for this action made him feel guilty about having pulled away and Shikamaru sighed. He stood up and was going to leave the Hyuuga, deciding that Neji wasn't ever going to accept him after all. When he was kneeling on his knees about to fully stand he was suddenly being pulled back, the force behind it knocking him back on his butt.
"Wait!" Came Neji's quietly urging voice and Shikamaru looked at him shocked. Neji looked away from him but what Shikamaru had seen in those eyes gave him some hope.
"Why'd you come here Neji?" He asked now remembering last night and he was suddenly anxious about if the older man had heard the girl's words. Neji said nothing. Why did I come here? The silence grew between them and they both hoped the other couldn't hear the way their hearts were beating too fast. Shikamaru put a hand on Neji's cheek and pulled his head up and looked at the Hyuuga's pale eyes and repeated his question. "Why'd you come here Neji?"
"I- I… well… you… you were crying." Neji looked down and blushed hoping the other couldn't see his face redden but Shikamaru saw. Neji took a breath and said in a quiet voice, semi hoping the other man didn't hear what he said. "You were crying and the look on your face, it hurt me and I'm not sure why, I needed to see you. To find out why you're crying." He looked up at the Nara and his voice grew a little louder. "Was it for me? Were you crying because of me?" Shikamaru looked shocked again and started to shake his head but sighed instead. He didn't want to say anything right now. It was too soon.
"So bothersome. It's complicated Neji." He started to pull away again but the hand he had had on Neji's face was suddenly in a strong hold. His eyes got wider when he saw the hurt and the anger in those pale eyes he loved so much.
"Don't you dare walk away from me without an explanation Shikamaru Nara!" The younger man could feel the anger pulsing off the other man and he couldn't quite tell why he was so upset.
"Neji, you aren't ready for what I have to say, let go." Neji shook his head and pulled on his arm some. Shikamaru sighed and looked at Neji and he could tell that he wasn't ready but that he was going to be adamant about this so instead of putting into words how he felt Shikamaru pushed forward. He trapped both of Neji's hands between his and the ground and he straddled him. "You really want to know?" His voice was hoarse with trying to hold back his emotions and himself. Neji had frozen when Shikamaru pushed him down but at his tone and question he snapped out of it and nodded slowly.
Shikamaru gave a low growl suddenly angry for Neji making him take this premature step. He leaned down until his lips almost touched the others and the hitch in Neji's breathing made Shikamaru glad he wasn't sitting directly on him, and that kneeling on his knees was the best. He moved his mouth to Neji's ear and noted the goose bumps that appeared on the usually smooth skin.
"You got it then." He whispered into Neji's ear slowly and the shiver that ran down Neji's back made him clench his fist and bit his tongue to hold back a moan. Shikamaru pulled back and looked into Neji's eyes and Neji looked back at him. What Neji saw made his heart stop; never before had he seen that look directed at him, never before had he seen that much feeling behind this look. He felt it even more when Shikamaru leaned down and pressed his lips against Neji's. First he did it lightly but the feel of the other's lips on his was slowly driving Shikamaru crazy with want. Neji wanted to sigh at the contact and he knew already he wanted more and this was something new for him, he was suddenly a little nervous.
He kissed Neji passionately and felt something stir on the inside when Neji responded to the kiss. He licked the shorter man's lips and Neji opened his mouth in a gasp and Shikamaru took advantage and dove his tongue inside the other's mouth. He played with Neji's tongue glad when the other responded in kind. When he couldn't take the lack of oxygen anymore Shikamaru pulled back. Panting they looked at each other and they both noted how the other's cheeks were red and the darkened lust within the other's eyes. Shikamaru pulled away from Neji and sat a few feet away leaning his head on his knees; looking at Neji; he had pulled up against his body with his arms wrapped around them.
Neji looked at him curiously and sat up starting to move toward the Nara. But the younger man shook his head and buried his head in his arms trying to calm his body. Never before had he wanted to lose control like this, never before had he ever considered how one simple kiss, his first kiss even would drive him so much. It scared the usually lazy and analytical Nara but no matter how he looked at it, he wanted more, but he didn't want to hurt Neji in the process.
"Shikamaru? Wha… what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Shikamaru's head snapped up and he stared incredulously. Neji thought he'd done something wrong? How this man in front of him had come to that realization?! Neji couldn't help but feel that he'd done something wrong; did he not react fast enough? Should he have moaned like he had wanted to or should he have pushed back into the kiss?
"Why would you think you've done something wrong?" Neji shifted and looked down, his hair falling in front of his face.
"Why would you pull away from me like that?" Shikamaru's arms fell to the ground and he pushed himself up starting to move back over to Neji but stopped himself and sat back down.
"Because I only want you to know how I feel. I don't want to hurt you. Neji… please look at me." The older man slowly looked up and Shikamaru saw the tears starting to form.
"I… I don't get it… you kiss me then pull away. What the hell is wrong with you?! How can you show someone how you feel when you do one thing then contradict yourself the next instant?" Neji stood up the tears rolling down his face. As he yelled at Shikamaru one arm swung in front of him and back down to his side accenting his point. Shikamaru sat back suddenly a little afraid of the man in front of him. Neji moved forward pinning Shikamaru down underneath him. "I want to know how you feel. Tell me or you won't move from this spot again." The tone he used let Shikamaru know he wasn't kidding and he looked at the emotional man in front of him.
"I…" He paused and glanced away before looking defiantly back up at Neji. "You want to know how I feel?! I feel like my heart is being ripped out every time I see those tears on your face. I feel like killing someone every time you get hurt. I feel like I'm falling off a cliff when you don't look at me." He pushed back against the Hyuuga until they were sitting in front of each other. "Neji, I love you. I always have and knowing you're in love with another man I never said something. Knowing that man you love just married your cousin and seeing how it makes you cry, that hurts me!
You think your heart is broken, try loving someone else and see them throw themselves at another man WHILE you keep quiet and know that no matter how hard you try," tears started running down Shikamaru's face, "you can't bring yourself to tell the other person because you know they're not ready for your love while their pinning after someone else." He stopped and Neji sat there looking at him with such a look that Shikamaru couldn't help but start laughing. "You can say that's exactly how you feel, but I don't buy it! Not one bit. You have plenty of people in love with you, most of us have moved on, but Tenten," Neji winced at the name, "and I haven't! The only person you had to compete for Naruto's," The Hyuuga lowered his head, "love was your own cousin! I had four people to compete with!
Did I ever say anything? Did I ever force you to do something? Did I ever hang on you or make you feel bad about yourself for not being around me like they all did? NO! I left you alone and I suffered for every hurt you felt and every time you got depressed, god you should have seen me!" Neji shook his head and went to stand up. Shikamaru grabbed his hand and pulled him back down and into his arms. "Neji, I don't want to hurt you, that is why I pulled away after kissing you.
I knew that if I didn't we'd do something you're not ready for and that you might regret later and I want you to have no regrets concerning me." Neji's body shook in his arms as he cried. Shikamaru was right, he wasn't ready for this, and he wasn't ready to have heard his confession. It rocked him to his core and he didn't know what to do, so he did nothing as the Nara held him and ran a hand continuously through his hair. When Neji calmed down a bit he pulled away and looked at Shikamaru.
"You're right, I wasn't ready to hear that, but what makes you think I'd regret anything I did with you?" He said with both an innocent look and a devilish one. Shikamaru didn't know how he pulled that one off, but he did. Shikamaru shook his head and stood up, leaving Neji on the ground.
"Because I know you Neji Hyuuga. I've watched you for years; I've seen through all your masks, I know your every move. You can't fool me with your bravado." He turned stuffing his hands in his pockets and started to leave but soon was stopped as he was being hugged from behind.
"I may surprise you yet Shikamaru Nara." Neither one of them moved as their worlds slowly collided. They were not aware of the affects of these confessions, nor did they realize how it would destroy some relationships while it built others up.
Ok, this is all I have for now, I'll up load as soon as possible.