Title: Valentine's Day Prezzie
Author: Sare Liz
Disclaimer: Belongs to JKR and associates
Pairing: VK/HG
Rated: PG
Notes: Happy Valentine's Day!

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Vot is this that you say?"

"Shh…"

"Vy are ve not flying, Hermione?"

"Because! You need to explore the full range of life at Hogwarts. Dissendium!"

"Is small hole – vill I fit, you think?"

"No one's coming. Let's try."

"…Ooof."

"Shh! Here I come. I'll shut it after me, so it'll be dark. Oh, I – eek! …um, hi. Sorry about this. Are you, um, are you okay? Oh! No, that's my leg. Oh, …that's nice."

"Mmm – I know is your leg."

"Oh… oh!"

"Is not my leg."

"I'd figured that out, Viktor. Shut up and kiss me some more."

"…Mmm… Is my present, this?"

"This? …um…no…not…exactly. Oh yes, that's nice. Totally unplanned. …Viktor, you're, um, growling."

"You are doing that thing vit your hips. Aaaah… of course I am growling…"

"Oh! We should, mm… probably…"

"Da."

"So. I'll just, oh sorry – I'm having some problems, here. Ooof. Thanks. There are stairs here that go down pretty far. And then, you know, it's a bit of a walk."

"Lumos."

"Thanks."

"Mmm… Vere ve go? You are telling me, now?"

"Do you want to know, or do you want it to be a surprise? I mean, it's not a huge surprise, you know, but it's a bit of one."

"I vait. Is okay. Vere does this road go?"

"It's called a secret passageway. There are about seven of them out of the castle, but only about two of them are available. And the other one even fewer people know how to use. Anyway, so far as we can tell, they all lead to Hogsmeade. This one comes out in the basement of a sweets shop. The one we'll take back comes out in the basement of a house. It's supposed to be the most severely haunted house in all of Britain. That's not true, of course, but I can tell you about that later."

"Ve haff time. Vy is not true?"

"Oh. Well. For a while it was sort of a safe house for a werewolf during transformations. Got pretty loud, you know? And rumors spread, of course. I don't think there's so much as a poltergeist, but the house does wobble a bit."

"Vot is word – vobble?"

"Oh. Wiggle, shiver, shake, rock, sway – the house moves slightly, back and forth."

"I see. …Is stairs ahead, there?"

"Yes. We should probably lower our voices. Oh!"

"Vait. Come here for moment."

"What are you – …oh. Mmm, Viktor."

"…Sorry. You know, if you vant to be kissing me some of these times, you can be just grabbing me and kissing me, also."

"What, like this?"

"…Da. Very like this. Now ve go?"