Edward

Can you tell me, softly
How you'll always haunt me
Can you help me
Hold me
Come to me now, slowly
You caress me, smoothly
Calm my fears and soothe me
Move your hands across me
Take my worries from me

I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
To clear my conscience

Sacrifice- Tatu

I slowly resurfaced, coming out of the depths id been lost in.

I could see the sun was streaming in through the French doors that led out into our little garden,from the where i was lying in the closet. It came to my attention in a few seconds I wasnt alone as fingers went slowly through my hair and the smell of freesias was too strong to be coming from the sweater clutched in my hand. Someones arm was around my torso while the other was holding my head while her hand stroked my face.

"Bella" i said sitting up, blinking in uncertanty. It would just be conveniant for me to have gone senile.

She was there and looked relieved, her smile was sad but kind. She sat up with me.

"Bella", what wonderfull thing to find after that wretchedness. I lifted my hand, to brush her cheek with my fingertips. It occurred to me then as i touched her skin, she'd seen what id been going through...whatever it was that i just had gone through. My mind couldnt even wrap around what i'd just suffered, it was so vast. I dropped my hand. I didnt know if i was allowed to touch her anymore, i certantly didnt deserve too. Although she looked upset when i did pull away or maybe because id touched her in the first place.

"Are you okay" she whispered her voice breaking on the last word. She was worried. About me?

"Yes ofcourse, your here." I told her smiling. Half of it was true, I was glad she was here I was just scared about when she'd have to leave again. I could see she didnt believe me, I wouldnt of either.

"Im...sorry you had to see that" i said looking at the floor. It was pathetic I couldnt cope through that, fight through it. Bella deserved a stronger man. I felt my face collapse. What was going to happen now?

"Edward.."

"Wheres Renenessmee?", I asked quickly, scared to know what she was going to say., "How is she?"

"Shes with Charlie. She's better. I spent the whole morning explaining what Rose meant." she didnt sound angry, as i expected. She sounded tired, always taking me by surprise.

"What do you mean 'explaining what rose meant'?" i asked confused. It was obvious what Rose meant. I shuttered at the flash of memory infront of my eyes.

"That you were all just concerned for me. That you didnt know what the out come of pregnancy would be. You were scared that I wouldnt make it, but I knew I would and Rose believed me quicker. But from the moment you heard her mind from inside me you loved her, you all did. I added that you over think things." Bella said smiling at me sheepishly as she finished her sentence.

"And she accepted that,did she?" my throat felt dry. Bella hadnt said one bad word about us, had defended us. What had i just thought? i felt disgusted with myself. How could i think something like that, then again i'd done a few things i didnt think i was capable of.

"Ofcourse she did. Its the truth" she said looking confused and then unsure when she said "Isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." I said swiftly. "I just meant..i thought she'd be furious, i thought you would be too" Time to face the damage.

"She still is a little but mostly with Rose. She miss's you all" she said affectionately.

"You didnt....what about you" I said, determined to keep my eyes on her face, I deserved to see the damage i'd caused.

"Im fine" she said looking away quickly and around the closet, avoiding my eyes.

I sighed. Even if i wasnt allowed too, I took her face in both my hands making her turn to face me, so I could read her eyes.

"No your not" I stated somberly. Everything i feared i'd inflicted flooded into those perfect eyes. Pain, betrayl, worry, uncertainty.

"Im sorry about last night Bella, you have no idea." i inserted before she could say anything.

"I know", she whispered.

"No Bella, you dont." I sighed. I was still holding her face and looked into her eyes as i told her truthfully," I never really fully believed you would do such a thing. Really. But id be a liar if I didnt tell you I didnt listen to what they were thinking. All of their panic leaked into my own thoughts, I know its not an excuse but its the truth." i took another deep breath, "Rose scared me, her thoughts were getting more hysteric. More erratic. She was over thinking everything, she was terrified and it made her act the way she did.", Bella growled, obviously not satisfied with Rose's motive, "Bella, Nessie is the closest thing Rose could ever have as a daughter. Losing her would be like losing Emmett." I let this sink in and continued when Bella looked more understanding. "Her plan was to take Nessie, she told herself it would be for a few days until we sorted out the situation. She wanted to keep her safe. Thats why I held her too me for so long, I worried she would just take off. Why I didnt make Jasper release you, even when it killed me to watch and hear you hurt." I released her face and watched as she considered what I just said.

"Edward im so sorry!" she she wailed causing me to jump in alarm.

"What?" i said baffeld. What could she possible be apologising for. How could she twist something to take the blame on herself.

"For all of it",she cried,"For taking her away, for making our family fight. For making you feel so awful i found you like that",she winced as she finished looking at me pleadingly.

She was diabolical. Before i knew it i was looking down at her shouting.

"What the hell could you be sorry for Bella!?, I made you leave last night, I didnt believe in you enough to convince the others that you wouldnt do this as we raced home. My state that you found me has made you take pity on me and made you feel .." i choked," i wont blame you if you dont love me anymore"

She was standing infront of me in an instant, her hands sliding up my face untill they clutched my hair.

"Dont you ever say that again." she spoke quietly but feircely, "Never think i dont love you, you couldnt do anything vile enough to make me not love you Edward Cullen."

Even though it wasnt the time or the place and even though the situation hadnt been even close to sorted out,our lips met half way between the small distance between us and still it wasnt close enough. I wraped my arm around her waist and pulled her roughly to me.

I felt as if I were floating, she still loved me, my worst fear seemed so silly now. Her hands were still in my hair holding my lips to hers and i twisted her round as i knelt so we were on the floor, my fingers brushing under her shirt, testing the waters. Not confident she wouldnt think we were going too fast. She moaned into my mouth and it was enough to convince me. I trailed kisses down her neck and planted each one on the skin a button hid as i undid them. I moved up to help her slip the fabric off her shoulders. She caught my mouth and kissed me passionatly. Her hands ran over shoulders and down my chest causing me to shutter with pleasure as she pulled my sweater up over my head. Gliding her hands over the bare skin of my chest and then up my back pulling me closer. I broke free of her lips, leaving her breathing heavily and started trailing kisses down her neck and across her chest,along her stomach making her arch and whisper my name.

I undid her jean button with my teeth and pulled them off and through them the length of the closet so they hit the mirror. I could feel the longing building up in me, the need for her and it got worse when she moaned my name. I kissed her hip and then poked my tongue out letting it glide over her skin, between the dip of her waist, up her body untill i was at the hollow of her throat. I pulled back then to look at eyes were hungry as they roamed over my face, her soft, dark brown hair was faned out around her. She was so beautiful.

"What" she said devensivily as i stared at her for long enough to make her embarrassed. I smiled down at her and ran my fingers over her cheek.

"Your just perfect." i whispered tenderly.

She pulled my face down to hers and wrapped her legs around my waist. The need for her was getting out of control, apparantly for her too as her hands slipped over my chest again to undo my trousers. I kicked them off and the shift of my body made her moan more loudly. That did it. I ripped the remaining material away from her body and then Bella was everywhere.

She was all i could see,all i could feel, all i could smell. I was drowining in her, suffocating in her. And i loved it.

Her legs tightened around my waist holding me as close as possible and her delicate fingers ran roughly through my hair occasionaly slipping possessively over my chest or back causing me to moan or shutter. She whispered my name in my ear and nipped the skin underneath it with her teeth. Kissing my neck, I kissed any part of her i could reach. One arm pillowing her head and my free hand exploring her body.

I needed her so badly it hurt, with my free hand i hooked my arm under her leg and pulled it further back. She said my name louder and more frequently and i kissed her lips each time she did.

The drowining and the suffocating was coming to its peak and Bella screamed out my name as she was pulled into ecstasy and i soon followed and all i could see was a starry night and smell the scent of freesia's.

My vision cleared and i pushed up out off Bellas neck to look at her. She put a gentle hand on my cheek and I turned my face into it.

"I love you." she whispered

"I love you more" I told her truthfully and kissed her as she opened her mouth to protest. I felt her laugh underneath me and we fell into our dance again.