Author's Note: Why hello there, reader! I finally got around to uploading this. I wrote this sometime last week, but didn't upload it in time. But don't worry. You'll get three chapters this weekend, because I am feeling extremely generous. I have actually finished through Chapter Twelve. You'll get those two, and perhaps thirteen and fourteen next week! However, the week after that I'm gone for a mission project. I'll work on it in my notebook while I'm gone, so when I return Conceit and Contemptuousness will too!
Disclaimer: If I owned iCarly I would be an old guy named Dan Schnieder. I am obviously not him. Nothing here belongs to me.
This whole story is true. It's actually my cousin's writing.
Nah, I'm just kidding.
I'm rambling. Not good. When I went to see Riverdance I rambled on and on....
Anywho, without further ado, Chapter Eight!
Conceit and Contemptuousness
Chapter Eight
The next day breakfast proceeded as usual except for the notable absence of one Miss Collins. I had avoided her company for the rest of last night, and hoped to do the same today. I had no doubt that she intended to force something upon me; said something starting with an m- and ending with –atrimony.
Unfortunately, our peaceful, silent morning routine was interrupted by the intrusion of that which I had hoped had left. But alas, it was not so.
"I would like to speak to Mr. Freddie Bennet alone," She stated. My mother got this gleam in her eye and ordered everyone to the living room.
"Wait!" I pleaded. "Miss Collins cannot possibly have anything to say that everyone can't hear!"
"Nonsense, darling," Mother said, then closed the door, leaving Miss Collins and I alone in the expansive dining room.
"Freddie," Miss Collins began, and I braced myself for the inevitable. "As you know, my small rectory abuts the estate of my esteemed patron, Rosings Park. Lord de Briggs has made it clear that he wishes me to take a husband as soon as possible. I would be honored if you would accept my hand in marriage." And there it was. Plain as the nose on my face.
"No," I said. "I am sorry, Miss Collins, but I am afraid that I must refuse." She didn't seem fazed by my refusal.
"No matter," she said. "I am well aware of your kind's feelings on appearing too forward."
"This is no joke!" I exclaimed. "I am not the kind of guy to lead someone on. I shall not, nor will I ever, accept your hand!" And with that I stormed out of the apartment, ignoring my frantic mother's pleas.
I don't know how long I ran, but I somehow found myself sitting on the bench in the park, looking out over the lake. Not five minutes later my parents appeared as well.
"Your mother insists upon you marrying Miss Collins." He began.
"Yes! Or I'll never see her again!" She interjected.
"Well, Freddie, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger to one of your parents..."
"Who will maintain you when your father's gone?" Mother wailed.
"Your mother will never see you again if you don't marry Miss Collins…" Father stated. "And I will never see you again if you do." I was shocked. I hugged my father with all my might.
"Thank you papa," I whispered in his ear. I walked back to the apartment. I was so glad to not have to marry the dreadful Miss Collins. But I knew some other unlucky duck would get her. I just prayed I didn't know the fellow.
Author's Note: Read and review! If you don't I will sick my friend's visciously cute miniature dachshund upon you who will distract you with her cuteness. Meanwhile my paid ninja assassins kidnap you and take you to my secret mountain lair, where I will torture you until you promise to review!
Not really.
But review... or else!