Author's Note: Hello, I'm back again. By the way I've started two new stories, Of Evenings in the Woods and Petticoats and Roses. Check them out!
Disclaimer: Most of this chapter belongs to whoever wrote the screenplay for Pride and Prejudice. I don't own it!
Conceit and Contemptuousness
Chapter Twelve
After the lecture Shane offered me a ride in the carriage back to their cottage. I told them I preferred to walk. That probably wasn't the best idea. The sky was once again overcast, and it began to rain not twenty minutes into my trek. I sprinted to the nearest shelter, and panted under the cover. And then I noticed I was not alone. Sam had come here too.
"Sam!" I exclaimed once again. She always seemed to turn up in the strangest places.
"Freddie," she began. "I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you… I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony."
"I don't understand," I interrupted.
"I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honor of accepting my hand." That last paragraph gave me quite a shock. I struggled to find the right words. She was looking at me intensely.
"Miss," I began. "I appreciate the struggle you have been through, and I am very sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done."
"Is this your reply?" she asked.
"Yes, Miss," I answered.
"Are you... are you laughing at me?" she faltered.
"No," was my response.
"Are you rejecting me?" she challenged.
"I'm sure that the feelings which, as you've told me have hindered your regard, will help you in overcoming it."
"Might I ask why, with so little endeavor at civility, I am thus repulsed?"
"And I might as well enquire why, with so evident a design of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgment. If I was uncivil, then that is some excuse. But I have other reasons, you know I have."
"What reasons?" she wondered.
"Do you think anything might tempt me to accept the hand of the man who has ruined, perhaps for ever, the happiness of a most beloved brother? Do you deny that you separated a young couple who loved each other, exposing your friend to censure of the world for caprice and my brother to derision for disappointed hopes, involving them both in misery of the acutest kind?"
"I do not deny it," she confessed.
"How could you do it!" I demanded.
"Because I believed your brother was indifferent."
"Indifferent!" I nearly shouted.
"I observed them most carefully and realized her attachment was far deeper than his."
"That's because he's shy!"
"Carly was modestly persuaded that he didn't feel strongly."
"Because you suggested it!"
"I did it for her own good!" she defended.
"My brother hardly shows his true feelings to me." We paused in uncomfortable silence.
"I suppose her fortune had some bearing." I retorted.
"No, believe me, I wouldn't do your brother the dishonor. It was just merely suggested…" she explained.
"What was?" I articulated.
"It was clear that an advantageous marriage would be the worst possible option."
"Did my brother give that impression?"
"No! No, there was, however, the matter of your family."
"Our want of connection? Miss Bingley did not seem to object?"
"No, it was more than that."
"How, Miss?" I contested.
"It was the lack of propriety shown by your mother, your three younger brothers, and even on occasion, your father!" she elaborated. I was surprised by the emotion that showed in her face.
"Forgive me," she apologized. "You and your brother I must exclude from this."
"And what about Miss Wickham?"
"Miss Wickham?" She interjected sarcastically.
"What excuse can you give for your behavior towards her? She told me of her misfortunes, and yet you treat her with sarcasm."
"So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty…"
"My pride!" I exploded.
"In admitting scruples about our relationship. Could you expect me to in the inferiority of your circumstances?"
"And those are the words of a lady. From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you were the last woman in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to marry." She stared at me with those haunting eyes. It seemed as though we were leaning in to each other; like we were about to… dare I write it, kiss. Suddenly she stopped and appeased.
"Forgive me, sir, for taking up so much of your time." With that she left and I was left to speculate by myself, surrounded by pouring rain.