Wasteland

Disclaimer : If I owned Twilight, I would have Jasper in my room right now. *Looks around* o_o ...Nope, still don't own it then. Oh well. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

I wanted to run.

I walked down the streets of Volterra as fast as I could without making the waking humans notice me more than needed. Although it was a cloudy day, there were other ways they would know if something was different with me, such as moving too fast.

As soon as I was out of the city, and away from suspicious eyes, I started running. I didn't feel as exhilarated as I usually did when I ran. Memories of what I had just seen, and done, kept coming to my mind. It made me want to scream and hit my head against something.

I came to a stop when I was in the forest some miles away. I was thankful for the clouds covering the sky; I didn't need to have my skin sparkle like millions of tiny diamonds and remind me even more of how much of a freak I was. I slumped down against a boulder in the shade, my fingers tangling themselves in my hair as I bent my head in shame.

It was an emotion I had become used to, and one I still loathed.

My head snapped up when a familiar scent came to me. My mind raced, trying to figure out why he was here, of all places. It wasn't long before my eyes found him, walking closer. A low snarl escaped my lips, almost against my will, and he stopped some distance away. "What are you doing here?" I snapped, demanding.

Edward's eyes seemed to search my face for a moment, and I could only guess how much of a mess I must look at that moment. The fact that he looked like a model who had walked off the pages of a fashion magazine certainly didn't help. I waited, as patiently as I allowed myself to be before growling. "Well?" Suspense wasn't something I enjoyed. Reality was torment enough as it was without it.

He sighed, leaning against the massive tree by his side before answering. "I came to check on you." I glared, my hands tightening in fists as I rose to my feet. A small sarcastic smile formed on my lips. "You came to check on me? What for? To see if I was still alive?" If the word alive could be used to describe us in the first place. I doubted it.

Edward shook his head, and I was surprised by his next statement. "I came to check on you and Alice, to tell the truth." Alice? He knew Alice was here? How? Had she called him? The sneer on my face disappeared as I looked at him in confusion. He, of course, heard my chaotic thoughts and answered. "Yes, she did call me. I came as soon as I could."

He paused, as if he didn't know where to begin. "Alice called a week ago, not long after you left. She said she had a vision of you going to the Volturi and asking them to end your life, much the same way as I did. She explained her reasons for joining them, and made me swear not to tell anyone else." He shoved his hands in his coat pocket, glaring at the ground. "Not that I agree with it, but I promised nonetheless."

"She called me again a few hours ago." He paused again. "She told me about the...meal." Images of the woman I had killed flashed before my eyes and I turned my gaze away uselessly. Although he knew that I had fed on human blood, I still didn't want him to see my eyes, to witness how weak I was. "She said you would come here, and asked me to make sure you were okay."

I frowned, turning my head back toward where he stood, but kept my eyes on the ground. "I'm fine." I cringed at how raspy my voice sounded.

Ever tried lying to someone who can read your thoughts? If not, then follow my advice; don't bother.

It was his turn to frown at me. "Yes, you're fine, and I'm the King of England." I glared at him for a moment, stubbornly refusing to speak or move. He sighed again, taking a few steps closer. "I don't like this any more than you do, but what else can we do?" He smiled a little, but his emotions only showed sadness. "You know it as well as I do; when Alice decides to do things her way, there's nothing we can do to change her mind."

The uncomfortable silence between us stretched on while I glared at my feet. I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to meet his gaze. "What are you going to do?" What was I going to do? I seriously didn't know. Curling up in a ball and hoping to die seemed like a good idea at the moment. A foolish, improbable idea, but still. "You know Carlisle and Esme would be more than happy to have you back home." He let out a small chuckle. "Even Rosalie misses having you around."

A small smile formed on my lips in spite of myself. Home. Yes, going home would've been nice. The smile faded. But it wasn't home without her. I shook my head, finally looking up at the man I had called my brother for many decades.

"No... I can't go back, not yet." I couldn't go back and face them. I couldn't face their constant concern over me, their grief over losing Alice... I sighed, dusting off my clothes absently. "Not yet." I repeated.

Edward nodded. "I understand. Just remember we'll be there if you need us."

"I know." Of course I knew. How many times had I messed up in the past? Too many, and yet they had always welcomed me back with open arms each time. And Alice had been there each time to hold me tight in her arms and tell me she loved me. I winced at the memory. I really needed to get away.

I took off running, leaving Edward behind me, away from my sweet, dear Alice.

My already broken heart only shattered more at the thought.

...Well! So much for not updating before next year. I got home frustrated after my day at work, and ended up writing this. It's not as long as I wanted it to be, but oh well.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed!