What is Worse than Feeling Nothing?

by mandymld

Jason loses everything even his identity while Elizabeth learns about Sam. What happens to a man who has lost what he knows, how does he go forward while going back. How do you get back what you throw away out of misplaced pain and anger.

13. Chapter 13

I am sending Spinelli over the edge, if you like the character even a bit, I wouldn't read this chapter.

Elizabeth didn't get a chance to answer as her cell phone started ringing. "Hello?"

"Elizabeth, it's Francis. We have the boys at your old place. But that Spinelli kid, he shot the maid."

"Alice?" she asked horrified. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know. Monica and I took the boys and left. We checked to make sure we weren't followed but I can't reach Jason. There is no answer on his cell."

"He... wait, he just arrived." she said turning around to rush over to the man getting off the elevator. "We are on our way."

"I don't think that is a good idea. You could led this kid straight to us and I only have one gun. The boys are fine for now. Just stay there and let the police protect the two of you. You didn't see this kid, he is unhinged." Said the guard. Elizabeth could feel Jason's fear and hugged him saying "Thanks, here's Jason."

Jason listened to the strange voice on the other end, then said grimly "I will protect her with my life."

Mac reached them and said "Let's hope that doesn't become necessary. Harper was at the mansion, he said Alice needs blood and stitched up, but that you might want to know, she let the kid in the door. Thankfully your man saw him coming from where he was talking to your mother about security and got the boys and her out the back door."

"Alice let him in." asked Jason sounding a lot like his alter ego. "She knows what he has been doing, what possible excuse could she have?"

"Honestly, I have no idea." said Mac who then went with them to see Epiphany who was arguing with Leo Julian about needing to be hospitalized.

"Piph, I am so sorry." Elizabeth said as she hugged her friend and boss. "This is all..."

"Don't you dare say your fault." she replied dangerously. "This is not your fault. This is Spinelli's fault. You are not to blame."

"She's right about you, Elizabeth but it is my fault." said Jason only to be told that no, it wasn't..

When he protested; Epiphany said "No, you aren't. Morgan wasn't at fault. Yes, he was feeling lonely and let that kid stay with him, but even he didn't know he was this crazy. There were signs, we all ignored them. I know that Stan didn't like him, but I dismissed it has his feeling replaced. Instead I was just happy he was no longer working for Morgan or Corinthos."

Audrey Hardy opened the curtains and looked out to see that computer geek standing on her porch and quietly backed up before he saw her. Heading to Steve's study, she called 911 and asked for help. Deciding the safest spot was beneath the desk, she hid and then pulled the chair in as close as she could.

Spinelli looked in the garage then came back to the front door. The evil one's most maternal unit's vehicle was there, but she seemed to be holed up in her fortress. Banging on the door with his gun, he saw the sled leaning against the porch swing and with a cold smile picked it up and smashed the window. Hearing the sirens, he swore then rushed off.

She wasn't his target anyhow. He wanted the evil doer and the unwanted spawn that had been stolen from his goddess. Escaping to the docks, he tried to figure out where to hide. Then he saw the old Corinthos warehouses that were now empty. Entering the office, he saw there was nothing left. No chairs, no tables and thankfully no police. When he returned to the coffee shop part of the warehouse, he quickly went through the drawers to find what he could.

Going through everything, he found the knives used to cut open the bags of coffee that used to come into the warehouse and with smile vowed to use one of them in honor of the love that had been stolen, but first he had to figure out where the evil one was.

Pacing back and forth, he never heard the someone slip in, until he saw the shadow and with the knife in his hand, stabbed the man. Hearing the thud of the body hitting the ground, Spinelli turned and saw that the man must have been working for the family that had unlawfully taken away Stone Cold's empire.

"Who are you?" he asked then saw the blond man struggling to breath in spite of the hole in his lungs.

Francis looked at the kid, then prayed he had never goggled Jason's older employees. "Roma's, I work for the Roma's. What are you doing here?"

Realizing his mistake, Spinelli said "Nothing that concerns you." Hurrying away, he was leaving the warehouse when he recalled how Stone Cold would sometimes disappear into the building across the docks. Entering it out of curiosity, he saw nothing that would interest his master there. Until he heard the high sounding voice of young laughter.

Following it, he saw the steel door and just knew that it was connected to his master. Hearing the sound of voices within, he gave a cold smile when he realized that the bastard children were in there. Knocking he heard the sounds stop then nothing for several minutes, finally he heard the sound of footsteps and slipped up a floor..

Seeing his master and the evil temptress who had stolen him away, Spinelli crept back down to the door and listened as they decided it wasn't safe to stay there. "Do we know if he knows about my studio?"

Jason said "I have no idea. No memories of him. But we should assume he does."

Getting the boys into their woolens, Elizabeth carried Jake and Jason carried Cam to the truck that the man who called had said he drove. Monica hurried to join the police and medical team now working on the man in the warehouse while Elizabeth and Jason made plans to drive the boys to the safest place she knew.

Jason helped her into the driver's seat since she knew where they were going and went to get into the passenger seat only to hear sound of the doors locking. Looking up he saw Elizabeth's terrified face and then the face of the man behind the boys with a gun.

"Drive."

"No." said Elizabeth aware that if she did what he wanted she would be vulnerable. Seeing him hold a knife to Jake's neck, she whimpered and said "Why are you doing this? He is Jason's son, do you really think that he will forgive you for harming him?"

"Why not, I erased all the evidence and he forgave the goddess for her moment of weakness." said the man who then said "I told you to drive. If you don't want me to kill him right here, drive."

"Where to?" she asked starting the car and hoping it had some kind of tracking device.

Jason was trying to stay in this world, but his memories of the other times Elizabeth had been in danger where crashing into his conscious. Gripping the hood of his car as he tried to get control of the pain, he looked up when he heard someone shouting his name.

"Morgan?" he heard then saw the Zachara kid. "I was too far away, but my partner is following them. Come on."

Holding his head as they drove, Jason got control of the pain and asked "Do you have a spare gun?"

"Glove box." he said then listened to something coming from his blue-tooth. "Why would he head downtown?"

Getting caught by traffic, Johnny maneuvered around a large truck and was soon driving fast towards the business district only to be informed that his partner had lost track of the SUV. "It's the size of a small boat, how could you lose it?"

Hearing the explanation, he asked Jason. "Which of these seems likely Metrocourt, ELQ or Jacks' Enterprises. Or he could have..."

Listening to the voice in his ear, he looked at Jason and asked "What do you remember about the hostage crisis at the Metrocourt?"

"Very little, only some time I spent with Elizabeth in an elevator while we were waiting to be rescued."

Spinelli forced Elizabeth out of the vehicle then turned to Cam and said "Did you know your daddy died here. Your real daddy, your mommy killed him. She likes to act all sweet and innocent and like she is better than everyone else. She looked down on the goddess for being honest about who she is while lying about being a murdering bitch."

Seeing Cam start crying, Elizabeth tried to comfort him but Spinelli who was holding a gun on Jake said "Don't, or I kill him instead of just talking to the kid. Now where was I? I know, I was explaining to Cam how is his mother was a murdering adulterous whore."

Elizabeth said to Cam, "Ignore him baby, he is lying. Just wait for Jason, he will be here soon."

"NO! JASON'S NOT GOING TO RESCUE YOUR BASTARD SON. HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT THE ONE THAT YOU STOLE FROM HIM, WHY WOULD HE EVER CARE ABOUT SOME KID THAT ISN'T HIS? "

Carly was working in the office when her head of security called and said "We have an incident going on in the garage. Shots fired. That friend of yours, the computer geek is holding a gun on a little blond haired boy."

Freezing she got control and asked "Did you call the police?"

"They are on their way." he said then said "He is forcing the woman with him into an elevator and their was another kid in the vehicle, he looks about five."

"The woman, what does she look like?"

"Beautiful, long brown hair and wearing scrubs, no jacket." he replied then heard her swear.

"Don't let him out of your sight. When the police get here, let me know." she said before heading to the lobby. Seeing Jax, she said "Spinelli, he kidnapped Elizabeth and Jake. I have to go to the garage. I think Cam is there."

"Wait, let me go, instead." he told her then rushed out to the dark truck. The doors were locked, so he went to the valet station and grabbed a metal bar. Heading to the front window, he saw Cam was sobbing and decided the back window was his best bet.

Smashing it, he told Cam he would be right there. Using his suit jacket to cover the glass, he reached through and carefully lifted the little boy out and said "Let's go find Jason."

When the sobbing seemed to slow down, Cam told Jax what Spinelli had been saying. Silently swearing, he took Cam to the lobby only to see that everyone seemed to be standing absolutely still as Spinelli held a gun to the ceiling and fired a shoot, saying to the guards "Don't come any closer."

Jax gripped the little boy whose head was buried in his chest, not wanting him to see the scene playing out in front of his eyes.

Michael got off the elevator, he had spent the day working as a maid and found himself vowing to be neater when he stayed at a hotel from now on. By the time he realized it was too quiet, he found himself face to face with Elizabeth Webber who had a gun at her head.

"Spinelli, let her go." he said then saw that the little towheaded blond boy in his mother's arms.

"Back away, or I kill her right here." he said and the blond saw the dead eyes and knew the geek was serious. Seeing Jax nodding for him to do so, Michael moved around them in a wide circle while Spinelli forced Elizabeth into the elevator and to stand in front of the doors so that no one could attack him while they were open.

Elizabeth guessed the distance between Michael and her was about five feet and in her desperation to save her son made a plan. Just as the elevator started to close, she prayed quickly then screamed Michael and tossed Jake into his arms.

As the doors quickly closed, Elizabeth gave a sob of relief as she saw the blond catch Jake then it turned to sob when she felt Spinelli press the gun even tighter and say "Do you really think I will let him live. It is the fact that he is alive that cost my goddess her soul mate."

She didn't say a word, then felt the elevator jolt as he pulled the emergency stop button.

Johnny took the call and said we are pulling into the driveway. "Where are you?"

"The security booth." said the woman hitting keys. "Got them. Guest Elevator Two, he seems to be messing with the control panel."

"The boys, were are the boys?" he asked. Seeing Jason checking bullets, he relayed what he knew then said "Cam with Jax and Michael has Jake."

Mac arrived at the hotel, he had been delayed by Lainey's suggestion of using Maxie to talk to kid down. They were hoping his anger at her affair was what led to this, but he wasn't so sure. He got the feeling this had been brewing for a while.

Jason rushed in and saw his sons crying. As he held them both, he looked up and said "Where are they?"

"We are trying to get to them, but we can't override the elevator. The guy in charge of security said someone showed up who claims to be able to help, but he isn't sure." replied Mac feeling his age.

Johnny knew he was taking a chance, but decided Elizabeth's life was more important than this secret. "Sir, come with me. The woman is my partner in something I am working on."

Mac followed and when he entered the security room, stopped shocked beyond belief to see his youngest child calmly sitting in front of a monitor typing away. "Dad, I will explain later, but for now, I have to take care of this."

She hadn't even looked up when he croaked out her name. "And could you please not tell anyone, at least until later. I promise, I will explain."

Stunned, Mac said to the man in charge, "Let her do whatever she is doing. Georgie, can you show me Elizabeth?"

"Here." she said showing him the picture in black and white of the scared mother and the obsessive geek.

Harper called Mac and said "I have Maxie, where do you want her?"

"Keep her in the lobby, until I arrive." he said then looked back at his daughter who hadn't even once looked up. "Will you come to the lobby afterwords or should I return here?"

Hating that she was lying she said "Here."

Jason looked at Mac and said "When can we get up there?"

Suddenly Mac heard a squawk and then they all heard the crash. "What was that?"

"The geek just slammed the elevator into the basement, luckily it was only from between the first and second floor." said someone in security.

Seeing the murderous look in Jason's eyes, Carly took the two boys who were being held by the blond and said "How about I take them to my office. They shouldn't be here right now."

Reluctant to let them out of his sight, Jason finally agreed when he saw AJ's son talking softly to Cam. Once they were gone, Mac explained where they were and Jason said "That is the same elevator we were in after the lobby exploded."

"We have a plan, I am bringing Maxie here to talk to Spinelli." he said not sure it was a good plan but it was the only one he had.

"This is all your fault, yours and that whore Elizabeth's." said Maxie as she entered the hotel in handcuffs. "If you hadn't abandoned him to fend for himself when you were sneaking around getting booty calls, he wouldn't have felt alone and wouldn't have gotten so close with Sam."

Jason just looked at the blond and said "Shut up."

"Excuse me?" she asked only to have the statement repeated by Johnny who just glared at her.

"What is your problem." she asked.

"You, you are a piece of work. When we first met, I remember feeling sorry for you about losing your sister. I remember Lulu's and your version of the past, too bad neither had an ties to reality. If anyone is responsible for this mess it is the two of you and that tramp Sam. But she is dead and you are the only way we have to talk this idiot down."

"Don't talk to me that way, not if you want me to save precious whining Elizabeth f-ing Webber." she growled. "That bitch..."

Jason moved closer to the blond and said "I have never hit a woman, at least not that I remember but you are making want you to be the first."

Turning to the doctor he said "She is going to make things worse. She is going to get Elizabeth killed, get her the hell out of here."

With that, he left the lobby hoping to find a way into the basement.

Bobbie entered the Metrocourt only to be stopped at the lobby. Looking around she saw the police and then the arriving firemen. Then she saw her niece in handcuffs while several people in the room gave her glares.

Walking over to Jax, she asked what was going on. When he told her, she hurried to Carly's office to help keep the boys occupied. She wasn't really happy with Elizabeth's choices in regards to her family, but she knew that woman didn't deserve to be dealing with this.

As the elevator slammed into the basement, Elizabeth felt the doors behind her open just a bit and pushed her way through just as Spinelli fired at her. Grateful the little creep was a terrible shot, she rushed towards what looked like light while he kept on firing.

Seeing the stairs, she rushed up them as fast as she could hitting an solid object halfway up. Seeing that it was Jason, she throw herself into his arms saying. "Thank god. We have to get out of here. He is coming after me."

Pulling her up the stairs, while walking in reverse just in case he saw the kid, they were soon on the first floor again in the employee hallway. "Where are we?"

"I haven't the faintest idea." he admitted as they rushed to get someplace safe.

The girl on the computer called down and gave Johnny the message then groaned saying. "Bobbie Spencer is heading their way for some reason. Get there quick."

Spinelli rushed up the stairs, holding his injured right arm close to his body and holding the gun with his left as he shot at the fleeing couple. As he came down the corridor he saw his target with Stone Cold and shouted for them to stop.

Then firing a round at them, he heard the sound of the boys and saw the office labeled Carly Jax and gave a cold grin. "Stop, evil temptress or I will shoot through the wall. I might even hit the illegitimate bastards who should have never been born."

Elizabeth saw Jason reaching for the gun in his coat pocket and was getting ready to breath a sigh of relief at his being armed when Spinelli shouted. "Stone Cold, don't do it. She has you enchanted, she has stolen away your memories of your true love out of jealousy and hatred. Come with me, we can mourn your great lost love together. We can still be a family. All I have to to cure you is kill the succubus who stole you heart and sperm."

Seeing the younger man holding out his hand, Jason just blinked as he pieced together what the kid was saying. Hearing footsteps, all three of them tensed just as Bobbie Spencer walked around the corner. She looked up in time to see the young man most people had considered harmless shooting at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was diving from the ground along side Jason when she saw the blood on his arm. Reaching into Jason's pocket, she saw the wound was superficial and that he was awake. Standing with the gun in her hand, she said quietly. "That was your sixteenth shot, Spinelli. You fired one in the garage, one in the lobby and at least nine in the basement. Five in the hallway."

Spinelli looked at her confused. Elizabeth was moving closer while he held a gun on her. Lifting the gun, he fired but heard nothing but a soft click. Elizabeth flinched but looked at the kid while lifting the gun she had in her hands. "Did you know that Jason taught me how to shoot a few years ago. Did your favorite slut of the month tell you how I saved her rear instead of letting the whore die by shooting someone?"

Bobbie helped Jason up after checking his arm. She could tell that Spinelli was foolishly not taking Elizabeth seriously as she advanced on the man but she still wasn't expecting her to hold the gun mere inches away from him. "Empty your pocket. NOW!"

Spinelli said "You won't shoot me, Stone Cold would never forgive you."

Elizabeth made sure to grip the gun with both hands and shot him in the thigh. "You were saying?"

Jason tried to approach Elizabeth only to be stopped by Bobbie who knew what Elizabeth was feeling. She could still recall how it had felt to have Damien Smith under her control after BJ's death. She could recall how cathartic it had been to know she was in charge of him.

Spinelli started to protest when he saw her lower the gun to his other leg. Pulling out the knives, he dropped them saying "What now?"

"Nothing, I just hold you until someone shows up."

Spinelli looked at Stone Cold, his master looked dazed. She had to have him under some sort of spell, he was certain of it. Feeling around in his pocket to where he held one knife left he just sneered when Elizabeth asked him how it felt to be without the control.

"To know what being rejected feels like?" She said as Jason moved forward and picked up the gun Spinelli had been carrying.

"My master, even under your spell hasn't harmed me. He can't. You can only control him for so long. He will be by my side--" Spinelli heard the sound of heavy footsteps and knew this was his last chance to take down the evil siren.

He felt the shot rather than heard it and looking down saw the bullet wound. Looking up at Jason he said "But why?" Why aren't you fighting her hold on you? Why would you betray your true friend..."

As he fell, Mac and two officers approached. Calling for the paramedics, they rushed the geek to GH, where unfortunately they successfully removed the bullet.

Jason asked Mac if the could come down to the station. "Right now, I just want to get my family home."

Nodding that he understood, the officer watched as Elizabeth quietly thanked Carly and Jax for protecting the boys then gave Michael a huge hug for catching Jake. As the blond blushed over the praise, Carly for the first time felt old. Her little man was growing up.

Jax hugged his own family watching Jason's leave with him. "Lets go home."

"What about the hotel?" asked Carly only to be told to let Marty handle it. Walking past Mac they listened as he explained to Maxie that no, she wasn't going home. That she was returning to her jail cell.

"But I swear, I didn't know about the monitor until I woke up this morning. Yes, I should have called you immediately, but I didn't want you to know about Lucky." she said with tears running down her face.

"I don't have time for this right now. Harper, take her back to the station. I will meet you there, later." heading towards the security office, Mac was eager to see his little girl only to find the office empty except for a note that was taped to the compute keyboard.

"Dad, I am sorry I lied to you, but when I woke up, I had no memories of who I was. Then a few months ago in Italy, I met someone who knew of me. Johnny didn't know where he knew me from, just that I looked familiar.

I am not ready to come home. I have slowly been getting my memories back, but frankly there was no reason to come home other than Robin, Maxie and you. And Maxie has proven to be someone I can't respect. There are a few things you should know.

As Mac read about how involved Maxie had been in the Jason Morgan situation, he dropped his head. What had become of his family. His oldest was a selfish woman who blamed her victim for her crimes and his youngest couldn't come to him with her problems.

When Johnny figured out who I was, he urged me to come home, but I don't know where that is truly. I had been here to Port Charles a while ago, but had no reaction except an urge to flee and I did that with some help, but that is a different part of the story. For now, I am traveling like I always wanted. I just had to come home and help fix things that I could.

I was in Mexico when I saw Jerry Jacks, I was determined to figure how I knew him and what he knew about me yet something warned me not to approach him , I ignored what I saw him doing with Sam McCall since she was familiar but I didn't have the same pull to her that I did to Jerry.

Then I overheard her conversation with a connected man down there outside of a church. They were plotting together, then Sam took some drugs that he offered. I followed Jerry, because I saw him as the bigger threat, never realizing my mistake.

He shot Jason Morgan who also looked familiar but was still a blank, then left him to die under a lean-to at a church there. Then I heard a conversation with Sam when she showed up and I knew I had to go and save the two kids she was talking about, never knowing what she was doing to an unconscious Jason. Those kids were Kristina and Michael.

When I returned, they were gone, the two kids had headed home just in the nick of time. I had heard the man this Sam made a deal with, and knew he was furious they had escaped his clutches. I slowly worked my way north having heard the boy mention Port Charles.

When I arrived I realized something was wrong but couldn't figure out what. But then one day just as I was giving up and moving on, I was at a small diner just outside of town and a woman came in.

We talked, she was jittery then when someone called her by her married name, she panicked. When I saved her from him, I had had no idea what she had done, I only saw a woman in danger. But she decided that doing so meant I was now in danger and she insisted on taking me along. I finally got to Italy dad, but one day, she saw something then gave me some numbers.

She made me promise to live a good life and to travel. To be free. Then never came back to where we were staying. Three days later, her face was in the paper, announcing she had died. I went to claim her and saw her brother. Who of course was Johnny Zachara."

Mac read the letter and with a sign, read the end where she promised to come home someday, before taking the second letter that had been included out.

"Sir, I have sent the WSB the coordinates of where I think Georgie's captors held her and the woman I think was Emily Quartermaine. I promise sir, to protect her until she is ready to come home. According to a letter I received from Claudia, she gave my sister something she had never had before that day in that small diner outside of Syracuse.

A friend, one that accepted Claudia. Something that thanks to my father, my sister and I never had. When my sister died, she sent me one request, to protect her friend. Which I will do with my life.

John Zachara.

Mac sat down and wept then wiping his tears headed over to GH. Checking on the various patients, he started to piece the puzzle together and he was sick to his stomach at what he was hearing.

"So, this Francis Corelli, he saw Spinelli at the warehouse, went inside and tried to capture him."

"Will he live?" asked the police officer.

"Yes, the knife punctured a lung, but that tough bastard lived. Elizabeth already called checking on him along with Monica who was heading home just in case her family needs her tonight."

"What about my daughter?" he asked Harper as the man joined him.

"Back in her cell, the judge agreed to your request to get her in front of the bench tomorrow. Are you sure about this Mac, she is your daughter." reminded David Harper.

"Yes, she is but I can't let her continue like this, until she learns there are consequences for your actions I can't let her go free." then looking at an entering Alexis saw her talking to Kristina who was wearing the light blue polo of the candy stripper uniform.

He felt the pain of Georgie's letter and knew that eventually he was going to have to tell his daughter and his niece what she wrong but for now, he was just going to tell them she was alive and safe. He knew that in time, she would come home. But he also knew that right now, she was not ready.

Arriving at the Quartermaine's, Elizabeth helped Cam take a bath then crawled into Jason's bed with her son while Jason took care of Jake so that she could answer any questions he had. As she let her little boy talk, Elizabeth knew there would be many more nights of comfort like this one needed, but hoped that with time, what Spinelli had done would so fade along with the fears.

When a somber Jason tucked Jake in next to Elizabeth and pulled a sleeping Cam close to himself, Elizabeth reaching out to hold his hand just under the covers. "He will be fine."

"I won't." said the older man quietly. He could still hear the geek, his delusions giving him greater understanding of what his other self had been up against.

Elizabeth tightened her grip worried about how he would react the next day as they all slowly fell asleep. The next morning, Elizabeth woke up to see Jason gone and felt her heart break. She had been afraid of this, he was going to run. Getting up, she quietly took her clothes into the bathroom and went to shower leaving the door open to listen for the boys.

Just as she was toweling dry, she could hear footsteps and peeked her head out to see Jason standing at the foot of the bed holding a duffel bag. At first just hurt and feeling lost, Elizabeth got angry. He had promised so many times not to do this again, yet it looked like he was running.

Going out, forgetting she was only dressed in her towel, Elizabeth grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the bathroom shutting the door behind them. With angry whisper she said "You are not doing this again. I am not going to let you into our lives for you to leave. So just forget about it. Do you get what I am saying."

With a smug grin, he said "Yes, that you are angry, I just don't know why you are upset. Don't you want clean clothes?"

Elizabeth felt her face turn red then looked at the duffel bag. With an embarrassed groan she said "I overreacted."

"Just a bit." he said then leaned down to kiss her. "I know that we have a few things to work through and that Morgan's MO was to protect you by trying to keep this a secret but honestly, I think he/I was an idiot to think that would work. I can feel how he felt, I know that he loves you and the boys. I know he considered Cam his son, just as much as Jake."

Jason with a sad smile admitted. "I have a memory of Jason's about before Cam was born. He is standing next to you, and Cam kicked, you put his hand on your stomach. I can still feel his anguish and regret that he wasn't the father of your little boy."

Elizabeth rested her head on his shoulder, letting the tears fall as she saw that memory in her head. "I had given up any hope on that by then. I had come to accept that our feelings then, were mine. That Jason hadn't love me."

"He did, he just knew... your death, would have destroyed him. Then when you had Cam, he would see you and avoid you at first, it was too hard. I can feel his regrets and that is why we aren't backing down or walking away. I know that you think Jason Quartermaine needs to get to know you, but Elizabeth, he does. The only person I think I have complete memories of is you. At least one on one memories."

They stood there, Jason holding Elizabeth, just needing the closeness after the terror of the previous evening. Finally, Elizabeth felt her towel slipping and with a laugh took the bag of clothes and thanked him for going to get them. With a soft kiss, he said "You are welcome, but I have got to get out of here before I forget that our bed has two sleeping little boys on it."

Cam was sitting next tot he door confused by what he was hearing and decided to find someone to ask. But first he needed breakfast. Mommy had promised him his favorite, chocolate chip pancakes at Kelly's. Seeing Jason coming out of the bathroom, he asked "Is you Jake's daddy?"

Stunned, Jason found himself unable to lie and said "Yes."

"Then why weren't you here, were you sick like Lucky? Are you going to be my daddy too?" Seeing the serious expression on the little boy's face, Jason suggested they go talk about this on the steps.

Once settled with Cam on the top and Jason a few steps below so they were looking each other in the eyes, Jason said "First, I would love to be your dad, if you want me to."

"Okay. But why weren't you here?" Jason saw that Cam was staring at him confused.

Trying to figure out a way to explain this to a child, Jason came up with an idea. "When I was Lulu's age, I was in a car accident and hit my head."

"Did it hurt?" asked Cam looking at him with horror.

"I don't remember, but I went to sleep for a very long time." he said then continued. "When I woke up, I was different. Things didn't always …. well like, see that picture?" he said pointing to the O'Keefe painting on the wall.

"Yup, it's ugly." said Cam with a child's honesty squinting at the picture of wire and a cactus on a brown background.

"Well, when I was Jason Morgan, I couldn't see it. It was all slotchy and without your mom around I had no one else who would explain it correctly to me." Jason didn't know if this way would work but it was the best he could come up with right then.

"Okay." said Cam then said "But why weren't you here?"

"Because like how I saw the painting was how I lived. I wasn't around my mom or my grandfather or others because I didn't have someone to explain the correct things to me. And I was doing things the wrong way." He wasn't even sure explaining about the lies and deceit and the way people had tried to mold him into who they needed to be was necessary but he was certain that as the boys grew they would have this talk again.

"But why didn't mommy help you?" he asked. Cam was sure his mommy would have helped, she helped everybody.

"She tried, but I was scared. Like that picture, I was worried because I couldn't see things clearly. I thought that you were safer if people didn't know how much I loved all of you." he said his voice breaking as he tried to explain. "Then someone did hurt you, so I tried to protect you, by leaving again."

"But wouldn't we be safer with you. Mommy always says there is safety in numbers and not to wander off that you can get hurt that way." asked Cam knowing Mommy was always right.

"Remember when I said I had to have people explain things, well. There were people who didn't want me with your mommy, they ..."

"Expaineded things wrong?" asked Cam.

"Yes." he decided that was the simplest way to explain about Sam and Spinelli and the other users in Jason Morgan's life.

"But you are here now, why?"

"Because I have figured out something was wrong with things but didn't know what. Then I had an accident on my motorcycle."

"I likes your motorcycle." said Cam with his eyes lite up. Jason just laughed and messed up his hair.

"Well, when I had my accident, I hit my head again and had another long sleep and when I woke up, things made sense again." Jason wasn't sure about that bike, he was certain that Morgan's knowledge of how to ride it was imprinted on his brain someplace, but this Jason wasn't sure it was a wise idea.

"Are you going to marry my mom?" asked Cam. "Are we going to live together?"

"Yes, we are. Are you okay with that?" He hoped so, he couldn't lose his family now.

"Yup, but can we move someplace else, and take grandma and Grandfather with us, I get losted here."

Laughing Jason picked up Cam and hugged him tight saying, "Well, we are going to have to talk to your mother about that." He also had plans to talk to Alice, find out what her excuse was for letting that Spinelli kid into the house.

Cam wiggled down and entered the room where his Mom was dressing Jake and shouted "Mommy, Daddy says we are getting married and maybe moving, can we keep Grandma Monica and grouchy too."

"Grouchy?" she asked.

"Yup that is what the funny man with the wild hair called Grandfather." he said with a huge grin like he was telling a big secret.

When Elizabeth and Jason looked at each other, she said with a soft grin. "Well, we need to talk about that."

"Okey-dokey, can I get a new pair of sneakers if wes getting married." he asked then rushed to get dressed. "Jake and I are ready for Mike's pancakes Mommy."

Walking down the stair, Elizabeth knew they had lots of issues to work through and figuring out where to live was one of them, but the one thing she was sure of, they were going to be just fine.

Who knows, maybe she would get that little girl after all.

TBC

All that is left is the epilogue.