Well, here you have another chapter. Sorry for the delay, but I have so many ideas for this story that I need to organise them so that the stoyr goes where I want. To make it up to you this chapter is the longest so far. I hope you enjoy it!

INADEQUATE

By

Ava365

Chapter 5. Remorse

How long had it been since that fateful day? He honestly didn't know, without her days went by without notice. He didn't care anymore. Whiskey seemed his only source of comfort. At least it didn't make him feel guilty or empty. He had been enduring her aunt's threats for some time but never relenting, Kagome was too precious to him to listen to an old woman rant about hanyous and the purity of blood. That is until the last threat came, one he couldn't ignore. So after making sure it was not an empty threat he surrendered. This time she had pressed the right buttons and he was forced to let his Kagome go.

At one time he thought like aunt Hanae and the others. Humans were weaklings and hanyou were abominations. But he never got to the point of wanting to murder them. Not even in the past, when he was so consumed with power did he murder anyone unless provoked. When did his view on humans and hanyou change? He wasn't sure. But that change had already started before he met Kagome. Although she did the major changes, especially concerning hanyou.

He still remembered that awful day clearly, as if it had happened yesterday although more than a week had passed.

flashback

He went to the mini bar and poured some more whiskey in his empty glass. He had lost count of how many drinks he had taken since he arrived home that afternoon. His mind was outside the room he was actually occupying. He kept recalling over and over again what had transpired many hours ago in that hotel room. Her hurtful look had felt like being stabbed with a knife in his heart. But he had no choice. He had been forced to do it. He had to spare her from harm even if it meant that she would hate him all her life. He'd rather have her despise him; think ill of him if that meant she would be safe. But the one who dared threaten him would pay dearly. And he would make sure of it personally.

The door opened but Sesshomaru didn't hear it. The male that had just entered the room looked at the silver haired young man in front of him, the strong smell of alcohol assaulted his senses and he frowned. "Sesshomaru?" But Sesshomaru never answered, he was far away, immersed in his memories. The male approached Sesshomaru and softly touched his shoulder.

Sesshomaru suddenly felt a soft pressure on his shoulder and raised his head, his eyes meeting those of his sire.

"Father? How long have you been here?"

"Not long my son, but enough to notice something is bothering you."

Sesshomaru put the glass on the nearest table and put his hands in his pant pockets. Suddenly the rug seemed very interesting. Toga had a feeling he knew what was bothering his son and he felt it was somehow his fault.

"It's Kagome, isn't it?"

At the sound of her name Sesshomaru startled looking like a deer caught in flashlights.

"I don't know what you mean."

Toga sighed and sat down.

"Don't play the fool with me. I know you love her."

Sesshomaru turned around and withdrew one hand from one of the pockets to run his claws through his hair.

"Don't speak nonsense. This Sesshomaru is above those petty feelings."

The older man chuckled.

"Yes, I once was like that. I was above any emotion, especially love." He crossed one leg over the other. "That is until I met Izayoi."

At the mention of the woman's name Sesshomaru snarled.

"Don't speak such name in front of me!"

At that Toga reacted snarling back and standing up in a threatening manner.

"Oh yes I will speak of her because she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She was the light amongst the darkness."

"She caused mother's downfall!"

"Don't speak of things you know nothing about!"

"Things I know nothing about! How dare you! She was miserable when we all found out about your affair with the whore!"

Toga's eyes went red and his claws pierced the palms of his hands in an effort to avoid striking his son.

"Sit down son, there are things you have to know about."

End of flashback

'Then Inuyasha came in and father spoke of the dark secrets of the family, ones he wasn't proud of. Ones he, at some point had been involved in. But not since he met Izayoi, although he paid for what they had called it 'a distasteful mistake'. And as happens in most wealthy and powerful families, the 'matter' was buried, never to be talked about. Only Inuyasha remained as a testimony, and when Izayoi died and there was no one to take care of the pup, father fought tooth and nail to have Inuyasha accepted into the family.'

Sesshomaru sighed and put the glass down on the table. Inuyasha had to endure being humiliated over and over but several members of the family and, although he never participated because it was beneath him to attack someone who was weak and couldn't fight back properly, he never helped him either. That was probably the start of the animosity between brothers.

He stood up, marvelled that all that alcohol in his system wasn't affecting his balance. He glared at the bottle. He was above addictions. He was determined not to let his feelings cloud his judgement. He was done with the liquor.

Besides, he had an appointment with Kagura in two days and he needed to be sober. He refused to call it a date. Even though when he called her, she had been so glad as to make the loud female noises he despised so much. But not Kagome, she was quieter with her display of emotions. He missed her so much.

He shook his head to dispel the thought of her. He had to be strong and he had to see Kagura, that despicable Onigumo's sister. As they say, keep the friends close and the enemies even closer. It was time to act the part of the strategist.

Kagome and Sango arrived after a few days spent in an onsen. Their faces were relaxed and even Kagome had begun to smile.

"Well, we are back to real life. Are you going to work tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow I'm going back to working in the cafeteria. Kaede-san was so kind as to give me some days off without further notice. And I'm back to university as well. I need to go back to have a normal life."

"I'll go and visit you at the cafeteria after work. You will still work in the evening shift right?"

"Yes, as usual. See you tomorrow girlfriend!"

Both friends hugged. "Thanks Sango, for everything, for listening to me."

"No problem."

"Bye, Sango."

"Bye, Kagome."

The day hadn't been as bad as she had first thought. It's not that she had forgot about Sesshomaru, but at least she was strong enough to get out of the house and go through the things she used to do when she lived with Sango and was dating Sesshomaru.

At first she had been calm because she knew she would be in the places she knew he went to, so the chances of them meeting were almost nonexistent. She had taken the train to go to the university instead of Sesshomaru driving her and then she had walked from there to the cafeteria, where she knew he wouldn't be unless he went out of his way. It wasn't a place a sophisticated man like him would go to on a regular day, not unless he wanted to see her. And she knew that hell would freeze over before he went there to see her.

Kaede had welcomed her warmly, concerned for her welfare. Kagome had assured her that she was on her way to recovery and that she was OK to work. At that, the old woman had agreed to let her start work today.

Kagome was making another coffee pot when someone cleared their throat making her turn around with a smile on her face.

"What would you like today? Oh! Koga?"

Her smile widened.

"What are you doing here? I've never seen you here before. Err... Would you like some coffee? I'm just making some."

"Sure Kagome, if you can have some with me."

The girl looked at the clock on the wall checking the time.

"Sorry Koga, I can't while I'm working. But my shift finishes in half an hour."

"And you are free after that?"

She noticed the man fidgeting. "Yes, after that I'm free."

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Well, did she want to have dinner with Koga? The man had pursued her since they met in high school, and she always turned him down. She was sure he knew she wasn't with Sesshomaru anymore or he wouldn't risk his health pursuing a taken woman. The question was if she was ready to see other men. And the answer was, that she wasn't ready to be romantically involved with anyone.

"Koga, I'm not sure it is a good idea."

"Why not? We are not doing anything wrong."

"You probably know I'm not with Sesshomaru anymore." Koga nodded. "And I don't know what you want from me." She lifted her hand to prevent Koga from saying anything. "But I can't give you anything but friendship right now."

"Yes, I understand. And that is fine with me."

Kagome smiled with relief. "Really?"

"Of course. It won't be a date, just two friends having something to eat together."

"OK, I'll have dinner with you."

"Great, I'll wait for you over there while I have some coffee."

Half an hour later a tap on Koga's shoulder made him raise his head from the magazine he was reading.

"I'm ready to go."

Koga looked her up and down, she had always been so beautiful.

"Let's go then."

"Are we going somewhere fancy? Should I change?"

"Yes, we are going someplace nice, but you look perfect."

He held her hand and together they walked to his car. He opened the passenger's door for her and held it opened until she made herself comfortable in the seat and then closed it carefully.

On their way to the restaurant Koga kept stealing glances at the beauty by his side. He hoped he didn't ruin it this time. He had a chance to win her heart and he hoped he could make her forget that uptight idiot. No matter how noble his reasons for dumping her had been, he was an idiot for not fighting for her.

When Kagome stepped out of the car in front of the restaurant door, she was amazed. Koga has chosen a small but elegant Italian restaurant; the maitre had attended them courteously and taken them to their seats. She felt very comfortable and smiled widely at Koga, who was seated in front of her.

"This place is wonderful!"

"I'm glad you like it. The food here is excellent. The chef has been training for a few years with the best chefs in Italy." He put his hand on top of Kagome's. "But I hope you enjoy the company as well, Kagome."

Kagome blushed and averted her eyes from Koga's but she kept her hand under his.

A couple of tables from them, a pair of golden eyes narrowed at the scene. Sesshomaru hadn't heard the conversation, but the action had been enough to ignite his ire. His companion still hadn't noticed that the gorgeous male dining with her hadn't paid attention to any of her words and that he now was focused on a neighbour table.

"Koga, I need to go to the ladies room."

Koga nodded and watched as Kagome walked to the toilet. The menus arrived and he began to go through it while he waited for her.

Sesshomaru stood up, and just muttered 'bathroom' before stood up. He wanted to know what she was doing with the mangy wolf.

Kagome was washing her hands; the sound of the running water disabled her to hear someone else enter the toilet. Suddenly someone grabbed her by the arm and crushed her against the wall.

"What are you doing with him!"

She opened her eyes and looked at the male that held her trapped against the wall. Her eyes widened when she recognised the man that had attacked her.

"Sesshomaru?" His eyes began to turn red, she knew very well what that meant, his beast was furious about something and was attempting to take over. And then the question registered in her mind. "What do you mean what am I doing with him?" And anger clouded reason, she didn't care that she had to show submission so the beast would recede; she couldn't believe that he was angry because he was with someone else. He had no right to demand an explanation.

"Sesshomaru, I'm a free woman. You made sure of that. Now let me go."

He managed to control the beast and his eyes recovered their golden colour. One of the hands holding her shoulder moved up her neck to cup her cheek lovingly and she gasped at the unexpected caress.

"Have you forgotten my touch so soon, Kagome?"

She didn't like the way his husky voice and his hungry eyes made her tremble. She couldn't afford to fall for his trickery, her heart couldn't handle it. She turned her head to the side to avoid contact with his hand but he took the opportunity to kiss her neck and embrace her. He brought one of his hands behind her head while he continued to spread kisses all over her neck and jaw. She tried to push him away but he was too strong. When she found her voice she was able to ask him to stop, but the whisper she was able to muster only fuelled him. His action became desperate, urgent and passionate. "You are mine."

Now those words did it. What did he think she was? Some toy to play around? Some days ago he was sure enough he didn't want to see her again and just when she starts moving on, just like he wanted, he suddenly decides that he doesn't like it.

"I said stop!" She became more forceful, putting more strength in her effort to put some distance between them. Sesshomaru finally let her go, but the hunger for her never left his eyes. "You made it perfectly clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. Fine, I respect your wishes. If you are not happy with me I'd rather you be with someone else. I just wanted to know why, Sesshomaru"

She looked so broken and dejected.

"No, Kagome. That's not it. I wish I could explain it to you, but I can't."

"You can't or you won't"

At his silence Kagome shook her hear. "Leave me alone, you have no right to get your nose in my life. I can be with whomever I want."

She walked past him, muttered a "Bye Sesshomaru" and closed the door behind her.

She walked on shaky legs to the table and sat down. Koga noticed the state she was in.

"Are you all right?"

She looked at him with teary eyes. But before he could answer Koga understood the reason she was so distresses for there at their table stood Sesshomaru.

"Kagome, we need to talk."

She looked at him with watery eyes filled with anger.

"Now you want to talk? Now I don't want to hear you. Koga please, get me out of here."

At his lack of response she looked at him. "Koga?"

"Kagome, you should listen to him."

Behind them they heard the noise of someone clearing their throat. When they turned around Kagura was standing there tapping her foot.

"What's the meaning of this, Sesshomaru? I thought we had a date."

Kagome paled and looked to the floor. Koga stood up and got between Sesshomaru and Kagome.

"You are a jerk Sesshomaru. I was going to let you win her back but this is different. I have clearly moved on. Leave Kagome alone."

He helped Kagome stand up and held her by the arm. They walked together out of the restaurant to his car.

Sesshomaru stood there, looking dejected. He had screwed up royally. He should have waited for a better moment to approach her, when there were no witnesses. He was supposed to have left Kagome and the 'pure' had to keep thinking that. For Kagome's sake and for the plan to work out.

"I'm sorry Kagura. I didn't mean to be disrespectful towards you."

"That was Kagome? Your ex-fiancé?" Sesshomaru nodded. "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru. If you want you can go look for her."

Sesshomaru looked surprised. "You don't mind?"

Kagura laughed merrily "Of course I mind? What woman wouldn't mind being abandoned by their date? Look, I understand. Go to her."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "No, I better let her cool down. Right now she won't listen to me. Which reminds me... Are you still hungry?" Kagura nodded and Sesshomaru escorted her back to the table. He looked around, fortunately there was only another table, and was occupied by a ningen couple. No one had witness his contacting Kagome.

"Kagura, your father is a hanyou, isn't he?"

"Yes." She looked down at her hands, resting on her lap.

"I know that in the past he has been ruined by my family just because he is a hanyou."

"Yes, your family has done a lot of damage to my family in the past. That's why my father lives now in the forest, away from society. He couldn't stand all the degrading words."

"I wanted to talk to him. I offer him the possibility to seek revenge and restore his honour."

Kagura's eyes shone. "How?"

"Do you think he will accede to see me?"

"I'll do my best to convince him. What are you planning?"

Sesshomaru looked around to make sure there were no prying ears.

"Me with some others are planning to change some things in the youkai world are looking for supporters."

He had never seen that look of hope in Kagura's face it made her almost look beautiful. Then her eyes were flooded with tear that threatened to fall down her cheeks.

"I need to ask one more thing of you." Kagura nodded. "I want you to pretend you are my girlfriend for a while."

"OK, but I need to tell someone first. And after seeing how you are so possessive of that human girl I think it is safe from me to take you to meet him."

After they finished their meal they walked together to his car and drove to an apartment somewhere in the city.

T.B.C.