"What?" I say loudly, causing my mother to hush me in her weak voice.
"Your father. I let him drive. You know how he is…was…" she takes a deep breath, "on the freeway- always speeding and swerving. I let him drive just tonight, and then he hit the guardrail and he died. It's my fault. I killed my own husband. Oh my God…" she says, burying her face in her hands. The gutwrenching sobs break my heart. Soon, tears are running down my cheeks.
"Mom, you didn't kill Dad," I say, choking up. "He did it himself."
"It's my fault, I shouldn't have let him drive," she says, sobbing quietly.
"Mom, please. Don't," I say simply, "ever say something like that again." I pull her close to me, kissing the top of her head as she sobs into my shoulder. It's like we've reversed roles. We lay there, halfway asleep, until morning.
"Monica?" Ross says quietly. He always was an early bird- the sun has hardly risen and he's already wide awake.
"I'll tell you about it in a few minutes," I say softly. I gently lay Mom's head back on her pillow, and cover her up with a blanket. After I wait, and she doesn't wake up, I nod at Ross and slowly get up. We wake Rachel and Chandler, both who protest at being awoken early, and walk downstairs to get breakfast.
"She really thinks it was her fault?" Rachel says incredulously, sipping a juice box. I nod, spooning some applesauce into my mouth.
"I guess the doctor was right about the depression thing," Ross says quietly. Rachel squeezes his hand. I know my brother hates admitting defeat.
"I'm sure she'll be okay," Chandler says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I lean against him.
We all walk back to Mom's room silently. As we begin to enter the room, Dr. Parry comes out.
"Hi everyone, I was just explaining to your mother our agenda for today. We need to put her into a cast for her arm, and then just get her a prescription for some painkillers and the Zoloft, and she'll be ready to go home. May I suggest she stay with one of you four for a while? I don't think she's ready to be on her own yet, although she is doing better than yesterday. Also, the hospital is sending the grief counselor in to talk to her and any of you if you feel the need to speak with her. You also need to start planning the funeral arrangements," he says. Dr. Parry strikes me as a well-meaning, although inexperienced, doctor.
"That should be fine," Chandler says. Ross is speechless.
We enter the room. Mom sits upright, sipping some apple juice.
"Hi Mom," Ross says, brightening a bit.
"Hello sweetie," she says quietly, glancing at him. I have to admit, we've made some progress from yesterday.
"They're going to put your cast on today, Mom," I say, trying to sound brighter than I feel.
"I know. I hope they hurry up. I'm sick of being stuck in this room," she says. I smile and walk across the room to hug her. She sounds like her old self. "Monica, what's happened with your hair?"
I laugh and roll my eyes in Ross' direction, who smiles. My mother might be back.
--
After they've put my mom's cast on and have officially released us from the hospital (after my mother refused to talk to the grief counselor), we all go out to the car. We climb in, and Chandler once again drives. Everyone besides Chandler and I fall asleep.
"Mon, you okay?" he says quietly to me as I lean back in the passenger seat.
"I don't know. We have to plan the funeral today, don't we?" I say back.
"Start on it, at least. I'm worried about your mom."
"Who isn't?" I say, squeezing his hand. I know my husband doesn't like my parents much, but at least he cares.
We ride in silence for an hour or so until we reach my parents' house. Chandler and I wake Mom up and take her into the house. She grabs a few essentials. I notice how quiet she's become again.
We drive back up to our house, which takes an hour and a half, since we've just hit rush hour. Chandler taps nervously on the steering wheel. He hates to drive through the city. It scares him. I don't think my parents' accident has helped.
Finally at home, we wake up everyone and trudge out of the car. It's decided quickly that Mom will stay with Ross and Rachel. She takes her things into the house, while the four of us walk across the street to get the kids.
"Monica! Rachel!" Phoebe gasps when we open the door.
"What, and we don't get any recognition?" teases Chandler.
"Oh, never mind that! Thank God you guys are back! Your kids are driving me crazy," she says bluntly. We stare at her. "Just kidding! What happened?" Her perky voice immediately goes to concern. We explain the entire sad story.
"Oh my gosh. Well believe me, if you guys need me to watch the kids whenever, just let me know. God… do I need to make a casserole or something? Isn't that what people do?"
We laugh at her, one of the few times in the past couple days that I have done so. Holding an asleep Erica and a drowsy Jack, Chandler and I walk across the road. We climb the stairs, put our kids to bed, and trudge into bed. I lay in Chandler's arms, as usual, thinking about where life will take me next. So much has happened in the few years- getting married, going through adoption, getting the twins, baby Jack's leukemia- I surprise myself how I get through things like this. Everyone thinks I'm the strong one in the family, but really, I am the weakest. I just don't let it show.
Chandler rubs my back. I kiss his bare shoulder and snuggle closer to him.
"What are you thinking?" he whispers.
"Just about everything… everything," I whisper back.
"I know what you mean. There have been so many surprises for me… falling in love with the most amazing woman on the planet-" I blush- "marrying her, trying to have a baby and adopting one with her, finding out it's twins, the cancer… and now this. I know your dad wasn't that fond of me, but I never had a problem with him. He was a great guy and I know you loved him so much. I just… I hope you know that we'll make it through this, like all that other stuff. We will, and we'll come out changed, but we'll still be our family." Chandler sighs and I squeeze him.
"I love you," I whisper.
"I love you too," he whispers back, and I can hear the smile on his face.
We fall asleep together, him slightly snoring, me slightly smiling. With all the things that have happened to us, we're still the happy couple we were almost 7 years ago.
A/N: No reviews for chapter 2? Bah, that makes me feel so unspecial! Keep it up people!