"Bella?" The word was meaningless, sounded like it was being poured through a sive. "Bella?" Someone repeated. It echoed.

I felt my eyelid lift and a bright light being shone into my pupil. "Bella can you hear me?"

I dragged a breath in - I was about to tell whoever was poking and prodding and talking to me to shut up and go away. Death was utterly peaceful at first - wonderfully dark and quiet - and they were ruining all that. Who was it, anyway? I didn't think you had vistors when you were dead - but taking such a deep breath had felt like I had just swollowed a knife. My esophogas was burning. I thought about screaming but that would make it all worse.

"Bella, look at me."

I groaned - ow - I would look at them, and I would tell whoever it is to shut up and leave me be. I fluttered my eyes. I was staring into the eyes of my father. Charlie? Charlie.

"Oh Bella!" He started to weap. "Oh Bella!" He came and took my hand. He started to pet my hair. "Oh Bella." He murmered again.

"Oh fuck." I cried. No, no this wasn't happening. I wasn't alive, Charlie couldn't be here. I took pills! Fourty one god damn sleeping pills were supposed to put you to sleep! I'm dead. "I-I'm not.." I cried. Big sobs were wracking my body and tearing at my burning throat.

"No, honey, you're okay, you're right here with me." Charlie sounded like this was a good thing. This was not a good thing. I didn't want to be okay. I wasn't okay.

"No." I croaked out.

"Yes." He sounded so happy. That made me cry so much more. I shook my head and tried to wipe my tears - my hands were connected to wires. That's when I heard the beeping. My life line.

I took a deep breath. "My throat?" I closed my eyes. I couldn't even kill myself right.

"They had to pump your stomach. Oh, baby, why? Why?"

I shook my head. I could not talk to my Father about trying to kill myself. I couldn't contain my sobs yet, my sore throat making it all the worse.

"Dad. I need something for my throat." I pushed myself up in the bed and took in my surroundings. I was in a private room, beeping and boxes all around me. I was in one of thsoe gross, backless gowns and the sheet was not pulled up nearly high enough to be braless infront of my Dad.

"Okay, honey. I'll go get something, I'll be right back."

I let out a deep breath when Charlie left the room. I thought I'd never see him again. It almost stopped me from doing it, from going through with it. I would have missed Charlie and Renee so much. But nothing else was keeping me alive and I knew they'd forgive me eventually.

I was just such a sad person. I was an average student but hated the thought of any kind of job - I wouldn't want to be a doctor, seeing all those helpless people (the humor escaped me at this moment), or a lawyer, I couldn't be a journalist to save my soul, or a writer. I didn't have the stage presents or the voice to be an actress or singer, wasn't talented enough to be a painter, had to style to be a stylist, no interest in beautician, or photographer, spa hand or makeup artist. Got depressed when I was hurt animals so vet was out, too. I hated the intense heat to be a chef and couldn't stand the thought of a fast food employee or walmart associate. So, I had no future.

Boys hadn't been interested in me since I beat up Tommy Litmore in grade 6. I was too good for the bad boys and too bad for the good boys. I hadn't found myself attractive for years now.

So since I had no job, no husband, no hope, I decided why not end it now?

And now - and now, the door was opening. Charlie. Thank god, throat relief. No, not Charlie.

"Who are you?" I breathed.

"I'm Edward Cullen, your nurse. Charlie stepped out, so I step in. Here are your icechips." He placed a small cup in my hand.

"Thanks." I said quietly. "Where did my Dad go?"

"He went out to the lobby." The nurse - Edward said. He picked up a clip board that was attached to the end of my bed. He looked up at my face, into my eyes for a brief moment. "You're so lucky." He said quietly.

I popped an icechip into my mouth - although I was hoping Charlie would find something closer to some green tea, or a throat lonzenge or, I don't know, a bottle of Jack. "Is that so?"

"Oh that's right - you didn't want to be lucky. You wanted to die." He said in a monotone voice.

"Pardon me?" My throat scratched.

He cleared his throat quite loudly. Show off. "You-"

The door swung open. Charlie? No, not Charlie. "Bella, you've come around." A deep, lucious voice coo'd. "I'm Doctor Cullen."

"I've got a Doctor Cullen and a nurse Cullen?"

The Doctor of the two grabbed the clipboard from the nurse and stood right next to me. "You're one of the lucky ones." He laughed.

"What?"

"Well you get me and my boy. How're you feeling." He stared down at his clipboard the whole time.

"A bit suprised actually, I didn't think I was going to wake up. Ever." I said bitterly.

A got a hearty laugh out of the Doctor, though. "So, Bella, we're going to have to keep you here for a few days under suicide watch, but you seem to be keeping alright. Any questions?"

"Uh.. where's Char- um.. my Dad?"

"I believe he stepped out into the lobby. I think he's on the phone."

"Oh."

He smiled and started to retreat.

"Doctor?"

"Please, call me Carlisle." He said as he ran a hand through a shock of blonde hair.

"I'm cold."

"Well, Edward would be happy to assist you with finding a solution, afraid I gotta run. Take care, Bella."

"I'm not so sure about that." I muttered as Edward walked over to me, once again the clipboard in his hand. Weren't they done with that thing yet?

"Afraid all I got to offer you is more of those lovely gowns and some more itchy sheets. What'll it be?" He said sarcastically.

"Just the gowns. And my Dad, if you see him?" God, who did this guy think he was?

"You got it." He turned and put the clipboard back on the end of my bed. He took long strides before he closed the door. "Can someone watch her?" I heard him announce on the other side. "I need to get the princess some gowns." He said mockingly. "God I hate this ward." And I saw his figure retreat.

"Mr. Cullen keep your voice down." Someone shooshed him.

And thats when I started to cry once more.