A month after Jack's funeral.
My back hurts. I'm bending over my garden, weeding it as carefully as possible. Today we haven't done much as a family. It's just a summer morning. Chandler has taken the day off and is playing with the twins a couple yards away, on the swingset. I smile and wave at the kids, who wave and yell back. I look over the fence, and I see Rachel and Ross standing together outside. I'm about to say hi, but then I hear them talking.
"Ross, your mother is driving me crazy! I know she's been through a lot but I need my house back! I need my own space without her cleaning it all up after me or criticizing my clothes or what the babies are doing! I need to be able to send the kids over to Monica's or Phoebe's so you and me can have some alone time! I need to be me again!" Rachel yells at my brother.
"She's been through so much, Rach. You can't just kick her out right now!"
"I know! Could we put her in a home, or- oh my gosh, I know just the thing. She could live in one of the condos down the street! Those are so inexpensive and she could have her own place and she could be out of our way!"
"Rachel, the doctor said not to let her be alone."
"But she'd live down the street! It wouldn't be far away at all!"
"Rachel…"
"Ross, I need to be able to kiss my husband without feeling shy, or be close with my husband. Please think about it," she says, kissing his chin.
He smiles and wraps his arms around her waist. They proceed to kiss. I duck down so I don't have to watch. The thought of my brother with anyone still kind of grosses me out.
Chandler comes over, leaving the kids swinging.
"Honey, are you okay? Your face is really red."
"I'm fine… I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'll ask about my back pain then."
"Okay. Why don't you go swing with the kids? I'll weed."
I laugh. "You don't know the system!" I tease.
Chandler grins and kisses my sweaty forehead before bending down and starting to weed. I look at him for a while before he looks up. "What?" he asks.
"Nothing," I say, smiling. I'm so damn lucky.
Chandler looks a little creeped out. I pat his back and walk over to the swingset. "Erica, Jack, do you guys want to help Mommy make lemonade for Daddy?" I say quietly, so Chandler doesn't hear me. The kids grin and wiggle out of their swings and grab my hands as they walk with me towards the house. Chandler waves.
We make the lemonade, and the project evolves into much more. When Chandler comes in an hour later, the kitchen is covered in flour, sugar, and chocolate chips.
"We make cookies!" says Jack. Erica laughs at him.
"I can see that," Chandler says. He stands wide eyed in the doorway. I smile at him and point at the lemonade.
"We made you a drink, too," I say. Chandler laughs and wipes the sweat off his forehead.
"Is there any chance of some tequila in here?" he murmurs to me. I shake with laughter. We take the kids into the living room and play with them before I start dinner. After serving pork chops for the adults and cheese sandwiches for the kids, with both having mashed potatoes, we sit around the table. I smile at my two children and at my wonderful husband.
As we're putting the kids to bed, Jack looks up at Chandler. "Daddy, what's tequila?"