Here's the new chapter, not really much to say about this except that it was quite hard to write for Dib, since generally he IS the hero and he is not exactly one to have a criminal record, except for the fact that considering the history of the show Dib has done some things that put in question his morality.
Anyways enjoy this and of course we all know that Invader Zim doesn't belong to me, I'm just some insignificant insect who loves writing a bit too much and that the rights to the show belong to Jhonen Vasquez.
Chapter Two:
"Criminal number two" The control brains said with contempt "The large headed guy known as Dib"
The tentacles appeared yet again, connecting themselves into Stink's PAK, the advisor spammed at the excruciating pain he felt, if Zim's rap sheet caused him a severe headache then the next inmate was going to make his head explode.
In truth, Stink wished for that already.
After all, no Irken really knew what the human has done, but from the way the other Earth slaves spoke of him before the invasion, it was a sure bet that this Dib was a pariah among his own people.
Kind of like Zim was among the Irkens.
And that was enough reason to investigate about this boy's past.
"As you know Advisor Stink" The Control Brain in the middle spoke indifferently "Once Earth was conquered, the planetary conversion team entered all the government facilities on this insignificant world before starting their jobs, just to make sure to look out information for possible rebels"
Stink said nothing; the machines took this as a sign to continue ranting.
"They did not find anything of importance, other than a few historical files of the humans that were destroyed simply because it was enjoyable to mess around with inferior life forms."
Stink finally showed some sign of life when he smirked cruelly and spoke with delight "I liked that part of the job… the best part of being an invader… correction, the best part of being an Irken."
"Affirmative"
"However" the first control brain continued the conversation "Some humans have catch the eyes of Tallest Tak, among them were the children Dib and Gaz Membrane, as well as their father who is now working with the enslaved Vortians to build better and of course deathlier technology."
"Yeah, that part I know"
"I KNEW IT!"
Stink raised and eyebrow in confusion at the control brain on the far left "Huh?"
The other two artificial beings ominously glared at their counterpart and set their calculating eyes back on their alien "Ignore him" they both said with a tone that clearly told Stink not to ask questions.
"Okkkkk, so what of these human smeets?"
"They are not among the slaves"
Stink's eyes widened "WHAT!?"
"They escaped"
"That's impossible all personal is given strict others to shoot any lower life forms should they try to make a run for it!"
"We know"
"How did they escape?!"
"How indeed"
"StTOP REPEATING STUFF!" Stink bellowed in anguish.
"But it's fun" The second brain whined.
Ignoring the odd behavior Stink asked something he just had to know "Doesn't Tallest Tak know?"
"She knows, because she let them escaped"
"Huh… surely you're all joking!"
"No… no we are not" The first brain said after a moment of awkward silence "You see, she has grown bored and was looking for a challenge... these humans gave her that when she tried to get the title of Invader."
"The problem with Tallest Tak" Said another brain "Is that she is too arrogant and cocky, the power she was given has corrupted her, she seems to underestimate these children… just like she did with Zim"
"But that's the thing, Zim is no longer around and he was the reason why these humans defeated her the first time!" Stink exclaimed.
"This why you will be given the knowledge of the Dib-human and the Gaz-demon's criminal activity, so you will know exactly what to expect of them!" All brains said at once.
Finally the information about Dib's past was being pulled into Stink's PAK.
"These crimes are the things the boy has done by human and Irken standards in no particular order"
"Lay it on me!" The Irken yelled bravely.
"Let's see, apparently his first act of criminal activity was at the age of six, he spied on a family he believed were vampires"
"Vampires?" Stink repeated "What are vampires?!"
If the machines could shrug they would have done just that "We don't know, but apparently they are some sort of undead creatures that need floor to exist"
"That's sick!" The alien gaped horrified "I knew I should have fought harder on the idea of exterminating all Earthly life instead of enslaving it!"
"His next crime was at the age of 8, he stalked a really hairy child he believed was a bigfeet smeet"
"Bigfoot" The third brain corrected.
The other two artificial being glared at their companion.
Stink did not think anything of the animosity between the three machines "Must be because they have nothing else to do besides bitch to the other"
"Moving on" The second brain said "This human messed around with something called the FBI, thanks to him certain humans were either killed or fired"
"Whoa… a child did that?" Stink questioned "That's kinda neat!"
"Apparently others didn't think so" The third control brain continued "His father had to pay thousands of dollars in fines, not to mention a restraining order was put upon the child"
The alien snickered "Suck to be him"
"Indeed" The first two brains agreed.
"He also has destroyed several mishaps, for example, not only did he unintentionally destroyed the life of hard working men but he scared other children for life with his tales of ghosts and zombies whom he claimed were real!"
"Where they?"
"Before the third brain could respond, his companions said "NO!"
Stink shrug.
"He raised the dead"
He gaped "But you all said his stories weren't real!"
"Did we?" The first brain asked "Ah well, moving on then"
Now the advisor looked at them as if they were brain damaged, no pun intended.
"The Dib was also charged with animal cruelty"
"Being cruel to inferior being is a crime?" He question in disbelief.
"By human standards"
"Phff, showing compassions for other being is weak!"
"Humans don't seem to think that"
"That's why they are inferior to the mighty Irken race!"
"Agreed… But back to the topic at hand, this boy has stolen Irken technology, that's a crime punishable by dead"
"Then why was he allowed to live?"
"Tallest Tak"
"Ah"
"Being that she is a Tallest, she is allowed the rules as she sees fit"
"I know that"
"Seemed like you needed some reminding"
"Stink growled "Ok, what else do I need to know?"
"Some investigations have revealed he is also charged with the ship-jacking of the Massive"
The alien's mouth was in a perfect "o" shape; clearly he did not know that little fact.
"Surprised?" The first brain mocked "So were we"
"So it wasn't Zim entire fault the former Tallest Red and Purple almost died? … damn, I really wanted to put the whole blame on him"
"One little thing doesn't matter, remember Zim caused way worse thing than this human ever did to our Empire"
"True"
"One disturbing crime the child committed" The second brain said putting the important topic back on the table "Was being responsible for sending the Santa Claus into space"
"Really?" Wow"
"He is also charged with resisting the invasion and attempting to save the life of his fellow slaves on more than one occasion"
"Ok, that's not news"
"He is also responsible for helping stop the plans of turning Earth into a snack filled planet"
"I thought Zim was responsible for that!"
"He had help"
"Zim should also be charged for teaming up with the enemy!" Stink snarled.
"I KNEW I was forgetting one important thing to put on Zim's rap sheet!" The first brain bellowed "Thanks Stink!"
The Irken in question raised an eyebrow sceptically at the control brain's change in demeanour "Ok this is too weird" He muttered.
If the other two ominous machines could, they would groan in exasperation, instead one simply hits the peculiar A.I in the fact of its "head"
Only then to shut down for no apparently reason.
"Uhh is that supposed to happen?" Stink asked perplexed.
"Ignore that, he'll be reactivated in within five minutes"
"Okkkkkkkkkk"
"Now, you should also know that given the fact that this Dib is only a ten year old, you should NOT underestimate him, and sometimes even children can be very clever… that's probably why he was on the FBI and CIA list to keep under observation at all times"
"Really?... That's quite an accomplishment"
"The humans viewed him as unpredictable; they saw him as a danger"
"And why was he never captured?"
"Oh he was, but its unknown how he escaped the crazy house and even the police"
Stink whistles in wonder.
"This Dib has been arrested more times than Zim ever was"
"Ok NOW that's something I don't believe!"
"This child has been arrested seventeen times; Zim was only arrested sixteen times"
"Wow… what'd he do?" Stink asked in awe "I mean he couldn't have causes disasters and stuff, I mean this kid doesn't even look all that dangerous to me"
"Most of the time he was arrested for breaking an entering"
"Pfff… what a rookie."
"He was charged with attempt in murder"
Stink raised an eyebrow.
"He tried to kill Zim"
"Ok THAT shouldn't be a crime"
"Agreed" Two out of three brains said at the same time.
The second control brain finally reactivated and asked "Ok, what did I miss?"
"Nothing important" The others responded.
"Ah well … where we're we? Ah yes The human's next crime was causing his skool to go into a severe mucus like state and he was forced to clean it afterwards"
"That… sickening"
"He was also charged with faking the existence of ghosts just so he could get famous"
Stink snickered "That's just sad"
"He was expelled from his skool several times but his father bribed the system to get him back in… the reasons for these expulsions are kinda creepy so you don't want to know about them unless you want to turn insane"
"Then let's not go there then" Stink said trying to detach his PAK from the tentacles.
"Petty thieving"
"Define petty"
"Stuff from his father's lab in the former place that was once called downtown"
"I see"
"He was put in a detention center for the juveniles for attempting to steal a powerful machine he claimed would save the Earth"
"Ah yes, ignoring him was mankind's downfall"
"Yes, is quite ironic really" The second brain said ominously.
"What else?… this kid's misfortune is really amusing!"
"We all agree on this"
"I don't" The third control brain said.
The others said "Nobody cares what you think"
"Hey people care what I have to say"
"No, not really, many think your kind of malfunctioning" Stink said to the brain "No offence".
The many eyes of the machine turned into different colors almost as it it was glaring at everyone within the room.
"Dib's final crime" The first brain mocked in a way to get order back in the room "Was staring a rebellious group against our Empire"
"Which failed horribly" The advisor smirked.
"Quite"
The tentacles released Stink and he once again hits the floor unceremoniously
"Again, did you guys really have to do that?"
"Again, yes we did"
He glared at the three control brains.
Only the third glared back.
"Well thank the Tallest this human's rap-sheet did not make my brain explode like Zim's rap-sheet almost did!"
"Then wait till you hear about the Gaz-girl's crimes… they are quite vile"
"Pff, how vile could a little girl be?"
"More so than Zim's crimes"
Here Stink's red eyes widened as the tentacles appeared and reattached to his PAK yet again "No! stop! I don't wanna know!"
Aw, poor Stink, yes I'm quite cruel to him, but its fun giving him a headache.
Well only one more chapter to go and trust me Gaz's Rap-Sheet even thought it's short is still one that will give you nightmares!
Heh heh.. see ya next chapter!
Invader Johnny Signing Off.