...for making you wait even longer for the real thing.

What, you didn't think Chris was going to get off THAT easily, did you?

-X-

CHRIS

1:50 P.M.

CIRCULAR ROOM

-X-

Heh-ha-ha! Those guys think they can escape... HA! I know what happened to Harold. If he hasn't eaten them yet, he will soon.

Another thing I know though, something I found out when searching the control room... In case Harold doesn't kill 'em, well, at least this machine here doesn't just control the switches above.

Now what was that code again?

Um...

Zom-bie.

...No.

Let's see...

Wa-wa-na-kwa.

Crap...

Hmm...

Um-brel-la.

Crap!

Uh...

Ty-rant.

Nope.

Hmm...

Wait, it was a name, wasn't it?

Yes, I remember it now.

Some guy that made this advanced strain of vi... yes!

Wil-li-am.

Nope...

...

Last name then?

Bir-kin.

An alarm sounds. YES!

THIS FACILITY WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN TEN MINUTES...

YES! Ha ha!

Now to make sure the job gets done...

I make my way back up to Ashford Hall. Harold better have slowed them down, anyway.

Make my way around the corner and...

Yes! YES! Harold's got 'em cornered! Heh-ha-ha!

"Har... Harold?"

...What the...?

"Sh...Sugar babe?"

What the hell is she...?

"Harold... I... I-I love you, white boy."

What the...?

HE STOPPED?!

NO!!

YOU DUMB OAF!! KILL 'EM!!

DAMMIT!!

I spy something on the ground. Is that...? Ha! Hahaha! Yes! I pick it up. Red dropped her shotgun! Priceless!

I pick it up and cock it. I shoot Harold in the back. He bellows.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOU DUMB FUCK?!" I fire again. "KILL 'EM! KILL 'EM!" I fire yet again, and the creature falls to a knee.

"Ugh!" I groan, cocking my shotgun once more. "Fuck it. You want something done right..." I quickly aim the gun at Leshawna and pull the trigger.

...

What the...?

No ammo?!

"Stupid gun! Work!" Frustrated, I throw the gun to the ground and stare down the brute formerly known as Harold. "You stupid monster! KILL THE FUCKING BRA--"

AGH!!

AGH!!

ACK!!

GAK!!

Let... go... of... me!

Can't... breathe...

Where... where are you taking me, you overgrown piece of--

ACK!!

Thud.

Ow... my head.

"Buh-bye," Noah says as he pushes a button, and the elevator doors close.

Ugh! Those kids! They ruined everything!

I try to stand up, but I still haven't gotten my bearings after Harold threw me into this elevator.

...Well, on the bright side, Sherri can't torture me now. I'm already dead! Heh-ha-ha!

And I bet the explosion will cause this cave to cave in. Those fuckers... I bet they won't get out on time.

So I win.

I win! Heh-ha-ha!

And the best part is... my death will be quick and painless! When the explosion comes, it'll just be a quick second, and I won't feel a thing! No agony, no torture, no nothing! Haha! Even in death, I win! Chris Maclean always wins! ALWAYS!!

The elevator stops, and suddenly my excitement does too.

Wait...

What... is... that... noise?

Sounds like... scratching...

The doors open.

No...

My face drains of color. My heart sinks. Sheer terror fills the air and clogs my lungs--I can no longer breathe.

My eyes fall on two pairs of feet, one clad in tennis shoes, the other in combat boots. Slowly, my eyes trail upwards to meet theirs, the dead teal eyes haunting me, the cold black eyes taunting me. Fresh blood dripping from blue lips, and low guttural moans that nightmares are made of.

"NO!!" I futilely try to hide in the corner of the elevator. No deal. They spot me. And they're hungry.

"G-Gwen..." Hey, this worked for Leshawna, didn't it? "Y-You were always my favorite. And C-Cody, you t-totally should've gotten the g-girl; I was rooting for you the whole t-t-t--AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" I clench my eyes shut, feeling a sudden rush of blood squirt out of me. PLEASE tell me what I think happened didn't... I open my eyes, and freak out. HE TORE MY FUCKING ARM OFF!!

...Wait, NOT THE FACE!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

I fall to the elevator floor in the pool of my own blood. Why aren't I fucking dead?! This... this... this is punishment, isn't it? Yeah... I get it now. I deserve to fucking die a horrible fucking death. I get it! Just please... have mercy on m--

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

MY LEG! YOU TOOK MY LEG TOO?!

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE MY FUCKING DICK WHILE YOU'RE AT--

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

...Please... just kill me now...

:03

Please... no more--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

:02

Aaaaaugh...

:01

Help... me...

:00

BWOO--

YOU ARE DEAD

-X-

And with that, there is only one chapter left to go.

Again, I own nothing. Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV. Resident Evil (Biohazard) is owned by Capcom.