Chapter Six

The doctor's office was small but very clean, he had heard of Doctor Fulridge before. She had a great reputation for dealing with pregnant women and Tim was glad that Kate had at least done some research on the subject before shooting off to the nearest doctor in the first stages of panic.

Tim knew Kate had special needs, this pregnancy was going to be a rough one. Especially since it was going to be her first ad only child. She need a doctor who was calm and reassuring, who could deal with the franticness and the worry he knew would besiege her. Tim knew that Kate would make a great mom, it was whether Kate knew that that was the problem.

He was standing alongside side Kate at the current moment. She was resting on the examination table dressed in a blue paper gown that rustled as swung her legs lightly back and forth. The sound of crunching distracted him momentarily, he rose his eyebrows as Kate chewed the 'mommy to be' lollipop between her teeth.

The receptionist had handed her one in the waiting room. She had offered Tim one too but he had politely declined. That hadn't stopped Kate form discreetly pocketing his lollipop to save for later. and that was just one of the strange things he had experienced in the past twenty four hours.

Tim had to admit he did not like being trapped here in the doctors office, when the time came he would have to avert his gaze, and he wasn't entirely sure where. The baby posters on the wall and the charts about monitoring it's progression were freaking him out a little. Add to that the excessive college of baby pictures stuck to the wall, every single one of a different child it made him feel a little on edge. It all so rallied home the point. He was also pretty sure the babies were staring at him with their glistening beady eyes.

He felt his chest constricting a little as he thought about the baby tucked away in Kate's stomach. He was ninety percent sure that the baby was his. When he found out about Daniel he had kicked himself for being too drunk to use a condom, although he loved his son dearly. Four years later he still had not learned from that basic mistake.

At th time it hadn't even crossed mind, he'd been caught up in the desperation of claiming Kate as his own again. Tim sighed crossing his arms over his chest again at that thought. That plan had gone real well...

When it came to Kate he thought with the wrong head and here was the proof of that.

It was different when Daniel had walked into his life, he wasn't prepared but at the same time he was ready. Daniel had been four years old, he was passed the physical dependency stage. He could feed himself, go the bathroom, he had his own bed and books and toys.

But a baby...

Babies couldn't do anything for themselves, he remembered looking down at M.J when he was first born and watching as she child shook his tiny fists and wobbled from side to side. That was the only real movement he could make besides the ear piercing cry when he wanted something. Autumn always seemed to know what he wanted, Tim could never really figure out how...

They say when a baby is born so is a mother, but what about a Father? Tim thought.

The thought of having something so tiny and defenseless scared the hell out of him. Even his pet hamster Muggles from third grade had been pretty self sufficient. That was the only experience he could really link something that dependent to and it sucked. He couldn't believe he was comparing his baby to a hamster.

The doctor had entered the room somewhere between him pulling faces at the baby college and his revelations over the hamster and the baby. Doc Fulridge was a tall attractive woman, who wore scrubs with teddy bears on them. She was already pulling on a pair of latex gloves as she smiled cheerily at the two of them.

"So is this dad?" Doc asked, raising her eyes to Tim.

He felt like he was being observed and measured against her standard of partner for Kate. Maybe she could sense that he didn't have the first clue what to do with a baby, or maybe she was glad that Kate wasn't another single mom like most the woman in here seemed to be.

"Uh huh." Kate responded taking the lollipop stick out of her mouth and handing it to Tim before lying back on the examination table.

"It's nice to see a guy in here. I don't see that very often." Doc told him, placing Kate's feet in the stir ups.

Tim blanched realizing what he was about to be privy to. There was a slight sickness in the pit of his stomach and he felt the color drain from his face.

"I need to..." he trailed off knowing only that he needed to get the hell out of this room.

"You need some air, we'll be a little while. Why don't you go snag mom some more lollipops?" Doc offered warmly, indicating towards the door.

"I will do that." Tim said taking a deep breath to steady himself as he stepped towards the door.

One thought kept repeating in his head as he passed through it.

I'm going to be a father.

The sun was setting on the horizon as they strolled along the promenade. The two of them were walking slowly, basking in the cool breeze as they enjoyed the view. Kate's hand rested on her stomach, as they paced together, their bodies weren't touching but the two of them were close enough for their hands to accidentally brush each other.

The baby was safe, Doc had informed them that the heartbeat was strong and steady. Kate was openly relieved, he could tell. Her eyes twinkled as they walked and her skin seemed to glow. She was beautiful and carefree. She turned her head towards him, catching him staring at her. Tim glanced away pretending he was looking out to the waves crashing against the shore.

"I want this baby Kate." Tim said suddenly into the air, breaking the calm between them.

Kate bowed her head, her gaze straying to her stomach as she cradled it between her hands. It was hard to get used to that, hard not to do it himself although he wanted to so badly.

"Yea me too." she uttered, running her hand over the slight raise in her white top.

"This is it isn't it?" Tim questioned. "This is your only chance..."

Kate cut him off with am abrupt answer, she didn't want to talk about that time. Hagen was the reason she was lacking in the baby department.

"Yea."

Tim looked down at his hands, part of it he felt was his fault. He hadn't been able to give her what she wanted back then, what she needed. He had been frightened and life had gotten in the way. He had taken hr for granted, like hell he wished he hadn't.

"I guess I should be honored that it was me and not Mathew that knocked you up." Tim said, the muscles in his face tightening at the thought.

"You always wanted to have the family, the white picket fence, the kids and the husband. I never gave you that." Tim explained gruffly, trying to hide his regret.

"Well you could have." Kate chimed in, pausing for a second, her hand resting on the back of a wooden bench.

"You getting tired?" Tim asked, taking hold of her arm gently and guiding her to sit on the bench instead.

"Yea I am a little." she admitted as the two of them sat beside each other over looking the sea.

Tim's arm came to rest on the back of the bench, he wasn't touching her but she could feel the heat from his skin, and she found that comforting. She resisted the urge to lean into him, that would change things and she wasn't ready for that. She was still so painfully angry at him. Some days it burned inside her so brightly she thought she was going to bitch slap him. Other it simply just hurt.

The two of them sat in silence, Tim enjoyed the companionship. There was a closeness between them, like a secret shared. In reality this was a secret. This was their secret.

"I didn't do this on purpose." Kate said into the air, looking down at the baby nestled in her stomach. "Before you left and we were trying..."

"I know." he said, removing his arm from the back of the bench and running his hands through his unruly black hair.

"Is that why you left, is that part of it?" she said quietly.

Tim's gaze flitted towards her, her head was bowed down as she toyed with the silver bracelet on her wrist. He realized it was the bracelet he had given her a lifetime ago. The one in the midnight blue Tiffany box, with the anchor charm. Faith Hope and Charity. It had meant something to them once upon a time, and now she was still wearing it.

Tim averted his gaze back to the sea, rubbing the palms of his hands against each other frowning.

"No it didn't have anything to do with that." Tim told her, staring at his hands. "It was hard, not being able to give you the baby we wanted, I thought... I felt I was inadequate...."

"Now you just have super sperm." Kate pointed out humorously slumping back against the bench. "So why did you leave? We've had threats before, we will probably have them again."

"They were threatening you and Daniel. I couldn't force you to do Witness Protection, it wouldn't have been fair after everything you've been through. I couldn't face the idea that they were going to hurt you. After Hagen and Jessica..." he hesitated, swallowing hard. "I couldn't stand seeing that happen gain. I couldn't put you at risk."

They were silent again. It stretched between them filling the gap.

"Do you still believe in fate?" Kate asked, without looking at him.

"Yea...." he admitted. "I still do."

He already knew what the next question was, or at least he thought he did but Kate was always uprisings him.

"I do too." she said instead, looking out to sea.

That was an answer in its own. One he chose not to interpret.

"I want to be involved with this baby Kate." Tim reiterated. " I want to be involved the way I couldn't be with Daniel."

"I would never deny you that." Kate told him, placing her hands on her lap.

"You've already denied me three, maybe four months of the pregnancy." he pointed out.

"It's my pregnancy." she reminded him, raising her eyebrows and shaking her head.

"It's our baby, development starts in the womb." Tim paused, driving his point home. "When I say I want to be involved I mean all the way, until this baby outgrows us."

She could hear the honesty ring true in this words. She knew that Tim Speedle never did things by half and that he would be there every step of the way if thats what this baby needed.

"So what do you propose we do?" Kate said placing the responsibility in his capable hands.

If she was honest, she was exhausted. She was tired of making the hard decisions, trying to make the right choices, she wanted to share that responsibility, to take the burden off her shoulders and simply go along for the ride.

Tim clasped his hands together before tipping his head towards her, meeting her gaze. Her bright sapphire eyes met his dark chocolate, his fingers walked across her lap before he reached out and clasped her hand. His fingers were reassuring and gentle against her skin, a his thumb smoothed over her knuckles as he spoke.

"I guess that all depends on you."