Chapter 14

Author's Notes:

I blame Matdeception for this. Its all his damned fault.

-Training Ground 44-

"All right kiddies, gather round," Inoichi boomed as he struck the ground with his cane, "Welcome to the Forest of Death."

"Ooooh, are we supposed to be scared?" a rain nin spoke up with a sneering sarcasm to his words.

Inoichi gave the boy a look, before raising his cane, and merely pointing in his direction. What most failed to see, was the sudden sliver of a shadow that lanced out, and connected with the boy's. Suddenly, the sarcastic froze up, then began to sing.

"I'm a little bitch boy short and stout," the rain nin suddenly reached down, grabbing at his crotch, "Here is my handle and my spout. When I get all whiny, and shoot off my mouth," the boy suddenly bent forward, "Bend me over and pound my ass out!"

"Now then," as Inoichi lowered his cane, the Rain nin suddenly returned his senses, trembling pale as he stared back at the man with wide, fearful eyes, "Anyone else want to be a smart ass?"

As heads rapidly shook all around the area, Ino leaned in and whispered into Naruto's ear, "He is SOOOO teaching me that technique."

"Just remember," Naruto countered, "You sure as hell aren't using it on me."

"Awww," Ino pouted softly, "But, you'd look so good doing a little dance."

Naruto pointedly ignored his fellow blonde's leering look as he let Hiashi pick up where Inoichi left off.

"Before we begin, we'll need each of you to sign one of these waivers," Hiashi said as the group of kunoichi each held up a stack of forms, waving them about with sweet smiles.

"Huh?" Kiba spoke up, "What do we need to do that for?!"

"Oh, some of you are going to be hurt, tortured, and killed," Inoichi said casually as he rested his hands on his cane once more, "Can't have us being held responsible for that, now can we? This is going to be a scroll battle."

"A scroll battle?" someone asked.

"Each team will be given one of two scrolls," Hiashi lifted up a pair of different colored scrolls, "A Heaven scroll, and an Earth scroll. You'll have five days to acquire and deliver one of each type to the Tower in the center of the training ground."

"You can use whatever techniques and weapons at your disposal," Inoichi continued, looking around them with a bemused smirk on his face, "There are no rules. Half of your teams will receive a Heaven Scroll, half of you will receive an Earth Scroll."

"There are only three things that will disqualify you from this competition," the head of the Hyuga clan spoke up, "One, you do not make it to the tower with both scrolls within the time limit. Two, you lose one of your teammates, or a teammate is killed. Three, you open up your scrolls before entering the tower."

"There will be no breaks, and no quitting," Inoichi shot Shikamaru a look as he said the last part, where the spiky haired boy had the decency to grumble and look away, "You'll receive your scroll once you turn in your completed waiver forms."

"Huh," Naruto grinned serenely, "What do you know, time to have fun already."

"Indeed..." Gaara spoke up as he created a table to sign the forms on with his sand, "I take it you're planning on fulfilling your promise about the sound nin?"

"Mmhmmm...." Naruto nodded, before frowning slightly, "They seem to be paying a little bit too much attention to Sasuke."

"I noticed," the stoic boy responded as he filled out his forms then slide his table over to Naruto's team, "Could you please release my sister, so she can prepare herself?"

"Mmm, I suppose," Naruto agreed grudgingly, as his two clones went to work untying the girl, "All good things have to come to an end at some point in time."

"Thank you," Gaara responded evenly as he looked around him, "I would be most... dissatisfied to not have you make it through this test with us."

"Along with your Sakura-chan?" Naruto teased the boy with a grin.

"That thought had occurred to me, yes," Gaara answered, a slight reddening to his cheeks.

"Then, we watch out for our friends teams, and if we come across them, we do our best to make sure they make it through."

"There are enough open slots for that to be a viable option," Gaara nodded in agreement.

"Sounds like a plan," Naruto nodded back and grinned, "We're gonna head after the sound team, we've gotta ambush them, and take care of things with enough time to make certain we get the right scroll if we still need to."

"Understood," Gaara nodded.

"If you two are finished your evil plots?" Ino spoke up, her eyes twinkling with amusement, "The rest of us are ready to get our scrolls."

"Bah, we will never be finished with our plots!" Naruto countered, "Not until we've got enough nookie calling us away to make it worth while. Right Gaara?"

"Agreed," Gaara nodded back.

"Boys," Hinata rolled her eyes slightly and then smirked at Temari, "No matter how dangerous they are, they're still little kids with their toys."

"Hehehehe," Naruto practically giggled, "Hinata-chan, can we keep that cute little sound nin who's teammates like to shoot their mouths off?"

"Like you need my permission, Naruto-kun," Hinata shot back, giggling back, "We follow you, remember?"

"Yeah," Ino smirked as she leaned over, resting her arms against his shoulders, "You want her, well... You did say you wanted us to practice our conversion techniques, right?"

"Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have you girls lately?" Naruto smirked back, "Come on, lets go get our scroll."

"Right, Naruto-kun!" Ino giggled softly, her eyes dancing playfully, "Besides, I want to have a pet I can play with."

"Instead of being our pet all the time?" Hinata giggled as she wrapped her arm about Ino's waist.

"Well, I'm not complaining Hinata-chan," Ino responded, "But..."

"You want someone you can take charge of too," Naruto finished with a smirk and a nod, "There's something fishy about those three anyway... We'll just have to make sure we deal with them."

"Come on, lets go get this thing started," Hinata giggled as she sauntered towards the hut, swaying her hips casually as she did.

"Couldn't agree more my little puppy, couldn't agree more."

-Jounin Lounge-

"Please?"

It was a slow, soft word, that tugged against Kurenai's sense of decency. The tones, quivering just enough to sound pleading, without the pathetic undertone of desperation. If she'd looked, she knew she'd find herself confronted by a wide, expressive, puppy dog gaze.

"For the last time, Baki," she responded, "I'll let you borrow it when I'm finished!"

"Damn," the man grumbled softly as he crossed his arms about his chest, and proceeded, to... sulk.

"Why don't you go bug Anko or something? Why do you keep trying to get mine?!" she growled softly at him.

"Because, I'm not stupid?" the sand jounin countered as he sighed and then crossed his legs and settled there on the floor, palms up, as he began to work a look of concentration on his face.

Asuma watched with an arched brow as the other jounin began to summon a soft, flowing breeze to float around his body. Eyes widening for a moment, the younger Sarutobi then proceeded to reveal a very, Naruto-like grin. Taking a deep puff from his cigarette, the man suddenly exhaled a small cloud of smoke, even as he could feel the annoyed stares thrown in his direction.

Ignoring them, he took on a look of concentration of his own, and quirked a lip as the smoke slowly formed itself into the shape of a monkey. Grinning as the sand jounin's eyes remained closed, the smoke monkey quickly waddled over to the man. Studying the revealed half of the man's face, the monkey's tail twitched, this way and that, is head twisting to the side, wide, expressive eyes studying the image before him. Then, the rest of the group blinked as it some pulled a smoke banana out and proceeded to eat.

The Hokage himself, gave his son an arched brow, a curious amusement on his face. Winking back, Asuma grinned, the look of concentration still focused and intent, as the monkey polished off, its banana. Finished, it stood, stretched out, then proceeded to throw its smoke banana peel directly into Baki's nose.

The slight impact against his skin, caused the Suna Jounin's eyes to snap open as his fingers lifted up. Even as he rubbed lightly at the affected area, a soft round of chuckles escaped those around them. Narrowing his eyes, he took a look from the serenely smiling monkey floating in front of him, to the grinning Asuma.

"Oh, try to make a monkey out of me will you?" there was a bit of humor in the man's voice as he concentrated himself.

Suddenly, the thin smoke escaping the Hokage's pipe, stilled and slowly pooled together. A thick, formless thing, it floated back over to the monkey. After a moment, of swirling around, shifted and morphed itself into an approximation of a man, making a bring it expression with its hand.

To which, the monkey paused, looked over the man, then proceeded to scratch itself. As Sarutobi caught his face in his palm, the rest of the group broke into soft chuckles. The monkey itself proceeded to flop back on its ass and pull out another banana.

At the incredulous looks sent at his son, the Hokage himself spoke up, "Where do you think Naruto got his start pranking?"

Again the group turned there attention back to the smoky figures, and their controllers. Asuma wore a half lazy grin on his lips, muted and amused as his monkey was finishing off his banana. His own lips twitching, Baki looked back at the man, before suddenly his smoky figure was holding an entire bushel of bananas in its hands.

Immediately the monkey froze, staring back at the bananas. To its horror, the smoky man, pulled one off, then proceeded to eat it himself. Giving a slight screech of anger, the monkey jumped to its feet, racing towards the man in a fury.

Until it slipped over the banana peel it had tossed away earlier and flipped over, landing on its face with a solid thump. For a moment, no one said anything, the merely stared at the show in front of them. Then, the laughter began, slowly from Kakashi and Gai, before the Hokage, and the girls joined, followed finally by Baki himself.

Smiling softly, Asuma leaned back, allowing his monkey to disperse back into smoke, "Nice to know I've still got it."

-Training Ground 44-

"So, we've got the Sound team a good eight gates over," Naruto said casually, his eyes twinkling wickedly, "I figured I'd use shadow clone scouts for recon, and we keep puppy close in case something slips by them."

"What're we gonna do when we find them?" Ino spoke up, her brow arched up casually.

"Oh, I had a few ideas..." Naruto waggled his brows again.

"Uh oh," Hinata spoke up with a giggle, "Sounds like trouble."

"What, you make it sound like I'd go out of my way to cause problems for those poor, innocent ninja from Hidden Sound," the boy spoke up, a tone of mock hurt rippling through his voice as he lay his hand over his heart, "How could you possibly think that of me Hinata-chan?"

"Mmm," the girl paused a moment, considering, "Because you're our snuggly, evil Cuddles-kun?"

"I'm so gonna kill Anko-chan for that," Naruto muttered softly as the chunin at the gate looked at them oddly.

"No, you're not," Ino responded with a grin, "You're going to grumble, glare at her, tease her mercilessly and torment her, but you'd never kill her."

"Yeah, you'd never let yourself ruin Iruka-sensei's sex life like that," Hinata agreed.

"Damn, you got me," Naruto grumbled softly and sighed before flicking his eyes over at the Jounin, "So, how much longer?"

"Not much, just a few more moments," the chunin responded easily enough, "Any particular reason you're targetting the sound team?"

"Several," Naruto grinned back, "They assaulted a Leaf nin just before the exam started, they ran off their mouths that they were definitely going to be chunin, and they've been eying my buddy like they plan to do something to him."

"And suddenly I remember why its never a good idea to end up as your target," the chunin deadpanned as he unlocked the gates, "Time to begin is.... NOW!"

Instantly Naruto made his signs, producing 30 shadow clones who immediately transformed them selves into random looking shinobi and fanned out in the direction of the sound nin. Smirking back at the girls, the original stretched out slowly then nodded his head in the appropriate direction. Taking his queue, the three shot up into the trees and began to race their way across the forest.

-Out of another gate-

"Did either of you just feel a chill run down your spines?" the female Sound nin spke up as she raced across the treetops.

"Quit being so damned nervous, Kin," the unbandaged boy responded, "These little babies don't stand a chance against us."

"We shouldn't get over confident, Zaku!" the third member snapped, "You want to be the one to go to Orochimaru-sama and tell him we fucked up and failed because we were stupid and got over confidant?"

"Come on, like you don't agree with me, Dosu!" Zaku sneered back, "We completely out class these losers!"

"Maybe, maybe not," Kin countered as she kept racing through the trees, "Did you see the looks the examiners were giving that blonde kid? Its like they were afraid of him."

"Of that loud mouthed loser?" Zaku sneered again, "Just goes to show you how weak these guys really are!"

"Kin's right," Dosu responded quietly, "There was something wrong about him. The way he and that Suna nin were talking... He was too confidant. I suppose it could be nothing, but..."

"You both worry entirely too much!" Zaku shot back, "Come on, lets go find that damned Uchiha, the sooner we put him in the ground, the sooner we finish this stage."

"Right," Kin responded quietly, her dark eyes dancing around, watching the shadows, as she couldn't help but wonder just what the hell was creeping her out so badly.

-Racing a distance away-

"So, what direction you think they're gonna head for?" Ino asked curiously as she jumped from tree limb to tree limb.

"Well, operating on the idea that they're trying to intercept Sasuke..." Naruto shrugged slightly, "My Clones will let me know when they come across them. All we can do in the mean time...."

Whatever he might have said was cut off as Hinata grabbed hold of the two and pulled them both suddenly up against a tree. The pair immediately threw their teammate a questioning look, staying silent as their eyes quickly tracked around the forest. With a silent gesture, the girl pointed down towards the ground, where they could see a trio of Rain nin looking around.

His eyes narrowing, Naruto nodded back to the Hyuga girl, pursing his lips in consideration. Ino sent him a questioningly look, but he held his hand up. Lips twitching, the boy weighed their options. They had 5 days to eliminate the Sound team, but still, the longer they waited the more likely they'd either reach Sasuke, or get the scroll they needed to move on.

Finally, he decision was made for him, as he could hear one of the Rain nin finally speak, "Dammit, I could have sworn I heard someone... Was hoping it was that loud mouth Leaf brat's team. Put that little idiot in his place."

Blue eyes narrowing, Naruto nodded, making a quick gesture from Ino, to the last of the foreign trio. Making his signs, two more clones popped into place next to her, taking hold of each of her arms, steadying her in place. Lightly tapping one of the seals lain inside his jacket, Naruto flashed the fingers of one hand three times at Hinata, who nodded dutifully, then tensed as the blonde boy prepared himself.

"Heh, the brat's probably lost," another of the nin smirked, just as Naruto launched himself into the air above them, "All sniveling and crying with those two girls of his..."

Whatever else the three might've said, was cut off by the sudden lash of a heavy iron chain crashing roughly into the shoulder of the first nin, sending him to the ground with a sudden cry of alarm and pain. The second, barely had time to dodge out of the way as Naruto landed, and immediately began to whirl on him. Chains snaked at him with an angry hiss of of motion, ripping through the air over and over again as he struggled to keep out of their reach.

A chunk of bark, blasted directly in front of him as for a moment, those brilliant blue eyes flashed against his own, and the Rain nin fought down the rising urge to cower in fear. Cold, merciless things, they kept driving him back as those chains moved like extensions of his arms, twisting and coiling almost impossibly at his body. Until, suddenly the boy felt light impacts on the back of his body, then sudden, searing pain as he suddenly couldn't move.

Desperation in his eyes, the Rain nin looked over at his final companion, only to stare in shock as he saw him tying up their injured comrade. As his body fell limply to the ground, he stared up at the pale face of the lavender eyed girl smiling sweetly down at him. Then, suddenly he was rolled over, his face pushed into the dirt as he could feel his limp limbs secured into place.

As he finished doing the same to final member of the trio, Naruto, dragged all three together, and smirked as he watched the final one's head drop for a moment, before snapping back up, shock and confusion written on his features. Snickering to himself, the blonde boy looked over inquiringly at Hinata. However, before the girl could respond, Ino's voice snapped out at the two of them.

"Dammit, Naruto-kun!" Ino whined softly as she landed next to him, followed shortly by both shadow clones, each of which was smirking in amusement, "What've I told you about how to handle my body when I'm using that jutsu?"

"Sorry, Kitten," Naruto called back, "But we're in the middle of a mission, play time can wait until later. Puppy?"

"The middle one's pack," Hinata responded simply, "So, Cuddles, What should we do we these three?"

"When we get out of here..." one of the captured nin growled.

"Ooh, Now you see, you really shoudln't have said that," Naruto grinned softly, "Now I'm afraid we're just gonna have to... use you three as an example. Hopefully one of the proctors will find you, before the wildlife or one of the more... bloodthirsty teams does."

Several minutes later, three completely nude forms were dangling from one of the thicker branches jutting in a small clearing. Each, had been gagged by their own underwear. On their chests, a simple warning was written: "They crossed Cuddles, Puppy and Kitten and paid the price."

It would be some time before they were found.

-Else where-

Neji's eyes kept flickering, visibly this way and that as his team made their way through the forest. A light layer of sweat, shown across his face, as a nervous twitch, slipped beneath his eye. Almost every little noise made him jump, skittering away to jump behind Lee with a look of fear on his face.

"Yosh! My most unyouthful teammate, what is the matter?!" Lee asked with a blink as he looked at once again cowering Hyuga.

"They're out there!" the boy almost blubbered, his eyes shining with fear, "Somewhere! Just waiting for me! I know it!"

"Who, Neji?" Tenten asked, her eyebrow lifting up slightly as she watched her normally stoically collected teammate approach a nervous break down.

"Naruto-sama!" Neji exclaimed, "He's out there somewhere! With Hinata-sama, and Ino-sama! They're just waiting, I know it! They're just waiting for the chance to jump me. This is the perfect opportunity for them!"

"Uh, Neji, I doubt that Naruto and the girls are stalking you," Tenten looked at Lee, then shrugged helplessly, "They have other things to worry about..."

"You're right..." Neji responded, much to the girl's relief, "He'll get Sasuke-sama to do it! He'll tie me up again, pull down my pants, and then teach me the meaning of the word respect again!"

Tenten stared at the boy, as his eyes took on an almost fevered look, "Um..."

"Tenten, do you have any idea what our most unyouthful teammate is talking about?" Lee asked, confusion growing as he felt his rival begin to sob against his back.

"Errr..." Tenten could feel a trickle of sweat curling down the side of her face, even as she fought down the mental images the words conjured up, and the drool that came with them, "Its... err..."

"Yes?" the boy asked again.

"Its complicated," the girl finished lamely as she could hear Neji begin to mutter under his breath.

"Please, Sasuke-sama, I'll be good! I promise... I'll be a good boy! No, not that Sasuke-sama! Its too big! Pleeeeeease, nooooooo! Not there!"

"Yosh! It sounds as if our comrade had a grand battle against the Uchiha!" Lee proclaimed.

"Yeah... A really... Big... Battle," Tenten nodded, fighting the trickle of drool that was threatening to slide down out the corner of her mouth, "That's it exactly."

"I will have to challenge him to do the same!" Lee almost shouted as he struck a pose, "To overcome what my most unyouthful rival Neji could not!"

Tenten froze as the image in her head, began to change, and she immediately let off a whimper, quickly shaking her head, "NO! For the love of all things pointy and sharp, NOOOOOO!"

"Tenten?!" taken aback by her outburst, Lee almost toppled over the curled up form of Neji.

"You must NEVER try to engage in that with Sasuke! EVER!"

"But..."

"EVER!!!!"

"But..."

"I'm serious! If I EVER hear that you even TRIED, I will hunt you down and I will make you an offering to the Gods of Kunai, Shuriken and various other objects of sharp pointy death!"

"Eeep!" Lee flinched back from the rabid fury burning in the girl's eyes, "Tenten! This is most unyouthful behavior!"

"Lee, seriously do not want to even CONSIDER the image such an encounter brings to mind. EVER!" the girl shivered as a look of green disgust slithered across her features, "Now go and do a quick patrol while Neji recovers."

"But..."

"NOW!" Tenten's eyes burned back into the protesting boy's.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Lee stiffened immediately, snapping off a salute before vanishing in a cloud of dust as he took off.

"... Why can't you be that protective of me?" Neji whined, "Willing to protect Lee but not me!"

"That wasn't about protecting Lee," Tenten countered, "That was about protecting my mind from those evil, evil images that would destroy such a lovely scene."

Neji could feel a chill running down his spine as he stared up at his teammate.

"Now..." she smiled, with a sweet, predatory hunger down at him, "Tell Tenten-chan, aaaaaalllllll about what Sasuke-sama did to her pretty little Neji.. I want ALL the details."

In the distance, the pitiful whimperings of a fallen Hyuga, sent shivers down the spines of any male creatures that heard it.

-Else where-

"Did you hear that?" Kin spoke up, her eyes shifting cautiously.

"Yes," Dosu nodded, "The broken whimperings of a pretty boy, being forced to divulge the humiliating details of his sexual abuse."

"How the hell do you know what that sounds like?" Zaku stared at the bandaged boy.

"Tayuya," Kin and Dosu answered in sudden unison.

"She used torment the stories out of Kimmimaro," Dosu continued, "Would reduce the guy to a blubbering, useless wreck for days, at least until Orochimaru-sama finally got him some proper counseling."

"What the fuck...!?" Zaku stared from Dosu to Kin, his eyes widened in shock.

"She's Tayuya," Kin responded with a shrug, as if that explained everything, "And she's got a bit of a yaoi fetish."

"And makes me glad that I'm too damned ugly for her to have any interest in," Dosu affirmed, before looking over at Zaku for a moment, "I'd advise you to get your face fucked up as soon as possible."

"Man, you guys are really pussies!" Zaku shook his head, "Freaking out over stupid shit like that..."

"Zaku, she's a genjutsu user," Dosu continued patiently.

"Yeah, so...?"

"Give it a rest Dosu," Kin spoke up and shook her head, "I'm sure she'll introduce him to what we're talking about soon enough."

"Whatever," the bandaged boy responded with a shrug.

"Ah! There you are!" a voice suddenly called out ahead of them, "We've been looking all over for you three!"

Instantly all three Sound nin were on guard, fingers curling towards their weapons as they snapped their attention around them as they spotted the three figures in Rain headbands standing lazily on a tree limb in front of them.

"Yeah, boss has had us searching all over for you," a second voice added, "Had us all trying to figure out where you'd be..."

"Fortunately, you were headed right where he figured you'd be," the third finished, "Straight towards the Uchiha."

"Who the hell are you three supposed to be?!" Zaku snarled eying the three warily, "And what the fuck do you know about that?!"

"I swear, if HE doesn't kill him, I will," Kin groaned softly in emphasis.

"Indeed," Dosu agreed, his visible eye narrowing at their teammate, "Zaku, shut up."

"What? If they find anything out, we just kill them and be done with it," the boy sneered back, "Not like Orochimaru-sama will care, as long as we kill the Uchiha too."

"Your friend is an idiot," one of the Rain nin observed casually, "I mean, seriously, he's a complete and utter moron."

"We know," Kin noted sourly, as she took hold her senbon needles, "And if we didn't need him for this damned exam, I'd kill him now."

"We just need to kill this idiots and be done with it! There's only three of them!" Zaku snarled again.

"Well there were four of us," one of the other nin noted, "But we figured that wasn't quite how to handle things, so we got rid of him."

"Shit," Dosu growled, "Now we've got to kill these three AND deal with where ever the fourth one went! Are you happy now Zaku?!"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about him," one of the Ame nin said dismissively, "We stabbed him with a kunai."

"What you do have to worry about," a new voice spoke up, "Is the fact that he was a shadow clone, and now the rest of us know where you are."

"Which means, well..." another voice sounded, as one by one figures quickly arrived, and suddenly, the sound nin found themselves surrounded by a ring of over 20 different fingers, all holding various kinds of smirks on their faces.

"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU DUMB SHIT?!" Kin practically screamed at Zaku, her eyes burning, "You could have just kept your damned mouth shut, and everything would be fine, but Noooooo, you had to go and screw us all..." when the boy started to respond, "So help me, if you're about to say, 'We just have to kill them all' I am going to shove these needles straight into the miserable little things you call balls!"

"Feisty, isn't she?" one of the figures spoke up, leaning against the tree with a Suna forehead protector, "Well I've got some good news, and some bad news for you boys, and some good and bad news for you girlie."

"And what would that be?" Dosu asked cautiously as he looked around him, taking note of where each figure stood.

"Well, do you want the good news, or the bad news first?"

"I can imagine what the good news would be," Dosu drawled out, "So lets here the good news first."

"You two don't have to worry about her killing and/or maiming either of you."

"I see," Dosu nodded, "The bad news, being that we'll be dead?"

"Not by us," one of the figures grinned, "Our bad news was that you wouldn't be making it to the third round, sorry!"

"Then my good news would be not having to put up with Zaku anymore," Kin noted with a slight drawl.

"Or Orochimaru," Another voice offered up.

"And the bad that I don't get to finish the chunin exams?"

"Well, yes, in a way," one of the first three figures responded, "YOU we are going to eliminate."

"Shit," the girl swore, her eyes widening in shock.

"Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way," another voice spoke, "You can give us the girl, we deal with her, and you go on about your way."

"Or you can fight, get your asses beaten to the ground, and we still deal with her," came through the forest.

"I don't take orders from stupid shits like you!" Zaku sneered as he raised his hands towards a group of figures then suddenly unleashed a blast of destructive air towards one group of figures he thought looked a bit more clustered than the others.

Instantly the figures in the range of the blast scattered, leaving a momentary opening, only to have it immediately filled as three more figures showed up.

"Meh, you guys just couldn't help but play around, could you?" Naruto spoke up as he glared at the collected figures.

"Eheh, Sorry, Boss!" the figures all called sheepishly.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, the blonde boy sighed before looking at the Sound Trio, "So, how much did these idiots blab."

"Oh, you know, not going to make it to the chunin exams, not having to deal with my teammate's stupidity, ELIMINATING me!" Kin snapped back with a glare.

"Yeah, definitely feisty," Naruto nodded, "A shame isn't it girls?"

"Uh huh," Ino nodded, smirking a smirk eerily identical to Naruto's, "Really such a shame."

"She would have made a nice pet," Hinata agreed, smiling softly at the girl, "Do we really have to get rid of her Naruto-kun? She's quite pretty."

As Kin blushed brightly, trying to stammer out a response, her two teammates never saw the sudden stiffening she did when Naruto answered Hinata, "Yes, she is, but... A mission's a mission after all. Can't let people try to kill off our nin in our own village, just bad form that. She just was the one unlucky enough to get the short stick."

"You drew straws on which one of us you were going to try and kill?" Dosu asked curiously, head tilting to the side as he studied everything around them. Only Zaku had the appropriate abilities to do much of anything at this range, he had to draw out time, to figure out some kind of plan.

"Only fair way really," Naruto said as he lightly adjusted his sleeves, "Though, it really does work out for the best, as she's apparently the brains of your little outfit."

"All right, you sonuva..." Zaku began to growl, before suddenly, he was struck in the back of his head, by a squat, black piece of rubber, "WHAT the FUCK!?

"Butt plugs," said the smirking figure that had thrown the plug at him from behind, "Best for shutting up assholes."

Dosu fought down a chuckle that ached to escape his lips, before his visible eye widened suddenly, "MOVE!"

The three figures leapt away just in time to avoid the sudden crash of heavy iron chains crushing the branch they'd been on as Naruto stormed through the air towards them.

"Got you, you bastard!" Zaku crowed as he aimed his hands at the figure and let off a massive air blast.

"Zaku you idiot!" Dosu snarled as he watched his teammate's controlled jump suddenly accelerate into an uncontrolled launch that sent the boy flying back through the trees before slamming hard into a particularly thick trunk.

Naruto himself, grinned as a rope lashed out from his jacket and snagged a branch, nearby, allowing him to easily swing himself out of the way of the blast, "Man, he's really helpful isn't he? Makes my job all the easier."

"Dammit!" Dosu growled, before he looked around, frowning, when he realized he couldn't find Kin anywhere, "KIN! Where are you?!"

"OH, she's right here!" a cheerful voice spoke up, and the bandaged nin's eyes widened as he caught the sight of his remaining teammate wrapped up in string after string of explosive notes, her eyes wide with fear, "I do so love being a ninja, don't you? Being able to have these little slips of paper, and make it so easy to go BOOM!"

"You still have to let her go... and that gives me time to grab her," Dosu growled back.

"That is true," the man nodded sagely as the notes began to burn, "Only one problem with that logic."

"And that is...?"

"I'm just a clone," the man grinned back at Dosu, before the area suddenly exploded in a thunderous roar, an acrid cloud of smoke and the smell of burning flesh, and a brilliant flash of fire.

"DAMMIT!" Dosu swore as he was thrown back slightly by the strength of the explosion.

"Well, mission accomplished," Naruto spoke up cheerfully, "You boys have fun, and don't come back, ya hear?"

And with that, the various figures all faded away through the trees, and in moments later, Dosu was alone with the slumped figure of Zaku, "We are so fucked!"

-Some Distance away-

"Well, that went surprisingly well," Naruto noted simply, "She even had their scroll with her."

"I'm kinda surprised they didn't realize that clone of yours wasn't me," Ino noted with a slight smirk, "No offense Naruto-kun, but you need to work on your impersonation skills."

"Eh, that's only if I was trying to fool someone who actually knew you," Naruto shot back, grinning sweetly, "Then I'd just flirt like an alley cat in heat and plop down into my own lap."

"Humph!" Ino glared at the boy indignantly, "You make me sound like some kind of wanton slut!"

"Just for me and Hinata-chan my dear Ino-chan," Naruto shot back, winking at her as he slipped up, wrapping an arm about her waist as she could feel his body pressing to her own, "Or do you want to dispute that?"

"Dammit," Ino practically purred as she leaned back into him, "You know what that does to me Naruto-kun."

"If you two are done flirting?" Hinata spoke up, a twinkle of amusement in her eyes, "We do need to start dealing with our... prize."

"Ah, right," Naruto nodded as he reluctantly as he gentle let go Ino and turned to where a pair of his clones were holding the trussed up Kin, "So, how's it feel to be dead?"

"Mmmph mmM!" the girl's muffled shouts could be heard through the rubber ball gag stuffed into her mouth.

"Sorry about the gag and what not, but we do need to keep you quiet until we've gotten you to a properly... secure location," Naruto responded casually, as he pulled out a tag, "We wouldn't want to have your... interrogation interrupted now would we?"

Kin's eyes widened in fear as she saw tag so similar to the ones that had been used to created her "death" and immediately renewed her struggling, "MPH!"

Naruto rolled his eyes in response as he stuck the tag to her chest, "Really, and here I thought you'd be the smart one. We just went through all the trouble of capturing you, faking your death, and you think we're gonna just turn around and suddenly blow you up for shits and giggles?"

"Well, she was under orders from Anko-sensei's old teacher," Hinata supplied helpfully, "So, I suppose..."

If anything, Kin paled even more as she stared at the three. It was bad enough that she had been captured by enemy nins, who knew that she had been tasked with the death of one of their own. To learn that they'd been taught by Orochimaru's apprentice? She was well and truly fucked.

"Oh, relax, Kin-chan," Naruto chuckled as he watched the panic welling up in the girl's eyes, as he reached out and lightly brushed his fingers against her hair, "You don't have anything to worry about... Well, at least not along the lines of something the snake bastard would do. Now, time for you to get some sleep, night!"

With that, the boy snapped his fingers, and suddenly the tag on her chest sprang to life, suddenly filling her with an explosive wave of pleasure that completely wiped its way through her mind. As she slowly blacked out, she could hear the boy's final chuckle, "Damn, I love orgasm tags...."

-Later-

As she slowly regained consciousness, Kin released a slow, breathy sigh as her still pleasure fogged mind luxuriated in her most recent memories, "Oh... wow...."

"If you thought that was something," a somewhat familiar voice drawled, "You should see when he can do when he gets serious."

Pushing the fog of pleasure away, Kin tensed her body and forced her eyes into focus. She was in a cave of some kind, lain on a somewhat comfortable bit of padding. Sitting next to her, was the blonde girl, Ino as she recalled. Frowning just a bit to herself, noticed how her body was lain out, her arms and legs spread wide and vulnerable. With a growing alarm, she made note of how she had been almost completely stripped down.

"Nice panties by the way," Ino grinned as she casually trailed a finger up the girl's stomach, "We would've loved to have seen Orochimaru's face if he ever found out one of his ninja was wearing toad print undies."

Kin immediately blushed brightly at the girl, shifting even more uncomfortably against the sensations of the caress, "What're you going to do with me?"

"Well, Kin-chan," a familiar male voice spoke up as she shifted her gaze to catch sight of the blonde boy leaning against the cave wall, "You're going to be telling us everything you know. About Orochimaru, Sound, what's going on, your orders... etc etc etc. Then, we're going to be talking about your future."

"And what makes you think I'll tell you anything?!" the dark haired girl responded with a flare of defiance.

"Oh, little Kin-chan," Naruto slowly strode over to her, that wicked grin, holding such delightful promise as he loomed over her, "That's our specialty. Capture. Interrogation. Conversion. You belong to us now."

"You can't do this!" Kin spoke up, only a quiver of fear trickling through her defiance, "This is the middle of the damned Chunin exams!"

"Oh, forgotten already, Kin-chan?" Ino spoke up as she smiled hungrily at the girl, "No rules."

"Indeed... And your team thinks you're dead," Hinata spoke up as she appeared behind Naruto, "We have all the time in the world little Kin-chan."

"All the time in the world."

End Note:

As I said... I blame Matdeception for this.