Chapter 15
Author's Notes: I'm still blaming Matdeception.
No, I'm not going to write out what they did to convert Kin. Most of it was simple, sheer kindness, coupled with the fact that she knows she's dead if she doesn't have someone looking after her.
For those of you still clamoring about sex, lemons, pedophilia and all sorts of other things... This is a comedy. I write it because honestly I find it amusing. I throw in tenderness, and I throw in intimacy, only to round out the whole of the fic. But, in the end, this is about making people laugh. Not about being serious about bondage or relationships between 13 year olds.
Though, to be honest, I find the thoughts of thirteen year olds engaging in sexual situations less disturbing than the thought of kids the same age being trained and becoming killers/weapons/tools of destruction like they are in the actual Naruto Manga.
Fic begins
Kin slowly came to with a shuddering gasp of sensation, feeling the wonderful, familiar stroke running down her back, as she could hear the voice above her ear. "My... you have such long, lovely hair, Kin-chan... Though, not very practical for a Kunoichi."
"Hinata-sama..." Kin whimpered softly, her eyes fluttering closed again for a moment, before flickering open again, blushing brightly. "I... "
"Now little Kin-chan, are you going to be... a good girl?" Hinata asked casually, a slight tremor of amusement in her voice as she lightly stroked the girl's hair.
"Yes, Hinata-sama," the girl responded quickly, nodding eagerly.
"Well, she certainly seems much better behaved than she was before." Naruto's voice sounded with a soft chuckle as he slipped into view, eying both girls casually.
"Naruto-sama," Kin breathed softly, blushing again as she looked away for a moment, until she felt the calloused touch of his fingers, drawing her eyes back over to his as he lightly brushed his thumb against her cheek.
"Well, Kin-chan." Naruto smiled at her, as he gently drew his fingers back. "Shall we give you back to Hidden Sound and your team?"
The girl immediately whimpered, shaking her head vehemently "NO! Don't wanna go back there!"
Fingers were slowly soothingly caressing just beneath her jaw, stroking down to the leather collar, decorated with a metal plate, inscribed with the leaf symbol there. "And why not hmmm?"
"Do you know what they'll do to me?!" The girl shivered, visible, her dark eyes wide, fearful as she pressed unconsciously into his hand. "Fuck, you keep treating me like you do, and I'll stay with you forever Naruto-sama."
"She's still got some spirit still I see." Ino spoke up, teasingly as came into view.
"S-sorry, Ino-sama!" Kin responded quickly, lowering her eyes.
"Don't be." Ino corrected, grinning as she slipped up against Naruto, and carefully stroked the girl's neck. "We don't want you some broken, scraping little toy..." She paused, her lips quirking into a grin. "A playful, spirited pet, yes... dull, lifeless little toy? Nope."
"Indeed." Hinata spoke up and smiled at the girl. "Now, we're going to need you to stay here, Kin-chan, while we go and finish up the third part of the exam."
"But..." the girl's eyes widened fearfully, as she looked around. "I'll be alone out here..."
"No, you won't." Naruto shook his head, and smiled as he summoned a single shadow clone, who quickly became two. "These two will keep you company, and then bring you to us when its safe, all right Kin-chan?"
"A-all right." the girl nodded quickly as she looked over at the two clones, who grinned at her in turn.
"Good girl." with a smile, Naruto kissed her atop her head. "Don't worry, we shouldn't take too long."
"Besides," one of the clones spoke up with a waggle of his brow, "You get to spend the time with two of us, all to yourself! The girls have to share the original."
Kin giggled softly at that, before nodding, leaning back as she curled her knees back up against her chest. "You... sure they won't come after me?"
"They think you're dead, sweetie." Hinata spoke soothingly, as she stroked the girl's hair.
"Now, we really need to get going." Naruto spoke up as he nudged the girls. "We'll be back for you soon, Kin-chan."
"All right." Kin nodded slowly as she watched the others slip out of the cave before turning her attention to the two Naruto clones watching her. "So, um..."
"Don't worry, Kin-chan." One of them spoke up, his eyes glittering with mirth. "We'll take good care of you."
-The Tower-
"Ah, I was wondering when you three were going to show up!" Iruka was chuckling as he appeared in a cloud of smoke, looking them over carefully. "Cutting it to the last minute aren't we?"
"We took advantage of the rules," Naruto said simply, his eyes glittering wickedly as he continued. "And the girls wanted some privacy."
"Amongst other things," Ino agreed with a positively lecherous leer.
"Yeah, amongst other things," Naruto responded with a nod and a smile before looking at Iruka. "I need to speak with the Hokage, as soon as possible."
"Would this have anything to do with the Sound Team you eliminated?" the scarred chunin asked curiously, a brow arching up. "Their jounin instructor was rather... upset."
"I bet, damned snake bastard." Naruto responded as he made a face before looking around. "Did the others make it?"
"Heh, the other villages are going to be quite upset." Iruka's eyes were twinkling as he looked over the boy. "Rain especially after the way some of their genin were found. Other than one Suna team, only Konoha nin made it through."
"Gaara's?" Naruto offered quietly, his eyes unreadable.
"Yup." Iruka nodded as he lead the genin team into the main hall. "Apparently their jounin sensei gave some information to the Hokage. Not sure what, but it seems to be big."
"If it's what I think it is, it is." Naruto's eyes got a distant look in them before he smiled slightly. "I hope that means he did what I think he did."
"That bad?" Iruka asked quietly.
"It involved Anko-chan's ex-sensei." The boy's voice was simple and direct as he spoke, his eyes slightly distant before he shrugged. "That kinda explains it all, don't you think?"
As Iruka nodded, Ino and Hinata walked behind them, more than slightly subdued as they looked at one another. There had been some surprising revelations in the last few days thanks to Kin. The torn feeling only grew when they caught sight of Temari sitting nervously next to her brothers.
"Did Sasuke make it through the exams all right?" Naruto asked quietly, lifting his eyes up to the Chunin next to him, watching the slight stiffening that rippled through the man. "I'll take that as a no then."
"Heaven Seal." Those two words were all the man would say, his eyes hardening as he lead the boy towards his peers.
"Snake-Bastard was here then?" Naruto twitched slightly before shaking his head as he continued. "You see, this is what's wrong with overly powerful, megalomaniac ninja these days. They just think they can drop in whenever they feel like it. They don't give you any warning at all! I swear, how are we supposed to give him a proper greeting if he's here and gone again before we even know?"
"Heh," Iruka chuckled his words as he responded to the boy, "Don't worry, I'm sure Anko-can will be happy to help you plan out an appropriate reception."
"You do mean we'll ALL be helping her plan out a proper reception, yes?" Naruto countered, looking at the man meaningfully. "You, me, Kurenai-sensei, the girls... All for one and all."
"Yeah." Iruka simply nodded in return, his eyes growing slightly distant as he caught sight of the team's instructors. "We're all in this together."
"I've got some people to talk to," Naruto said suddenly as he looked up meaningfully at the chunin. "Could you take Hinata-chan and Ino-chan over to your girls?"
"All right, Naruto, just be careful." Iruka nodded back to the boy before he led the subdued girls off.
Quietly nodding, Naruto gave a slight nod of his head towards Gaara, before he slipped over to where Sasuke sat with dark, angry eyes staring almost vacantly in front of him. "Hey, Spanky. How's it going?"
Sasuke snarled back up at the blonde boy, before slowly, forcefully restraining himself, taking slow, deep breaths as he clenched his fingers back against his palms. "I think... That's rather obvious right now, Naruto."
"Heard you had a run in with the Snake Bastard," the blonde said neutrally as he took a seat next to his fellow nin.
"Yeah." Sasuke responded as he took a slow, deep breath, then released it. "It burns..."
"I hear they have a cream for that." Naruto responded with a smirk. "Though, I think you'll have to get Haku to apply it, I just don't think of you that way."
The Uchiha stared at Naruto for a moment, before barking off a short, bitter laugh. "Yeah, kinda funny, all he was tempting me with was more power. Not a single offer of my own private Naruto toy."
"Sounds like his sales pitch needs work," Naruto agreed with a grin. "I mean, really, I should be insulted, all that time you spent drooling over me, and he never gets a single report about it? It's like they actually believed you only 'accidentally' touched me."
"It was a complete and utter accident." Sasuke's face was completely serious as he looked back at Naruto. "I was trying to get a look, the feel was only a nice bonus."
"Ugh, just don't tell Ino that," the blonde boy warned with a groan. "She'll get upset you beat her to it."
"Yeah, yeah." Sasuke waved his hand dismissively for a moment before smiling slightly at his friend. "I'll be all right. I just... He knew where to hit me."
"From what I understand," Naruto began, his voice casually neutral, "He has quite a bit of experience with knowing about more than just hitting on boys."
"Gee, you think?" the dark haired boy's voice was dripping with sarcasm as he unconsciously reached up, rubbing at the seal on his neck. "I didn't have a clue, what with the wandering hands, wandering tongue, and wandering mouth."
"Aww, did the bad, bad snake make touch you in bad places, Spanky?" Naruto said teasingly.
"No," Sasuke corrected with a slight whine to his voice. "He touched me in some very GOOD places before Haku-chan could. I'm going to have to spend extra time to make up for it and feel clean again."
"Poor baby." Naruto chuckled softly. "Next time, throw him a bone head like Kiba and run."
"Meh, that's a big no-no on our team." Sasuke grumbled slightly as he responded. "Those that break the rules are trash, those that abandon their comrades are even worse, etc etc etc."
"It's good advice," Naruto admitted, before grinning softly. "But, does it have to apply to an idiotic horn dog like Kiba?"
"Hey! I can hear you, ya know!" Kiba spoke up from nearby glaring at Naruto.
"Oh, shut up, Panty-Sniffer," Naruto shot back. "You're already Doomed, so stop trying to dig yourself in deeper."
"Panty-Sniffer?" Sasuke asked with a lazy arch of his brow.
"Alas, it would seem Kankuro over there..." Naruto gestured towards the Suna nin.
"... no respect I tell you..." could be heard vaguely slipping past his lips.
"Isn't the most worrisome deviant amongst us." The blonde boy finished his sentence with a slightly chiding tsk as he looked over at Kiba. "It has recently come to light, that a CERTAIN member of a certain team, both of which, I cannot name without sullying the honor of good decent nin..."
"What about in the case of those of us who have already been perverted into deviance thanks to exposure to you?" Sasuke cut off with a light drawl sweeping past his lips.
"Well, in your case, I'd have to start hiding my boxers," Naruto shot back with a slight grin before he continued. "And, alas, the most disturbing of the deviants here, again, amazingly enough NOT Kankuro..."
"... no respect..."
"Is a nin that gets his kicks stealing the unmentionables of our fair, female nin for the express purpose of... well..." Naruto shrugged helplessly as all eyes immediately locked onto a suddenly flushing Kiba. "Were it not for the selfless efforts of his sister to bring these facts to light, none of us would know the true depths of his depravity."
"Not to mention, he'd have been safe from your wrath," Sasuke pointed out with a soft chuckle.
"Ah, but my dear Spanky," Naruto corrected with a smile on his lips, "It is not my wrath which he should fear. But, the wrath of the teammate of mine from which he purloined the object of his depravity."
"Uh... huh?" Chouji blinked slightly as he looked oddly at Naruto, his eyes dulled and uncertain.
"Judging by the glare levelled at him," Shino observed neutrally, "It would seem that Kiba stole Hinata's panties."
"A brilliant deduction, Shino!" Naruto agreed his eyes dancing for a moment. "If only Holmes had you for his Watson."
"I apologize for my friend," Sasuke said with a soft chuckle. "He's always more than a little bit of a handful when he's attempting to cheer someone up."
"I do not attempt such things, my dear Spanky," Naruto responded with a bland deadpan. " I succeed."
"So it would seem," the Uchiha agreed as he would offer Naruto back a gentle smile and a nod of his head. "Thanks."
"Not a problem." The blonde boy flashed his friend a grin before lazily making his way over to stand next to Gaara.
Inclining his head slightly, the red haired nin spoke up in his typical, neutral dead pan. "Naruto."
"Gaara." The words were light and succinct as he would look for a moment from the Sand Nin to the girl sprawled comfortably in his lap. "I think we need to talk."
Gaara paused as he studied the blonde nin in front of him for a moment, before giving a slow, careful nod of his head. "Yes. I think we do. Sakura-chan, would you excuse us a moment?"
"Mrrr..." The pink haired nin slowly stretched out, almost like a contented cat before leveling a look from Naruto to Gaara, "All right, but I expect my seat back, Naruto!"
"Mhm, whatever you say, Haruno," Naruto responded glibly as he watched the pink hair girl slip off Gaara's lap, before the two demon containers walked to a more isolated part of the arena, Naruto's eyes never quite leaving the momentarily curious Kabuto, who quickly diverted his attention back to Sasuke.
"So, what is it you wish to talk about?" Gaara asked, his voice still carefully neutral even as his sand shifted restlessly in the gourd on his back.
"A little of this, a little of that..." Naruto responded easily enough. "Things like Sand betraying us for Orochimaru, the Leader of Hidden Sound."
"I did admit there was something I wanted to tell you." The Suna ninja stated calmly as he would lightly bring his arms up across his chest. "I simply was searching for an appropriate manner in which to... Broach the subject."
"Yes, I can see where telling someone you were sent here as a part of the precursor to an invasion meant to destroy their home would be a bit of a sticky subject to breach," Naruto agreed with a sage nod of his head before lightly tapping his lower lip. "So, just an idle question, how attached are you to Suna."
"I would speculate," Gaara began, before flicking his eyes back towards the rest of the ninja, "And it would of course only be speculation."
"Naturally," the blonde boy agreed with sage nod of his head. "Nothing wrong with a bit of speculation. Never hurt anyone."
"Indeed. Speculation in this case, would lead towards the thought that I would not be entirely... adverse to shifting my allegiance." The red head paused, his eyes flickering longingly over Sakura before turning his attention back to Naruto. "But, that is of course, purely speculation."
"Naturally." Naruto casually flicked his eyes over towards where Sakura was waiting, where she was giving Gaara an expectant gaze. "And, along that lines of pure speculation. There's this certain Suna nin I know, has a thing for a Konoha nin I know. The problem is, he's stuck in a bit of a bad situation. Part of the planning to invade her home. If I was able to, hypothetically, gain him entry into Konoha's ranks, think he'd be interested?"
"Hypothetically, I'd say he would." Gaara noted casually as he would actually offer a slight smile and a slight blush to Sakura.
"Good." The blonde boy smiled softly before he would cough quietly. "I do have some bad news. It would seem that that hypothetical Suna nin's sister has happened to upset two Konoha nin, by not even seeming to be conflicted at all about the coming unpleasantness."
"I take it that said sister would likely to find herself rather suddenly and unexpectantly lacking in the attentions she was previously enjoying?" Gaara responded with a careful neutrality to his voice.
"And of course, if said hypothetical Suna nin happened to tell her, and she then decided to inform her superiors that their plot had been discovered..." Naruto let his words taper off, before giving Gaara a meaningful look.
"Yes, that could be a problem," Gaara admitted with a sigh. "Troublesome girl."
"Been spending time with Shikamaru?" Naruto chuckled out his question as he canted his head slightly to the side.
"He is a part of Sakura's team." The red head pointed out. "And, he is a far more interesting conversationalist than my deviant of a brother."
"... no respect..." The words could be heard grumbled in the distance.
"I'm surprised you kept him awake more than anything." Naruto was chuckling softly before he looked over at Gaara, his eyes and tone suddenly serious. "So, I need to know... Where do you stand, Gaara of the Desert?"
"I have been raised as a tool, as a weapon," Gaara responded slowly, quietly. "I have known only hatred and death for almost as long as I can remember. I have always been alone." He paused a moment, letting his words hang in the air for a long, drawn out moment before he continued. "But, that was only because that was all I was allowed to know. Here... Here I think I could be something else, something better. Something no longer alone."
"I'll talk to the old man." Blue eyes sparkled as he reached up, lightly laying his hand on Gaara's shoulder, and offering him a smile. "It'd be great to have you."
"I think, it would be good to be had." Gaara responded with a slight ghost of a smile before the two of them walked back towards the rest of the group.
Once he'd returned Sakura's seat to her, Naruto plastered a happy grin on his face and practically bounced over to the oldest of the genin teams, almost shouting out. "Hey, Kabuto right? The guy that got smacked around by those dumb ass Sound Nins?"
"Ah, yes...?" The silver haired teen blinked in surprise behind his glasses, as he slowly glanced around. "Though, they might show up at any moment, so you really..."
"Nah," Naruto shook his head, grinning happily as he slipped up next to the older boy, slapping him on the back as he offered up a stage whisper, "Didn't you hear? They got eliminated the first day of the test!"
Kabuto almost fell back in shocked surprise as he blinked a moment, before quickly plastering a grin on his face, "Oh? All I heard about was the Rain team the proctors found all tied up..."
"And gagged with their underwear," the blonde agreed with a happy smile on his face. "Yeah, they made some disparaging remarks about us. I mean really, what kind of idiot goes and insults the team that just caught you with your pants down and captured you all in a matter of seconds, right?"
A worried look briefly flashed across the silver haired boy's features before he grinned again back at Naruto, "Yeah, that is kind of a stupid thing to do... So, did you hear exactly what happened to the Sound Team?"
"Ayup!" Naruto nodded happily, before putting on a suddenly regretful face. "It was such a shame. She was rather a rather pretty girl."
"Was...?" Kabuto prompted carefully.
"Yes, well it is hard to remain pretty when you've been blown into little, itty bitty pieces." Naruto nodded sagely as he spoke, his eyes a touch sad as he spoke. "Strings of explosive takes wrapped around her body."
He paused a moment then, before grinning happily. "Still, she went out with one helluva bang!"
Kabuto blinked slightly for a moment, as if stunned by the boy's words before he very carefully responded. "Someone... Blew her up?"
"What did you expect to happen?" Naruto was smiling cheerfully as he winked at Kabuto. "They attacked a Konoha nin and thought they'd get away with it! Ha! The only ones who would be worse off, would be traitors or spies... I mean, they might not have the death by red neck treefolk sodomization in the town square anymore, but still, I'm sure we can get pretty creative."
"Ah, yes, indeed." There was a slight greenish tint to the genin's face, before he shook his head slightly. "I'll have to thank whoever did that."
"Ha! I'm sure!" Again Naruto grabbed the older boy, slapping him on the back once more before ruffling the top of his head. "Anyway, good luck with the rest of the exam!"
"Thank you." The boy responded solemnly with a grin as the blonde released him then walked over to the chunin, Iruka and suddenly jumped on the man's back with a carefree laugh.
What Kabuto couldn't see, or hear, was the whispered words that Naruto gave in between laughs. "I need to talk to the Hokage, immediately."
Grinning back at his former student, Iruka rolled his eyes for everyone to see as he laughed out. "You're a ninja of Konoha Naruto, when're you going to grow up and stop demanding piggy back rides?"
"Never!" the boy practically shouted. "Now, onwards!"
As Iruka vanished with a laugh, Kankuro stared at the retreating forms before staring at the collection of Leaf nin all around him. "You know, you guys are nuts, right?"
"Yes." Shino's voice agreed solemnly in its dead pan neutrality. "However, as it's been noted. The crazier a Konoha ninja, the more dangerous they are. And Naruto, is Konoha's most unpredictable ninja atop his... eccentricities."
"Naruto-sama... is unique." Neji offered, a shudder rippling through his body as he did so. "A fact for which I often give heartfelt thanks to the gods."
Tenten grinned wickedly at her teammate before winking over at Sasuke, "Oooh, does someone need to be taught respect again?"
Instantly Neji let off a dejected whimper, akin to a kicked puppy as Sasuke gave a startlingly full blush, "Neji is a good boy! Neji understands respect! Neji will be a good boy!"
"You know, if you guys keep this up, he's going to be completely worthless as a ninja, right?" Ino observed dryly as she fought down the smirk on her lips. "The guy's already in need of years and years of therapy."
"Hmph, serves him right!" Hinata spoke up primly, glaring at her cousin for a moment, watching as he immediately shrank back from her gaze.
"Man, Neji, you are so screwed," Kiba noted with a snicker as he watched the cringing boy.
"..." The rest of the group all turned their attention onto the Inuzuka, looks of disbelief in their eyes.
"What?" The boy blinked slightly as Akamaru whined softy in his jacket before jumping away and staring at the boy.
"Kiba," Shino began neutrally, "You apparently seem to have forgotten that YOU are currently the one Hinata is upset with."
"And therefore," Sasuke picked up with a slow smirk on his face. "YOU get to be the one she goes after next. Though, I will have to abstain from anything along the same veins as what I did to Neji... I'm taken now, and to be honest... You're just too damned ugly Kiba."
"What happened to Not abandoning your teammates?!" Kiba whined softly before his eyes flicked over towards Hinata, a wary fear in his eyes as the pale eyed girl smiled with a sweet viciousness back at him.
"In this case," a new voice spoke up, as Kakashi suddenly appeared next to the group, little orange book in hand, "I think it's more, you brought this on yourself, you deal with the consequences."
"Getting marginally smarter, huh, Kakashi?" Ino spoke up with a smirk. "Waiting until Naruto-kun is out of sight?"
"Well, he IS still in plain sight where Naruto can see him as soon as he shows back up," Asuma pointed out as he appeared near by, his lit cigarette dangling from his lips as he smirked slightly. "So, its apparently not by much."
"Yosh! You are setting a most unyouthful example for our students, my Eternal Rival!" Gai declared as he lunged into place.
"Gai-sensei!" Lee exclaimed, before frowning slightly as he looked over to a stern faced Tenten, "I am most regretful, that I will not be fully participating in our usual training sessions!"
"What?! Lee, my beloved student, what about your youthful dream!?" Tears began to form in Gai's eyes as he stared at his student in shocked disbelief.
"I have not forsaken my youthful dream Gai-sensei!" Lee immediately clenched his fist, fire burning in his eyes. "I instead wish to share my flames of youth, with.." He paused a moment, suddenly blushing brightly as he looked away. "With a pretty girl, Gai-sensei!"
"And, Naruto would be upset with me if I had to kill him for continuing to hit on my girlfriend." Gaara's casual monotone drifted into the air as he held Sakura against his lap. "So, I would rather prefer to keep things civil, and for him to find his own girl."
"Tenten, surely..." Gai began as he rounded about his female student only to be suddenly confronted with a plethora of kunai and shuriken.
"Not for all the shiny pointies in the world!" the girl declared firmly, her eyes burning challengingly towards her instructor.
"How about for a video tape of Spanky and Haku getting hot and heavy?" Hinata offered up, smiling innocently at Tenten.
The older girl stared back at Hinata in dawning horror as a sudden realization hit her. "Evil wench! I shall not fall into your foul temptations!"
For a moment, the rest of the group stared back at the girl, clearly impressed (though Lee slumped dejectedly), before she continued. "I shall not defile the purity of the yaoi for such a cost!"
"Kakashi... My Eternal Rival... Where did I go wrong?" Gai was sobbing now, the tears streaming down his face as he turned to the masked ninja. "Why have my students begun to forsake their youthful path?!"
"My guess?" Kakashi drawled out, his eye lazily meeting Gai's gaze. "Hormones."
"...What...?" Gai blinked a moment, uncertain of how to respond to that as he stared back at the Copy Cat ninja.
"Hormones, you know those things teenagers get and never quite lose?" Anko's voice spoke up as she popped into view next to Kurenai and Baki.
All three of them dressed identically to Kakashi, with their noses buried into their copies of their books.
"Gah, they're multiplying in the dark!" Ino whimpered with a slight shudder. "At least the new ones have good taste in Literature..."
"Mm? Did you say something, Ino-chan?" Hinata spoke up, suddenly standing next to the three, dressed up just as they were, her own nose buried in another copy of the series, a sweet little giggle escaping her lips.
"Aaaaah! You fiends! How could you do that to sweet, innocent, delectable... Ahem, I mean, Hinata-chan!" Ino pointed an accusatory finger in Kakashi's direction. "This is all YOUR fault! You leave me no choice but to do this!"
"Um, do what?" Kakashi asked, his eye flickering over at the girl, with a slightly nervous gleam, she was Naruto's teammate after all.
"Join them of course!" Ino cackled back before she was suddenly transformed just as the others were, their noses all buried in their books.
Kakashi stared for a long moment at the five figures dressed as he was, before hanging his head in resignation. "Well, if you can't beat them..." And with that, his orange book vanished, replaced by an equally familiar book held in each of his look-a-likes' hands.
"My Eternal rival, how could you!?" Gai was aghast as he looked at pointed his finger directly towards Kakashi. "To spread such an... an..."
"Unyouthful display?" Lee offered helpfully before feeling the dig of Tenten's elbow in his side.
"Thank you, my beloved student!" Gai's smile shone as he thrust his thumb up in the boy's direction before his finger again pointed towards Kakashi, "Most unyouthful display!"
"Hmm? Did you say something?" Six voices called out in eerie unison .
Asuma merely watched and laughed as his eyes danced with humor.
-Else where in the Wiz- Errr Ninja Tower!-
"Ah, Naruto, aren't you supposed to be at the arena?" Hiruzen Sarutobi asked was slipping his hat atop his head.
"Yup, but I kinda figured I'd give you a report while throwing a slightly... overly focused spy for a loop," the blonde boy agreed with a grin and a nod towards Iruka. "Besides, how often do I get to trick Iruka into giving me a piggy back ride anymore?"
"Brat," the chunin said playfully.
"Yeah yeah." Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "So, just wanted to let you know that Sand and Sound..."
"... Are planning an invasion, Sound is run by Orochimaru, and Kabuto Yakushi is a spy?" the Hokage asked with an innocent smile on his face.
Naruto stared at the old man for a moment, before he immediately crossed his arms about his chest and pouted visibly. "That's not fair! Though, I didn't know what Kabuto's last name was."
"Yes well, apparently Baki, the jounin instructor for one of the Suna teams..."
"Gaara's team?" Naruto perked up, eyes shining eagerly.
"Yes, I do believe so." The Hokage smiled easily down at the boy as he lightly patted him atop his head. "He was most impressed with your fine work and dedication..."
"He's a fan of 'Sweet Silky Nights,'" Iruka inserted with a cough and a grin.
"I'll make a note to get him autographed copies." Naruto nodded sagely at this as he began to rub his hands together with a hopeful glint in his eyes.
"As I was saying," the elderly man continued, offering a mild glare in Iruka's direction, "He was most impressed with your fine work and dedication, to such a point that he bargained amnesty for himself and his team."
"Gaara's gonna be a Leaf Nin?" Naruto asked, his expression unreadable for a moment as he studied the old man in front of him.
"If he agrees to abide by our laws and rules, yes." Sarutobi blinked slightly as he watched the boy before him carefully. "Is there something-"
Whatever else the Hokage might've said was cut off as a mass of Narutos suddenly burst into view and immediately began to dance a jig in perfect unison all around the man. A bemused look on his face, the old man coughed slightly before he looked over the Narutos. "Finished?"
The clones all paused a moment, looking at each other carefully, before they each suddenly struck a thinking pose. Suddenly, there was a blur of motion and the entire room had been redecorated, the furniture pushed to the side. And in and instant, the Naruto swarm had both the chunin and the Hokage himself dancing with them.
-The Rest of the group, a few minutes later-
A cheerfully whistling Naruto strolled back into the room, quickly throwing a grin and a nod towards Gaara, who reflexively tightened his grip on Sakura as a ghost of a smile grew on his lips. Slipping over to his teammates, his wrapped his arms around their shoulders and grinned softly. Before he could say anything however, he blinked slightly as he caught sight of the blook in Kakashi's hand.
"Oi, Copy Cat! When did you develop good tast in literature?" Naruto smirked slightly as he looked at the masked nin.
"Mm? Did you say something?" Six voices answered him in unison, as six lazy eyes turned onto him.
Naruto blinked a moment, then blinked again, before looking over towards Gai, then looking back at the group, "Are you guys trying to tell me something?"
As most of the remaining group chuckled softly, Asuma smiled as he looked down at Naruto, "Heard you've been giving everybody a hard time, kiddo."
"Mmm maaaaaybe," Naruto drawled out without committing to an answer. "Should I tell them it's all your fault?"
"Well, I did already tell all the instructors..." Asuma shrugged slightly as he grinned back at the boy. "There are a FEW perks to being the Hokage's son."
"I wonder if ANBU knows yet," Naruto speculated aloud.
"Mmm, again, handy to be the son of the Hokage." Asuma grinned back as he took a lazy puff of his cigarette.
"Oh, is it now, Asuma?" The dry voice of the Hokage spoke up as he chuckled lightly. "Then I suppose you won't mind me announcing how you've agreed to help our Academy students test their skills, under the mentoring of any Konoha ninja interested in devoting their time to helping inspire the future generations of shinobi."
Asuma blinked a moment, staring back at his father before the full implications of what he'd said sunk in. "Dirty Pool, old man, dirty pool."
"There are a FEW perks to being the Hokage." The old man responded with an innocent smile on his lips before his face grew sterner as he addressed the assembled genin. "You have all done remarkably well. Never before have we had such a large number of promising young genin. Unfortunately, there are still too many of you to to advance to the final round. So, we'll be having preliminary elimination matches. If anyone of you feels you're not able to compete, please let us know now."
As Kabuto and one of his teammates raised their hands, a third started to rise from Shikamaru, before the lazy boy caught a glare from both Ino and Sakura. Sitting back down, he sulked in his seat. When the Hokage saw that no one else was going to volunteer, he nodded solemnly and continued, "Very well, look at the selection board to see your matches"
-Gaara of the Desert Vs. Yoroi Akado-
Kabuto blinked in surprise at seeing the match up, before shrugging slightly. Turning to his remaining teammate he smirked at the teen's rapidly paling reaction. "Well, it would seem it was fortunate we withdrew, wouldn't you say?"
As the teen nodded quickly, neither noticed the questioning gaze Naruto sent towards the Hokage. Cold, hard eyes sent the message back to Naruto as the man gave a simple, curt nod. Pursing his lips lightly, Naruto gave an almost imperceivable nod of his own before he slipped over to where Gaara was moving towards the arena floor.
Putting his hand on the boy's shoulder, his words were heard only by the red-head. "No need to hold back... just don't lose youself, ok?"
Gaara blinked slightly before giving Naruto a questioning look. "He is a Leaf Nin."
"No." Naruto corrected softly with a shake of his head. "He's not."
"Ah." Gaara nodded back as he watched the cold anger flashed in the boy's eyes, understanding blossoming in his own. "Then he has made his choice."
"Yup."
"Then so have I." And with that, Gaara disappeared in a swirl of sand, before appearing in the middle of the arena floor.
Whistling tunelessly Naruto casually strode back to his girls, slipping up behind them as he gave them each a soft, firm hug about their waists. Gently, he drew them together, their bodies pressed to his chest as he rested his chin down against where their shoulders met. For a moment, silence reigned as he watched Yoroi drop down to the arena, his masked face unreadable as he beheld the stoic boy in front of him.
"Well, time to see who Gaara really is." Naruto's voice was soft as his brilliant blue eyes watched with a tinge of worry as he beheld his fellow demon container.
"What'd you do, Naruto-kun?" Ino asked softly, picking up on the undertones in the boy's voice.
"Gave him carte blanche to deal with a traitor." Naruto's voice was soft, grim as he spoke, while his arms tightened lightly on the girls next to him. "The guy's life is already forfeit. I just need to see what he chooses to do when he's given the opportunity to do something, without repercussions."
"Oh, Naruto-kun..." Hinata shifted around, her arms clinging to him softly as she gave him a soft hug in turn.
"You may forfeit if you wish." Gaara's cold monotone echoed through the air as his seemingly dead eyes locked onto his opponents. "I would suggest you take it. Otherwise things will be... unpleasant for you."
"I may surprise you." the older teen shot back, his black eyes unreadable as he took a stance.
"You've made your choice then." Gaara responded simply as he looked to the sickly proctor. "Whenever you're ready."
"Begin!"
Immediately Yoroi launched a group of shuriken at the unflinching and unmoving Gaara, who merely stood there, unblinking as a tendril of sand rose up and batted the projectiles away. In a cold, almost bored voice, the boy spoke again as sand continued to stream out of his gourd. "I'm waiting to be surprised."
"Don't worry...." The teen started to respond, his voice dripping with an audible sneer they couldn't see before Gaara's monotone interrupted him.
"Your time is up." And with that Gaara lifted his hand, as suddenly a stream of sand behind Yoroi grabbed the teen by the back of his briefs, before being jerked up as Gaara snapped his hand up. "Desert Wedgie."
For a moment, no one said a thing, merely staring incredulously at the display as Yoroi rocketed up high into the air by the back of his underwear. Just as suddenly, before the teen could react, he was dumped once more, falling face first into the ground. Silence, reigned in the air, before finally Naruto spoke up. "Well, he DID warn him."
The first snicker rose an instant after that, before chuckles slowly rolled across the room. Kabuto himself blinked slightly, before simply shrugging uncaringly. On the arena floor, the proctor coughed a moment before announcing, "Winner, Gaara."
"Well, that was a bit anti-climatic." Naruto dead panned, before smiling slightly. "Funny though."
"I thought so." Gaara spoke up as he appeared behind the three in a swirl of sand as he settled back down and pulled Sakura back into his lap.
"Yes, well, that was most illuminating." The Hokage coughed once more before gesturing. "On to the next match perhaps?"
-Rock Lee Vs. Kankuro of the Desert-
"YOSH! It is time to prove the power of my-..!" Lee began before Naruto cut him off.
"Generally, Lee, girls prefer experience over youth." The blonde boy noted casually as he smirked slightly. "Though, your first lesson... Girls hate disgusting perverts. They like guys that teach them their place."
"What does this have to do with my match, Naruto-san?" Lee asked, confusion written on his face.
"Kankuro is a disgusting pervert." Gaara supplied simply instead of Naruto. "My sister has been most distressed by some of his... preferences."
"... It's not bad enough I get no respect, now I gotta deal with you sicking bushy browed guys in spandex after me? Come on! He's gotta be an even bigger pervert that I am to wear that get up!" Kankuro whined softly as he glared at the rest of the group.
"This is my precious uniform, given to me by my beloved teacher!" Lee immediately declared, his eyes burning. "It shows how bright the fires inside of me burn!"
"Ok... So, you're not the pervert, your sensei is?" Kankuro noted, as he jumped down to the arena. "That would explain why your team's so screwed up."
"Huh, you know he does have a point." Kakashi noted before turning a lazy eye onto Gai. "Is there something we should know, Gai?"
"Kakashi, how could you even think that about me?!" Gai stared back at his fellow Jounin, his face quickly reddening.
"Well, we never see you with women..." Kurenai spoke up casually as she lightly tapped her lower lip.
"You're always going around, being obsessed with youth..." Anko cut in, with a sickenly sweet smile.
"You're quite flamboyant." Asuma noted casually as he took a drag from his cigarette. "Especially with your entrances..."
"He's very..." Iruka coughed pointedly as he would nod meaningfully towards Gai. "Physical with his affection."
Gai stared at the collected older ninja, his eyes trembling before he would burst into tears, rushing over to Lee and quickly quickly grabbing his hands. "I'm not a pervert! You believe me, don't you my precious student?!"
"I... I..." Lee looked into the pleading eyes of his sensei before suddenly looking away as he jumped to the railing. "I have a match to win, Gai-sensei!" And with that the boy jumped down onto the arena floor.
Gai slumped visibly as an almost visible cloud hung over his head, tears still falling down his face. Kakashi shook his head before walking over, patting Gai lightly on his back. "There there... The first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem. With hard work, and time, I'm sure you can stop being a worse pervert than I am."
At that, Gai fell to his knees, sobbing even harder as the rest of the collected ninja stared at him incredulously.
"What?" An innocent eye smile greeted the rest of the collected nin. "I'm at least open about how much of a pervert I am. All I do is walk around reading the stuff. Otherwise, I'm rather normal. Well, deviancy wise."
"So, we gonna get on with this?" Kankuro almost yawned as he unstrapped his bundle from his back, before settling it down.
"I... I shall defeat you!" Lee declared, trying to summon the usual energy that surged through him as he assumed a combat position.
"Huh... Well, at least he didn't say he was gonna beat me," Kankuro noted as he stuck his pinky into his ear and wiggled it slightly. "Considering what we seem to know about his teacher, I'd be worried about what he meant."
Lee faltered again, his eyes widening as he slipped out of his stance for a moment, before struggling to regain his composure. "That was... most unyouthful!"
"Huh, you sure you only dress that way JUST because of your teacher?" the suna nin arched a brow slightly as he shifted lazily, looking off to the side. "I mean... you already heard what they were saying about it... And here you are, bringing it up all over again."
"Huh." Naruto blinked slightly as he watched the pre-match conversation. "Maybe your brother isn't as dumb as I thought he was."
"He does seem to be waging an effective assault," Gaara agreed with a nod of his head.
"The match hasn't started yet, what're you guys talking about?" Kiba butted in, staring at the two conversing demon containers.
"Tsk, you really are troublesome aren't you?" Shikamaru complained with a slight sigh as he slumped forward. "If you can't figure it out, not worth telling you."
"Ready?" The proctor asked, lazily eying the two individuals before shrugging and starting the match. "Begin!"
Immediately Kankuro tossed his package directly at Lee. The bandage wrapped item, began a small tornado as the white ribbons came loose, fluttering around as Lee quickly dodged out of the way. Pulling himself once more into a combat stance he would speak again.
"Yosh! I will not be caught off guard so easily!" Lee declared, his eyes starting to regain a bit of their spark.
"Oh, you don't want me to catch you, big boy?" A sultry, feminine voice murmured almost directly behind Lee, before the thick browed boy whirled around, to find himself faced with alabaster skinned beauty in a black and red kimono, her eyes fluttering softly as her soft lips glistened in the arena's light.
"That little bastard!" Temari growled as she clutched at her fan, glaring down at the arena floor. "That's my kimono, and I bet he used MY make up!"
"S-stay back!" Lee suddenly jumped back wards, his eyes wide as he made a warding gesture towards the feminine figure.
"Oh? Don't you want me to get closer?" The figure almost purred her words as Kankuro grinned evilly while he watched, behind Lee's back, as he had his puppet begin to slowly loosen her kimono. "Find out... just what I've got to offer hmm?"
As a creamy shoulder came into view, followed by another, Lee blushed brightly as he averted his eyes. "I-I shall not give into such base temptation! I will be strong, I will make my teacher proud!"
"Oh?" The sash belt hit the floor, as she let the front of her kimono pull apart, revealing even more of that alabaster flesh. "The big, perverted, deviant teacher, is that who you want to make proud?"
"Ye-... N-... I... I... quit trying to confuse me!" Lee shook his head, blushing brightly as he did so, struggling to track the figure's movements without looking directly at her.
"Baby, the thing I'm trying to do, isn't confuse you..." her words practically dripped out of her mouth, before she pulled the kimono away, letting it drop down to the ground as she posed casually in front of him.
"That little bastard!" Temari was practically foaming at the mouth as she stared down at the puppet. "He stole my lingere!!"
"Ok, what I said about your brother being smart?" Naruto observed casually as he looked at Gaara. "I take it back. He's a dead man."
"Indeed." Gaara nodded solemnly. "Should we tell him what he did wrong if he survives?"
"Let's see if he can figure it out on his own." Naruto grinned wickedly as he pulled the girls more tightly to his chest.
"HEY! Eyebrows!" Temari yelled down into the arena. "Beat the crap out of that pervert, and I'll go on a date with you!"
Instantly Lee perked up, his eyes shining as he looked at Temari, "Truly?!"
"If he wins, you don't get a thing though!" The girl slipped back, her arms crossed about her chest. "And the quicker you do it, the more likely I am to give you a kiss!"
"YOSH!" Lee's hands immediately went down to his ankles, grabbing hold of the weights he wore there and tossing them into the air.
When they crashed down against the earth, shaking the entire arena in the process, he was off, a blur of motion as he was suddenly in Kankuro's face, launching him into the air. Before the boy knew what hit him, Lee was launching himself up, and quickly smashed his fist into the puppeteer's gut before twisting his body around. With a second, mighty kick, he launched the puppeteer once more, sending him crashing through the air before impacting against the wall next to Temari and collapsing at her feet.
Everyone stared a moment, in complete silence, before Temari beamed down at Lee. "Now that's a good boy!"
"Winner Rock Lee." The proctor finally coughed again, shaking his head with a slight look of amusement as Lee began to dance happily to himself.
"Now, let this be a lesson to you, little brother," Temari whispered sweetly. "Don't ever mess with my things."
A moment later Lee was back up with the rest of the group, beaming happily as they looked at the board to see the next match.
-Neji Hyuga Vs. Shino Aburame-
Author's notes: Stay tuned for the eventually posted next episode.