Chapter: 17

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto

Author's notes: Bit by bit, getting back into the groove.

-o-o-o-

"Mah, ready to go, Kin-chan?" Naruto asked as he casually stepped into the cave, only to blink slightly at the spectacle in front of him.

Arching a brow, the boy could only shake his head in disbelief as he asked the first question that came to mind. "Where did you get all that chocolate and whipped cream?"

-o-o-o-

"Well brats, I have to say, we're impressed." Anko grinned happily at her three genin as, before her eyes flickered over to the kneeling, and blushing Kin next to Naruto's feet before admitting. "VERY impressed."

"Mah, it was nothing." Naruto responded with a shrug as he lightly ran his fingers through Kin's hair.

The former Sound kunoichi frowned, even as she pressed back into that touch. "Are you saying I'm easy, Naruto-sama?"

"Possibly." The boy admitted with a grin.

"Definitely." Ino agreed as she smiled teasingly at Kin.

"Absolutely." Hinata finished as she winked at the girl.

The girl sniffled slightly and grumbled as she continued to kneel there, leaning into Naruto's fingers. "What'd I do to deserve such treatment, huh?"

"You used to serve Orochimaru." Anko pointed out with a light frown as she fingered a kunai, causing the girl to shrink back reflexively from the woman.

"You were part of a team assigned to assassinate a member of our ninja forces." Kurenai continued, a brow arching up slightly as she studied the girl in front of her.

"You called Hinata-chan a bitch." Naruto pointed out with a grin.

"You got to play around with whipped cream and chocolate with Naruto-kun and I wasn't there to enjoy it!" Ino pouted.

"They were only clones!" Kin whined softly even as she shrank down against Naruto's leg. "You aren't going to get rid of me, are you, Naruto-sama?"

"Dammit!" Hinata growled softly before pouting as she crossed her arms about her chest. "It's like kicking a little puppy. She's just so cute and vulnerable!"

"A cute, vulnerable ninja assassin." Naruto pointed out as he lightly patted Kin atop her head. "Who would have happily killed us at the drop of a hat less than a week ago."

"But, I didn't know just what you could do with me if I was a good girl then, Naruto-sama." Kin quickly pointed out, before grinning brightly. "But, if you don't trust me, I recommend tying me up tightly and keeping me in your apartment under lock and key!"

"Lucky bitch." Ino and Hinata muttered in unison, lightly glaring at Kin as she barked cutely in response.

"Just remember you three." Anko lectured with a slight smirk. "She might qualify as your ninja tool now, but you can't use her in the tournament. Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise, now would we?"

"I know, I know." Naruto waved his hand lightly as he smirked a bit. "I've gotta keep her under lock and key…" He paused a moment, before grinning at his teammates. "You girls will let me know when you want to borrow her, won't you? Since we won't be seeing too much of each other for the next month…"

"Huh? Wha, why?!" Ino stared back at the blonde boy, whimpering softly. "Kitty needs her Cuddly lovin!"

"Um, we're all three in the final matches?" Naruto put for, staring at the adorable pout that Ino put on. "That means, training separately, so if/when we end up fighting against each other, we can impress one another with how far we've come?"

"Meh." Hinata grumbled softly as she looked at Ino. "That sucks. Puppy doesn't get her Cuddling, or her Kittying."

"Come on." Anko chuckled softly as she looped her arm around Hinata's shoulder. "We're taking you all to the hot springs."

"All?" Kin spoke up, looking hopefully at the woman.

"Fine, you can bring your little pet too." Anko rolled his eyes as she smirked just a bit. "Just make sure and keep her properly leashed at all times. Wouldn't want to break the law, now would we?"

Instantly Kin had her leash on, and held the handle in her eager mouth, her eyes shining eagerly.

"And do a Transformation." Kurenai added, looking the girl over. "Just to be sure. Something hmm…" She lightly tapped her lower lip in consideration. "What do you think girls?"

"Pink hair maybe?" Ino offered, before blushing at the look the rest of the group gave her. "What?!"

"I think someone has a bit of a crush they don't want to admit to." Hinata teased slightly before looking Kin over critically, before pursing her lips slightly and nodding. "Blue short hair, red eyes, pale skin. Now."

Blushing quietly, Kin none the less did as she was directed, her features shifting at the girl's command to take on the new shape. Nodding in satisfaction, Hinata pet the girl atop her head before turning to the rest of the group. "Well?"

"For some reason, Hinata-sama, I feel an odd urge to bring about the end of the world." Kin stated in an almost monotonous voice, before pausing a moment, looking thoughtfully at Naruto. "Though, I want Naruto-sama to bang my brains out more so."

"Okaaaaaaay...." Ino eyed the girl before glancing at a pouting Hinata. "Hinata-chan? Next time, Naruto-kun picks the look."

"But..." The girl pouted even more as she looked pleadingly at Naruto.

"That, and pilot gigantic creatures, born of the flesh of fallen angels and powered by the souls of the damned." Kin blinked slightly, as she looked carefully at Hinata. "I think Ino-sama has the right idea."

"Fine." Hinata pouted even more as she crossed her arms about her chest. "Let's just get to the hot springs already."

Naruto grinned at the girl as he walked over, slinging an arm about her shoulder and grinning slightly. "Don't worry, Hinata-chan, you know we still love you."

Grinning slightly, the girl nodded in return even as she snuggled back against his warm body, almost purring softly as she could feel Ino slipping over to his other side. Glancing across Naruto's chest, Hinata offered her teammate a warm, gentle smile. Next to Kurenai and Anko, the blue haired, red-eyed Kin couldn't help but pout softly as she watched the display. "No fair, no snuggles for Kin-chan!"

"You get to stay with Naruto-kun." Ino shot back with a mild glare. "And don't think we've forgotten what you did with those clones!"

"Mmm I know I sure haven't." Naruto agreed, his eyes glazing over slightly as he remembered the memories his shadow clones had transmitted back to him. "Talk about a desert that leaves you hungry for more."

"Hmph!" Ino huffed slightly as she glared mildly at an innocently smiling back at her Kin. "Don't think I'm going to forgive you so easily, Kin-chan... Oh no, I shall have my vengeance upon you, and it will be GLORIOUS!"

"Um, will it include spankings?" Kin offered hopefully, her eyes gleaming.

"Yes!" Ino agreed quickly, drooling softly. "But, they shall be MY spankings, and you won't get any of them!"

"Um... You're going to punish her by getting punished yourself?" Kurenai clarified with a carefully arched brow.

"DIABOLICAL!" Kin stared back at Ino in a look of dawning horror. "How could you be so cruel, Ino-sama?! To see those wonderful, delicious spankings, and to be denied them!? NOOOOOOO!!!!"

"Yessss!" Ino grinned, her eyes taking on a distant, smoldering gleam. "I shall get Naruto-kun spankings! I shall get Hinata-chan spankings! I shall even get Kin-chan spankings! But, no spankings for you! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Nooooooooo!"

"She's going to punish her, by having her punish her?" Anko blinked, then blinked again. "I'm not sure if that's brilliant, or just plain... well you know."

"They say there's a fine line between brilliance and madness." Naruto noted with a sage nod. "Ino-chan just never can decide which side of the line she likes better."

"But they're both so much fun!" Ino pouted again as she lightly brushed her fingers beneath Naruto's coat. "Don't you think so, Naruto-kun?"

"Well, it does make certain nothing's ever boring with you three." Kurenai grinned slightly before she would casually look down at her nails. "Hmm... and it does remind me, Anko-chan? It's your turn to go to the store."

"Wha...?!" Anko blinked slightly before glaring at her friend. "I went last time!"

"So?" Kurenai arched a brow slightly as she would continue following her their genin team.

"If I went last time, how come I have to go this time?!" Anko was pouting now, offering up wide, rapidly blinking eyes to the woman.

"Because." The red eyed woman responded back with a simple, sage little nod of her head.

"Because what?" Eyes narrowed as she glared slightly back at her teammate and more, as she would lightly cross her arms about her chest.

"Because, I said so." Kurenai responded back, before grinning playfully as she gave the woman a swat on her ass through her coat.

"Oh, as long as you have a good reason then!" Beaming, Anko nodded her head and followed after their genin team.

Kurenai blinked for a moment, standing there as she stared at Anko's advancing backside, before glaring at her friend. "Wait a minute, all these years, and all I had to do, to get you to do what I wanted, was to tell you because 'I said so?!'"

"Well, that, be in a relationship with me, where you know where my tendencies and likes lie, and where I'm beneath you in the totem pole." Anko paused a moment as she glanced back at her friend, and pursed her lips for a moment. "Oh, and slapping my ass helps."

Naruto blinked slightly before shaking his head and continuing on, pointedly choosing to ignore the conversation between his instructors. "I see nuting! I hear nuting! I know NUTING!"

"Oh, I don't know about that Naruto-sama." Kin purred as she came up behind him, lightly nipping at his ear as he could feel the brush of her collar and leash against his jacket. "I'd say you know more than a little bit."

"True." Naruto admitted a moment, before twitching a bit. "There are just some things, as much as I already suspect, I don't need verified."

"Naruto-kun, since when are you bothered by Anko-sensei and Kurenai-sensei talking about their sex lives?" Hinata blinked slightly as she looked at her teammate oddly. "Normally, you're teasing them about it non-stop."

"I..." Naruto paused a moment, before frowning slightly as he froze where he was standing... before whirling around, escaping the girls as he pointed his finger accusingly at Kurenai. "KURENAI-SENSEI!!! HOW DARE YOU!? How dare you inflict a sense of shame and embarrassment upon me?!"

"Pretty easily actually." The woman smiled back at her student, a sweet, angelic smile she sent so easily to the boy. "It was rather amusing at that."

"Oi, Nai-chan!" Anko frowned at her co-teacher and crossed her arms sternly about her chest. "No going around fucking with our student's minds!"

When the rest of the group looked at Anko with a mixture of awe and disbelief, she revealed a wicked, sadistic grin on her lips. "That's MY job!"

"Fine." Kurenai pouted slightly herself, before she grabbed hold of Anko and held her threateningly at the group. "I've got an Anko, and I'm not afraid to use her!"

Naruto slowly arched a brow as he looked from Kurenai, to Anko, then back. "Mah, I can top that."

"Oh?" Kurenai arched a brow as she smirked slightly at her pupil. "And just how would you do that?"

"I've got a Hinata-chan." Naruto jerked his thumb slightly over towards where the Hyuga girl beamed happily back at him and smirked just a bit. "And she WANTS me to use her."

"Scary Hyuga girl that wants to be used, trumps an Anko you're willing to use." Ino spoke up with a sage nod while Kin rapidly nodded her head as she peaked out from where she'd hidden behind the trio. A position, directly peaking along said Hyuga's side, and nuzzling happily against her chest.

"How about against an Anko that wants to be used?" Kurenai offered as she glanced down at the way her friend moaned softly and ground back against her hips with a blush.

"Mmm... Keep this up, Nai-chan, and I most certainly will!" Anko shot a lecherous grin over her shoulder as she winked at her friend, leaning back against her with a purr. "Getting all possessive and manhandling me?! Ooooh..."

"I suppose not." Kurenai resisted the urge to palm her face as Anko nipped lightly at her throat, sending a shiver down her spine. "BAD ANKO-CHAN!"

"Mmm but you're so... tasty!" Anko grinned, lightly flicking her tongue against the spot she'd just licked. "Can't I just... enjoy a little taste, hmmm?"

"We're in public!" Kurenai was blushing steadily brighter and brighter red as Anko ground slowly, sensually against her.

"Sooo.....?" Another lick, slower, teasing and nibble that followed up in its wake. "Let em watch and see how its done."

"Umm... umm...." Kurenai whimpered slightly, her face a glistening crimson as she shut her eyes, shuddering against the sensations Anko was eliciting from her. "Jiraiya! Jiraiya's in town!"

Anko immediately froze, before sighing as she pulled back, pouting lightly. "Fine. But as soon as we get home, you're following through!"

Kurenai sighed softly in relief, before she felt the spike of killer intent emanating from her students. Slowly turning her head, her eyes immediately widened as realization hit. She'd just informed Naruto that his hated writer was in town.

"That... that SLUT PEDDLER is in MY town?!" Ino and Hinata had both grabbed hold of each of Naruto's arms, while Kin grabbed him by his waist, instinctively the three holding the smoldering teen where he was as he clenched his fingers tightly together. "When I get my hands on him...!"

"You told him, Nai-chan." Anko smirked slightly as she winked at the other woman, before sauntering past the three girls holding back the boy, and lightly ruffling his blonde hair. "Eh, give it a rest kid. Besides, if the snake bastard's in town, we need that 'slut peddler' here too."

Slowly Naruto calmed himself down enough to clench his jaw and growl a response. "Fine... But all bets are off if he tries anything with my girls!"

"Whatever you say brat, whatever you say." Anko laughed softly as she nodded and then smirked again. "Come on, let's get you relaxed, I'm sure we can find a place where we can all just relax as a team."

Naruto paused, before pursing his lips as he lightly smiled to the girls before looking back at Anko. "Why, Anko-chan, are you hitting on me?! What would Iruka say?!"

"Mah... That I'm damned troublesome?" Anko offered with a laugh before she kept on heading towards the hot springs.

"Something like that." Naruto agreed before rolling his eyes and leading his girls onwards.

-o-o-o-

"Stupid no sharing springs because of that damned Jiraiya." Naruto grumbled as he trudged past the hot spring's walls, hearing a familiar set of giggles rippling through the air. "They're talking about me I know it!"

Pausing a moment, he froze as he heard a rather lecherous, and decidedly male giggle in the bushes next to the wall. Eyes narrowing darkly, the boy growled slightly before tapping the seal inside his sleeve and then tossing a chain directly into the bushes. A smirk of satisfaction blossomed across his lips as he could hear the startled yelp of surprise, before a white haired man jumped out from the leaves.

"Oi! What's the big idea you brat!?" The man glared pointedly at the boy as he huffed slightly and glared at the kid retracting the chain into his sleeve.

"No peeking on my girls, you damned pervert." The boy growled, his eyes flashing as he glared at the man.

"Pervert?!" The man snorted softly as he glared back at the boy, before smirking just a bit. "Bah, I am no mere pervert! I am a SUPER PERVERT!"

As the man slid into a smirking kabuki pose, Naruto twitched and suddenly flung a projectile directly towards the man, twitching just slightly as the man smirked and caught the projectile, before staring in shock at what he held in his hand.

"You… you… threw a butt plug at me?!" The man quickly dropped the gleaming rubber object and practically jumped away from it, staring between it and the boy. "And you call ME a pervert?!"

"You know a better way to shut up an asshole?" Naruto countered with a slight smirk as he would flick his wrists, and suddenly his knotted ropes dropped down out of his sleeves.

"Huh, that's not a bad joke! I can use that!" Cackling softly, the man seemed to completely ignore Naruto then as he quickly crouched down and scribbled away, giggling like mad as he did so.

"Use… that…?" A dangerous glint appeared in Naruto's eyes as he could feel the righteous fires of his muse spark and burn furiously inside of him.

"Of course! You should be honored!" The man bit his thumb and suddenly summoned up a massive toad as he posed atop it. "For I am Jiraiya! The Sannin's Toad Hermit! And the infamous writer of the beloved Icha Icha series!"

Whatever reaction the man had been expecting, it wasn't the near frothing berserker rage the boy suddenly exhibited. "YOU!!!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!"

"EEP!" Jiraiya blinked as he was thrown off his toad as the creature wisely unsummoned itself just as the ropes shattered the stone in front of him in chakra enhanced fury.

"Was it something I said?" Jiraiya stared in shock as he was driven back by the waves of killing intent backed rope strikes. When one strike came particularly close to a very valued, and delicate portion of his anatomy, the white haired man squeaked out. "HEY! I want to be able to use that!"

"You should've thought of that before you brought your filth into MY town you damned smut peddler!" Naruto snarled and swung his ropes even faster, letting them blur as they snaked towards the man.

"Smut peddler!?" Jiraiya growled as he was suddenly incased in a shield of spiky white hair. "I'll have you know Icha Icha is one of the finest series in the Elemental Countries!"

When his ropes only served to impale themselves on the spikes, the boy snarled and with drew them, , quickly replacing them with the heavy clinking of his chains as he swung them down at the man. "Disgusting, irredeemable filth!"

"Should we stop them?" Kurenai asked curiously as she tugged her towel tighter around her chest, while frowning at the ongoing fight between the two authors.

Anko turned her head and simply stared back at Kurenai. "What…?! You want to deny the brat his first chance at the old perv he gets?"

"He is, still a genin, Anko-chan." Kurenai pointed out and shook her head. "And despite what he pulls against the Jounin and ANBU, Jiraiya is none-the-less, on a whole other level."

It was then, that Jiraiya yelped and started to run towards the women and girls, his eyes wide with fear. "SOMEBODY STOP THAT MANIAC!!"

"Of course, the fact that he's a young, 13 year old genin with an axe to grind might also keep Jiraiya from getting too serious." Kurenai admitted with a sigh, even as Anko whistled innocently and tripped up the fleeing Jiraiya.

"WAAAH! OW!" Smacking face first into the cobbled stones, Jiraiya glared up at the woman. "Why the hell did you… Oh, its you. How've you been, Anko-chan?"

Jiraiya quickly rolled out of the way as the chain came crashing down on the spot he'd occupied only moment's later. Smirking Anko casually examined her nails. "Chan? Humph… Well, I've been helping my dear Nai-chan with our Genin team."

"Genin team…?" Jiraiya paled visibly as he ducked under another sweep of chain. "Sensei was actually crazy enough to put you in charge of a group of kids?!"

"Yup!" Anko nodded happily as she pointed to the still furious Naruto. "I see you've already met their team leader too!"

"Figures." The man twitched slightly, almost face faulting as he was smacked in the back of the head by another butt plug as he jumped out of the way of another chain. "Another…!? GAAAH Only you would train your genin to attack me on sight, Anko!"

"Oh, no I have nothing to do with this actually." Anko casually buffed her nails before she leaned over and wrapped her arm about Kurenai's shoulder. "Right Nai-chan?"

"Indeed." Kurenai smirked back with a sage nod as she would carefully wrap her arm about Anko's waist. "Naruto hates you all on his own." She paused slightly and lightly tapped her lower lip. "Something about peddling worthless smut."

"Mah, she does have a point Jiraiya-sama." Kakashi added as he appeared dangling from a nearby tree, while he read a copy of Sweet Silky Nights. "I'm just glad it's you this time, not me." The man offered his sensei's sensei an eye smile before resuming his reading.

"Kakashi!" Jiraiya shouted in relief before frowning as he saw the book in hand, and a glaring at the man. "How DARE YOU! Reading that… that… Have you no LOYALTY! NO HONOR?!"

"Mah." Kakashi rolled his eye slightly. "Who's the one that's getting attacked by the most feared genin Konoha's ever produced? Not even ANBU would help you right now."

"This brat?" Jiraiya looked back at the incised genin that was still trying to use his chains to squish him. "I'll admit, he's better than most, but, the most feared? Bah…"

Kakashi only smiled back at Jiraiya, as Naruto twitched again and growled. "Old man…"

Kurenai groaned loudly as she pointed an accusatory finger at Kakashi. "You did that on purpose!"

"Who, me?" Kakashi blinked innocently back at her. "Whatever did I do?"

"Well, you old pervert, it was nice knowing you!" Anko tossed out, grinning happily as she would wave at the man. "Be seeing you!"

"What the hell are you…?" Jiraiya snapped back in annoyance before he watched the blonde make a single sign, and suddenly, he was surrounded by a sea of black and blonde. "Oh, sweet mama toad!"

"You inspired Naruto to get serious." Kurenai deadpanned and shook her head.

"Not the brightest thing he could have done, was it?" Kakashi noted as he read through his book.

"You're an evil, devious man, when you want to be, Kakashi." Anko noted with a tone of respect in her voice as the three continued to chat as Jiraiya fought against the swarm of Shadow clones converging on him.

"Mah, I figured Naruto could use a newer, shinier target." Kakashi offered up with a grin.

"So, you set me up?" Jiraiya's voice growled from behind the silver haired jounin, who just smiled back at the slightly beaten form of Jiraiya that was standing on the tree behind him.

"Of course." Kakashi shot back, ignoring how Jiraiya still appeared to be combating the horde of Narutos. "You do deserve it after all."

"Brat." The man growled softly as he glared at the jounin, before shaking his head. "The kid's really something isn't he?"

"He regularly tests ANBU and jounin forces for their readiness and response times." Kakashi responded back and grinned a happy little grin. "And has turned the Academy into a regular war zone. The only instructor safe there anymore, is Iruka."

"A war zone?" Jiraiya blinked slightly and stared at the man. "And you're proud of that?"

"Prank war zone." Anko clarified with a smirk. "Lead by the Hokage's grandson and Hanabi Hyuga… Inspired by how their hero tests the ANBU forces."

Jiraiya blinked a moment again, before staring as he twitched slightly. "He PRANKS the ANBU?!"

"Yup!" Anko and Kakashi confirmed with a nod and a grin.

Jiraiya palmed his face and groaned, loudly. "He HAD to take after his mother."

"In more ways than one." Kakashi agreed, before blinking slightly, and quickly starting to inch away from Jiraiya. "Oh well, looks like you're break's over, you old perverted toad."

Jiraiya blinked slightly as he goggled at Kakashi. "HEY! You haven't called me that… Wait, what do you…"

SPLAT!

Jiraiya twitched as he was hit in the face by a balloon of pink paint. Slowly wiping it out of his eyes, he glared at Kakashi. "You know that was about to happen."

"Of course he did you old perverted idiot!" One of the Naruto's shot out as they glared back at the man. "I've gotten him plenty of times!"

Jiraiya twitched slightly again, before slowly, a dark, devious smile fell across his lips, and he slowly stood, looming over the boy. "Sarutobi-sensei never told you about your god father, did he?"

"Eh?" The Naruto's blinked in confusion, before glaring back at the man. "What does that have to do with anything? Guy's probably dead like they are."

"Oh no, Naruto Uzumaki… He's not dead…" Jiraiya's eyes were gleaming as he let off a slow, dark chuckle.

"Wait… how does he know my full name?" Naruto blinked again, a look of slowly dawning dread spilling through his gut.

"You see, young Uzumaki…" Jiraiya took a slow, whooshing breath, "I am your god father!"

"NOOOO!" Naruto stared in absolute shock as his clones recoiled in horror. "That's a LIE! IT CAN'T BE TRUE!"

"But it is, young Uzumaki!" Jiraiya cackled, a loud, booming thing as his arms lay crossed about his chest. "Look in your heart, and you know it to be true!"

"No! NOOOOO!" Naruto shook his head, his clones reflexively dispelling as he started up at the man, his most hated enemy, his most bitter rival with a look of pure, abject horror.

"Mah." Kakashi shrugged slightly as he lightly continued to read from his book. "Fraid so, Naruto. And… in truth, it's even worse."

"Worse?! How can it be worse?!" Naruto whimpered slightly as he stared in wide eyed shock at Kakashi. "That… that THING is my god father?! My bitterest rival?!?"

"Rival?" Jiraiya blinked slightly before looking curiously at Kakashi.

"He writes Sweet Silky Nights." The man clarified.

"Oh, then you're forgiven for your treacherous abandonment of Icha Icha." Jiraiya responded magnanimously, before resuming his maniacal look. "Yes! Worse! For you see, little Naruto-kun… your parents named you after the main character in my first book! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

"Popcorn?" Anko offered as Ino, Hinata and Kin finally showed up, while her eyes stayed glued to the show in front of her.

"What's going on?" Ino asked curiously as she dug into the offered snack.

"Jiraiya just revealed that Naruto is his godson." Kurenai responded as she absently took a handful of popcorn herself.

"Oooooh!" Kin stared intently at the scene. "Dramatic reveal!"

"Poor Naruto-kun," Hinata said sadly, even as she grabbed some of the popcorn for herself and settled in.

"We're not going to help him?" Kin asked carefully as she glanced between Hinata and Ino.

"No, we'll be there to comfort him when it's over." Ino clarified. "You don't really want to ruin a good dramatic moment."

"Oh, ok." Kin settled back down and resumed munching on her popcorn.

"Come, JOIN me!" Jiraiya's hand extended as his voice boomed ominously across the air. "Together, we could conquer the entire market!"

"I will never join the smut side!" Naruto shot back defiantly. "Your perversion destroys everything it touches! It turns men into weak, quivering perverts!"

"Hey!" Kakashi whined slightly. "I'm right here you know!"

"Kakashi, when was the last time you got laid?" Anko threw out, smirking slightly as she did so.

The silver haired jounin paused, looked up thoughtfully, before handing his head with a sigh. "I withdraw my objection."

"Good boy." Kurenai approved, smirking slightly.

"Don't forget Kankuro!" Ino added, as she shouted out from the sidelines.

"I've been trying to." Naruto shuddered slightly and shook his head as he glared at the man. "SEE?! See what your madness reduces men to?!"

"Mah, and you think you can do better, boy?!" Jiraiya smirked at him with a leer. "I am JIRAIYA! Women…"

"Run in fear as soon as they know who you are." Kurenai interrupted.

"Your powers are weak old man!" Naruto grinned triumphantly back at the outraged looking Jiraiya, his eyes gleaming.

"My powers are greater than you can imagine, boy!" Jiraiya shot back, angrily glaring at the young upastart.

"Where as, Me?" Naruto smirked slightly as he continued as if the man had never said a thing to begin with, before shifting just a bit and snapping his fingers as instantly Hinata and Ino darted out, grabbing hold of each of his arms in adoration, as Kin clutched at his leg.

"Naruto-saaaaaama!" The girls squealed happily as they ground softly against him in their toweled glory.

"My powers have surpassed yours." Naruto declared triumphantly as he crossed his arms about his chest and grinned broadly at the man.

"No fair! How come he gets the hot fan girls and I just get dirty perverted guys?" Jiraiya pouted slightly as he crossed his arms about his chest.

"He's hot?" Ino offered up, purring as she would lightly run her hand down Naruto's chest.

"He's got skills?" Hinata responded as she giggled at the firm possessive hand kneading her rump.

"He tastes absolutely heavenly covered in chocolate?" Kin leered up at him as she nuzzled at his knee.

"He doesn't leer and peep at girls while they're in a hot spring?" Anko offered as she smirked slightly and leaned into Kuranei.

"He takes care of his friends, and sets them up with hot girls?" Kurenai continued, smirking slightly as her eyes twinkled merrily.

"True, I did get Iruka, Anko-chan." Naruto admitted as he casually rubbed his chin. "And Hinata-chan got Ino-chan and Kin-chan."

"Don't forget Gaara and Sakura!" Ino pointed out with a smirk as she winked up at him.

"Temari and Lee could be partially attributed to you too." Hinata spoke up, looking down right bemused.

"And I'm sure you had SOMETHING to do with Hinata-chan and my fathers showing up all pimped out." Ino added, though she twitched slightly. "Though… I'm not sure I'm thankful for that."

"I only told Hiashi to go out and get laid!" Naruto protested immediately. "I take NO credit for the pimpification!"

"You told my father to go out and get laid?" Hinata asked, her pale eyes glittering carefully as she studied her male teammate.

"Of course I did!" Naruto glanced back at her, a grin on his face. "You know that's what Sensei would have wanted!"

"True." Hinata sighed, grudgingly admitting his point. "Mother always was a bit…"

"Wait… You're Hiashi's daughter?" Jiraiya spoke up, blinking at the girl, his eyes quickly widening. "And your mother…. Trained, Naruto?!"

"Mhm!" Hinata smiled brightly and nodded her head back at the man. "Yup!"

"Oh, sweet merciful Kami!" Jiraiya whimpered slightly, before his eyes stared at Ino. "You… you're not… Inoichi's girl, are you?"

"Oh, you know daddy?" Ino responded, smiling innocently at the man.

Jiraiya twitched slightly, before shaking his head. "Ok, lemme get this straight… Not only was he trained by your mother, but he gets you, and blondie there… the daughters of the two hottest, and most perverted kunoichi Konoha's ever had save for the brat's own mother… and some other girl?" He twitched again, before sighing. "Well, at least he didn't go to Iwa and steal a Tsuchi for his harem."

When both girls immediately glanced down at a brightly blushing Kin, the girl sighed slightly and pouted before cancelling her transformation, and sticking her tongue out at Jiraiya. "Jerk!"

Jiraiya took one look at Kin, then almost fell off the tree he was standing on, before whimpering slightly. "A Tsuchi?!"

"Kin-chan?" Naruto blinked slightly as he glanced down at the guilty looking girl.

"Um, didn't I mention I'm originally from a clan famous for producing beautiful, talented kunoichi schooled from birth in the arts of seduction and sensuality?" Kin smiled innocently up at the boy, still blushing brightly. "Must've slipped my mind."

Naruto twitched slightly as he would glare down at the girl, who blushed and hung her head even more. "Bad, Kin-chan." He paused before shrugging as he lightly patted her atop her head. "She's a rogue Tsuchi anyway."

"But…" Jiraiya blinked, his eyes widening even further. "Kin….? As in… KINUKO TSUCHI!?"

"EEP!" Kin immediately dove behind Naruto almost cowering there. "Nope, nu uh, no way! You're looking for the wrong girl! Honest! No Kinuko's here! Only one silly, lowly Kin!"

Naruto twitched slightly before reaching around, grabbing hold of Kin's collar and lightly tugging the girl back around. "Kin-chan… Explain."

"Um…" The girl fidgeted slightly as she looked shiftily one way then the other. "He's got me confused with someone else?"

"Girl, there's only been ONE rogue Tsuchi in the last 20 years." Jiraiya drawled. "And she'd be your age now."

"You sure I'm not just a girl that took advantage of her escape to take off myself in the confusion?" Kin offered hopefully as she wilted under the look Naruto was giving her.

"Yup." Jiraiya shook his head, before suddenly just laughing out loud as he leaned back against the tree and clutching his gut.

"Yo, Pervert! Mind explaining things for the rest of us?" Anko growled slightly as she glared at the white haired old man.

"Where'd you find her?" Jiraiya ignored the glare Anko directed at him, and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"She was part of the sound genin team, Orochimaru sent to the exams." Hinata supplied her brow arching up slightly as she glanced down at a Kin who seemed to want to completely vanish into Naruto's shadow.

"Oh…" Jiraiya paused a moment once more, before actually falling out of the tree as he laughed for everything he was worth.

"Kin-chan… Explain." Naruto spoke up in a rather serious tone, before smirking slightly. "Or I'll have to let Ino punish you just like she wanted to."

"Eeeep! No spankings for Kin-chan?" Her eyes grew huge as she looked up pleadingly at him. "And… and… Having to give spankings?!"

"And having to watch them getting spanked." Naruto agreed, nodding sagely as he crossed his arms about his chest.

Pouting slightly, the girl sniffled just a bit before crossing her arms about her chest and grumbling as she flopped down onto the ground, "Fine. Kinuko Tsuchi was the clan heiress who ran away from her clan at 10 years old because she didn't want to become that kind of kunoichi."

"It was the biggest scandal in Iwa a few years back when it happened." Jiraiya added as he pulled himself out of the bushes, still chuckling. "Anyone who brought her back to Iwa, would have almost been able to name their price. The family is practically royalty over there. She's like Tsunade-hime was here."

Naruto blinked slightly, staring from Kin, to Jiraiya, then back, before his lips twitched slightly as he gazed down at the girl. "Kin-hime?"

The girl winced, visibly and whined slightly. "Can't I just be Kin-chan?" She paused, before grinning slyly. "Besides, haven't you heard? Kin Tsuchi went and got herself blown up."

"Blown…. Up?" Jiraiya turned and arched a brow at Naruto.

"Shadow Clones, Transformation… And a big ole string of exploding tags." Naruto nodded sagely. "Her teammates got to witness her going boom. From about 20 feet away."

Jiraiya stared at Naruto for a long moment, before glancing over at a widely grinning Kakashi. "Oooh… This is…" The man snickered a moment, before he almost broke into laughter once more. "Kakashi… we gotta tell sensei about this! Oh, the irony!"

"I noticed." Kakashi nodded his head sagely in turn as he grinned back at Jiraiya. "Can you imagine, if Iwa knew?"

"NOT GOING BACK!!!" Kin declared loudly, clinging forcefully to Naruto's leg, holding it in practically a death grip as she looked up pleadingly at Team 10. "Kin-chan stay, right? Master and Mistresses not going to send her back to Iwa, right, right?!"

"Well, there is one way to make certain of that…" Jiraiya grinned perversely, before frowning just a bit. "Of course, that would probably end up with assassination attempts."

"Yes." Kakashi agreed, nodding back to the white haired man. "But… what I wouldn't give to be a bug on the wall and tell them."

"You know, that's really annoying." Naruto glared at the two giggling men as he soothingly stroked his fingers through Kin's hair. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

"Sadly, its classified, and we've been expressly forbidden from telling you, Naruto-kun." Kakashi responded absently. "But, when you do find out, I'm sure you'll get a good laugh from it, just like we did."

"Trust me, brat, it's down right hilarious." Jiraiya agreed with a smirk as his eyes twinkled.

"Great, even MORE about my parents that I don't know." Naruto growled softly as he glared at the two men. "One of these days, I swear…"

"What makes you think it's about your parents?" Jiraiya commented with a neutral arch of his brow.

"Because that's the only thing that no one ever tells me about!?" Naruto glared and growled slightly as he kept stroking Kin's hair.

Anko blinked slightly, and furrowed her brows as she looked at Naruto, then glanced down at Kin, before looking back at her student once more. Suddenly, her eyes grew as wide as saucers as she stared at him, as if seeing him for the first time. "HOLY SHIT!!!!"

Jiraiya froze as he saw the look of realization dawning on the woman's face, before immediately he shifted to professional mode. "Special Jounin, Anko Mitarashi! That matter is classified by order of the Third Hokage! To reveal it is treason!"

"But… He's!" Anko's mouth open and shut for a moment, staring in disbelief at the man, before growling darkly. "If ANYONE deserves to know it, it's HIM!"

"Be that as it may… You're welcome to convince the Hokage to change his ruling." Jiraiya responded, before muttering slightly. "Maybe you'll have better luck than I did."

"Or me." Kakashi added, before pursing his lips. "Or, Hiashi, or Inoichi…"

"Anko?" Kurenai arched a brow at her seething partner.

"It's been there, right in front of us the WHOLE TIME!" The woman growled darkly, as her fingers clenched and unclenched. "It makes perfect sense now! I can't believe I didn't see it earlier!" She paused a moment, before growling even louder. "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT OLD BASTARD!!!!"

At the Hokage's Tower, Hiruzen Sarutobi felt a cold, pulsing shiver of dread racing down his spine, as his head reflexively found itself staring at the photograph of the Fourth Hokage. A picture where the soft, quiet smile directed at the camera, now seemed to hold a sinister promise directed to the old man.

-o-o-o-

Minato Namikaze stared at the scene at the hot springs before turning his head, and looking at his completely dumbstruck wife. "Honey, did our son do what I think he did?"

"Do you think he made the renegade heiress to the most prominent clan in Iwa into his eager pet?" Kushina Uzumaki offered in a faint, distant voice.

"Well, that too, but I was more referring to inspiring Anko-chan into threatening Hiruzen until he let our boy know who we were." Minato responded, his own voice slightly distant as well.

"Oh…. Sorry I'm still wrapping my mind around the fact he's getting revenge for my people without even knowing it." Kushina blinked slightly, then blinked again, as she looked over at her husband. "Do you think Anko-chan will do that?"

"This is Anko-chan we're talking about." Minato countered. "You remember what she's like."

"True." Kushina agreed, before nodding happily as she snuggled up to her husband. "We'll have to do something extra nice for her when she finally gets up here."

"Hopefully, we'll have plenty of time for that." Minato responded back, before grinning at his wife. "So… are we not going to be seen for a week again?"

"No." Kushina responded, ignoring the slight look of disappointment on her husband's face. "I was thinking more like a month."

"Oh… I can live with that." Minato nodded sagely before grinning happily as he lifted his wife up and tossed her over his shoulder, carrying her off to their bedroom.

Sighing softly, the two remaining women looked at one another before grumbling slightly. "Like son, like father."

"Well, think my husband will actually put the moves on Tsume?"

"I'm surprised she hasn't put the moves on him, in all honesty."

"Maybe she's mellowed with age?"

"…"

"Right, at least we should have plenty to watch."

"Indeed."