Bondage Style

Chapter 21

Author's Notes: Ugh, this story is dragging on too bloody long. I lost inspiration on it a while back honestly, however, I refused to stop and kept writing it anyway, mainly because I intended to finish it no matter what. And, I will. Honestly, this is the problem one gets with writing a story on a silly premise like BS, you get to a point where you just... go bleh. It's amusing for a shorter story, but not for the lengths to which I've taken it.

I've got a few more amusing scenes to write, some of which were already written before I wrote this chapter, and some ideas that I wanted to see through. Once I get through those... I'm gonna end it.

Plus, of late, I'm getting more and more annoyed at the direction Kishimoto seems intent on taking the series. I'll probably end up focusing on... something, I'm just not sure what. I need to get an idea I fully develop and plot out. Otherwise they're only worthy of fragments.

We'll see what happens. And hopefully I'll be able to plot out BNTT far better than BS was.

-o-o-o-

"Ah, welcome to Konoha, I trust your trip was pleasant enough?" The Hokage's face bore a pleasant, inviting smile on his lips as he settled casually into his chair as he glanced over to the figure of the Kazekage.

"There weren't any real difficulties." The man responded vaguely as he settled in to the booth with the Hokage and nodded his head slightly beneath his veil.

"Good to hear. I trust you're looking forward to the matches?" Sarutobi smiled simply before shaking his head. "Though, it is a shame that only one of your children made it this far."

"Yes, I was rather… disappointed with them." The Kazekage's voice was mildly subdued as he spoke while glancing out over the arena. "Hmm… I was expecting more security involved than I saw coming in."

"Mmm? Oh, sadly a prankster decided to spike my ANBU's breakfast this morning." The Hokage looked more than slightly embarrassed. "Most of them have been unable to get too far away from a bathroom."

"Ah, I imagine that is most… unpleasant." The Kazekage agreed even as he smirked darkly behind his veil.

"Yes, quite." The Hokage agreed sourly with a sigh. "Oh, I hope you don't mind, we moved your son's match to last."

"Not at all, though, I do hope I the chance to see how he fairs against the vaulted Uchiha."

"Ah, you shouldn't underestimate Naruto." The Hokage noted with a slight smile. "He's far, far more devious than he appears."

"If you say so."

"Ah, looks like the first match is about to begin. Should be interesting, a Yamanaka vs. a Nara, childhood friends in fact."

"Interesting."

-Down in the Arena-

Genma Shiranui shook his head with a sigh as he lightly shifted the senbon around in his mouth as he glanced between the two genin casually walking into the arena. Each of them was carrying a scroll in hand, with the Nara actually appearing to… smile of all things, while the Yamanaka had a mischievous glint to her eyes. A glint that was far, far too much like another blonde's for his personal comfort.

"… Do I want to know what you two have planned?" The specialist asked curiously as he glanced between them.

"Mah, don't worry, it won't be… too troublesome." Shikamaru assured the man as he took his position in front of the blonde girl.

"Why, Mr. Examiner, don't you TRUST us?" Ino added smiling ever so sweetly back at the man.

"… I refuse to answer that on grounds that you might sic your teammate on me." Genma responded with a dry chuckle before he glanced between the two. "Ready?"

When both genin nodded their heads, Genma raised his hand up before suddenly dropping it sharply. "Match one… Begin!"

And with that the pair were suddenly running at one another, scrolls fluttering out as they each drew a line of blood across the items even as they suddenly disappeared behind a veil of smoke. For a moment, the crowd waited, with breathless anticipation save for a group of genin who snickered softly amongst them selves. When the smoke finally cleared, it revealed… Both contestants, sitting calmly at a table across from one another with a board game laid out in front of them.

Unable to help himself, Genma allowed a slight smirk to quirk onto his lips as he noted. "Snakes and Ladders?"

"Mhm… It'd have been too troublesome to actually fight." Shikamaru responded as he took the dice in hand, and then dropped them onto the table with a subtle and slight pulse of chakra to guide them to the result he desired.

A pulse that was quickly countered by Ino who smirked back at the boy. "Nice try, Shika, but it's going to take more than that to get by this time!"

"We'll see about that Ino, we'll see about that."

Back at the Kage booth, the Kazekage was twitching slightly as the name of the game the two were playing reached them. "They're… settling a match with a child's board game?"

"Ah, quite ingenious I must say." The Hokage noted with a smile. "They're subtly using their chakra to manipulate the outcome of the dice throws, playing it back and forth with a minimal use of their energies to see who can keep the most control of the outcome."

"Still…" Beneath his disguise, Orochimaru could feel a momentary pulse of worry as he considered the possibility that his plan had been discovered. A possibility he quickly discarded and sighed as he went back to watching the match. It was at least mildly interesting watching the pair try to out maneuver each other with their manipulation of the dice.

"I think they chose the perfect kind of game for this as well." Sarutobi continued on, smiling softly. "And they should finish their match with plenty of energy left to continue to show a good performance in the next round, no matter who wins."

"True, but I imagine that the civilians aren't finding this as interesting."

"Oh, I'm sure they'll get plenty of action soon enough." The Hokage agreed with a serene smile on his lips.

"Of course." The man agreed as he lightly glanced towards the tournament brackets. "I noticed you moved Gaara's match to last?"

"Yes, well I wanted to make sure that the field was in proper shape for the rest of the matches." Sarutobi explained with a casual smile. "Naruto tends to be… Exuberant."

"Exuberant?" Orochimaru's disguised voice spoke up, curiosity dripping as he again glanced down at the field. "An interesting way of describing him."

"You'll understand soon enough I'm sure." Sarutobi responded serenely as he settled back into his chair and smiled softly as he watched Ino crow victoriously as she shot ahead of Shikamaru on a ladder.

"Of course, of course."

-o-o-o-

Their faces bound in concentration, the pair worked hard as they battled back and forth. Eyes flashed with determination, or at least mild interest in the case of the Nara as they tested themselves against one another. Finally, at last, a sigh was made as after the fifth time he'd slid down a snake, Shikamaru glanced over at Ino. "You're just going to keep doing that, aren't you?"

"Why, Shika, I' sure I have NO idea what you're talking about!" Ino responded with an innocent flutter of her eyes even as she whistled innocently back at him.

"So troublesome." The boy responded with a grunt as he surveyed the board in front of him. "How much longer we need to keep this up?"

"Idiot! You're one of the ones who made up this plan to begin with! How can you not know?"

"Meh, it's too troublesome to pay attention to the time." The boy countered with a sigh even as he shook his head before glancing over at Genma. "Oi, proctor! How long's it been?"

"Hmm?" The man looked up from where he'd been reading a familiar book before glancing at his watch. "Oh, about… 15 minutes or so?"

"Ah, I guess it's been long enough." Glancing back down at the board, critically Shikamaru rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, the odds that you'd allow me to catch back up are pretty low."

"Non-existentantly so." Ino agreed with a sage nod of her head. "And we've already proven I'm better at manipulating the dice."

"True, you're far, far better at manipulation than me." Shikamaru agreed with a serene nod of his head.

"Thank… HEY!" Ino glared back at the boy with a soft grumble on her lips.

"Just pointing out the truth." Shikamaru responded with a slight little smirk on his lips. "You know how troublesome you are.

"Naruto-kun doesn't complain." Ino countered as she tossed her dice, before twitching slightly as her friend's pulses out maneuvered her own, sending her down a short snake. "Shika…"

"Why would he complain? He's more troublesome than you and Hinata put together." The boy responded with a smirk, before he rolled his dice and winced slightly as he found himself falling down another snake.

"Oh, I am sooo going to get you for that one." Ino growled softly as she narrowed her eyes at the boy, teeth clenched slightly as she snatched the dice from the table, her eyes burning with focus as she glared at the suddenly paling Nara. "Prepare yourself, Shikamaru!"

"Troublesome, damned troublesome." The Nara grumbled slightly before slumping in resignation.

What would follow, would go down in the annuals of ninja board games as one of the most abject, and vicious defeats in the recorded history of the sport. As the game continued, the Nara had been forced down, his shoulders slumping further and further until, as his opponent finally reached her triumphant destination, his piece still remained, waiting on the starting square. Fortunately, no one really cared about ninja board games, so after the Exams were over, save for an occasional bit of ribbing from his friends, Shikamaru was able to put it firmly behind him.

From there booth, both men in Kage robes stared at the finale, as Sarutobi let off a rueful chuckle. "It would seem Shikamaru choose to invoke the wrath of Ino."

"She certainly seemed to take a great deal… of relish in her actions and victory," the false Kazekage noted with a bemused voice.

"Her wrath is apparently widely feared among her male classmates, save one." Sarutobi noted with a sage nod of his head as he took a slight puff from his pipe.

"The Uchiha?" Orochimaru offered, struggling to keep the hope out of his voice.

"Hardly." The older man seemed amused by that as he took another puff from his pipe. "No, her teammate, the one facing your son, he already defeated your daughter in the preliminaries."

"I'm afraid he'll find Gaara to be much more of a… challenge."

"Perhaps," The Hokage agreed with a smile, before a knowing twinkle flashed across his eyes. "Or, perhaps, he'll surprise you."

-Rock Lee Vs. Hinata Hyuga-

"Yosh! I have been looking forward to this!" Lee grinned broadly, his eyes aflame as he pumped his fist firmly in the air. "Are you prepared for a most enjoyable match, Hinata?!"

"What, no screams of youth, Lee?" Hinata smiled back at the boy, her eyes twinkling softly as she casually settled into place in front of the boy.

"Ah, no." The boy shifted uncomfortably as his eyes briefly flickered over to where a certain blonde kunoich was smirking back at him as she leaned against her fan. "Temari-chan is most insistent about that."

"Oh?" Hinata grinned at the boy a moment, before her eyes followed his, and she sent the blonde girl a grin that had her rapidly paling. "I'll have to give you a few little… bits of advice later."

"A-a-advice?" Lee blushed suddenly as he stuttered out his responses, his eyes wide, trembling.

"Mhm… Temari-chan does have some very… very sensitive places, just begging to be exploited." The girl offered up her words with a serene little smile blossoming across her lips. "I mean… brought to your attention of course."

"I, ah, um, er… yes, I can just, um, imagine!" Lee flustered brightly under Hinata's teasing, his eyes wide, trembling as he stared back at her, shuddering just a bit as he attempted to not react quite so much.

"Shall we then?" Hinata grinned happily back at the boy, even as she settled down, kneeling patiently in front of a dusty patch of earth as she held up a simple cloth pouch.

"Yes! As I said, let us have a most enjoyable match!" The boy agreed readily as he dropped down and quickly seated himself as the girl opened up the pouch and let the shining bits of metal fall down from it, along with a single, red rubber ball.

"Jacks?" Genma observed with an amused smirk on his lips.

"Well, caltrops actually." Hinata responded, pointing out the gleaming points on each of the metallic objects. "And, we're going to play things a little bit more… interesting."

"Yosh! Hinata is most correct! The ball is bounced then we collect them!" Lee agreed happily.

"While trying to prevent the other from collecting them themselves, and defending what we've managed to snag." Hinata agreed with a slight smile on her lips.

"And whoever has the most when the ball finally hits the ground again, wins!" Lee nodded quickly with a grin.

"That seems kinda… short." Genma noted as he lightly shifted the senbon in his mouth.

"Ah, but we can keep the ball in the air, as long as it doesn't touch the ground." Hinata countered with a smile.

"Could be interesting." Genma allowed while he stepped back. "Whenever you two are ready."

Back in the Kage booth, Orochimaru stared again at the scene in front of him before turning his head to Sarutobi. "Again, a child's game?"

"Well, they are both taijutsu specialists." The Hokage noted with an innocent expression on his face. "I actually find it a bit refreshing that they've managed to defy everyone's expectations of settling things via combat."

"… Ah, right." The disguised sannin in exile responded non-committedly as he struggled not to break into an annoyed twitch.

"And they've started." The Hokage noted as he focused his attention out onto the field as the flash of crimson rubber rose towards the sky as two pairs of hands began to blur.

Sparks of chakra erupted blasting a caltrop out of the way just as Lee's fingers would reach forward it, all while Hinata was making a grab for one of her own. Only, Lee's hands seemed to move even faster, blocking her attempt with a sudden speed while snatching towards the flung caltrop. Again, a spark of chakra could be seen, as Hinata struggled to compensate for her lesser speed with bursts of chakra even as the ball descended back towards the earth.

Another, sudden spike of chakra sent the rubber item flying back up into the air once more as Hinata would flick a caltrop into the air snaking it back towards her side as she released it. It flew through the air for a moment, and even as her eyes widened in realization as she recognized Lee's hand blurring after it. In an instant, he hand it, snatched before it could touch the earth and pulled back to his side as he shot her a happy grin.

Gritting her teeth in determination, the Hyuga girl moved her hands faster and faster, using her chakra to enhance her speed to try and keep up. But, it was not to be. No matter how fast she went, the eager boy just seemed to be moving faster, no matter how she manipulated things with her chakra, he seemed to compensate and adapt to.

Finally, just as she was about to use another spike of chakra to send the ball rising for whatever time it was, Lee's hand shot out, and slapped the ball down onto the ground, ending the match then and there.

Huffing slightly in annoyance, Hinata crossed her arms about her chest as she glanced from the small pile of caltrops she'd managed to gather, to the much larger pile Lee had amassed for himself. "Well, looks like you won then, Lee."

"Yosh, it was a most fun match, Hinata!" Lee nodded happily back at her. "Your use of chakra to try and deflect my attempts was most impressiv!"

"Right." Hinata agreed with a slight nod of her head, even as she sighed slightly and slumped just a bit. "Congratulations, Lee."

"Thank you, Hinata-san!" Lee grinned happily back at her before he almost seemed to bounce his way back to the stands where a smirking Temari offered him a light peck on the cheek, sending the boy into an almost delirious grin.

As Hinata herself walked back to the stands, she found her teammates looking back at her with unreadable expressions on their faces. Feeling a nervous trickle of sweat dripping down the back of her neck, the pale eyed girl felt a momentary flash the almost crippling shyness she'd had only a short time ago. "Um... Sorry?"

"What do you think, Ino-chan?" Naruto spoke up in a carefully neutral tone as his guarded, crystalline eyes flicked towards his fellow blonde.

"Well, Naruto-kun, I have to say I'm rather disappointed," Ino responded with a grave nod of her head as she firmly crossed her arms about her chest. "To have our little puppy lose her match like that?"

"Indeed, Ino-chan." Naruto agreed with a casually sage nod of his head while he turned his head back towards Hinata. "I'm afraid this can't go unpunished."

"... Punished?" Hinata blinked slightly as her eyes widened owlishly. "But... but..."

"Yes, definitely punished." Ino cut her teammate off as she mimicked Naruto's nod of his head. "We simply can't have this sort of thing perpetuating itself."

"Perpetuating itself?" Naruto paused a moment, arching a brow as he glanced back at Ino, a slight smirk breaking onto his face. "Isn't that a bit of a big word for you, Ino-chan?"

"Hey! No blonde jokes from the guy who looks like he should be a sunflower." Ino countered with a huff as she crossed her arms firmly about her chest and glared back at her male teammate.

"Well, people have said I have a sunny disposition." Naruto agreed with a casual wave of his hand. "Oh, hey, look! There's Spanky and Shino!"

"Oh, is it that time already? Huh, Kakashi was actually on time?" Ino blinked in shock as she turned her head questioningly towards Naruto. "Did you...?"

"I might've implied something vaguely resembling a threat of forcing him the deviancy of Gai upon him no matter where he went." Naruto admitted with a neutral shrug of his shoulders. "I can neither confirm nor deny this however."

"Of course." Ino agreed with a nod of her head as she settled in and studied the pair as they walked out to the arena center, each carrying a chair and one half of the same table Ino and Shikamaru had made use of earlier. "Admitting it would just take the fun out of things."

"Um... So, erm... what was that about... p-punishment?" Hinata spoke up, nervously eying her teammates as they so easily left her hanging.

"Oh, right, that." Naruto nodded lightly, before swiftly smacking her once on her rear. "Bad Hinata-chan, bad. Don't do it again." That said, he turned his head back to the arena as Shino pulled out a deck of cards.

"...That's it?" There was a tremor of disappointment in her voice as Hinata flicked her gaze from Naruto to Ino as she pouted slightly.

"... You want us to punish you, here and now, in public?" Ino spoke up, arching a delicate brow upwards. "I think Spanky would be a bit upset with us for taking attention away from his match." She paused a moment, before grinning devilishly at her Hyuga teammate. "But, very, very kinky, Hinata-chan."

"She's that kinda girl." Naruto agreed with his fellow blonde as he nodded sagely. "Now, we have a match to watch!"

-o-o-o-

"... Are ALL of your genin going to subject us to children's games, Hokage-dono?" The disguised snake sannin asked through gritted teeth as he lightly flicked his disguised eyes back towards the serenely smiling man next to him. "I had thought... more of Konoha's nin."

"I think perhaps other nations have been a bit too... quick to focus on more obvious training exercises, my friend." The older man casually settled back into his chair, watching the way Aburame and Uchiha stared blankly at one another. "I find it quite... refreshing, to be honest. Each of them has already proven their combat abilities in the preliminaries. Now, they simply choose to prove their mental abilities."

"They seem more intent upon trying my patience." The figure of the 'Kazekage' responded with a slight hissing grumble as he none the less settled back into his seat.

'That too.' The Hokage agreed mentally as he allowed his serene smile to grow slightly on his lips while he carefully settled back. "I think they merely wished to reveal their mental flexibility, as well as their ability to use their skills creatively in a non-combat environment. We do take on more diplomatic missions as well as the combat ones after all."

"True, I suppose." The man grudgingly admitted, but still, Orichimaru had been hoping to see at least some amusing displays of combat abilities before he dropped his charade and the invasion began. The games the children were playing, might even have been enjoyable, if he himself was competing against a worthy foe of course.

"I have to admit, I'm most impressed so far. They've shown that a number of them are quite ready, at least mentally, to become chunin." Sarutobi responded, his voice almost happy as he settled back into his seat and steepled his fingers. "It will be a most interesting exam."

"Of that, I'm sure." The disguised snake sannin agreed, smirking beneath his veil.

-o-o-o-

"… Do you have any... Threes?" The stone faced Shino queried as he stared blankly back at his teammate across the table.

For a moment, Sasuke merely stared, blankly back at the boy, his face as equally blank as he took a moment, glancing down at his hand before speaking again. "Go Fish."

Nodding in acceptance Shino reached out, and carefully drew a card, placing it into his hand before nodding sagely as he carefully laid out a full book of threes, suppressing a smirk as he watched the Uchiha just barely, barely twitch. "It would seem that fortune smile on me today."

"Indeed." Sasuke responded, almost tonelessly, before, suddenly smiling, almost viciously back at his teammate. "Have any… queens?" That last word practically dripped with implication as he smiled back at Shino with a look of sweet, absolutely 100% false innocence as he continued before Shino could answer. "I know Naruto has some, same with Gaara, Shikamaru… even Lee! Do you?"

"…No… I do not." His words were bitten out as a rising buzz began to fill their ears as Shino's bugs echoed his irritation while Sasuke took a moment to savor the slight twitch on his teammate's brow. "Please, Go Fish… Preferably in Snow Country on thin ice."

"Now Shino!" Sasuke quietly admonished, shaking his head quickly as he looked almost aghast back at his Aburame teammate while he drew a card. "Don't you know? That's terrible karma!" Glancing at the card, he smiled innocently back at Shino as he twirled it around. "See? Absolutely terrible!"

The buzzing of Shino's insects rose even higher, almost becoming a roar to their ears as he would carefully bring his finger up, pressing his dark glasses further up his nose before he spoke. "I am most curious as to how you cheated."

"Cheated? Me?" Sasuke continued to smile innocently back at Shino before he turned his attention over to an amused looking Genma. "Did you see me cheat, Mr. Proctor?"

"Nope, can't say that I did." Genma responded honestly as he casually continued to chew on his needle. "Of course, it could have been that you just saw what the next card was when he pulled out his three like I did and decided to capitalize on it."

Pausing a moment, Sasuke lightly tapped his lower lip. "That would have been the smart thing to do, wouldn't it."

Shino only twitched even more.

"It is your turn you know, Shino." Sasuke offered to the stoic boy across from him, before he again let his face slide into that stony mask.

"Thank you… for reminding me, Sasuke." Shino pushed his glasses up once more as he started to shift slightly, his hands slipping further into his pockets.

"Oh, Shino?" Sasuke spoke up again, seemingly just remembering something. "If you try to get one of your bugs on me to cheat…." The boy smiled, almost serenely as he held up his fingers in a slight V and a spark of electricity shot between them. "I'd hate to find out what a lightning attack would do to your bugs."

"..." Shino stared back at Sasuke for a moment, before shifting as he scanned the crowds for a moment, before his eyes locked onto a suddenly nervous looking Kakashi before he simply... stared at his instructor.

-o-o-o-

"Kakashi-san... Why is my son glaring at you like that?" Shibi Aburame turned his stoic attention over to the silver haired man standing next to him.

"Err... Could be any number of different things?" Kakashi paused a moment, scratching the back of his head as he glanced down at his hand. "Because I'm reading one of Naruto's books during his match?"

"No... That isn't his 'my sensei is such a pervert, I want to sick my hive on his porn stash until there's not even a shred left' look." Shibi corrected him quietly as he continued to watch his son glare at the man.

"Hmm... because I almost made Sasuke late for his match, and appeared last minute just before he could be disqualified, there by both annoying him by making him stand there, waiting and waiting, and crushing his hopes of an easy victory based on my laziness?" Kakashi tried next as he would flip to the next page of his book, before offering up his eyes widened in appreciation as he stared at the text in front of him.

"Nor is it his: 'oh, how I wish my father would allow me to place a tracking beetle on my sensei so I could find him so myself and my swarm can ensure his timely arrival in the most unpleasant manner we can devise' look." Shibi corrected again in that same almost monotone voice, before peering closer at Kakashi's book. "The Kimiko scene?"

"The Kimiko scene." Kakashi agreed with a sage nod of his head before tilting his head slightly to the side in thoughtful consideration. "Mmm, because I was giving Sasuke some specialized training while Kiba was being used as Sasuke's boyfriend's walking and dodging pincushion?"

"... You taught him your Bug Zapper Technique, didn't you." A touch of accusation flared through the otherwise monotone voice before Kakashi blinked slightly at the man.

"Chidori is NOT a Bug Zapper Technique!" A slight huff of indignation left Kakashi's mask before he flipped another page of the book and continued. "Raikiri is."

"... There are days where I question why you were ever allowed to become an instructor." Shibi sighed slightly and shook his head. "Teaching one of the loudest 'assassination' techniques known to Konoha to a genin?"

"Well, it's more the fact that I'm good enough TO teach it to a genin." Kakashi countered back with a cheerful eye smile directed to the man, before he glanced back at the book as he offered one last thought for the man to consider. "Would you have rather he have been given to Gai?"

"... Point." Shibi reluctantly agreed.

-o-o-o-

"So, at last 'Bug Zapper Kakashi' reveals his true nature." Shino adjusted his glasses on his nose as he would stare back across the table at his opponent.

"... 'Bug Zapper Kakashi'?" Sasuke repeated, blinking for a moment before he turned his attention questioningly over to Genma.

"Third Shinobi war." Genma answered with a shrug and a chuckle. "He made use of his Raikiri against this one Iwa clan that used bees. Fried enough of em for the Aburame to finish them off."

"Still... 'Bug Zapper?'" Sasuke repeated as he couldn't help but twitch a bit.

"The Aburame are the only ones that call him that." Genma admitted with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Ever since the week after the event, Konoha's counselors have absolutely refused to have anything to do with either the Aburame or Kakashi."

"Know this, oh student of the 'Bug Zapper..." Shino declared, ignoring the side conversation between Sasuke and the proctor. "The Aburame clan shall never forget what your teach has done! Our eyes will be upon you and all like you!"

"... You remember that you're his student too, right, Shino?" Sasuke was staring at his suddenly animated teammate, the light glinting dangerously off the rim of his suddenly oh so shiny glasses.

The teen immediately paused, before slumping in realization as he collapsed backwards into his chair. "... I forgot about that."

"It happens." Sasuke shrugged just a bit before leaning back, glancing at his cards a moment before smiling back at Shino. "So, got any 7s?"

"Yes, I... Wait, it is still MY turn!" Shino glared at his teammate again a bit harder this time as the tick over his eye returned, twitching almost violently. "Do YOU have any 7s?"

"Go Fish." Sasuke responded back with a triumphant smirk. "I knew that, why I asked you for something I didn't have."

"Technically, not breaking any rules." Genma noted as he couldn't help but chuckle just a bit.

"... Sasuke-san... you do recall, that even if you're promoted to chunin and I am not, we WILL remain on the same team, yes?" Shino's glasses glinted once more as the boy gave a slow, thoughtful nod of his head. "And, therefore, you do recall that means that you will be sent on long missions, with just the rest of your team along to accompany you, yes? A team, which will still consist of myself, and a certain teammate who shall remain nameless, that I can bribe quite easily by keeping away the fleas without him having to take his regular flea baths, yes?"

"You fiend! Leave Akamaru out of this!" Sasuke responded, loudly as his voice carried back to the stands. "Trying to turn him against me with your promises of a flea bath free future!"

"... You have obviously been spending far, far too much time around Uzumaki." Shino paused a moment, before speaking up, almost as loudly. "Actually, I was referring to Kiba."

"Oh, damn, I forgot about him." Sasuke paused a moment, slumping down as he fought down the twitch of his lips that threatened to blossom into a smirk. "So long as you're not trying to turn Akamaru on me, Haku likes the mutt for some reason. Kiba I can deal with."

"Yes, but can you deal with Kiba's antics, while various things somehow... develop mysterious holes? Like, say those shorts you're so fond of?" Shino offered, his glasses now glinting in a far more sinister light.

Back in the stands, Kankuro lightly patted a practically frothing at the mouth Kiba as he struggled against his urge to run out into the arena and wreck his vengeance on his teammates.

"Hmph... I could always defect to Suna and leave Kankuro here to take my place." Sasuke shot back, crossing his arms smugly about his chest.

"Well, he might be an improvement." Shino countered. "At least his dolls could be put to use... my hive would enjoy their high fiber content."

"Are you sure you want to be associated with a guy who steals his own sister's panties?" Sasuke countered with a smirk. "Remember Lee's match?"

"Ah, true." Shino agreed with a sage nod of his head. "A most perverse tactic. Utterly reprehensible." He paused a moment, before continuing in a quiet voice that only Sasuke and Genma could here. "Though, quite effective. If his sister hadn't spoken up..."

Sasuke shrugged a bit and smirked slightly. "If you say so. I never really got the whole girl in lingere thing. Got any Jacks?"

"... You're gay, of course you wouldn't." Shino responded flatly. "

Temari sighed as she firmly held onto the collars of both her brother and Kiba as they both tried to lunge towards the arena floor.

-o-o-o-

"... You know, I'm starting to wonder if we shouldn't have isolated your team from the rest of our genin." Asuma noted with a dry chuckle as he took a slow drag from his cigarette and smirked over at Anko and Kurenai. "Their influence is getting quite noticeable."

"I think it's rather refreshing." Anko grinned toothily as she wrapped her arm about Kurenai's shoulder and held her close as Shino and Sasuke battled back and forth with their words and their wits. "All the irreverent smart-arsery makes me smile so much more!"

"I think that was one of the reasons most of the chunin started that petition." Kakashi's voice spoke up as he continued to read through his little book. "You in such a good mood makes them nervous."

"Why, Kakashi... I can't imagine why my dear, sweet, innocent Anko-chan being in a good mood would be..." Kurenai's voice was prim, almost scandalized as she glared back at the silver haired jonin before finally bursting into a series of giggles as she almost collapsed back against her partner. "Sorry, I couldn't finish that with a straight face."

"You got farther than I could've." Asuma responded with a chuckle while Baki shook his head from where he sat next to his fellow wind user.

"As the time draws closer and closer, I can't help but continue to wonder if I made the right choice." The jonin from Suna mused aloud, as he glanced for a moment around at his peers. "Such madness, insanity and snarkiness..." He paused a moment, tapping his chin in consideration before shrugging a bit. "Then I try to remember ever being this entertained, or seeing my students grow like they have been this last month... Before I glance around, see the book Kakashi is reading and I'm everything else fades away, and I remember, I do this for my Sweet Silky Nights."

"Well, as long as you're doing it for your porn." Anko agreed with a smirk as she casually snuggled even more up against Kurenai. "Everything ready?"

"Mhm." Asuma nodded casually with an innocent smile on his lips. "I kinda pity them you know."

"Oh?" Kakashi blinked slightly as he turned his attention onto Asuma and arched a brow. "Why?"

"Yugao got Naruto to help plan some of the traps."

"And, suddenly, any doubts I had vanish with the wind, and I am content to be on the other end of Naruto-sama's devious mind." Baki stated solemnly before he half glanced towards where an ANBU masked figure was settling into place at the top of the stadium. "Mmm... Kakashi-san, did you want any help with your assignment?"

"Eh, why not?" The last student of the Fourth Hokage offered the man a smile. "All the better to make sure he doesn't get away."

-o-o-o-

"So, you ready for this?" Naruto asked without quite looking at the red head sitting next to him with arms crossed about the chest.

"... Most likely." Gaara's voice was flat as he looked out towards where Shino and Sasuke were on their final rounds cards flashing back and forth between them. "It is still... the way I summon my sand now..."

"Eh, I'm sure you'll get used to it." Naruto responded with a shrug, before smirking a bit. "You seemed to have learned how to handle a girlfriend quickly enough."

Gaara blushed slightly at his friend's words though he struggled to ignore it as resisted the urge to glance over at Sakura. "Indeed... I simply hope my... act will be believable enough."

"Just imagine the looks on the faces of all those Suna nin that have been conditioned to fear the very sight of you for years, when they realize that suddenly, you're not on their side." Naruto offered with a sadistically innocent smile.

"That does help." Gaara agreed, before pausing a moment as he glanced back towards Naruto. "I had been worried about how my brother was going to take to this plan."

"... Haven't seen him with Tenten and Shikamaru, have you?" Naruto responded evenly enough before shuddering just a bit. "If Tenten wasn't more interested in Shikamaru..."

"I heard their laughter." Gaara actually shuddered a bit as he stared out resolutely at the arena, refusing to flinch. "And I pity my former comrades..." He paused a moment, canting his head slightly to the side. "Then, I'm reminded of how they treated me, and how they influenced my siblings to treat me, and I find that pity counter balanced by a sense of amusement and satisfaction."

"Plus, you have learned how amusing it is to mess with people's heads."

"I vaguely recall something along those lines." Gaara admitted airily as he lightly gestured, one arm leaving his chest for a moment before finding its way back.

"Of course, vaguely, right." The sarcasm was thick in the air as Naruto's lips twisted in amusement.

"Naruto?"

"Yes, Gaara?"

"I'll still have plenty of time to give you a sand wedgie once this is over with you know," The red head stated in his bland monotone.

"... You know the intimidation act doesn't work on me, right?" Naruto noted in an equally bland tone as he lightly examined his nails. "It, in fact, tends to inspire me to even greater heights of retribution."

"... Prank war once things settle down?" Gaara offered as he continued to stare out at the field.

"Hmmm... Pick teams after this is all over?" Naruto offered back as he continued to stare at the way things were coming down on the field.

"Since I know you'll demand your team and Kin as on your side by default, I claim my team and Sakura." Gaara watched Genma tally up the books as the match ended. "We take turns picking the rest from whoever's interested in joining in."

"Sounds like fun." Naruto agreed as he watched Sasuke being declared the winner while the Uchiha headed over to the arms of his boyfriend. "Looks like we're up."

"So it does..." Gaara agreed, before a sudden yelp was heard behind them as Sakura appeared wrapped in a tendril of sand and glaring angrily at her boyfriend.

"Dammit, Gaara!" Sakura growled at the red head even as she came to rest right in front of him, her feet never even touching the ground. "You can't just manhandle me whenever you want!"

"... Why not?" There was honest curiosity in those jade colored orbs as the he studied the girl in front of him, his head slightly tilting to the side once more. "Don't you want to give me a kiss for good luck?"

"... This is all your fault, you know." Sakura turned her head and glared accusingly at Naruto, who merely smiled innocently back at her.

"Who, me? Whatever could I have possibly done?" The look of pure amused innocence shown in Naruto's eyes as he smiled back at Sakura.

"You took a poor, sweet, innocent boy and corrupted him!" Sakura shot back, before a variety of different people froze and turned their heads to stare at the pink haired girl.

"... Sweet? ...Innocent? Gaara?" Kankuro spoke up as he stared at the girl in his brother's grip for a lingering moment, before turning his attention to Gaara himself. "I'm sorry, please don't kill me for this, but.... BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!"

"Heh... Innocent... right." Temari drawled as she chuckled a bit herself, looking at her little brother's girlfriend with a look of utter amusement on her face. "Girl... the only corruption Naruto's done is the good kind."

"Why can't I have been sweet and innocent?" Gaara was almost pouting back at his sister, ignoring the way his brother practically rolled on the floor in laughter, even as his sand snaked around and grabbed the back of his brother's pants and jerked up. "I'm plenty sweet and innocent."

As Kankuro let out a quiet shriek of pain and surprise, Temari simply gave her youngest brother a look. "You used to terrify grown nin, kill people who got on your bad side, cackled maniacally in battle, especially when you got to rain blood down on everyone."

"I was still sweet and innocent." Gaara insisted even as the rest of the group stared back at him. "I was just misunderstood."

"Of course, sweety." Sakura agreed as she leaned down and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. "Good Luck."

"No." Gaara paused a moment, before pulling Sakura back as he wrapped her surprised body up in his arms. "That is not a good luck kiss."

"Wha...?" Sakura could only blink in worried confusion, before Gaara suddenly swept her low, his lips inches above her own.

"THIS is a good luck kiss." And with that, his hand gently cradling the back of the girl's neck, a thumb, brushing softly against her flesh, she could feel his lips pressing onto hers, a soft, insistent motion that slowly grew in intensity as his eyes fell closed and his tongue slipped into her mouth.

For an instant, Sakura's eyes widened in shock, and she froze, her body grown stiff and unyielding, before just as quickly, her eyes fluttered closed and she melted back into his grip. Her arms slipped up, wrapping back against his shoulders, pressing her chest to his as her toes curled visibly in her sandals. Finally, after several long, heated moments, a cough interupted them as Genma popped up.

"You know you're enjoying yourself and what not, but we ARE waiting on you." The Proctor noted with a spark of amusement in his eyes.

Nodding in acknowledgment, Gaara set down the now dazed Sakura before striding towards the Arena floor.

Before Naruto moved to follow him, Ino grabbed hold of his sleeve and pouted at him. "Naruto-kun, how come you didn't kiss US that way for luck?"

"Because you'd have ended up like that?" The blonde boy offered up as he gestured towards the near catatonic Sakura, a hazy grin plastered on her face as she swooned back and forth in place. "I wanted you to actually at least put on a good show, not stand there, drooling like an idiot."

"Oh, I suppose that makes sense." Ino admitted before sighing slightly and grumbling as she crossed her arms about her chest.

"So glad you understand, Ino-chan." Naruto lightly patted her before he made his way onto the field after Gaara.

It took them only moments to get into place, each standing across from one another, their arms crossed about their chests in almost identical poses as the wind lightly wafted across their bodies, causing Naruto's long over coat to sway and billow slightly.

"Nice dramatic pose. The wind's a nice touch." Genma noted as he lightly glanced towards Naruto.

"Hey, what's the fun of being a wind nature if you can't use it?" The blonde boy countered out of the corner of his mouth, never breaking his pose, before at some unseen signal, he and Gaara both turned to the Proctor.

"Well, since it's only polite, I suppose the visitor will call?" Genma noted as he glanced towards the neutral looking Gaara, who gave a simple, terse nod.

-o-o-o-

"Ah, finally, some action!" The disguised Orochimaru stated, impatience getting the better of him as he subtly gave the signal for the attack to begin on his mark.

"Oh? Well, it should be interesting." The Hokage agreed as he lightly let his fingers slip down into his pocket to tap casually upon it's contents. "Most interesting indeed."

-o-o-o-

It was then that the proctor took out a coin and flipped it into the air as he glanced towards Gaara. "Call it."

"Tails." The red head stated simply as his eyes lazily traced the coin's path, until it landed back in the man's hand.

"Heads. Winner: Naruto Uzumaki!" The Proctor declared as he made note of the face on the coin. "Get ready for Round Two!"

"..." Gaara seemed to stare at the coin for a moment, before suddenly he let loose a furious scream as sand exploded in a maddened swirl around him, blasting the proctor and Naruto back as he was quickly enveloped in a cocoon of sand. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yeesh, some people are such sore losers." Genma deadpanned as he glanced over at a blinking Naruto.

Back in the Kage booth, Orochimaru practically fell on his face in shock as Gaara was declared the loser, due to a, a... coin toss of all things! So great was his shock, he never even noticed how his hands had accidentally slipped into the 'go' sign. All around him, things went into motion as a sudden cloud of feathers began to descend on the stands and figures quickly began to fall into a sudden sleep.

-o-o-o-

"Looks like it's show time." Kakashi noted as he briefly made a quick release,deflecting the genjutsu away from him while he continued to read through his book, just as Baki did next to him.

"Yup, so it is." The man agreed as the rest of the jounin instructors sprung into action.

"We should, you know, go and get to our assignment, ya know." Kakashi continued, still flipping through his book.

"Yes, we really should." Baki agreed as he flipped another page himself.

"If we don't, then something might happen to Naruto." Kakashi noted as instantly Baki froze and the former Suna nin's book vanished.

"Well, what're we waiting for then?! Let's go!" Baki practically grabbed Kakashi by his shoulder and made to drag him off towards the masked Kabuto.

"Yar, yar... don't be so impatient." Kakashi sighed slightly as he put his book away then allowed his face to immediately harden. "All right, lets go to work."

-o-o-o-

As the Kage box exploded in a cloud of smoke, Naruto looked around the field before glancing back at the quickly appearing Konoha Genin and the remainder of the sand siblings. "All right, everybody know their assignments?"

At the collection of nods and affirmatives, Naruto walked over and knocked on Gaara's cocoon. "Oi! Gaara! Show time!"

As the cocoon melted away to reveal Gaara holding a flash light and one of Naruto's books, the red head turned his head and glanced at his blonde friend. "Already? I was just getting to the good part."

"Yup, already, come on, we got some Sand nin's to scare off."

"Fine fine." Gaara sighed and gestured. "Let's get going then."

-o-o-o-

Sighing slightly as he glanced at the kunai held towards his throat Sarutobi couldn't help but shake his head just a bit. "Really, must you be so over dramatic?"

"Come now, Sarutobi-sensei, you must have realized what was going on by now..." The figure chuckled silkily back as he smiled at him from beneath his veil. "And now, here you are, behind this barrier, alone with me."

"Oh, I already knew it was you, Orochimaru-kun." The Hokage responded dismissively as he lightly waved his hand even as he casually reached into his pocket and pulled out a small toad. "The real Kazekage would have been far, far more impatient with the matches. Though, I do have to admit, Shikamaru and Ino's little dig did have such a delightful effect on you.... And you're wrong."

Orochimaru could feel a cold shiver worry snaking it's way down his spine, even as he couldn't help but ask, "Wrong, Sarutobi-sensei?"

"We're not alone." With that, the older man dropped the toad on the ground, and Orochimaru leaped back to avoid the swirling swipe of a Rasengan by barely over an inch as Jiraiya appeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Been a while, traitor." The cold shiver turned into a crashing waterfall as Orochimaru stared into the eyes of someone he hadn't seen since the end of the Third Shinobi War.

Jiraiya. Not the comical, Kabuki-esque Toad Hermit. Not the perverted writer of Icha Icha. Not the spymaster or the traveler. Not even the Jiraiya struggling desperately to try to reach out to the memory of his best friend so hard that he couldn't bring himself to truly fight the man that still wore his face. No, this was Jiraiya, the Veteran of two Shinobi Wars, feared almost as much his own, prized student.

A man, who if he was truly honest with himself, Orochimaru had held no small amount of fear of. It was so easy to forget he existed. To bury the memories under those of the clown, the joker, the fool. So easy to forget those cold, hard, merciless eyes that had stood and simply watched an entire division of Iwa shinobi vanish into a Swamp of the Underworld.

As he glanced around, Orochimaru came to a sudden, and simple realization. "You knew what I was planning."

"Oh, not everything." Sarutobi admitted cheerfully even as Jiraiya stared back at his former friend, Rasengan still swirling in his palm. "But, enough, that, along with what we knew about you, it wasn't too hard to guess." Pausing a moment, the old man lightly tapped his pipe out with a light chuckle. "The fact that the Kazekage's children and their instructor decided they liked it better in Konoha than Suna helped a great deal."

And with that, Orochimaru summed up the grand sum of his thoughts in one, single word: "Fuck."

Author's notes: Getting towards the end. Hopefully I'll be able to keep this head of steam as I keep going.