CHAPTER 3

"No this can't happen, he's too young, and he's healthy! Why is this happening?" My mom, while sobbing, was spitting these frantic words at my father's cardiologist, who had absolutly no idea why this was happening to my young and healthy father.

"Ma'am I ran a few test and nothing is abnormal, so we are going to keep him here." the cardiologist said this and then excused himself from the room. I walked to my mother and hugged her, telling her it was gonna be okay.

"How do you know that Alice, it's not like you know the future?" My mom was right, I didn't know the future, so we stood there in silence.

"Esme," my father's frail voice was all but a whisper, but my mother turned to him as soon as she heard her name.

"Oh, Carlisle, honey, I'm s-so s-sorry. Th-they don't know what's wrong w-with you!" my mom, who had calmed down was now sobbing into my father's shoulder while he was comforting her. He was comforting her! He was sick and he was doing the comforting.

Edward and Emmett showed up then, they had spent the night but the had work this morning so they left. When Edward saw that my father was awake he quickly ran to him and my mother, bringing her into a warm embrace and held onto my father's hand. Emmett stood in the corner. He wasn't particularly good at this kind of thing. I walked to him and asked if he was ok.

"I don't know what to do, I think I'm really just in the way." He whispered quietly

"Oh, Em you aren't in the way by you being here you are helping dad. When I was sick, and everyone was around, it made me feel at home. And even if the worst were to happen I was okay with that because I was surrounded by people I love, and It is probably the same for dad, so don't fret. Your presence makes it that much easier." I comforted my big brother with tears running down my face.

March 11th, 2007 1:25p.m was the exact time my father's frail heart stopped beating. I couldn't believe he was gone. I didn't cry, but I think that was because I didn't have anymore tears left. We sat on the curb of my mom's house and looked back on the last 3 ½ years of my life. Jazz, Cancer, almost wedding, my father's death. And I couldn't help but think that my life was an emotional rollercoaster. Ups and Downs and loop-de-loops. And sadly I had a feeling it wasn't even close to being over.

The funeral, though sad, was as monotonous as the rest of my life lately. My mom and even brothers, who had for the first time broken down their tough fronts to sob along with the rest of the family, were crying for 4 weeks after the funeral. I sat there frozen for the most part, not speaking, thinking or moving. I was a statue. A sad, empty, meaningless statue. Jazz tried everything to the old me back, but the old Alice just wasn't there anymore. I cried late at night, after Jazz was asleep, because of what I knew I was doing to him, even though he wouldn't admit it. I felt horrible. I was the worst person in the world, and I didn't know what to do about it.

On April 24th, 2007 Jasper didn't come home after work. I was so worried so I went to his office. I frantically raced up the 16 flights of stairs because the elevator was broken. I reached the 10th floor and I couldn't breathe. I collapsed, still conscious hoping that someone would soon find me. 5 minutes later, Jasper, my knight in shining armor, came upon me on the stairs. He freaked out. He thought the cancer was gone. I couldn't catch my breathe to tell him what happened. He called an ambulance and we were soon rushed to the hospital. A half hour later, a flustered Jasper, and a pissed off me, walked out of the hospital. I was so mad that we didn't talk for a week. I knew I was being rash but he freaked out over something so small. I knew he was so afraid to lose me but he was getting all worked up about something so little. When my week pouting was up we kinda went back to normal, but something wasn't the same as before.

Jasper was even more protective then he was before, can you believe that? He actually stayed home from work for a MONTH just to watch me! I AM 27 YEARS OLD!!! I believe that I can take care of my self. So, I got a little winded, he didn't call me saying he was gonna be late. So who's fault is it exactly? JAZZ'S! It's Jazz's fault! Now wait, I need to stop right there. Here I go again blaming Jasper for all of my problems! Like I said before I'm the worst person in this world.

Once Jasper started going back to work, I felt relieved. Everything was normal. It felt just like it did before my cancer. Even though I didn't go back to work, Jasper's promotion brought in enough money for both of us. He didn't watch me as much as he did but he still acted like a puppy. Every once in a while I would catch him following me around the apartment. When I would call him on it he would say that what he wanted was in the room I was going to or he would cute his way out of it, saying that I was so beautiful that he just couldn't keep his eyes off of me. I never believed him when he said that. I was sallow-looking. Even though it was a while since I had been on chemo, I was still weak and sickly. Yellowing bruises covered almost every visible surface of my skin. And I was thin, too thin. I purposely always wore baggy clothes to make me look bigger than I was. My beautiful black hair, which used to be short like a pixie's, now was too long for my taste. It hung down my back. I never liked long hair, on me anyway. I just didn't care anymore and that's why I didn't cut it again. It didn't shine anymore, either . I wasn't who I used to be and it hurt me emotionally as well as physically to look in a mirror. There are no longer any mirrors in our apartment.

I have a poll on my profile and it is to help me with chapter 4 so if you want chapter 4 please vote. And, also Jasper has a secret from his past and it has caught up with him, but i have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what it should be so please leave me a review with your idea! thanks