Chapter 7: Don't You Ever Get Tired (Of Hurting Me)
Warning: Angsty feelings.
A/N: This was the original song that I planned to write for.
Thanks to my betas: zigpal and especially AshDawnSoulmates. She and I spent hours coming up with the right songs.
Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission. Song sung in this chapter by Ronnie Milsap.
"My last song is for the people I've been with the past several years. We were once closer than family, but I made a mistake – probably a few – and they haven't forgiven me. Didn't matter that others made the same mistakes and were instantly absolved of blame. Well, you didn't come to hear my pathetic life story, so I'll get back with the singing," Buffy said with a heartbroken smile.
You make my eyes run over all the time
You're happy when I'm out of my mind
You don't love me but you won't let me be
Don't you ever get tired of hurting me?
She knew that it wasn't as one-sided as the song made it sound, and they weren't really that bad. But unless she became a songwriter, she had to make do with partial truths. And seriously, was anybody's life as bad as some country songs made them sound? Wasn't the point to purge the feelings by exaggerating them? Well, if you sang, then let go – which was what she was planning to do tonight.
You must think I look bad with a smile
For you haven't let me wear one in such a long, long while
Still I keep coming back, how can this be
Don't you ever get tired of hurting me?
Buffy took a good look around the room for the first time during the instrumental. She was shocked and a little worried to see Wes and Cordy. How much had they heard? Oh well, too late for her to stop now. If she had continued looking at the audience, she would have seen Oz too, but then the singing part of the song started again, and she poured her pain into it.
You must think I look bad with a smile
For you haven't let me wear one in such a long, long while
Still I keep coming back, how can this be
Don't you ever get tired of hurting me?
As she belted out the final line again, Buffy stared at the former Sunnydale residents. The blonde Slayer knew that she was going to have some 'splaining to do. Would they listen or just judge her like the others? She knew they had both changed since leaving Sunnydale, so she couldn't really say.
Don't you ever get tired of hurting me?
They were waiting for her when she got through the crowd.
"Hey, Slaygal," Cordy greeted gently. They needed to establish right away that this wasn't an intervention in the confrontational sense. She and Wes only wanted to help Buffy.
The tone must have worked, because the guarded look on Buffy's face slipped a little. "Been here long?" she inquired.
"Since the end of your tribute to Spike," Wes answered. "He was truly that helpful to you? Was it simply because of his sacrifice?"
"Why don't we take this somewhere more private?" Buffy suggested, glancing pointedly at the people around them.
As they moved out of the bar, Oz considered catching up to them, but decided that Wes and Cordy had things under control for now. He would talk to Buffy later. She probably was staying at Angel or her dad's. He'd check them out in a little while. First he had to figure out if he wanted to see the others or not – especially if things were really that bad. It might be safer to see her alone. He mentally rolled his eyes when he came to the realization he was coming off a little stalkerish. At least she was used to that with the men in her life. He smirked as he exited the bar.
A/N: Next…'Stronger' by Britney Spears.