Disclaimer: I own no rights to "Twilight" or any of the books in the series. Nor do I own any rights to the characters within the books.
I must admit that I was pretty nervous about the previous Chapter and how you would respond to it. I guess I did okay, because you guys seemed to like it. Thanks so much, you don't know how much better I feel now. You guys are awesome!
As always, I must post a few of my favorite reviews from the last Chapter.
Kerry Hale wrote: WOW what a chapter. You had it all in there love lust cheating and death. Can't wait to read what happens next. Love this story and I can't believe Jasper
Sparxx27 wrote: I just found this story and I love it! I can't wait for more please update soon. I think this story is my new favorite.
Mary Beth wrote: Oh my goodness, I am in love with this story!! Anyone who tells you there's too much sex in it is crazy because that's what makes it so exciting lol always wondering if they're going to get caught and who's going to end up with who is part of what makes the story so great! Keep writing and I hope it's quick that more chapters get posted! :)
When my eyes opened up, James, my mom and dad were all sitting next to me on my bed. My mom was rubbing a cool cloth over my forehead, while my dad was holding my right hand between both his. James was sitting at the foot of my bed, looking concerned. I guess I must have given them all a scare.
I was just overwhelmed and I think it was too much for me to deal with, with everything I'm already facing. Of course they didn't know that, but my mind did. I needed some answers and now was as a good a time as any to get them.
"Mom, who is it that died," I asked with apprehension in my voice.
I saw my dad place a hand on my mom's shoulder, offering his support. James was still sitting at the end of my bed, but he looked pained now.
"Honey, I received a call this evening from my dad telling me that my mom had passed," she said right before she broke down in tears.
I couldn't believe that I didn't think of my grandparents when I was running images through my head earlier. I guess I expected them to live forever, how naïve of me right.
I sat up quickly and pulled my mom into a hug and we cried together. I couldn't believe that my Gran was gone. It's been awhile since I've seen her, but I just spoke to her a couple weeks ago and she told me that her and Pa Pa were going to make a trip up to Forks for Thanksgiving. It's not going to be the same now.
I felt my mom wiping her eyes and then she pulled away from our embrace. My brother went to grab the box of Kleenex I keep on my desk and brought it over to us. We both thanked him and dabbed away the tears.
"So sweetheart, we're going to be flying out tomorrow to go and help my dad with the arrangements. Your dad and James are going to stay behind and come up for the funeral, but I thought you would want to be involved in the planning," she told me.
Getting away is definitely something I need and although I would never had wanted this to be the reason why I went away, I couldn't deny that I was glad that my mom was going to let me go.
"Thanks mom, but what about school? How long will be gone for," I asked.
"We shouldn't be gone longer than a week, two at the most," she said.
"Don't worry Bells, I'm going up to the school on Monday to talk to the principal and James will get all of your assignments for you," my dad said.
"I'll let everyone know what's going on too Bells, so you don't have to worry about pestering phone calls," James added.
I could care less what everyone else thought. To hell with them…well, not all of them. I'm not angry with Ang, Ben, Rose, Emmett, or Edward. Ali and Jasper can go to hell for all I care! Of course I didn't say any of that to my family, because I couldn't answer the questions that would follow.
"When do we leave mom?"
"Tomorrow morning. Our flight is scheduled to leave at 9:30, so we'll be leaving here at 6 to give us plenty of time to get to the airport."
"Well, I guess I should get to packing then," I said.
"Okay Bells, we'll leave you to it. Let me know if you need any help," my mom offered.
I nodded and they filed out of my room, closing the door quietly on their way out. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, and cried for my grandma. After a few minutes, I went into my bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth.
I looked at my clock when I came back inside of my room and saw that it was 7 in the evening. I couldn't believe how quickly this day went by. I finally decided to check my phone to see how many calls or text I have.
There were 15 missed calls, 11 text messages, and 7 voicemails waiting for me.
I looked at all the missed calls and saw that the majority of them were from Edward. He called me 6 times, Jasper called me 5 times, Ali and Ang called me two times each.
I decided to check my text messages next.
Hey Bella, I was alarmed when I awoke and didn't feel you lying in
my arms. Are you okay? I didn't know what to think.
~ Edward
Bella, love, why did you leave without saying something to someone? We're all very concerned about you. Please call and let me know you're okay.
Love, Edward
Bella, darlin…what happened? Why did you up and leave like that?
Why didn't you at least come and tell me you were leaving? I was so scared when I went to look for you and couldn't find you.
Edward is acting strange. He's very hostile towards me.
Call me sweetheart!
~ Jazz
Hey B, what's up? Where you go? Was my party that lame?
Call me so we can talk. I'm sorry that you didn't have a good time.
Edward has been in my ass all my morning. He seems to think that it's my fault you left.
~ Ali
Bella, I'm really getting worried. I tried calling your phone several times and I even called your house.
Your mom said that you weren't feeling good and that you would return any calls later.
What's going on baby? I didn't know you were sick. Call me please.
Love, Jazz
Bella, WTF? How could you leave us like that?
I wanted to tell you about what happened between Emmett and I last night, but you flaked.
Way to treat your BFF.
~ Rose
Hey Bella, is everything okay? I know you had your reasons for leaving the way you did and I understand. You know you can talk to me if you need to, right?
When you're ready to talk, I'll be here.
~ Ang
I know I've already sent you a few texts and have called you numerous amounts of times, but I'm worried about you love. Would you please give me a call just to say you're okay?
I'll have my phone near me at all times. I won't say anything to anyone, I promise.
Love, Edward
The rest of the text pretty much went in the same way. Asking me to call or asking what's the matter. Pretty much the same thing over and over.
I deleted them all and didn't even check my voicemails. I just deleted them without listening to them. I couldn't listen to "their" voices pleading with me to call or asking how I'm doing, like they actually care.
I told myself that I would call Ang tomorrow evening once I got to Phoenix. I may call Edward tonight and talk to him, I feel like he doesn't deserve to be treated this way.
There was a knock on the door and then my mom stuck her head in telling me that there was dinner down in the kitchen and that I had to eat something, since I didn't eat this morning and slept through lunch. She also informed me that I had several phone calls from Jasper, Ali, and Edward. I thanked her and she left the room without another word.
I went and got out my luggage and started to pack. I was finished in under an hour. I went downstairs to the kitchen and found the food that my mom had made for me. I warmed up the plate of spaghetti and grabbed a soda out the fridge before sitting at the counter to eat.
My dad came in a few moments later on his way out. He said that something had come up and he needed to go into the station for a few hours, but that he would be back before midnight. He said that my mom was asleep and that James went for a drive with Victoria.
He kissed the top of my head and then he left.
After I ate some of my food, I emptied the rest down the disposal and washed out my dishes and threw my soda can in the recycle bin.
I wasn't sleepy, so I decided to watch some TV in the family room. As I was settling in to watch "What Happens in Vegas", I heard a faint knock on the front door. I was skeptical at first, because who would be knocking at my door at this time of night.
Then the knock sounded again, only this time it was a bit louder than the one before. I moved towards the door and peeked through the peephole to see my beautiful Adonis standing on the porch. A million thoughts ran through my mind, but the only thing that stood out was that he was the only one to actually come and seek me out. That to me said a lot.
I opened the door and looked into his beautiful green eyes. He gave me that sexy crooked smile and then I motioned him inside. I looked outside to make sure he was alone. That thought had just occurred to me that he might have brought the others with him. His car was empty on the inside and that made me even happier.
Once I turned towards him, I wasn't expecting for him to be standing so close. He grabbed me and hugged me to him. Placing a soft kiss on top of my hair.
"Bella, love, you had me so worried when I didn't see you in my bed this morning," he said with concern in his voice.
"I'm sorry Edward, but you looked so peaceful when I woke up that I didn't want to wake you," I replied.
"I would've welcomed it coming from you," he said honestly.
"That's sweet of you to say, but I also had other reasons why I didn't want to wake you. I wanted to make a clean getaway and I knew you wouldn't have allowed it. You would've wanted me to face the two of them with what I had scene and I must admit that I don't think I would've been strong enough to do that," I told him.
"I understand Bella, you have to do it your own way and I respect that. Just so you know, I've been giving them both the cold shoulder all day. Jasper even tried talking to me in my bedroom, trying to find out what was wrong with me and what had he done to receive the cold shoulder. I told him that he was imagining things because I wasn't acting any differently."
"Edward I want to talk to you, but we can't talk down here. Let's go up to my bedroom, but I need to turn off the TV down here first," I told him.
He followed me into the family room so I could turn off the TV and all the lights. We then climbed the stairs to my bedroom. This was Edward's first time in my room and I'm so glad that it was clean, not that it's ever dirty.
He looked around my room in appreciation. His eyes became somber as he took in my luggage sitting next to my bed. I forgot that I didn't put the luggage in my closet, now I would have to explain that to him. I was going to tell him anyway, so I guess now was as a good a time as any.
"Edward, it's not what you think. I'm not running away or anything, but I am going out of town for a week or two."
He was going to say something but I asked him not to until I finished what I needed to say to him first.
He conceded and I went on.
"My mom received a call today from my grandpa saying that my grandma passed away. My mom and I are going out to help with the funeral arrangements and maybe stay a few days after to get my grandpa situated. We're leaving in the morning," I explained.
He looked stunned and hurt, I would understand why in a few minutes.
"I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. Is there anything I can do to help you through this, love? I'm stunned that you're handling it so well, or at least it appears to me that you are," he said.
"Thanks for the offer Edward, but this is something that I'm just going to have to deal with over time. My grandma and I were very close. It hurts to know I won't be able to see her or talk to her on the phone. I know she will always be in my heart and my memories and I think that's what keeps me sane," I admitted to him.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before I spoke up.
"So, did anyone else catch the two lovebirds together," I asked.
"No, everyone else is oblivious to their deceit. When I went down to see if you were in Ali's room, she was asleep in her bed and Rose and Ang were still asleep on the floor. I saw that your sleeping bag was rolled up and sitting next to the closet."
"So you mean to say that even though she saw that I was missing from the room and the sleeping bag she loaned me was neatly rolled up sitting on the floor next to her bed, that she didn't even bother to look for me," I asked with disappointment in my voice.
"It wasn't until I shook her awake asking where you were, that she began to look worried. She jumped up and we split up to search the house for you. Ang and Rose had awakened by this time and joined in on the search. When she checked her closet and saw that your bags were gone, she told me that you left."
"She said she was going to go and ask Jasper if he knew where you had gone. I waited a few moments before following her and when I got to the bedroom door, I heard her talking to him."
Jasper, wake up! Bella is gone and no one knows where to.
You don't think she saw us last night do you? She's going to hate us if she did see what we did.
Ali, don't worry. I'm sure Bella didn't see what we did, especially since it should not have happened.
I don't want to hurt her Ali, I love her too much.
It's a little too late for that Jazzy. Especially if she did indeed see us fucking!
We may both just have to face the music and live with whatever outcome befalls us.
Jasper, I just want you to know that I don't regret it. I hate to have gone behind Bella's back but I've wanted to fuck you since the first time I saw you!
I know you and I can be happy together if you just allow it to happen. We will tell Bella how we feel and I'm sure she'll understand.
Don't say shit like that Ali! Bella has been the best thing to ever happen to me and we've been through a lot. You just don't walk away from something like that because something brighter comes along.
"After listening to all of that, I had had enough. I couldn't believe the boldness of my sister, nor Jasper's nonchalance about it. I just walked away and went to my room. Neither one of them deserve to be apart of your life. I'm so sorry that this happened love," he said.
"I'm sorry too Edward. I mean, maybe it was just karma coming back to bite me in the ass. After what you and I did up in that VIP room, I guess the heavens couldn't let us go unpunished," I told him.
"Don't say that Bella. They were at it long before we caught them in the room anyway," he said.
I could see that he regretted his words right after he said them. I don't think he meant for me to know about whatever it is I was about to get him to tell me.
"What do you mean Edward? What do you mean they were at it long before I found them fucking? What do you know that I obviously don't," I asked with anger laced in my words.
"Bella you have to understand that I never thought it would go as far as it did. I figured that the two of them were just so drunk that they were just caught up in the moment."
"What did you see Edward?"
"Remember right before I tasted you, how I went over to look out on the glass window at the dancefloor?"
"Yeah," I said while blushing. Remembering his tongue pleasuring me and then I quickly focused back on the present.
"Well, I saw them kissing while they were dancing and it was Jasper who initiated it. He even let Ali put her hand down his pants while he touched her breast. I don't think they realized they could be seen from the window, or else I doubt they would have done it."
I couldn't believe my ears. All along here I was thinking that I was the one who was to blame for the events that transpired between Ali and Jasper. When all along, they were gearing up to fuck anyway.
I know that what I did with Edward was still wrong, but I knew that if I would have let him penetrate me that that would be definitely crossing the line. Even if Jazz and Ali were pissy drunk, they still have to deal with the repercussions of their actions. I don't think I could be with Jazz again after hearing all of this. Maybe Ali was right. Maybe he and I are not soul mates.
I knew in my heart that my relationship with Jasper was over. I would sit down and talk to him when I got back from my trip. This time apart will be good for the both of us. It'll give him time to stew in his mess and I can figure out where my new beginning will start.
Edward and I talked for a few hours. I told him to tell everyone that I was fine, but that I did not want to see anyone else. I also told him to discreetly tell Ali and Jasper that I know their secret and leave it at that.
As I was walking him to the door, he turned and took my hands in his.
"Bella once you get back and you have time to deal with the mess that Jasper and Ali have done, do you think you can give me a chance to love you," he asked.
"Honestly Edward, I don't know when I'll be ready to be in a relationship again. Maybe we can take things slow, because I do know that there is something there between us. We'll see where things go. I'll be in contact with you and only you, while I'm away. Do me a favor and don't be mean to Ali and Jasper. He's going to need a friend and she's your sister."
"I will try, but I'm not making any promises," he said with a smile.
He leaned down and kissed me on the mouth for a few moments and then he opened the door, turned and gave me that crooked smile, and then closed the door behind him.
By the time I got in the bed, it was after midnight. James had got home 5 minutes after Edward left and I heard my dad pull in the driveway a few moments ago, so I fell asleep knowing that my family was all home safe and sound.
EPOV
I pulled into our driveway 10 minutes after leaving Bella's. I was smiling knowing that Bella and I may have a chance, but knowing that this wasn't going to be easy on her. I decided that I would take things as slow as she needed me to and that I would be there for her in every way possible.
First, I needed to let the two lovers know that their secret isn't so secret anymore.
I shut off the engine and made my way inside. They were all in the family room watching a movie. I stood at the door leading into the room, watching Jasper and Ali. They were sitting next to each other in the two armchairs we have in the room. Emmett and Rose were cuddled up on the sofa, while Ang and Ben were sitting together on the floor.
I watched as Ali and Jazz kept sneaking glances at one another and then turning away before they were noticed. These two seem to have it bad for one another, pretty much the same way I feel about Bella.
I walked into the room and everyone turned to acknowledge me, before turning back to watch the movie. I went over and knelt behind the two chairs Ali and Jasper were occupying. I leaned in close enough for the both of them to hear, but no one else, and said…
"Bella told me to tell you both hi and that she knows about your little secret."
With that said, I got up and went up to my room. I locked the door behind me and went to take a shower.
After my shower I pulled on some boxers, a T-shirt and pajama pants. I grabbed my Ipod and put the little buds in my ear. I kept my phone next to me on vibrate so I could feel it if Bella called or text me. I layed back on my pillows and closed my eyes. A few moments later I felt my phone vibrate. I grabbed it up quickly, thinking that it was my Bella texting me. I saw that I had a message each from Ali and Jasper.
WTF, man! Why is Bella talking to you and not anyone else? Open your fucking door so that I can talk to you face to face!
~ Jasper
What did she say to you Edward? What do you know?
~ Alice
I ignored both messages and decided to send a text of my own to my Bella.
Hi love, I just wanted to let you know that the message has been delivered. They're both skittish and want answers. It's going to be fun watching them try to figure out what you and I know.
If I don't speak to you before you leave, have a safe flight and know that I'll miss you terribly.
Bella, I love you…even if you don't feel the same way, yet.
~ Edward
I drifted off into a peaceful sleep, knowing that today marked the ending to one and the beginning of a new relationship. I would show Bella that I would always be true to her and that there's no other in the world for me, but her!
JPOV
I can't believe the nerve of that guy. How the fuck he gone tell us that my girlfriend says hello and that she knows our secret? Why the fuck is Bella talking to Edward and not me, her own fucking boyfriend?
Just then my conscience decided to speak the fuck up.
Maybe it's because you fucked her over you stupid ass! You had a perfectly good thing and you go and fuck it up with your dick. You deserve whatever the fuck she has to give you, even if it's your relationship. Not too many women are forgiving over unfaithfulness. So I hope it was fucking worth it!
I still couldn't believe that I slept with Ali last night. I mean, I had had a lot to drink and so had she, but I don't think I can use that as an excuse.
When Ali came to my room and startled me awake with my dick in her mouth, I knew then that I wanted to do this with her.
At first I thought it was Bella going down on me, but when I saw that it was Ali, I felt an adrenaline rush go through my veins. It's like ever since this girl has come to town, she has been shaking things up inside of me that I shouldn't be feeling from anyone but Bella.
I truly love Bella. She has been the best girlfriend a guy could ask for, but is that enough. I felt different when I was with Ali. It's like she pulled a whole other side of me out of me that I didn't know was there.
She also did this thing with her mouth that I'm sure was unheard of.
It's like, Ali is the opposite of what I thought I wanted in my girlfriend and Bella is everything I thought I wanted.
Maybe Paula Abdul is right, maybe opposites really do attract. I don't think I can deny it anymore, I think I'm falling for Ali and I can't help but to wonder where that leaves Bella and I.
I don't know what to do, but I do know that I need to talk to my girlfriend. I will go and see her tomorrow and we'll talk this thing through. I'm going to tell her about what happened between Ali and I, even if she already knows, and then I'll see what she has to say.
For now, I think it would be best if I stayed away from Alice. I don't need anything else clouding my thoughts right now, or at least, anymore of Alice's charms.
I felt my calm existence preparing for a storm, how big that storm would be, I have no idea!
APOV
Bella has a lot of nerve sending Edward to give us cryptic messages. What the fuck did he mean by, "she knows our secret?"
If I'm being honest with myself, I knew exactly what he meant. Bella had seen Jasper and I having sex last night. I didn't want to come between them, but I found him so irresistible last night and I couldn't help it.
After he kissed me out on the dancefloor and I put my hand down his pants and felt the package he was packing, I knew that I had to have him.
I know that this is going to hurt Bella and that she may never want to be my friend and that is what's bothering me the most.
How could I do that to someone who I truly want to be best friends with? Best friends don't do that kind of thing to each other.
Boyfriends or ex-boyfriends are supposed to be off limits, right. So why did I throw caution to the wind and take what wasn't mind?
Yes we were intoxicated, but I knew what I was doing when I went into that bedroom and saw him lying there on the bed in the nude. It was like he was waiting for me.
That's why I got in the bed with him and took his slightly hardened dick in my mouth and brought him to attention, in more than one way. Once he saw that it was me and he didn't send me away, I took that as incentive enough to keep on doing what I was doing.
Once I had made him cum, I removed my nightshirt and boyshorts and impaled myself on his cock. I rode him like I've never ridden anyone before. He seemed to be enjoying it because he was moaning my name, not hers.
We did it several times through the night before I decided to go back to my room before anyone knew I was missing. I had wanted to bask in the moment and convinced him to have sex with me multiple times, in case it was the only opportunity we had.
He assured me that it would never happen again because he had no intentions of breaking things off with Bella.
I for one, new that it was only a matter of time before their relationship was over. Neither one wanted to believe me when I say that I've already seen what their future has in stored for them, it's definitely not each other.
*Back to Bella's POV
I awoke in tears. I can't remember what it was that I had dreamt about, but I know my grandmother had had a role in it. I tried my hardest to remember anything about the dream, but it just wouldn't come.
I glanced over at my clock and saw the time to be 4:11. I knew I had almost 2 hours before we were leaving, but I couldn't go back to sleep. I got up from my bed and made the bed. I walked into my bathroom and did my business, before hopping in the steaming shower.
Once I felt refreshed, I exited the shower and wrapped my towel around my body. I brushed my teeth and dried my hair. Not really feeling like doing anything special to my hair, I decided to put it in a high ponytail.
When I packed last night, I was sure to leave out an outfit to wear that would serve dual purposes. I wanted to be warm enough that I didn't need to carry a heavy jacket on the plane, but still be cool enough to not have to peel off a lot of clothing once we landed in Phoenix. It would be at least 90 degrees in Phoenix today.
So I chose a pair of skinny jeans, a light blue baby doll top and a pair of ballet flats. I also grabbed my hooded, zip up cardigan to wear, so I would keep warm. I chose not to wear much make-up, just some eyeliner and lip-gloss. I doubled checked everything to be sure I wasn't forgetting anything and I headed downstairs with my luggage and carry-on bag. My carry-on bag held my favorite book "Withering Heights", a few magazines, my Ipod and my laptop.
By the time I got downstairs, it was 5:21. My mom was running around like a crazy person, spouting off orders and reminders to my father and my brother. Both of them would be taking us to the airport.
James came over and took my luggage from me, saying that he needed an excuse to get out of the house for a moment. So he volunteered to take my luggage out to the car. I gave him a knowing smile, because I know how Renee could be when she wanted to make sure things would go smoothly in her absence.
I walked over to the counter to take a seat, when my mom spotted me.
"Oh Bella, good you're ready. Now are you sure you have everything you'll need for the duration of stay? I want you to be sure now, so your father doesn't have to ship anything out to you. Oh and I made some breakfast, so go ahead and eat and we'll get going," she finished while walking briskly from the room mumbling to herself.
"Don't worry Bella, that's how she's been all morning. I think it's her way of dealing with things for the moment," my dad told me in comfort.
Little did he know, I expected this kind of behavior from Renee. She's never been one to really show her emotions. She rather ramble or clean instead of facing things head on. I know she's going to have a major breakdown before this is all over, because she was very close to grandma Marie and I know her death is going to be hard for her. I would be there to help my mom through this.
I made a small plate of bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast and took it back over to the counter. My dad poured me some orange juice and we sat and chatted while I ate my food. A few minutes later, James strolled back in and took a seat next to me.
"How are you feeling little sis," he asked.
"I'm doing okay, I think. I know it'll be harder not to cry or be sad, once we're there with PaPa. I'm going to try to be strong though and hold myself together for mom and grandpa's sake," I told him.
"You're a really amazing person Bells. I'm so glad to have you as a daughter. I know you'll help them through this hard time, as I'm sure they will help you through it," my dad said.
I couldn't find any words to say to that, so I just nodded my head and smiled at him. I knew he would understand.
My mom came back into the kitchen and stopped at the counter, looking at each of us.
"I'm really sorry you guys. I just keep trying to convince myself that it'll be okay, when I don't know how that can be. I don't know how I'm going to get through this and stay strong for dad," she admitted letting her tears fall.
"Sweetheart, no one expects you to be strong or upbeat through any of this. You have just lost a parent and that's not something that's easy to deal with. You are not going to have great days, but you will get through this in time. I promise that you will, because we're here to help you do just that," my dad told her consolingly.
While they were having their moment, I pulled James into the great room with me.
"How are things going with you and Victoria? I know you went for a drive with her last night, are things going pretty well for you two then?"
"Yes, things are pretty good between us. She and I definitely have many things in common and get along well. Last night we just drove around and talked about any and everything and then nothing. It was one of the best, weirdest conversations I've ever shared with any other woman I've dated," he admitted.
"I'm happy that you're happy big brother. I hope it continues to be this wonderful for you," I said.
"Thanks Bells. You really are one of a kind and I'm glad that you're my sister."
"Awww, you're not so bad yourself James."
I hugged him to show him that I really meant the words I said.
Our parents walked in as we were stepping away from our hug and they both were smiling. We left the house and headed off to the airport.
The drive to the airport was uneventful and quick. We got our tickets from the reservation agent and checked our luggage. We said our good-byes to dad and James right next to the screening area. They watched us get through screening with no problems and then left for home.
We found our gate with no problems and found a couple of chairs to sit in. We still had 1 ½ hours until our flight would be leaving. Since we were sitting in 1st class, we would be boarding first. There was no need to go and stand in the long lines that were forming for our plane.
My mom went off to use the restroom and I decided to check my phone for anymore text or missed calls. I had purposely avoided checking my phone so far this morning, because I didn't want to read any more messages from Ali and Jasper.
When I looked at my phone, the first message I saw was from Edward.
Hi love, I just wanted to let you know that the message has been delivered. They're both skittish and want answers. It's going to be fun watching them try to figure out what you and I know.
If I don't speak to you before you leave, have a safe flight and know that I'll miss you terribly.
Bella, I love you…even if you don't feel the same way, yet.
~ Edward
I didn't know what to feel, now that Edward had delivered the message to the cheaters. I didn't even want to think about them right now. I needed to focus my attention on my family. However, I couldn't reframe my mind from drifting off to think of a certain bronze haired beauty.
I wonder how Edward would feel if he knew that I thought he was beautiful. Isn't that a term used to describe a woman's looks? I think there's an exception to the rule, because in this case, he is definitely a beautiful man.
I felt the need to reply to his text, so I got to it before my mom came back.
Hi Edward…it was a pleasant surprise to see your text this morning. I'm sitting here at the airport waiting for our plane to board. I'm still in shock about my grandmother, but I also need this time away.
Edward, please don't try to be difficult with Jasper and Alice. They are going to have to deal with their deceit in time, but for now, just be there for them.
I'm going to miss you and you can never possibly know how I feel about you.
In time you will though…
Be good while I'm gone and I can't wait to see you when I return…whenever that is.
~ Love, Your Bella
I quickly hit send so I wouldn't chicken out and delete the message before sending it. I don't know where I got the balls to write the things I did, but it's the way I feel. I'm pretty sure that I don't love Edward, it may be more infatuation than love.
I am sure that I will love him unconditionally over time. I am pretty certain that my relationship with Jasper is over and I can truly admit to myself that I really want something with Edward. It's been brewing for some time now, and since the circumstances of my relationship with Jasper have changed, I'm free to love whomever I choose.
By the time I get back, I will know what I'm going to do. In the meantime, this is going to have to be moved to the back burner.
My mom returned a few minutes later with a Grande' caramel macchiato from Starbucks for me. Bless this woman for knowing my weakness.
That was exactly what I needed and I finished it up right before we boarded the plane.
Our flight was uneventful and we landed in the Valley of the Sun before I knew it. I had dozed off to sleep almost immediately. My mom was gently shaking me awake moments before we began our decent into Phoenix.
Once we had our luggage from baggage claim, we took a shuttle over to the rental car place. We didn't have a long wait at the rental car company, which we were both grateful for. They ended up giving us a new Dodge Charger. It was a really nice car.
It didn't take us long to get to my grandparents house once we got on the road. They have a pretty big house in Glendale, AZ, not too far from the Cardinals stadium.
We pulled into the driveway and made our way to the door. My mom has a key, so we let ourselves in. At first I didn't think Papa was home, because it was so quiet inside. When we went up to the bedroom my grandparents shared, we found Papa asleep across the bed. He looked like he had been crying and had fallen asleep from exhaustion.
My mom asked me to go and get some tea started while she woke her father up from his nap. I didn't hesitate, I turned on my heels and went to the kitchen. One thing about my grandparents, they loved order. Everything was always neat and in it's proper place.
I found the teakettle already on the stove, so I filled it up with some cool water and sat the kettle on the burner. I turned on the stove and browsed the contents of the fridge and pantry while the water got hot.
I made a not of things that may be needed during our stay. I saw that there were some cold cuts in the fridge and decided to make us some sandwiches for lunch.
Once the sandwiches and individual teacups were made, I loaded up the serving tray and headed back up to the bedroom.
My mom was sitting on the edge of the bed talking to my Papa. He looked so frail. He looked up at me when I entered the room and smiled. He stood, taking the tray for me and setting it down on the bedside table, before wrapping me up in his warm embrace.
"Oh it's so good to see you Bellzy (his nickname for me), I just hate that it had to be a sad occasion that brought you here," he said with sadness in his voice.
"I'm so happy to see you to Papa. I still can't believe the reason that I'm here either. It's still a shock to me," I said truthfully.
"You look like you're grown a foot since the last time I saw you. What are your parents feeding you," he said throwing a glance at my mom.
"It must be something in the water out there in Forks," I said jokingly.
He chuckled at my attempt at a joke. My mom even cracked a smile. We all sat down and dug in to the lunch I prepared. Papa told us about how he found grandma collapsed on the kitchen floor after he had come back from the market.
He said that when he tried to revive her, after calling for help, that he couldn't find a pulse. He kept up his attempts of trying to get her to breathe until the EMT's arrived. They took over from there, but she was pronounced dead on the way to the Hospital.
Papa said he just couldn't believe that she was gone just that quick. She had sent him to the market to get some fish, because she was craving it, and he said he wasn't gone no more than 30 minutes when he found her lying cold on the floor.
The doctor at the hospital told him that she had died from an aneurysm in her brain. He said that the clot had been forming for some time and it was only a matter of time before it would have burst, which would cause imminent death in most cases.
According to the doctor, my grandma didn't suffer. There's going to be a full autopsy done on tomorrow and we'll have the results from that by Thursday.
Papa told us that the insurance agent would be by tomorrow to talk with us and then we could go ahead and make the arrangements.
My mom was an only child, so we didn't have to wait for other family members to come and give their two cents. Papa said that he wanted us to be in charge of the arrangements, because he just couldn't handle something like that right now. Mom and I told him that we would handle it.
My mom told him that he should clean up a bit and then lay down for a while. That she and I would make sure dinner gets fixed and handle any visitors that may stop by.
At first he didn't want to do any of those things my mom suggested, but after I assured him that he would feel a little better, he gave in.
My mom took the tray back down to the kitchen while I went out to the car to bring in our luggage. Aside from my grandparents' room, there are 4 other bedrooms in the house. One is being used as an office, which is located on the first floor. The other three are on the same level as their room.
I took the room furthest down the hall, which has it's own bath inside. My mom had wanted to stay in the room that was next to Papa's room. There's a full bath situated between her room and the only other extra room on this level.
After putting her luggage in her room, I moved down the hall with my luggage. I unpacked all my clothing into the drawers and the closet. I set my toiletries inside of the bathroom and noticed the nice roman bath tub that was inside. I would definitely be putting that to use.
I unpacked my laptop and sat it on the desk by the window, plugging it in so it could charge. I also plugged in my Ipod.
I knew that I would need to help my mom in the kitchen with dinner and with whatever else she needed me to do, so I decided to change into a sundress and some flip flops. I took my hair down from the ponytail and twisted it up in a french twist. I wanted to look presentable to anyone who may stop by to give their condolences.
I took the time to check my phone to see if there were any new messages from Edward and saw that there were two.
Hi love,
I'm all smiles after reading your text. It made me feel such hope when you ended your message with "your" Bella. My God how I want that to be true.
You mean so much to me love and I'm going to prove it to you too.
I told my mom and dad about your grandma and they send their condolences. They will probably call your mom sometime today to talk to her personally.
Bella, love…I miss you so much and it's only been a few hours.
I can't wait to see your beautiful face again and hold you in my arms.
Let me know if you need me for anything and I won't hesitate to come.
Love, your Edward
This man has got me totally smitten and he doesn't even realize it. I don't think I even felt this way when Jasper and I were dating. It just seemed like it was always assumed that we would be together and we always did what was expected of us. Maybe that's why it was effortless for us and never a challenge. No relationship goes unchallenged, it's just not healthy.
This is our first challenge and it's something that we can't come back from. At least I can't.
Hi beautiful, I just wanted to let you know that Jasper went by your house this morning.
He wanted to talk to you in person and thought he'd take the direct approach instead of calling you.
James told him that you were in Phoenix and about what happened to your grandma.
He came back to the house crying and told us all what happened, I played it off like I had just found out.
Anyway, I think he may try to call you to offer his condolence…at least that's what I heard him tell Angela. Everyone is sad for you love and wish they could do something to help, even Ali.
My previous offer still stand, if you need anything, I'm there!
Forever yours, Edward
I don't know why, but something inside of me wanted to ask Edward to come and be with me. Unfortunately, I knew it would raise too many questions. At least I know that he will come if I want him to or ask him to. I didn't want to be rude and not respond, even though I know I needed to get downstairs, so I settled on a quick simple reply for now.
Hi Edward…I really need to come up with a cute endearment for you. Thanks for the heads up about Jasper, but I still don't want to talk to him.
I miss you very much and if I need anything, you will be the first person I call. I would probably be able to handle this better if I had you here with me.
When I get back, I'm going to need all of your help with tutoring for our classes.
Email me your yahoo messenger ID so I can add you to my chat list and we can talk tonight. Gotta go!
~ Your Bella
I put my phone away and hurried down the stairs. My mom was talking to a middle aged couple who had stop by to check on Papa. They also brought with them a couple of pies and a casserole dish with beef stroganoff inside.
We thanked them and told them to leave their information so we could contact them with the funeral arrangements.
After they left, my mom and I sat down at the dining room table with a pad of paper and an ink pen. We wrote down what would need to be done and who would need to be contacted before the funeral.
My mom said she was going to go and call the minister at the Baptist church my grandparents attended since I was a little girl. Since it was Sunday, the minister would more than likely be at the church.
While she was doing that, I decided to go and get my laptop so I could check out the local funeral homes and see where they were located. My mom had mentioned something about having the viewing at a funeral home and the memorial service at my grandmother's church.
When I made it back down to the dining room, my mom still hadn't returned. I could here her voice talking animatedly on the phone, from where I sat. I booted up my laptop and went to my favorite search engine (Igoogle) and typed in "local funeral homes in Glendale, AZ". There were several that were in very close proximity and wrote down three of them to contact tomorrow after the meeting with the insurance agent.
There was nothing else to do until after we talked with the insurance agent. I took my phone out of my purse, which I had brought down with me when I went up to get the laptop, and saw that Edward sent me his Yahoo ID. I chuckled when I read it…
"ThePianoMan"
I logged into my Yahoo account and added him to my chat list, then sent a request for him to do the same. I was shocked when he immediately accepted and then sent me a message.
"Hey love. Cute ID by the way."
"What's wrong with Bellas_SwanSong," I typed.
"Nothing at all. I like it!"
"I thought it was pretty original, for me that is."
"What are you up to? How long do we have to chat before you need to get back to your family?"
"I'm waiting for my mom to get off the phone with the church now. She's checking to see what dates are available for the memorial service. When she's done, then we have other stuff to go over."
"Oh I see. Do you have an idea of when you want to have the memorial service?"
"We're aiming for a Friday night viewing at a funeral home (we haven't chosen one yet) and then having the memorial service on Saturday."
"Looks like you've been down to business. I must say that you're handling this better than most people would. You're truly an amazing woman Bella Swan!"
"Thank you Edward, you always say the right thing to bring a smile to my face. You're brilliant."
"Compliments will get you…EVERYTHING!"
"Thanks for letting me know, now I know what to do to get you to be putty in my hands…lol!"
"I guess I did set myself up for that one."
"Yes you did, but it's okay. I was just joking with you. I would never do something like that to get my way. You mean way too much to me, for that."
"Wow, how much do I mean to you Bella?"
"Oh no you don't. That was a slip up and it won't be happening again. Sorry to cut this short, but I have to go. My mom is coming."
"We're still on for tonight though, so no worries."
"Talk to you soon love!"
My mom entered the room and told me that the minister said that Friday or Saturday would be fine with him. The church doesn't have anything booked for either of those days.
"That's great. At least that's one hurdle we don't have to worry about. Here take a look at these funeral homes that I wrote down and tell me if any one in particular is where you want to have the viewing," I told her.
She circled one of the names I wrote down and I told her I could call them if she didn't think she could handle it. She told me that she was fine and that she would let me handle some of the other business that needed to be taken care of.
While she went off to make the call to the funeral home, there was a knock at the front door. I went to answer it and found an older woman accompanied by twin girls, about my age.
"Hi," I said in greeting.
The older woman spoke first with a polite hello and the two girls followed suit. I motioned for them to come inside and have a seat.
They too brought food with them. There was a container with meatloaf inside, some green beans, some garlic mashed potatoes, and some buttered rolls.
The older woman, who I found out her name was Beverly, told me about how she and my grandmother worked together at the charter school in Phoenix. About how the students loved her and looked forward to her class.
My grandmother taught English mostly, but she also taught a few History classes towards the end of her teaching career. She's always been very strict about finishing school and going on to college. I think that's why my mom made sure she did the things that were expected of her, so she wouldn't disappoint my grandmother.
My grandmother was very proud of my mom for becoming a nurse and keeping top grades throughout high school and in college. She even got a full scholarship to Dartmouth, which is where she completed her undergrad courses. She went on to Harvard for her nursing program, graduating magna cum laude.
The twins, Laci and Staci, are seniors at Estrella Mountain High School and my grandmother tutored them a couple of years back when they were having problems with their AP English course.
After about 20 minutes of me talking with our visitors, my mom joined us. Our guest stayed for a little while longer and then they left their information so we could contact them with the funeral arrangements.
They were really nice and I'm glad my grandmother had good people like that in her life.
My mom told me that the funeral home she called said that they would take care of everything and that we could have the viewing there on Friday evening if we so choose.
That was great news. So far, everything was going pretty smoothly for us.
There were a few more visitors and lots more food being brought to the house. My Papa woke up around 4 and I went to put together some of the food that was dropped off, for dinner. I decided on the meat loaf, green beans, mashed potatoes, and rolls.
Once everything was ready, I called my mom and grandfather to the table. I had made some sweetened tea as well.
We sat and ate and talked about my grandmother and there were some emotional moments, but all in all we had a pleasant dinner.
My mom said she was tired and wanted to go shower and go to bed. I went with her upstairs to make sure she was truly okay and once she assured me that she was, I went back to sit with my grandfather for awhile.
We watched an old movie on the TCM channel and before I knew it, I was waking up to my phone ringing (which I was too late to answer). I looked over to my Papa's recliner and saw that he was sleep. I gentle shook him awake and asked him if he wanted to go up to bed. Surprisingly he said yes. He told me that he could manage on his own and that he would see me in the morning.
I turned off the television and went to make sure that all the food was put away and the dishes were done. I completely forgot about my phone. After I had completed those tasks, I grabbed my laptop and phone and headed up to my room.
Once inside I checked my phone to see that I had 2 missed calls from Edward and 1 from Jasper. I really didn't want to talk to Jasper, so I decided to send him a text instead.
Jasper, I appreciate your concern and thank you for the condolences, but I can't talk to you right now.
Please respect my wishes and not call me again.
I will let you know when I'm returning to Forks, because we need to sit down together and have a talk.
Try not to worry about me or anything, I'm fine. I just need to focus on my family.
Also, please ask Ali to stop calling and texting me too…I have nothing to say to her.
~ Bella
I'm sure Ali would be upset that I don't want her contacting me, but I'm sure she'll get the fuck over it. You may wonder why I'm angrier with her than with Jasper, to be honest I am equally angry with both of them. I only responded to Jasper because we share a history. I don't share shit with Mary Alice Cullen and if I have it my way, it's going to stay that way.
Jasper owes me an explanation and I'm going to give him the opportunity to do just that when I return. I'm also going to fill him in on what happened between Edward and I that night and I'm also going to tell him about the kiss at Mike's party. Once everything was out in the open, I knew I would be able to move on without any guilt or regret.
I decided to call Edward instead of instant messaging him. I needed to hear his voice. So I dialed the now familiar number and waited for him to answer. It's 8:18 so I know he's no asleep. I hope he isn't out or something, I don't want to intrude. On the 2nd ring I heard his musical voice greet me through the small piece of plastic in my hand.
"Hi love, I tried calling you a little bit ago. Did you get my message?"
"Hey, I haven't checked my voicemail. I did see that there were 2 missed calls from you and I also had one from Jasper. I sent him a text asking not to call or text me anymore, that I would see him when I returned."
"I'm sure he's not going to be happy about that, but at least he will finally stop contacting you. At least I hope he does," Edward said a bit warily.
"I'm sure he will. He's always been good about respecting my space, especially if I ask him to."
"Well that's a good thing. I wouldn't want to have to pummel him for harassing you when you have so much going on already."
"That's so sweet of you. I don't deserve to have you care about me as much as you do. I wish I had you close to me, because I really need to be held right now. I feel like I'm breaking on the inside, if you can imagine that," I told him truthfully.
"I'm sorry to hear your feeling like that love. I could be there by morning if you really want me to be there."
"As nice as that sounds, I can't ask you to do that. Plus you still have to worry about school and I'm sure your parents will not be okay with you missing school to come and be with me."
"Bella, don't be absurd. No one can keep me away from you if I really wanted to be with you. Plus, my parents absolutely adore you. They both said so."
"I'm glad that they like me. I hope that feeling stays the same even after things come to head between your sister and I. I don't want to make them feel like they have to choose sides, although I'm sure that would never be an issue. She is after all, their daughter and I'm just the kid of their best friends."
"You obviously don't see yourself clearly. They will be livid if they found out what happened between Jasper and Alice. To know that Alice deliberately went after Jasper, knowing he was your boyfriend, will not go over too well with them."
"If you say so. Can we talk about something else please? I need to have happy thoughts."
"Sure Bella, what do you want to talk about? Oh I know, tell me about Phoenix."
So I told him all about Phoenix, the good and the bad. We talked about our favorite things, things we dislike, where we want to go to college, how many kids we want, where we want to travel to and so and so forth.
By the time I checked the time it was after midnight. I had been on the phone with him for over 4 hours. I've never talked to anyone on the phone for that long. When I'm with him or talking to him, it's like nothing else matters.
He heard me yawn and decided to let me get some rest. I told him that the funeral would probably be on Saturday and the viewing on Friday. He told me to let him know for sure when and where it would be so he could send some flowers.
I told him that that wasn't necessary, but he told me he wanted to do this. I assured him I would let him know. We all but said I love you before disconnecting.
I showered and put on my pajamas, knowing that tomorrow would be a hectic day! I fell asleep easily and my dreams were full of Edward and his wonderful kisses and that magnificent body of his. I knew that without a doubt, I wanted to be with Edward and I was going to do just that.
A.N. This was the longest chapter I've written to date, but I felt that it all needed to be included. Next up will be the funeral and some surprises. Okay, so I want to know how you feel about what Alice did? Do you think Bella should get over it and jump right back into a friendship with her or should she slap the s**t out of Ali and maybe over time they will be back friends? Any ideas about Bella's upcoming confrontation with Ali would be great. I think Chapter 9 or Chapter 10 will be when Bella comes face to face with Jasper and then she'll come face to face with Alice. Please review and let me know what you think!